User:Duck and Cover

Very nice to meet you. My name is Duck, and this is Cover. Duck AND Cover.

Before anything, I would like to make it clear that my name is NOT Duck and Cover. That's a mistake people unfortunately make A LOT and I should clear that I WILL NOT TOLERATE BEING CALLED THAT WAY (see, all caps). My name is only Duck, and anyone who adresses me in any other way will not be answered (or will have the crap beaten out of him). The Naughty Sorceress called me Duck and Cover, and look what happened to her.

Cover is the name of my best friend, my loyal Helmet Turtle. Cover was once a Chrome Helmet Turtle, but was reborn with me, turning into a regular Helmet Turtle again. I'm kinda happy about that. In fact, that's a little weird, because Chrome Cover is at Hagnk's Mostly-Burned-Down Ancestral Mini-Storage, and Reborn Cover is with me. I don't take Chrome Cover from the Storage because I can't use him now, but I immagine what would happen to them if I did. Maybe one of them would vanish in a puff of metaphysics or something. Creepy.

Information

• Sign: Mongoose
• Path: Oxygenarian
• Account Number: 696584
• Currently: Hardcore

My Familiars

• Leehc, the Ghuol Whelp
• Wylson, the Blood-Faced Volleyball
• Skeeter, the Mosquito
• Tomato, the Baby Gravy Fairy
• Cream Cheese, the Angry Goat
• Howlnuman, the Howling Balloon Monkey
• That Which Moves Rolling, the Pet Rock
• Mr. Owl, the Snowy Owl
• J. Sparrrow, the Spooky Pirate Skeleton
• Yoshi, the Cocoabo
• Monkey, the Star Starfish
• Twmub (The World's Most Uncolorful Blur), the Grue
• D20, the Fuzzy Dice
• Cuerno De La Pierna, the Hovering Sombrero
• Elephant Bishop, the Killer Bee
• Troberrrt, the Barrrnacle
• Metal Gear, the Sabre-Toothed Lime
• Confuso, the Stab Bat
• Potatamoto, the Levitating Potato
• Cold Tomato, the Frozen Gravy Fairy
• Teddy Weddy, the Evil Teddy Bear
• That Which Moves Shoving Its Tooth (In The Ground - implied-), the Toothsome Rock

My Tattoos

• Because I never go out without my Turtle.
• Because the Naughty Sorceress called me Duck and Cover. Bitch.
• Because the Sorceress is not that smart. BTW, I kicked her ass at Crimboween's eve! How cool is that?
• Because the 8-Bit items seemed the most powerful at the time.
• Because we all were lvl. 4 someday.
• Because I feel cold too.
• Because I like to say "Piece and Love".
• Because I was really pissed with the Naughty Sorceress because she called me Duck and Cover, so I thought this would scare her out. (in fact, I recently found out I operate better without wearing a costume with a zipper in my crotch, so I'm dropping that)
• Because I got a lot of meat beating the crap out of them.
• Because the Goblin King is a perv.
• Because Dwarves don't let anyone mine in their mines (or Because the more is mine, the less is yours).
• I don't quite remember why right now. I like the skull, though.
• Because it took me a long time to find a Baby Killer Bee
• Because I completed the Pretentious Artist Quest, duuuuuh...

People who called me Duck and Cover (it's Duck AND Cover, damn it!)

• The Toot Oriole: O.K., I forgive him, because he is my master and stuff, but being so wise he should have guessed that no sane mother would call her son Duck and Cover.
• Gunther, Lord of the Smackdown: I know he is a guy who trains guys to beat monsters for living, but I expected him to have a little more brain.
• The Naughty Sorceress: This one I won't forgive. She is the most stupiditly powerful sorceress of the Kingdom, and she doesn't know that "AND" is commonly used to separate two words? I wouldn't get mad about the King Kidnapping, or the monster attacks, or even the flirting in Fernswarthy's Hut, but DUCK AND COVER? Give me a break.
• King Ralph XI: All right, he didn't know me so well, and, in fact, I don't remember of ever telling him my name. Creepy. Anyway, he gave me jewelry. You don't beat a guy who gave you jewelry.
• Izchak: I can't believe this guy. He seemed fun at the beginning, until he called me Duck and Cover AND threw a Mimic at me. But later on I went back and trashed his store, so I think we're even.
• Terri, the Turtle Tamer

Custom Item

WARNING: These items don't exist, they're just a joke. However, it would be cool to have them, so anyone who can convince Jick to create them and give the ore to me will be my second best friend forever.

Bertonium Ore

This ore is glowing with a pretty green light. Maybe you shouldn't hold this for long. It would be better if you meatsmithed it in some kind of living helmet! It would probably protect you from monkeys holding dynamites.

(Meatsmithing component)
Cannot be traded.
Cannot be discarded

Cover, the Bertonium Helmet Turtle

This is Cover, the loyal life-long partner of Duck. Cover is the only Helmet Turtle that can protect you from a nuclear explosion. But only if you duck and cover. Duck AND Cover.

Type: hat
Power: 150
Moxie Required: 60
Cannot be traded.
Cannot be discarded

Enchantment:
Serious Nuclear Explosion Resistance
Muscle +10
Damage Absorption +10

	helmet turtle	dense meat stack
	meaty helmet turtle		Burtonium Ore
	Cover, the Burtonium Helmet Turtle

Thankings

• Mrs. Silent Bob0, thank you for the Goblin Superseltzers.
• Mr. Old Ned, mr. Gymnosophist and mr. Quietust, thank you for taking care of my page while I was away.

Proud member of TYRANT TURTLE TAMERS