A Guy in the Bushes

• First visit:

You stroll up to the man crouched in the bushes. "Hello?"

"Zut alors!" he cries out, "I am discovaired! Do not expect me to conform to le stéréotype of my countrymen, fiend! I shall fight until ze drawing of my final breath!" He tilts his beret to a jauntier angle, and puts up his fists.

"Settle down, Jacques. I'm with the good guys."

"Ah! You are le fellow Turtle Tamer! Forgive me, mon ami, in my panic I did not realize!" He grabs your hand and pumps it up and down enthusiastically. "Permit me to introduce myself! I am Jean-François Léotard -- undoubtedly you have heard of me, non?"

"Um... no."

"Non? Never heard of Jean-François et ses Tortues Acrobatiques Fantastiques?"

"...No."

"Ah, mon ami, you have, how they say, 'missed out'! My finely-trained acrobatic turtles are taking the entertainment world by storm!"

"That's nice. So what are you doing here?"

"I have heard the tales, non? Of ze harlot Stella and her terrible activities! I may be a mere entertainer, but mon coeur, it beats with the blood of a warrior! I have declared this woman to be my Nemesis, and I shall put a stop to her terrible ways!"

"Your Nemesis, huh? I've got some bad news for you, Jean -- the Guild has officially declared Stella to be my Nemesis."

"Yours?! But... but..." he stutters to a halt, beret askew.

"Yup. Guess you missed that guild meeting too, eh?"

"C'est terrible! That the great Jean-François Léotard has sunk so low as to become a mere... expositior!"

"That's about the long and short of it, yeah. Sorry."

Jean-François sighs dejectedly, then shakes his head, visibly pulling himself together. "It is no matter. What is important is that this woman be brought to justice for her terrible crimes. Mon ami, I will give as much aid to you as I can."

"Great!"

"Malheureusement, that is not very much."

"...Oh. And, er, gesundheit."

"You see, I have learned that Stella's fortress is quite impregnable. And what is more, the compound is patrolled by vicious, bloodthirsty attack-turtles."

"Attack turtles?"

"Oui! With her terrible, malicious training regime, she has transformed the gentle tortoise into a veritable killing machine! And here is my greatest failure: I was blinded by my pride in the Tortues Acrobatiques Fantastiques, and sent them into the compound for infiltration. I believed that they would ingratiate themselves with Stella's turtles and divine her secrets for me. But alas, her powers are too great. Somehow, she has broken the training of my hard-shelled friends, and turned them to her side!"

"That is so not cool."

"But now, now you are here, eh? Come to stop my... your Nemesis. And a solution, it presents itself to me!" He hands you a small leather bullwhip. "Take this, mon ami. This is the whip I used to train the Tortues Acrobatiques Fantastiques, and it is my belief that, even in their current state of brainwashedness, they will recognize it. If you can bring them to their senses, perhaps they will be able to assist you further."

"That sounds... well, pretty ridiculous, actually. But no more so than other things I've done lately. How will I know them from Stella's turtles?" you ask.

"They are wearing the petits chapeaux, mon ami! Like mine," he says, gesturing proudly at his beret. "They are très adorable!"

"...Right. Well, okay then."

"Bonne chance, mon ami!"

You acquire an item: fouet de tortue-dressage

• Before rescuing any turtles:

Jean peeks out of his shrubbery. "Bonjour, mon ami! Have you had any success in returning my hard-shelled friends back to their senses?"

"Not as such, no. I thought I'd, you know, check out the lay of the land, and so on..."

"Time is of the essence! Without the aid of mes belles tortues, it will not be possible to infiltrate Stella's fortress!"

"Right, right. So I just look for the ones with the funny hats and crack this whip at them? No problem."

• After rescuing a single turtle:

You find Jean sitting in the bushes, feeding some lettuce to the turtle you un-brainwashed. It glances at you and sniffs snootily. "Bravo, mon ami!", Jean exclaims. "It seems that Stella's hold upon les Tortues Acrobatiques Fantastiques is not as strong as she might have hoped, no? Now if you can but rescue the remainder of them, we will be, as you say, "in business"."

• After rescuing 2-5 turtles:

Back at the bushes, you find Jean watching as some of his turtles create a small pyramid. The one on top slowly rears up on its hind legs, and Jean applauds enthusiastically. "Merveilleux! See, mon ami, that terrible woman's influence shall not break us! Soon, les Tortues Acrobatiques Fantastiques will be stars once more!"

"That's swell, Jean. How many more are out there?"

"Just X more, mon ami, and then we will be ready for a performance that Stella will not forget!"

• After rescuing six turtles:

Jean cheers enthusiastically as his turtles stand in a four-tier pyramid, the uppermost one balancing on one foreleg and waving a little flag in its mouth. "Success! All of les Tortues Acrobatiques Fantastiques have returned!" He grabs your hand and pumps it up and down enthusiastically, then kisses you on both cheeks. "Now, mon ami, are you ready for some infiltration?"

"As ready as I'll ever be, I suppose."

"Then feast your eyes as my little friends defeat the defenses of this terrible poaching woman!"

Jean raises his arms and whistles elaborately. The turtles slowly climb down from their pyramid and march single-file into the compound and up to the stone wall of the fortification, then climb up on each others' backs, standing on their hind legs to form a slightly wobbly pillar of turtles leaning against the wall. The topmost turtle looks up at the top of the wall, a good six feet above, and narrows its eyes. It sinks into a low crouch, then springs.

Incredibly, it performs an effortless back-flip over the wall. Perhaps Jean really has got something with these Tortues Acrobatiques Fantastiques after all.

After a moment, you hear a *kachunk* sound, and the gate to the inner compound swings open. The turtle saunters out, looking rather pleased with itself.

• Before defeating Stella:

You head back to where Jean is camped out in the bushes, and watch his turtles practice their backflips for a while. You give <familiar name> a sideways glance and tap your chin thoughtfully, then shrug and return to the issue at hand -- you've got more important things to be thinking about right now.

• After defeating Stella:

You return to the bushes where Jean-François was hiding, but it looks like he and les Tortues Acrobatiques Fantastiques have skedaddled. You do see a lot of Stella's guard turtles milling around in the compound, looking confused, though.

References

• This is a reference to Jules Léotard, a French acrobatic performer who invented the flying trapeze. He also popularized the one-piece gym wear that now bears his name.
• This may or may not also be a reference to Jean-François Lyotard - the French philosopher famous for coining the term "postmodern".
• The line "Do not expect me to conform to le stéréotype of my countrymen, fiend! I shall fight until ze drawing of my final breath!" is a reference to the joke that French people always surrender because France surrendered to Germany during WWII.

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Occurs at Secret Tropical Island Volcano Lair (Turtle Tamer)