Sabre-toothed goat
He gores you with his sharp horns and his sabre-teeth simultaneously. It's like being attacked by some minotaur-vampire hybrid. Oof! Ugh! Ouch! Ow! Oof!
He gnashes his sabre teeth at you and butts you in the head. And heads you in the butt. Ow! Ooh! Ow!
He does a little sabre-dance, goathandling you with his sharp hooves. Ugh! Ooh! Ugh! Ow! Ow!
He tries to bite you with his sabre teeth, but gets his lower lip instead.
He tries to gore you with his horns, but gets a tooth trapped in the ground and trips. He should really be careful of those trip-traps.
He gnashes his sabre teeth at you. You give him a toothbrush and some toothpaste, which you didn't know you had and is now gone.
He tries to sabre-dance on you, but it's hard to dance on one's teeth.
 | You gain 44−71 Meat (average: 55.7, stdev: 5.0)* |
 | You acquire 2.9% chance goat beards |
 | You acquire 4.9% chance sets of sabre teeth |
You gain 13 <substat>.
Occurs in The Goatlet.
References
- The bit about "tomato juice" is probably a reference to the lyrics of "I've Got a Fang", by They Might Be Giants: "Glistening white triangular tooth / Open up a can of tomato juice"
- The reference to "visit the theatre" and "see a spectre" is probably a complaint about differences between American English (saber, specter, theater) and international English (sabre, spectre, theatre).
- The bit about the "toothbrush and some toothpaste" may be a reference to "My Father's Dragon" in which the main character gives a rhino a toothbrush and toothpaste to avoid being gored.
- "Trip-trap" is a reference to the traditional fairy tale Three Billy Goats Gruff, in which the bridge makes the sound "trip-trap" as the goats' hooves cross it.
