Caveman hippy

Caveman hippy
Monster ID	471
Locations	The Hippy Camp (Bombed Back to the Stone Age)
Hit Points	280
Attack	240
Defense	216
No-Hit	250
Initiative	20
Meat	None
Phylum	hippy
Elements	stench
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, head, leg, torso
Drops	dreadlock whip, handful of pine needles, stone frisbee
Quest	Spanish fly
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a caveman hippy

Unlike modern hippies, this one subsists on a primitive diet of nuts, berries, and twigs. Huh.

Unlike modern hippies, this one exudes the funk of not having discovered bathing yet. Huh.

Unlike modern hippies, this one's hair is a snarl of mud and ... okay, never mind. You can tell he's a caveman because of the protruding brow and the low-cost car insurance.

Hit Message(s):

He pulls out a primitive drum and engages in a one-man drum circle. Your brain bleeds. Argh! Ow! Ow! Ooh! Eek!

He whips you with his primitive dreadlocks. Okay, so they're not that different from regular dreadlocks. Argh! Ooh! Oof! Ooh! Oof! Argh!

He swings at you, but misses. The odor from his armpits, however, hits spot-on. Ugh! Ow! Eek! Oof! Eek! (stench damage)

Critical Hit Message:

He eats some kind of mushroom and starts wildly punching and kicking at things only he can see. Unfortunately, several blows randomly connect with your neck, groin, and skull. Ooh! Ooh! Argh! Ugh! Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

not known

Fumble Message:

He produces a bunch of dried leaves, a thin piece of bark, a flint, and some tinder. He rolls the bark around the dried leaves, then tries to light it with the flint and tinder. You watch, mildly bored. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: dreadlock whip (? chance)*

You acquire an item: handful of pine needles (? chance)*

You acquire an item: stone frisbee (? chance)*

You gain 63 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Hippy Camp (Bombed Back to the Stone Age)

References

• The line about "low-cost car insurance" refers to the Geico "caveman" ads.