Races of the Kingdom

Races of the Kingdom of Loathing

This section will list all species and subdivisions of those species encountered in the game, as well as their respective cultures and the real or fictional beings that inspired them.

• 7-Foot Dwarves: The 7-Foot Dwarves inhabit the Itznotyerzitz Mine, where they moil for meat, chrome, asbestos, and linoleum night and day under the supervision of the 7-Foot Dwarf Foremen. Wielding sharp, nasty, pointy mattocks, they are prepared to defend what is theirs. The Foremen live in a gorge near the Mine, where they relax and have cookouts on their Gorge Foreman Grills when not exerting power over their 7-foot brethren. They are inspired by the countless species of smaller Dwarves that live throughout the various fantasy stories of the world.
• 8-Bit Beings: Dwelling in the astral 8-Bit Realm, a link between the Kingdom and the world of mythical Designers, live these creatures. They mostly keep to themselves, but will ferociously attack adventurers who invade their home to steal their precious Pixels.
• Bats/Rats/Cats: The Bats, Rats, and Cats of the kingdom hide in various corners of the world, waiting to strike out at adventures. Some inbred variants of the awful monstrosities have become the fearsome Batrats and Ratbats. Their leader is unknown, but it may be the nefarious Baron von Ratsworth.
• Bears: There are many types of bear in the Kingdom; the Bars of the Spooky Woods, the Bugbears of Degrassi Knoll, and the Bugbars that now seem extinct due to general bug-hunting.
• Beasts with n xs (where n is a number and x is a body part): These hideous mockeries of life may be found within the mage Fernswarthy's basement. How they came to be there, nobody knows, but we do know that they are fearsome and relentless, and will stop at nothing to devour the adventurers who stray into their lairs.
• Constellations: The living constellations of the Kingdom dwell in the Hole in the Sky, twinkling merrily in a suggestive sort of way. They give light and hope to the astronomers of the Kingdom, and lay the smack down on Adventurers who come too near.
• Demons/Imps: The minions of Satan inhabit the nefarious realm of Hey Deze, but occasionally travel to the surface through the rift that the Deep Fat Friars accidentally forged. Hellions, Demoninjas, and Imps alike show their evil nature to Adventurers who wander too close to the Deep Fat Friars' Gate.
• Giants: The Giants live away from the Kingdom in the Castle in the Clouds in the Sky. They have a strong dislike for Adventurers but have much tolerance for the oddities within their own race (after all, they allow the Goth Giants and Furry Giants to live, don't they?)
• Gnolls: This race of Knob-Goblin-like creatures inhabits Degrassi Knoll, and is led by the Mayor Zapruder. They enjoy building machines, growing mushrooms, taming Bugbears to be guards and pets, and baking.
• Gnomes: These short little nomadic creatures wander the desert, making camps and then building small, temporary villages. They are the only race known to have mastered the craft of clockwork.
• Goats: These creatures live in the Goatlet, where the ferocious Saber-Toothed Goats defend the lesser species from intruders.
• Golems and Elementals: There are hundreds of thousands of these creatures scattered throughout the Kingdom: the BASIC Elemental, the Meat Golem, the Bread Golem, the Chowder Golem, the Dairy Ooze, the Flame-Broiled Meat Blob, the Fruit Golem, the Hockey Elemental, Lumpy the Sinister Sauceblob, and hundreds more besides. They may be the second-most-heavily-populated race in the Kingdom--second only to the humans and humanoids.
• Gravy Fairies: These peaceful little creatures make enchanted gravy, which is then stolen from them by adventurers in the Haiku Dungeon. The only race which is not peaceful is the Spooky Gravy Fairy, led by the nefarious Queen Felonia.
• Humans/Humanoids/Hideous Parodies of Humanity: Easily bearing the most types of races in the Kingdom, they are the Pirates and the Crazy Bastards and the Lumberjacks and every other race of humans. Of course, in the "Hideous Parodies" category go the lesser, more grotesque races: the Clowns of the "Fun" House, the Mariachis, and of course the Hippies.
• Inanimate Objects (which happen to be animated in the Kingdom)
• Insects/Insectoids
• Mechanical Beings/Mechanoids/Cyborgs
• Mutants
• Ninja Snowmen
• Knob Goblins
• Knottish Wildlife
• Orcs/Half-Orcs
• Plants
• Sea Creatures
• Snakes
• Spirits/Ghosts
• Symbols
• Trolls
• Undead
• Vampires
• Werewolves/Wolves/Wolfoids