Smut orc screwer

This smut orc affixes pieces of wood together with screws and a screwdriver, and a screwdriver to drink while he works.

Smut orc screwer
Monster ID	1233
Locations	The Smut Orc Logging Camp
Hit Points	69
Attack	69
Defense	69
No-Hit	79
Initiative	50
Meat	28-42
Phylum	orc
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, arm, leg, torso
Drops	backwoods screwdriver, screwing pooch, hardening cream
Quest	long hard screw, messy butt joint, morningwood plank, raging hardwood plank, thick caulk, weirdwood plank
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a smut orc screwer

Hit Message(s):

not known

Critical Hit Message:

He puts his screwdriver tip into your belly button and unscrews it until your butt falls off. It's hilarious to anyone watching, but pretty painful for you. Ugh! Ooh! Argh!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to stab you in the <foot> with his phillips tip, but you tell him your <foot> uses a 3.5mm Allen wrench or nothing.

He tries to put the screws to you, but is such a screwball that he screws it up.

He tries to drive a three-inch screw into your <foot>, but you laugh at how short it is.

He tries to stab you with the standard tip on his screwdriver, but you tell him your <foot> only takes phillips.

Fumble Message:

He forgets which way is tighty and which way is loosey, and tries to unscrew a screw into your face, with little success. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You gain some Meat

You acquire an item: backwoods screwdriver (? chance)*

You acquire an item: long hard screw (? chance)*

You acquire an item: messy butt joint (? chance)*

You acquire an item: morningwood plank (? chance)*

You acquire an item: screwing pooch (? chance)*

You acquire an item: thick caulk (? chance)*

You gain ? <substat>.