Interview With You/Masquerade/Ventrilo
As a Torremolinos
You approach the Ventrilo representative, an exceedingly dreary gray-suited man called Smith. "What ho, Smith," you call out cheerfully. "How's the world of high finance treating you these days?"
"Quite well, thank you," he says stiffly. "And I'll have you know that I'm making inroads with the local government as well."
You pretend to be impressed, though it's well-known that the great majority of city officials, up to and including some of the Council itself, could be had for the amount of currency you find beneath the cushions of your chaise longue. You've never bothered, because you can't think of anything more boring. "My goodness! Tempted a few bureaucrats, have we?"
"Building inspectors and members of the zoning board, primarily," he says. "My firm will be up for some prime contracts once the current occupants of the land are removed."
"Going to put up some big rectangular office-towers, are you? I always say nothing brightens the view like a giant concrete brick."
"At least I'm working for my money," he hisses, his bare jealousy hanging out for all to see, poor man. "Some of us didn't have the luxury of money just falling into our laps. I've fought tooth and claw to get to where I am today!"
"And well done, too!" you say, brightly. "It's such a delightful and exciting place where you are, after all. Now, about this election thing..."
Smith has the audacity to laugh in your face. "You expect me to vote for a shiftless layabout like you? The vampires in this city are running wild, threatening our careful work and secrecy! My own doorman was found drained last week, with bits of his coat stuffed in his mouth." He jabs you in the collarbone with his forefinger. "Right on my own doorstep! It could have led directly to me! That's the sort of behavior that's going to destroy us, and what, as Prince, do you intend to do about it, other than sitting on velvet couches drinking brandy out of friggin' fishbowls?"
- Before talking to the Malkovich representative:
You roll your eyes. "Goodness me, I don't know. I guess I could work very hard to climb the corporate ladder, and then bribe a minor city bureaucrat to let me build an office tower tall enough to allow me to look down on everyone else. Then I could pretend that I'm a big important man, and they're all merely ants. Would that help?"
Smith looks like he's just fanged the world's bitterest lemon. "You. Make. Me. Sick." he says, trembling with barely-restrained fury.
"Mission accomplished, old boy. Mission bloody well accomplished." You give him a friendly wave as you stroll back to the center of the room.
- After talking to the Malkovich representative:
You pat Smith gently on the shoulder. "My, my. Smith, you've gone quite red in the face; do try to calm down. I'll tell you what I'll do. See that little man over there, in the filthy raincoat? The one eating moths? Well, as it happens, I've already heard about your doorman, and yes, it was quite a ghastly affront. My own extensive network of agents and informers have been tracking the killer since the horrific event occurred, and that little man happens to be the culprit. Right under our noses, can you imagine?"
Smith does quite an amusing impression of a gaping fish. "It... it was Crawly? That bastard!"
"My gift to you. Perhaps I'm not as much of a shiftless layabout as you thought, eh? Ciao!"
You stroll back to the center of the room, with a very satisfied grin.
As a Brouhaha
You approach the Ventrilo representative, a gray three-piece suit whom you know only as 'Smith'. "Hey, Smith," you say, and he looks up from his smartphone with an irritated glare.
"That's Mister Smith to you, Brouhaha. I suppose you're interrupting me while I check my stock portfolio because you want to wheedle a vote out of me?"
"Well, yeah, I..."
"Well, forget it. I know it was one of you bastards that smashed up my brand-new Lexus, and if you think I'm going to vote for you, you've got another think coming."
- Before talking to the Brouhaha representative:
"Bah," you sneer. "You stuffed shirts are all the same. I wish I'd smashed your wheels myself."
"Prepare to add 'Wasn't Elected Prince' to your long list of failures, peon!" he calls to you as you stomp away.
- After talking to the Brouhaha representative:
You glance around, and lean in close to Smith's ear so that nobody can over hear you. "Listen, let me ask you something. Let's say, hypothetically, that I knew who wrecked your ride. And let's say, hypothetically, that I told you it was Crank. Now, I'm not saying it was, and even if it turned out to be true, you wouldn't have heard it from me. But, hypothetically, how would that affect your vote?"
Smith looks surprised. "I suppose -- hypothetically -- I would be forced to admit the possibility that I'd underestimated your intelligence," he replies.
You grin to yourself as you walk back to the center of the room.
As a Malkovich
You approach the Ventrilo representative, a serious man in a serious suit with a serious phone and a serious name: Smith. He immediately holds up a hand to stop you as you approach.
"Hold it right there," he says. "I'm sure you think this is funny and all, but politics is not a game. If you think you've got what it takes to be Prince, then you're even crazier than I thought."
"I knew a man," you reply. "Knew a man named Smith. Man who didn't know how to have fun. Man can't see any colors but gray and green."
Smith rolls his eyes. "Fun. Like I said -- it's just a joke to you. What makes you think you should have the job? Look, I'm an important man. I've got half the cops and judges in this town on my payroll, and I get I want."
"What's a gray and green-eyed man want?"
"Women. Cars. Got some gutter-punk put away for life because I didn't like the way he looked at me, the other day. Doesn't matter. The point is, I've got power. What have you got, you lunatic?"
- Before talking to the Torremolinos representative:
You flap your sleeves at him. "I got a nice new coat, and I knew a man who couldn't have it no matter how many moneys he offered."
"This conversation is over," Smith says, and he turns around and resolutely ignores you until you go back to the center of the room.
- After talking to the Torremolinos representative:
You hold up a cream-colored envelope. "I've got an invitation to see the Magistrate's ball. I bet you don't have that, gray and green-eyed man. I bet you didn't even know he only had the one."
Smith stares at you. "Magistrate Waldorf's ball? But that's... that's the most exclusive party of the year! How the hell did a creep like you get invited, when I... I..."
"I knew a lady," you grin. "And now I knew a man. Man who sees in gray and green and maybe wants to make a trade?" You hold out the envelope. Smith stares at you.
"...Fine. Okay, fine, sure," he says, snatching the envelope from you. "I suppose you're better-connected than I thought. Networking's nine-tenth's of politics, maybe you'll even pull it off."
"Have fun with the Magistrate's ball," you say as you wander back to the center of the room. "Look, but don't touch."
As a Ventrilo
You approach the Ventrilo representative, a respectable businessman named Smith. He looks up from his smartphone and nods amicably. "<name>."
"Smith. How are things in your neck of the woods?"
"Can't complain. Stock portfolio is up. Got some new bureaucrats from the city zoning board on my payroll. Nearly ran over a bum in my new Lexus last night. Got new business cards printed."
"Oh yeah? Let's have a look."
He pulls a slim silver case from his blazer pocket, snaps it open, and withdraws a small white rectangle, which he hands to you.
"Not bad, Smith. Not bad at all. Tasteful eggshell coloring... High-quality linen cardstock... 100 pound?"
"110."
"And letterpress, too."
"You know it."
"Very nice." You hand the card back to him. "Smith, let's get down to brass tacks. I'm running for Prince. I want your vote."
He nods. "All right. I still owe you for your help with the Reubenstein contract. I'm in."
"Glad to hear it." The two of you shake hands, and you stride back to the center of the room.
| "Speak to the Malkovich representative." |
| "Speak to the Torremolinos representative." |
| "Speak to the Brouhaha representative." |
Occurs after the Nomination.
Notes
- Once you talk to a representative, you will not be able to talk to them again, and the option will be removed.
- Once you talk to all 4, you will find out the results of your nomination.
