The Crimbo Cafe

The Crimbo Cafe

The Crimbo Cafe is a fixture of the Crimbo holiday season. It is usually present for the duration of the holiday, for those holidays where it is out of business this is usually explained by the Crimbo elves. Until 2013 it operated using the cafe store interface where purchased items are immediately consumed. From 2014 onwards the cafes became normal stores allowing the food and drink to be stored and traded.

Cafe History

• 2024, Crimbo Cafe and Crimbo Bar sold themed holiday food and drink from around the holiday islands.
• 2023, For the first time the cafe was split into two locations selling food and drink separately. During the invasion of Crimbo the Crimbucaneers and Elf Guard forces fought for control over these establishments, intermittently changing control and being destroyed by the fighting. The food establishment switching between Crimbuccaneer Grub Hall, Elf Guard Mess Hall, or A Cafe Divided when fighting reduced it to rubble. Similarly the bar switched between Crimbuccaneer Bar and Elf Guard Officers' Club, and The Bar At War when destroyed.
• 2022, the cafe was closed while the elves rode the new train.
• 2021, with the cheer generator broken down the cafe served simple fare.
• 2020, with Abuela settling into her role this was a normal Crimbo but cafe items still had a Mexican flavour mixed with Crimbo.
• 2019, this was Abuela's first Crimbo in charge and Tammy was busy chasing Dolphin toy-thieves so the cafe items were a mix of Mexican and seafood.
• 2018, Crimbo town was being rebuilt and the cafe was unstaffed initially, once the cafe elf was located the refreshments were simple owing to the lack of supplies and prep time.
• 2017, Cheer-o-Vend 3000 dispensed food and drink in exchange for crystalline cheer, this vending machine continues to be accessible to holders of cheer.
• 2016, Crimbo Lumps Shop formed food and drink from lumps gathered during the cleansing of Uncle Crimbo's shakras.
• 2015, During this Crimbo season materialism had been defeated and the Cafe was out of business. The elves would provide some food and drink at their The Crimbo Elf Commune in exchange for the adventurer's help, as would the reindeer in their Reindeer Commune.
• 2014, Crimbo automation was in full swing, but with no external threat the cafe was no longer deemed necessary to operations. The elves were attempting to create suitable meals for the robots in the factory; but had not created anything edible in time for Crimbo, so nothing was on sale.
• 2013, this was the final year the cafe operated using the cafe mechanic (items are consumed on purchase). Uncle Crimbo had replaced the elves with robots; GORM-8, Food Preparation Robot had taken over the cafe and was providing meals to adventurers exploring the WarBear fortress.
• 2012, Uncle Crimbo hired animelfs to help out at Crimbo, they ended up running the cafe when the Crimbo elves left after an argument. The animelfs cooked Japanese inspired Crimbo fare, some of the food was so mecha inspired it contained a lot of toy parts.
• 2011, this year there was a candy shortage after Uncle Crimbo lost a series of wagers to Big Candy. The cafe was forced to cook healthy food using vegetables for a change.
• 2010, CRIMBCO provided refreshments for their office workers at the CRIMBCO Cafeteria.
• 2009, with the penguin mafia in control of Crimbo the cafe was forced to serve meals using pasta and fish, the preferred Italian fare of the penguins.
• 2008, Grimacite radiation blanketed all of Crimbo and even the cafe fare was irradiated.
• 2007, the Crimborg landed and assimiliated Crimbo including the cafe kitchen, leaving it only able to serve cyborg foods.
• 2006, Adventurers visited Crimbo in different time periods finding a cafe in each. Place For Eating, The Crimboween Spooky Cafe, Crimborg Nutrition Station.
• 2005, the very first Crimbo town included the first Crimbo Cafe. The elves created traditional Crimbo fare using candy which resulted in adventurers receiving a Sugar Rush from dining at the cafe.