Seal-clubbing club
From A KoL Wiki
This is a club used to club seals. You could probably club other things with it, too. Just make sure to regularly seal your seal-clubbing club with seal-clubbing club seal.
(Meat Pasting component)
(Meatsmithing component)
Type: weapon (1-handed club)
Damage: 1 - 2
Selling Price: 1 Meat.
(In-game plural: seal-clubbing clubs)
Obtained From
- The Spooky Forest
- A Three-Tined Fork
- Familiars
- Baby Bugged Bugbear
- Items
- Chewing gum on a string (sometimes)
- Deck of Every Card
- Draw a Card (X of Clubs)
- Skills
- Calculate the Universe (with a final result of 1)
- Other
- Starting/Ascending as a Seal Clubber
- Obsoleted Areas/Methods
- The Sewer
- Fishing Around in the Sewer
- Sewer Luck! (with ten-leaf clover)
- Miscellaneous
- The Curious Monkey
Uses
Messages
You pretend that <it>'s a seal, and club the crap out of <it> for X damage. KERBLAM! ZOT! ZOT!
You pretend <it>'s a Christmas Seal, and festively club them for X damage. WHAM! SPLAT! BARF!
You use your seal-clubbing club to usher <it> into the exclusive "I Just Took X Damage" club. ZAP! KERBLAM! BIFF!
You realize you're never gonna survive unless you get a little crazy, so you crazily bash <it> with your seal-clubbing club for X damage. BAM! WHAMMO! BOOF!
You compare <it> to a kiss from a rose on the grey. Then you introduce <it> to a kiss from your club on <its> face (for X damage). ZAP! BARF! POW!
Notes
- This was the very first item.
- On April 29, 2005, the Giant Trash Quest was accidentally rolled out, and temporarily awarded a seal-clubbing club instead of a giant discarded plastic fork.
- On January 20, 2006, a half-finished page was found which allowed you to trade 1,000 items in exchange for a banana. However, as the banana item was not coded at the time, the page instead reverted to giving item #1, the seal-clubbing club. Xenophobe subsequently removed the page in question.
References
- The image used is the sturdy fallen branch from Krakrox the Barbarian.
- Some of the hit messages reference lyrics from songs by Seal: "Crazy" and "Kiss From A Rose".
Zapping
![]() |
disco ball | disco mask | helmet turtle | mariachi pants | pasta spoon | ravioli hat | saucepan | seal-skull helmet | seal-clubbing club | stolen accordion | turtle totem |
---|
Collection
- 🥇: Raullen (#289100) - 1,439,128
- 🥈: IcLubYou (#346896) - 231,593
- 🥉: efilnikufecin (#601149) - 128,935
- #4: TehClubWhore (#651777) - 126,247
- #5: DonPablo (#3061994) - 123,123
- #6: Pastahead (#486552) - 103,213
- #7: Icon315 (#1959735) - 89,735
- #8: Mr Mart (#876878) - 80,639
- #9: hagrid333 (#191797) - 74,838
- #10: Mistress of the Obvious (#845708) - 55,400
Powered by Museum 🏛️ (see more)