Raising Cane
You stealthily swim down one of the halls trying to avoid the hall monitors. Fortunately, it looks like all the monitors are taking a break -- they must have a high refresh rate.
Unfortunately, there's a Mer-kin punisher swimming towards you, brandishing a cane and babbling about pudding and meat.
You look for an escape and see one, in the form of the teacher's lounge. You're risking detention going in there, but you're risking contusions if you stay out here. What'll you do?
| Rage against the Mer-kin Punisher |
The Mer-kin punisher smiles grimly as he approaches. "So, if it isn't the famous %adventurername," he says. "Well, you're about to find out that, as much as you'd like to pretend otherwise, you're not above the rules. You may think you run the school, you and your little friends, but I'm going to make chum out of you. Get it? Friends? Chum? Aw, heck, let's just skip to the beating."
Mer-kin punisher  -- (edit metadata)
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| Lounge against the Mer-kin Teachers |
With a Mer-kin bunwig in inventory:
You sneak into the teacher's lounge. You see one of the Mer-kin punishers cleaning his glasses. You quickly grab a Mer-kin bunwig from your sack and slap it on top of your head. He looks up as you approach.
"Ah, there you are, Miss Crabclaws," he says. You realize he can't tell you're not a teacher, and nod curtly. "Your student aide finished making your mimeographs," he says, motioning to an ancient, purple-inked monstrosity of a machine.
You cautiously approach the machine, careful to not make any sudden movements, and see a stack of fresh wordquizzes sitting on it. You quickly grab a few and run out before the punisher puts his glasses back on.
 | You acquire 3 Mer-kin wordquizzes |
Without a Mer-kin bunwig:
You sneak into the Lounge. There's only one teacher inside, and she's either sound asleep or passed-out drunk (and given what you've seen of the students, you can't blame her either way). You see a sheet of paper sticking out of her purse, and snag it before sneaking out again.
| You acquire an item: Mer-kin wordquiz |
If you do not already have a Mer-kin facecowl:
On your way out, you notice a hood sticking out of the top of a trash can in the hallway. Score!
 | You acquire an item: Mer-kin facecowl |
If you do not already have a Mer-kin waistrope:
On your way out, you see the end of a piece of rope peeking out from underneath a closed door. You grab it and run!
 | You acquire an item: Mer-kin waistrope |
Occurs at Mer-kin Elementary School
Notes
- The Mer-kin facecowl and the Mer-kin waistrope don't drop if you already have the respective piece of the Mer-kin Scholar's Vestments in your inventory.
References
- Pudding and meat are references to Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall, Pt. 2".
- Rage against the Mer-kin Punisher is likely a reference to the band Rage Against the Machine
- Lounge against the Mer-kin Teachers may be a reference to Richard Cheese and Lounge Against the Machine
- Although the machine is called a mimeograph, the purple ink suggests it is really a spirit duplicator.
