Somerset Lopez, Dread Mariachi (The Nemesis' Lair)
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| Somerset Lopez, Dread Mariachi | |
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| Monster ID | 877 |
| Locations | The Nemesis' Lair (Accordion Thief) |
| Hit Points | 220 |
| Attack | 170 |
| Defense | 153 |
| No-Hit | 180 |
| Initiative | 80 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | ? |
| Monster Parts | head, arm, leg, torso |
| Drops | Lederhosen of the Night |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting Somerset Lopez, Dread MariachiAs the last of Somerset Lopez's goons hits the ground, you hear a short series of deep musical notes followed by a sharp ¡kerpow! as Lopez tunes his guitarrón. Eyes narrowed, you poke at the smoking hole in your hat, and turn to fix Lopez with a cold glare.
The mariachi shrugs and grins at you, the light from the chandelier sparkling off his teeth. He leans the guitarrón against the balcony railing, and removes his smoking jacket, revealing the black, silver-spangled charro suit underneath.
"So," he says as he fluffs out his white lace cravat and picks his guitarrón back up, "now it truly is down to you and me, ladrón del acordión."
"That's right, Lopez," you growl. "Your crimes have caught up with you, and it's finally time for you to pay the piper."
"I do not employ a piper. I do have un jugador de trompeta, were you thinking of him?"
"I was speaking metaphorically. Look, are you going to come down here so I can kick your ass, or what?"
"As you wish, gringo!" He leaps nimbly onto the banister of the great curved stairway, and you dive frantically out of the way as he slides down the railing, laughing and spraying the foyer with bullets. When he reaches the end of the banister, he hops down and plays a dramatic bass chord, then holds his hand in the air. A small crowd of mariachis have gathered at the upper balcony to watch, and they cheer excitedly. One of them throws down handfuls of rose petals, from a bucket.
"Lopez, I hate you so much," you mutter, picking yourself up off the ground.
Hit Message(s):
"Dance, gringo, dance!" Lopez laughs merrily as he sprays bullets at your feet. You aren't that great a dancer, it turns out. Oof! Ugh! Ooh! Eek!
He clocks you in the head with his guitarrón, then pauses to adjust the tuning knobs. Ugh! Ugh! Ouch! Ugh!
Lopez playes a dramatic guitar riff, and you end up with several bullets in your <shoulder>. Eek! Ow! Argh! Ugh!
One of the mariachis watching from the balcony throws a knife at you, neatly skewering you in the face. Lopez gives the goon a stern lecture about interrupting a climactic fight scene, which makes you feel a little better, but not much. Ugh! Ugh! Ooh!
"By the way," you say, "I see you got a new sombrero. It's pretty nice."
"Gracias," Lopez replies, as he sprays you with bullets. Ooh! Ooh! Ugh! Argh! Eek!
"Dance, gringo, dance!" Lopez laughs merrily as he sprays bullets at your feet. Good thing you took that class from Arthur Murray.
He starts to clock you in the head with his guitarrón, but the desire to not put it out of tune stays his hand.
Lopez plays a dramatic riff on his guitar, but you're too busy dodging bullets to really appreciate it.
One of the mariachis watching from the balcony throws a dagger at you, and you dodge just in the nick of time. "No help from the audience, por favor," Lopez admonishes, waving a stern finger at the guy, who has the decency to look embarrassed.
Lopez fiddles with the neck of his guitarrón for a moment. Apparently the strings kind of get in the way of reloading. (FUMBLE!)
Victory text:
Somerset Lopez staggers back, clutching his wounds and panting. "You may think you've won, ladrón del acordión, but I am not finished yet. Soon, you will see my true power, and the struggle of the noble mariachi against you filthy burglars will finally be at an end!"
"You've got that backwards, Lopez -- it's the noble burglars against the filthy mariachis!"
Lopez sneers. "Oh, muy witty. 'I know you are, but what am I?' Your banter is as hopeless as your cause!"
"Your... your face is as hopeless as my... um..."
Fortunately, Lopez has already retreated deeper into his mansion, so you don't have to come up with an end to that comeback. As you follow him, you take a quick peek into some of the adjoining rooms, hoping to find some treasure while you're here. | You acquire an item: Lederhosen of the Night (100% chance)* |
Occurs at The Hacienda.
Notes
- Occurs after defeating three to six(?) mariachi bruisers.
- Lopez calls you gringo regardless of gender.
- This monster cannot be copied.
