The Armory and Leggery: Difference between revisions

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__NOTOC__
__NOTOC__
[[Image:armory.gif|The Armory and Leggery|center]]
[[File:armorer_anim.gif|center]][[File:armorer.gif|center]]
Kurt 'n Rod, the Armorer and Leggerer runs [[The Armory and Leggery]] in [[Market Square]]. <br>The items for sale here are grouped into four categories: Melee Weapons, Ranged Weapons, Hats and Pants.
[Name], the Armorer and Leggerer runs [[The Armory and Leggery]] in [[Market Square]]. <br>The items for sale here are grouped into five categories: Melee Weapons, Ranged Weapons, Utensils, Hats, and Pants.


----
----


<table align="center"><tr><td>[[Image:kurtnrod.gif|The Armorer and Leggerer]]</td><td align="left">
<table align="center"><tr><td>[[File:Matt.gif|The Armorer and Leggerer]]</td><td align="left">
'''[Name], the Armorer and Leggerer'''
'''[Name], the Armorer and Leggerer'''


Line 13: Line 13:


Anyway, what can I get for you? Or, umm, what can you get for yourself?"</td></tr></table>
Anyway, what can I get for you? Or, umm, what can you get for yourself?"</td></tr></table>
{{button|[[Lending a Hand (and a Foot)|The sign says there's a sale?]]}}


==Items Sold==
==Items Sold==
Line 30: Line 32:
{{StoreItem|item=two-handed depthsword|price=900}}
{{StoreItem|item=two-handed depthsword|price=900}}
{{StoreItem|item=bill bec-de-bardiche glaive-guisarme|price=1,125}}
{{StoreItem|item=bill bec-de-bardiche glaive-guisarme|price=1,125}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— Utensils —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=rubber spatula|price=150}}
{{StoreItem|item=wooden spoon|price=300}}
{{StoreItem|item=crystalline reamer|price=525}}
{{StoreItem|item=macroplane grater|price=750}}
{{StoreItem|item=bastard baster|price=900}}
{{StoreItem|item=obsidian nutcracker|price=1,125}}
|-
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
Line 36: Line 50:
|-
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=slingshot|price=150}}
{{StoreItem|item=toy accordion|price=150}}
{{StoreItem|item=slightly peevedbow|price=450}}
{{StoreItem|item=slightly peevedbow|price=450}}
{{StoreItem|item=lead yo-yo|price=600}}
{{StoreItem|item=lead yo-yo|price=600}}
Line 55: Line 69:
{{StoreItem|item=wooden salad bowl|price=900}}
{{StoreItem|item=wooden salad bowl|price=900}}
{{StoreItem|item=football helmet|price=1,125}}
{{StoreItem|item=football helmet|price=1,125}}
{{StoreItem|item=eldritch scanner|price=50,000}}
{{StoreItem|item=fishin' hat|price=10,000}}
|-
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
Line 63: Line 79:
{{StoreItem|item=studded leather boxer shorts|price=50}}
{{StoreItem|item=studded leather boxer shorts|price=50}}
{{StoreItem|item=chain-mail monokini|price=225}}
{{StoreItem|item=chain-mail monokini|price=225}}
{{StoreItem|item=junk-mail pants|price=375}}
{{StoreItem|item=union scalemail pants|price=375}}
{{StoreItem|item=paper-plate-mail pants|price=600}}
{{StoreItem|item=paper-plate-mail pants|price=600}}
{{StoreItem|item=troutpiece|price=825}}
{{StoreItem|item=troutpiece|price=825}}
{{StoreItem|item=alpha-mail pants|price=1,050}}
{{StoreItem|item=alpha-mail pants|price=1,050}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2015 Standard Gear (Normal) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=polyester parachute|price='''1'''|currency=wickerbits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=polyester pad|price='''1'''|currency=wickerbits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=polyester peeler|price='''1'''|currency=wickerbits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=polyester pettipants|price='''1'''|currency=wickerbits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=polyester panama hat|price='''1'''|currency=wickerbits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=polyester pulsera|price='''1'''|currency=wickerbits|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2015 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=porcelain police baton|price='''1'''|currency=bakelite bits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=porcelain plus-fours|price='''1'''|currency=bakelite bits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=porcelain porkpie|price='''1'''|currency=bakelite bits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=porcelain pepper mill|price='''1'''|currency=bakelite bits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=porcelain pelerine|price='''1'''|currency=bakelite bits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=porcelain phantom mask|price='''1'''|currency=bakelite bits|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2016 Standard Gear (Normal) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=wicker kickers|price='''1'''|currency=aerosolized aerogel|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=wicker slicker|price='''1'''|currency=aerosolized aerogel|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=wicker knickers|price='''1'''|currency=aerosolized aerogel|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=wicker ticker|price='''1'''|currency=aerosolized aerogel|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=wicker sticker|price='''1'''|currency=aerosolized aerogel|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=wicker clicker|price='''1'''|currency=aerosolized aerogel|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2016 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=bakelite belt|price='''1'''|currency=wrought-iron flakes|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=bakelite badge|price='''1'''|currency=wrought-iron flakes|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=bakelite bowl|price='''1'''|currency=wrought-iron flakes|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=bakelite brooch|price='''1'''|currency=wrought-iron flakes|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=bakelite breeches|price='''1'''|currency=wrought-iron flakes|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=bakelite backpack|price='''1'''|currency=wrought-iron flakes|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2017 Standard Gear (Normal) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=aerogel anvil|price='''1'''|currency=gabardine smithereens|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=aerogel akubra|price='''1'''|currency=gabardine smithereens|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=aerogel apron|price='''1'''|currency=gabardine smithereens|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=aerogel ascot|price='''1'''|currency=gabardine smithereens|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=aerogel attache case|price='''1'''|currency=gabardine smithereens|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=aerogel accordion|price='''1'''|currency=gabardine smithereens|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2017 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=wrought-iron wig|price='''1'''|currency=fiberglass fibers|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=wrought-iron winch crank|price='''1'''|currency=fiberglass fibers|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=wrought-iron widget|price='''1'''|currency=fiberglass fibers|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=wrought-iron whisk|price='''1'''|currency=fiberglass fibers|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=wrought-iron walker|price='''1'''|currency=fiberglass fibers|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=wrought-iron waders|price='''1'''|currency=fiberglass fibers|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2018 Standard Gear (Normal) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=gabardine gaiters|price='''1'''|currency=chalk chunks|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=gabardine garland|price='''1'''|currency=chalk chunks|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=gabardine gunnysack|price='''1'''|currency=chalk chunks|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=gabardine garibaldi|price='''1'''|currency=chalk chunks|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=gabardine girdle|price='''1'''|currency=chalk chunks|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=gabardine gloves|price='''1'''|currency=chalk chunks|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2018 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=fiberglass fetish|price='''1'''|currency=marble molecules|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=fiberglass foil|price='''1'''|currency=marble molecules|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=fiberglass fannypack|price='''1'''|currency=marble molecules|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=fiberglass frock|price='''1'''|currency=marble molecules|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=fiberglass fingerguard|price='''1'''|currency=marble molecules|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=fiberglass fedora|price='''1'''|currency=marble molecules|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2019 Standard Gear (Normal) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=chalk chapeau|price='''1'''|currency=paraffin pieces|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=chalk chlamys|price='''1'''|currency=paraffin pieces|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=chalk chalice|price='''1'''|currency=paraffin pieces|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=chalk chinos|price='''1'''|currency=paraffin pieces|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=chalk chain|price='''1'''|currency=paraffin pieces|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=chalk choker|price='''1'''|currency=paraffin pieces|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2019 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=marble maebari|price='''1'''|currency=terra cotta tidbits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=marble mantle|price='''1'''|currency=terra cotta tidbits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=marble magnet|price='''1'''|currency=terra cotta tidbits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=marble mignonette bowl|price='''1'''|currency=terra cotta tidbits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=marble medallion|price='''1'''|currency=terra cotta tidbits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=marble mariachi hat|price='''1'''|currency=terra cotta tidbits|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2020 Standard Gear (Normal) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=Paraffin punching bag|price='''1'''|currency=Velour veneer|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=Paraffin pith helmet|price='''1'''|currency=Velour veneer|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=Paraffin poncho|price='''1'''|currency=Velour veneer|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=Paraffin pendant|price='''1'''|currency=Velour veneer|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=Paraffin palazzos|price='''1'''|currency=Velour veneer|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=Paraffin pseudoaccordion|price='''1'''|currency=Velour veneer|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2020 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=Terra cotta truss|price='''1'''|currency=Stained glass shards|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=Terra cotta trousers|price='''1'''|currency=Stained glass shards|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=Terra cotta tongs|price='''1'''|currency=Stained glass shards|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=Terra cotta train|price='''1'''|currency=Stained glass shards|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=Terra cotta tie tack|price='''1'''|currency=Stained glass shards|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=Terra cotta tambourine|price='''1'''|currency=Stained glass shards|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2021 Standard Gear (Normal) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=velour voulge|price='''1'''|currency=loofah lumps|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=velour valise|price='''1'''|currency=loofah lumps|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=velour vaqueros|price='''1'''|currency=loofah lumps|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=velour vambraces|price='''1'''|currency=loofah lumps|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=velour veil|price='''1'''|currency=loofah lumps|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=velour viscometer|price='''1'''|currency=loofah lumps|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2021 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=stained glass stetson|price='''1'''|currency=Flagstone flagments|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=stained glass serape|price='''1'''|currency=Flagstone flagments|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=stained glass shiv|price='''1'''|currency=Flagstone flagments|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=stained glass shield|price='''1'''|currency=Flagstone flagments|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=stained glass suspenders|price='''1'''|currency=Flagstone flagments|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=stained glass spectacles|price='''1'''|currency=Flagstone flagments|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2022 Standard Gear (Normal) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=loofah lumberjack's hat|price='''1'''|currency=chiffon carbage|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=loofah ladle|price='''1'''|currency=chiffon carbage|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=loofah lederhosen|price='''1'''|currency=chiffon carbage|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=loofah lavalier|price='''1'''|currency=chiffon carbage|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=loofah legwarmers|price='''1'''|currency=chiffon carbage|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=loofah lei|price='''1'''|currency=chiffon carbage|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2022 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=flagstone fez|price='''1'''|currency=ceramic scree|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=flagstone fleece|price='''1'''|currency=ceramic scree|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=flagstone flail|price='''1'''|currency=ceramic scree|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=flagstone flag|price='''1'''|currency=ceramic scree|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=flagstone flip-flops|price='''1'''|currency=ceramic scree|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=flagstone fringe|price='''1'''|currency=ceramic scree|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2023 Standard Gear (Normal) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=chiffon chevrons|price='''1'''|currency=moss mulch|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=chiffon chapeau|price='''1'''|currency=moss mulch|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=chiffon chamberpot|price='''1'''|currency=moss mulch|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=chiffon chemise|price='''1'''|currency=moss mulch|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=chiffon chakram|price='''1'''|currency=moss mulch|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=chiffon chaps|price='''1'''|currency=moss mulch|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2023 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=ceramic cestus|price='''1'''|currency=adobe assortment|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=ceramic centurion shield|price='''1'''|currency=adobe assortment|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=ceramic celery grater|price='''1'''|currency=adobe assortment|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=ceramic celsiturometer|price='''1'''|currency=adobe assortment|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=ceramic cerecloth belt|price='''1'''|currency=adobe assortment|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=ceramic cenobite's robe|price='''1'''|currency=adobe assortment|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2024 Standard Gear (Normal) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=moss mace|price='''1'''|currency=crepe paper pared cuttings|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=moss megaphone|price='''1'''|currency=crepe paper pared cuttings|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=moss medal|price='''1'''|currency=crepe paper pared cuttings|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=moss mitre|price='''1'''|currency=crepe paper pared cuttings|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=moss mantle|price='''1'''|currency=crepe paper pared cuttings|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=moss marlinspike|price='''1'''|currency=crepe paper pared cuttings|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2024 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=adobe arsecover|price='''1'''|currency=petrified wood waste parts|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=adobe adze|price='''1'''|currency=petrified wood waste parts|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=adobe abacus|price='''1'''|currency=petrified wood waste parts|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=adobe ayam|price='''1'''|currency=petrified wood waste parts|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=adobe ascot|price='''1'''|currency=petrified wood waste parts|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=adobe abaya|price='''1'''|currency=petrified wood waste parts|currImage=y}}
|}
|}


==Notes==
==Notes==
*The Armory and Leggery was an expansion to the [[Market Square]] added to the Kingdom on February 27, 2006.
*In an impressive show of mercantile fortitude on March 5, 2006, [[The Armory and Leggery]] came to acquire all of the martial equipment that used to be sold by [[the Market]] including the [[snorkel]], [[cool whip]], [[studded leather boxer shorts]], [[sweet ninja sword]], [[slingshot]], and [[Kentucky-style derby]].
*The shopkeeper's name varies from character to character, and changes with each [[ascension]], though the filename of the image is 'matt.gif'. Reported aliases are Art, Bill, Bob, Jack, Matt, Sandy, Warren as well as the duo of Kurt 'n Rod who look like this:
*The shopkeeper's name varies from character to character, and changes with each [[ascension]], though the filename of the image is 'matt.gif'. Reported aliases are Art, Bill, Bob, Jack, Matt, Sandy, Warren as well as the duo of Kurt 'n Rod who look like this:


<table align="center"><tr><td>[[Image:Kurtnrod.gif|The Armorer and Leggerer]]</td><td align="left">
<table align="center"><tr><td>[[File:Kurtnrod.gif|The Armorer and Leggerer]]</td><td align="left">
'''Kurt 'n Rod, the Armorer and Leggerer, Respectively'''
'''Kurt 'n Rod, the Armorer and Leggerer, Respectively'''


Line 83: Line 337:
Anyway, what can we get for you? Or, umm, what can you get for yourself?"
Anyway, what can we get for you? Or, umm, what can you get for yourself?"
</td></tr></table>
</td></tr></table>
*The sections for standard ascension gear from previous years only appear if you have the relevant currency (ex: wickerbits, bakelite bits, etc).
*In a [[Zombie Slayer]] run, the store is closed:
:As you approach the Armory & Leggery, the first thing you notice is the large number of motionless corpses lying around, many of them with some or all of their head blown off, and the rest with crossbow bolts sticking out of their eyes.
:As you ponder the scene, a zombie shuffles up to see what you're doing. "Graaaa-urk!" he says, as a flaming arrow sails out of the window of the A&L and into his ear. It's at this point that you decide that maybe you should steer clear of the town's largest and best-defended weapons cache.
*In a [[Nuclear Autumn]] run, the store is closed:
:Looks like the Armorer and Leggerer felt like the risk of losing additional limbs due to mutation was too great. They packed up and left the store barren.
*In a [[Kingdom of Exploathing]] run, the entire market district is gone and this store is unavailable
==History==
*The Armory and Leggery was an expansion to the [[Market Square]] added to the Kingdom on February 27, 2006.
*In an impressive show of mercantile fortitude on March 5, 2006, [[The Armory and Leggery]] came to acquire all of the martial equipment that used to be sold by [[the Market]] including the [[snorkel]], [[cool whip]], [[studded leather boxer shorts]], [[sweet ninja sword]], [[slingshot]], and [[Kentucky-style derby]].
*On October 31st, 2013, the [[slingshot]] was replaced with [[toy accordion]].
*On February 9, 2015, the Armory and Leggery added a section for utensils.
*The [[eldritch scanner]] was only available during the [[Second Eldritch Incursion]] of 2017.
*On April 1, 2016, the Armory and Leggery added the [[fishin' hat]] with the implementation of the [[Clan Floundry]]. This is no longer in [[Standard]].


==References==
==References==
*The shopkeeper's different names refer to a series of jokes which always start out with, "What do you call..." e.g.
*The shopkeeper's different names refer to a series of jokes which always start out with, "What do you call a man with no arms and no legs..."
**"...a man with no arms and no legs..."
::*"...lying in front of a door? '''A:''' Matt."
::*"...lying in front of a door? '''A:''' Matt."
::*"...hanging from a wall? '''A:''' Art."
::*"...hanging from a wall? '''A:''' Art."
Line 94: Line 366:
::*"...on a beach? '''A:''' Sandy."
::*"...on a beach? '''A:''' Sandy."
::*"...with fifty rabbits stuck up his butt? '''A:''' Warren."
::*"...with fifty rabbits stuck up his butt? '''A:''' Warren."
:* "...two men with no arms, no legs, and stuck on top of a window? '''A:''' Kurt 'n Rod."
::* "...two men with no arms, no legs, and stuck on top of a window? '''A:''' Kurt 'n Rod."
*The fact that the armorer and leggerer have no arms and legs is reminiscent of the Larry the Cable Guy joke about a vet with one arm and no legs at the flea market, selling boots.


[[Category:Locations|Armory and Leggery, The]]
[[Category:Locations|Armory and Leggery, The]]
[[Category:NPC Stores|Armory and Leggery, The]]
[[Category:NPC Stores|Armory and Leggery, The]]

Latest revision as of 09:47, 25 May 2025

[Name], the Armorer and Leggerer runs The Armory and Leggery in Market Square.
The items for sale here are grouped into five categories: Melee Weapons, Ranged Weapons, Utensils, Hats, and Pants.

The Armorer and Leggerer

[Name], the Armorer and Leggerer

"Hey, what are you lookin' at?

Just kidding. Don't worry, I've heard 'em all. All the jokes, all the questions.
Questions like 'How do you make all this gear with no arms or legs?'

Anyway, what can I get for you? Or, umm, what can you get for yourself?"
The sign says there's a sale?

Items Sold

Item: Price:
— Melee Weapons —
cool whip 30 Meat
sweet ninja sword 50 Meat
suede shortsword 300 Meat
25-meat staff 525 Meat
bamboo bokuto 750 Meat
two-handed depthsword 900 Meat
bill bec-de-bardiche glaive-guisarme 1,125 Meat
— Utensils —
rubber spatula 150 Meat
wooden spoon 300 Meat
crystalline reamer 525 Meat
macroplane grater 750 Meat
bastard baster 900 Meat
obsidian nutcracker 1,125 Meat
— Ranged Weapons —
toy accordion 150 Meat
slightly peevedbow 450 Meat
lead yo-yo 600 Meat
sack of doorknobs 825 Meat
lucky ball-and-chain 975 Meat
automatic catapult 1,125 Meat
— Hats —
snorkel 30 Meat
Kentucky-style derby 50 Meat
pentacorn hat 300 Meat
goofily-plumed helmet 525 Meat
yellow plastic hard hat 675 Meat
wooden salad bowl 900 Meat
football helmet 1,125 Meat
eldritch scanner 50,000 Meat
fishin' hat 10,000 Meat
— Pants —
studded leather boxer shorts 50 Meat
chain-mail monokini 225 Meat
union scalemail pants 375 Meat
paper-plate-mail pants 600 Meat
troutpiece 825 Meat
alpha-mail pants 1,050 Meat
— 2015 Standard Gear (Normal) —
polyester parachute 1
polyester pad 1
polyester peeler 1
polyester pettipants 1
polyester panama hat 1
polyester pulsera 1
— 2015 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
porcelain police baton 1
porcelain plus-fours 1
porcelain porkpie 1
porcelain pepper mill 1
porcelain pelerine 1
porcelain phantom mask 1
— 2016 Standard Gear (Normal) —
wicker kickers 1
wicker slicker 1
wicker knickers 1
wicker ticker 1
wicker sticker 1
wicker clicker 1
— 2016 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
bakelite belt 1
bakelite badge 1
bakelite bowl 1
bakelite brooch 1
bakelite breeches 1
bakelite backpack 1
— 2017 Standard Gear (Normal) —
aerogel anvil 1
aerogel akubra 1
aerogel apron 1
aerogel ascot 1
aerogel attache case 1
aerogel accordion 1
— 2017 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
wrought-iron wig 1
wrought-iron winch crank 1
wrought-iron widget 1
wrought-iron whisk 1
wrought-iron walker 1
wrought-iron waders 1
— 2018 Standard Gear (Normal) —
gabardine gaiters 1
gabardine garland 1
gabardine gunnysack 1
gabardine garibaldi 1
gabardine girdle 1
gabardine gloves 1
— 2018 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
fiberglass fetish 1
fiberglass foil 1
fiberglass fannypack 1
fiberglass frock 1
fiberglass fingerguard 1
fiberglass fedora 1
— 2019 Standard Gear (Normal) —
chalk chapeau 1
chalk chlamys 1
chalk chalice 1
chalk chinos 1
chalk chain 1
chalk choker 1
— 2019 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
marble maebari 1
marble mantle 1
marble magnet 1
marble mignonette bowl 1
marble medallion 1
marble mariachi hat 1
— 2020 Standard Gear (Normal) —
paraffin punching bag 1
paraffin pith helmet 1
paraffin poncho 1
paraffin pendant 1
paraffin palazzos 1
paraffin pseudoaccordion 1
— 2020 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
terra cotta truss 1
terra cotta trousers 1
terra cotta tongs 1
terra cotta train 1
terra cotta tie tack 1
terra cotta tambourine 1
— 2021 Standard Gear (Normal) —
velour voulge 1
velour valise 1
velour vaqueros 1
velour vambraces 1
velour veil 1
velour viscometer 1
— 2021 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
stained glass stetson 1
stained glass serape 1
stained glass shiv 1
stained glass shield 1
stained glass suspenders 1
stained glass spectacles 1
— 2022 Standard Gear (Normal) —
loofah lumberjack's hat 1
loofah ladle 1
loofah lederhosen 1
loofah lavalier 1
loofah legwarmers 1
loofah lei 1
— 2022 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
flagstone fez 1
flagstone fleece 1
flagstone flail 1
flagstone flag 1
flagstone flip-flops 1
flagstone fringe 1
— 2023 Standard Gear (Normal) —
chiffon chevrons 1
chiffon chapeau 1
chiffon chamberpot 1
chiffon chemise 1
chiffon chakram 1
chiffon chaps 1
— 2023 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
ceramic cestus 1
ceramic centurion shield 1
ceramic celery grater 1
ceramic celsiturometer 1
ceramic cerecloth belt 1
ceramic cenobite's robe 1
— 2024 Standard Gear (Normal) —
moss mace 1
moss megaphone 1
moss medal 1
moss mitre 1
moss mantle 1
moss marlinspike 1
— 2024 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
adobe arsecover 1
adobe adze 1
adobe abacus 1
adobe ayam 1
adobe ascot 1
adobe abaya 1

Notes

  • The shopkeeper's name varies from character to character, and changes with each ascension, though the filename of the image is 'matt.gif'. Reported aliases are Art, Bill, Bob, Jack, Matt, Sandy, Warren as well as the duo of Kurt 'n Rod who look like this:
The Armorer and Leggerer

Kurt 'n Rod, the Armorer and Leggerer, Respectively

"Hey, what are you lookin' at?

Just kidding. Don't worry, we've heard 'em all. All the jokes, all the questions. Questions like 'How do you make all this gear with no arms or legs?'

Anyway, what can we get for you? Or, umm, what can you get for yourself?"

  • The sections for standard ascension gear from previous years only appear if you have the relevant currency (ex: wickerbits, bakelite bits, etc).
  • In a Zombie Slayer run, the store is closed:
As you approach the Armory & Leggery, the first thing you notice is the large number of motionless corpses lying around, many of them with some or all of their head blown off, and the rest with crossbow bolts sticking out of their eyes.
As you ponder the scene, a zombie shuffles up to see what you're doing. "Graaaa-urk!" he says, as a flaming arrow sails out of the window of the A&L and into his ear. It's at this point that you decide that maybe you should steer clear of the town's largest and best-defended weapons cache.
Looks like the Armorer and Leggerer felt like the risk of losing additional limbs due to mutation was too great. They packed up and left the store barren.

History

References

  • The shopkeeper's different names refer to a series of jokes which always start out with, "What do you call a man with no arms and no legs..."
  • "...lying in front of a door? A: Matt."
  • "...hanging from a wall? A: Art."
  • "...stuck in a mailbox? A: Bill."
  • "...floating in the water? A: Bob."
  • "...underneath a car? A: Jack."
  • "...on a beach? A: Sandy."
  • "...with fifty rabbits stuck up his butt? A: Warren."
  • "...two men with no arms, no legs, and stuck on top of a window? A: Kurt 'n Rod."
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