Naughty Sorceress Quest/Old
Description
So there's this sorceress, and she's quite naughty. As such, the council wants you to do something about it because you're a nice person like that. Go forth, adventurer, and defeat this evil being - as a reward, you will eventually ascend. (Finally implemented, on 6-9-05!)
Tasks
Required Items List
| Take all these: | You'll need some of these: |
|---|---|
|
keys: misc: |
1 of: star crossbow, staff, or sword 6 of: razor-sharp can lid, spider web, frigid ninja stars, 1 of: acoustic guitarrr or heavy metal thunderrr guitarrr 1 of: tambourine or bone rattle 1 of: Tasty Fun Good rice candy, marzipan skull, Angry Farmer candy balloon monkey (entirely optional, but opens an easter egg) |
Entrance Cavern 1
Three Huge Doors
| Door# | Effect Needed: | Obtained from: |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Sugar Rush | Angry Farmer candy, marzipan skull, Tasty Fun Good rice candy, or Yummy Tummy bean |
| 2 | Wussiness | wussiness potion, Yummy Tummy bean |
| 3 | Rainy Soul Miasma | thin black candle, Yummy Tummy bean |
The Huge Mirror
To get through the Huge Mirror, get naked. Unequip all items and your familiar's item. The mirror breaks, and gives you the huge mirror shard... and seven years of bad luck.
Entrance Cavern 2
A Perplexing Door
At the Perplexing Door, you insert each of the six keys, and solve a puzzle for each key:
| Key: | Answer: | Item Obtained: |
|---|---|---|
| Boris's key | fish | fishbowl |
| Jarlsberg's key | phish | fishtank |
| Sneaky Pete's key | fsh | fish hose |
| digital key | Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A | stone tablet (Squeezings of Woe) |
| Richard's star key | equip star buckler, star starfish, and star staff, crossbow, or sword | stone tablet (Sinister Strumming) |
| skeleton key | carry a ten-leaf clover | stone tablet (Really Evil Rhythm) |
| balloon monkey | none | easter egg balloon |
A Perplexing Odor
Combine the following:
 |
fish hose | fishtank | |
|
hosed tank | fishbowl | |
 |
makeshift SCUBA gear | ||
Equip the makeshift SCUBA gear and enter the Perplexing Odor.
If you gathered everything before adventuring you should be fine here. Just click on the mariachis after the door and odor.
You have to have in your inventory the following six items:
- stone tablet (Squeezings of Woe)
- stone tablet (Sinister Strumming)
- stone tablet (Really Evil Rhythm)
- acoustic guitarrr or heavy metal thunderrr guitarrr
- stolen accordion
- tambourine or bone rattle
The Hedge Maze
- Adventure in the Hedge Maze until you get a hedge maze puzzle.
- Use the puzzle and rotate the pieces to line up a path to the hedge maze key
- Adventure again in the Hedge Maze to get the key.
- Rotate the pieces to line up a path to the exit
- Adventure again in the Hedge Maze to get to the Sorceress' Tower.
Tips
- If the puzzle is taken away while trying to solve it, adventure again at the Hedge Maze to get a new one.
- The topiary golems in the hedge maze are a very good enemy to fight to gain stats, but once the puzzle is solved you cannot adventure at the Hedge Maze. So, if you're looking to boost stats, this might be a good place to do it. This also has the advantage that you can collect multiple hedge maze puzzles, and only one puzzle is lost when the topiary golems steal them.
The Sorceress' Tower (The Stairs)
The Sorceress' Tower is a series of enemies which you cannot defeat on your own, you must use special items to kill them. They give many stats points when you beat them, so you should equip a blood-faced volleyball or hovering sombrero to make full use of the stat points. The monsters are different for each player.
The Sorceress' Tower (Top)
Like the stairs, the adventures are randomized for each player. To an extent, that is. The events appear in the order below, but all people have different Codes, different Truth-Tellers, and different Familiar Foes. Note that you must be level 11 and have at least 70 of each stat in order to progress further than this point.
Heavy Door and Light Door
- Visit the Light Door to meet the guards
- Decipher the code
- Visit the Heavy Door and enter the code
You have to figure out which of the four direction brothers, North, South, East, and West, are lying, telling the truth, doing both, or craving human flesh. The one that goes "Graaaaaagh" all the time craves human flesh. The one that is telling the truth all the time will tell you the secret code, and you can ignore the other three after you figure out which one it is.
The best way to figure this out is to list what each of the guards says.
For example:
N - X 6 3 E - 7 4 1 S - 5 2 3 answer = 5 6 3
The Electrical Attack
Equip the huge mirror shard to deflect it.
- Go into battle fully healed and well armored.
- Heal yourself with healing items and/or spells. The Shadow starts out with approximately 93 HP. red pixel potions have proved to be the best, or Doc Galaktik's strongest elixir.
The Familiars
| To beat a | use a 20lb: |
|---|---|
| Barrrnacle | Angry Goat |
| Angry Goat | Mosquito |
| Mosquito | Sabre-Toothed Lime |
| Sabre-Toothed Lime | Levitating Potato |
| Levitating Potato | Barrrnacle |
Your familiar should be at level 20 to beat the enemy. That level can be reached by buffs and other additions, but it can't be any lower than 20.
The Naughty Sorceress
You'll then have to beat the Naughty Sorceress in each of her 3 forms, with no break in between.
Suggestions:
- WAND OF NAGAMAR MUST be equipped! - you can't beat her third form without it
- do NOT rely on buffs - they will be removed anyways
- do NOT raise your stats - she scales to match you and it just makes her tougher
- items which increase your damage (in whatever form you use) are helpful
- do NOT rely on bucklers - they will have no effect ex. Star buckler, hippo skin buckler...exe
- familiars which damage the enemy are helpful
- The strongest combat skills for Pastamancers and Disco Bandits are nerfed: use the second-strongest skill available. This may also be true for Saucerors.
Seal Clubber
- Hat: Wolf Mask
- Weapon: Wand of Nagamar
- Pants: Furry Pants
- Accessory: flaming talons
- Accessory: flaming talons
- Accessory: Enchanted Brass Knuckles
- Familiar: 25lb Ghost Pickle on a Stick. Or one that slows her down, like a 25lb Barrrnacle.
Strategy: The furry suit will lower your moxie and reduce the obscene amount of damage done to you when she hits. Hit her with lunging thrust smack skill and Wand of Nagamar. Star-throwing stars, photo-protoneutron torpedoes may prove helpful for 30-40 damage. Barbed-wire fence, plot holes slow her down and do her damage.
Turtle Tamer
- Hat: Chrome helmet turtle
- Weapon: Wand of Nagamar
- Pants: Penguin shorts
- Accessory: Enchanted brass knuckles
- Accessory: Hippo skin buckler
- Accessory: Flaming talons
- Familiar: Ghost Pickle on a Stick
Attack using Headbutt and Spectral Snapper. Use blue pixel potions if neccessary to recharge MP. I think when she steals your red pixel potion she is then able to use it to recharge her HPs.
Pastamancer
- Hat: Wolf Mask
- Weapon: Wand of Nagamar
- Pants: Furry Pants
- Accessory: Kickback Cookbook
- Accessory: Kickback Cookbook
- Accessory: Kickback Cookbook
- Familiar: 25lb Ghost Pickle on a Stick. Or one that slows her down, like a 25lb Barrrnacle.
Strategy: With this set-up, for level 11 she will do about 6 damage, not every turn. Your problem will be hitting her with your spells. Go to The League of Chef-Magi, visit Brie the trainer and buy Spirit of Rigatoni and Spirit of Ravioli. These skills will increase your HP 25% and make your chance of hitting her based on your mysticality (which is high) rather than your muscle (which is low). Also make sure you have the two low cost attack spells ("Minor Ray" and "Extreme Ray"). It is possible to beat both forms hammering only on Minor Ray with this set up, it will deal 40-50 damage when it hits.
Sauceror
- Hat: Wolf Mask
- Weapon: Wand of Nagamar
- Pants: Furry Pants
- Accessory: Ladle of Mystery (or Kickback Cookbook)
- Accessory: Ladle of Mystery (or Kickback Cookbook)
- Accessory: Ladle of Mystery (or Amulet of Extreme Plot Significance or Cookbook)
- Familiar: 25lb Ghost Pickle on a Stick. Or one that slows her down, like a 25lb Barrrnacle.
Strategy: Use low MP spells Chronic Indigestion, Stream of Sauce and Saucestorm. Kickback cookbooks DO stack with Saucerors. You might chance Wave of Sauce if you are going in with a lot of MP.
Accordian Thief
- Hat: Star Hat
- Weapon: Wand of Nagamar
- Pants: Hippopotamous Pants
- Accessory: Bejeweled Accordian Strap
- Accessory: Mr Accessory (or Sneaky Pete's Breathspray)
- Accessory: Mr Accessory (or Sneaky Pete's Breathspray)
- Familiar: 25lb Ghost Pickle on a Stick. Or one that does combat damage.
Strategy: Keep whacking the Moxious Maneuver button. Use star-throwing stars if you have them. For moxie class the way to beat the sorceress is to raise your Moxie and outpower here, as quickly as possible. A 25lb attack familiar may be essential to give you the edge.
Disco Bandit
No data here.
Strategy 1 - good armor & kick ass
Wear the Star Garb, use a fully leveled Ghost Pickle on a Stick, and hit her with your biggest damage spell you've got. Do that for the first 2 forms. If you have the Wand of Nagamar equipped, the third form is finished for you.
One other thing that might come in handy -- When she blocks your attacks, she tends to do so several times consecutively. Thus, if she blocks your biggest damage spell once, hit her with lesser damage (and lesser mana-using) spells until she stops blocking them, then switch back to the high-damage one.
Sauceror's best attack skill, Saucegeyser, now does less damage than other spells against the Sorceress (possible nerf after first day of Ascension when Saucerors beat her with one hit, with aide of kickback cookbooks). Use Wave of Sauce at the right moments (try after she rips her dress). Wear furry pants and wolf mask (furry outfit) to lower your moxie, and equip three ladles(+HP and MP).
Strategy 2 - lower moxie and take less damage
Use the Furry Suit (which lowers your Moxie significantly) and then go in there and keep launching spells. The Naughty Sorceress will have less moxie to defend against you and will do less damage when she hits you. She also may have fewer hit points.
This is also useful for Moxie classes, as you can simply make a bunch of Star Throwing Stars with 4 stars and 2 lines each, and these will hit for 40+ damage each time regardless of moxie. Brass knuckles also help.
Since items are more likely to work against the first form, it might be a good idea to heal up before killing her the first time.
Seal Clubbers and Unbalanced Stats
High-level Seal Clubbers and characters with very unbalanced stats seem to have a particularly difficult time with the Sorceress. Try equipping the Furry Suit, 3 Flaming talons (for extra damage), and a fully leveled Ghost Pickle on a Stick with a Skewer-mounted razor blade. Use the Lunging Thrust-Smack skill, or your strongest damage dealing skill. Another way is to just simply attack using the wand of n... and then having a ghost pickle on a stick which will do about 22 damage often to the nc, and drop acid on them. You can also use a acid-squirting flower which will deal her damage every time she damages you.
She's dead. Now what?
Once you DO reach the top and have freed the king, you don't have to ascend right away. You can finish your business in this life, and then enter the portal. When you do enter the portal, you will spend some time in Valhalla and then choose your ascension path.
