Dry noodle guide

The Hermit humbly requests that this page be rewritten or expanded. Fix all these numbers to be in line with the update that nuked the Wok ages ago.

Dry noodle cooking can be broken down into several types: basic, saucy, meins, lasagnas, and wontons.

Basic Dry Noodle

Pasta Dish	Ingredient	Adventures	Stat gains	Fullness	Level
delicious noodles	herbs	6-9	19-23 Cheek	3	3
spicy noodles	spices	6-12	-	3	4
delicious spicy noodles	secret blend of herbs and spices	9-11	29-33 Magicalness	3	5
Knob stuffed shells	Knob sausage	10-14	20-25 Beefiness	4	5
boring spaghetti	tomato	10-14	20-25 Magicalness	4	5
Knob stroganoff	Knob mushroom	10-14	20-25 Cheek	4	5
painful penne pasta	jabañero pepper	7-9	15-20 Beefiness †	3	3
pr0n m4nic0tti	pr0n legs	10-12	28-32 Cheek	4	3
ravioli della hippy	wad of tofu	4-12	19-23 Magicalness	3	3

† painful penne pasta will cause you to lose 20-23 HP.

Of these, the best is clearly the delicious spicy noodles offering 10.333 stats per fullness and 3.333 adventures per fullness. However, the difficulty is that these require both spices and herbs. Spices may be difficult to obtain. Additionally, one could make significantly better chow meins with the herbs and spices.

Failing easy access to secret blends, Knob stuffed shells, boring spaghetti, and Knob stroganoff all offer an acceptable 5.625 stats and 3 adventures per fullness. The advantage of boring spaghetti is the easy tomato drops at low levels, and that one can buy tomatoes from the hippy store later in the game if needed. Spicy noodles also grant 3 adventures per fullness, but with no stat gains at all they are generally an inferior choice.

For stats, pr0n m4nic0tti is a viable choice if one is trying to work on Moxie, with 7.5 stats per fullness and 2.75 adventures per fullness. Ravioli della hippy offers 7 Mysticality stats per fullness with a slightly lower 2.667 adventures per fullness. Delicious noodles similarly offer 7 Moxie stats per fullness, but even lower adventures per fullness at 2.5. All of these require ingredients that are not typically available until higher levels, however, by which time one is usually able to prepare superior pasta dishes.

Painful penne pasta gives 5.833 Muscle stats per fullness and 2.667 adventures per fullness, though this also requires access to the hermit for the jabañero pepper.

Reagent dishes (Saucy dry noodles)

Food name	Base food item	Sauce name	Adventure Gain	Stat gain	Fullness	Level
fettucini Inconnu	goat cheese	fancy schmancy cheese sauce	17 - 20	25 - 30 Magicalness	5	8
gnocchetti di Nietzsche	Knob mushroom	Himalayan Hidalgo sauce	22 - 27	47 - 52 Magicalness	6	6
spaghetti with Skullheads	Knob sausage	sauce of the ages	22 - 27	47 - 52 Beefiness	6	6
Hell ramen	hellion cube	Hell broth	11 - 14	13 in each stat and 20-29 Meat	4	6
spaghetti con calaveras	marzipan skull	Salsa de las Epocas	20 - 26	23 - 52 Beefiness	6	6

There are five saucy dry noodles. Three are 6 fullness items, meaning that without Stomach of Steel one can only eat two a day. With Stomach of Steel, one is able to eat three per day. Fettucini Inconnu is only 5 fullness, so one can eat three per day without Stomach of Steel or four per day with it. Hell ramen is a mere 4 fullness, meaning one can eat three per day without Stomach of Steel or a whopping 5 per day with it.

Hell ramen is the best of the set for stat gains, with the most stats per fullness at 9.75 (plus a little bonus Meat). Gnocchetti di Nietzsche and spaghetti with Skullheads offer 8.25 stats per fullness, though in a particular area. This makes them choice dishes for Stat Days where the 25% bonus can be used with best efficiency. Spaghetti con calaveras gives an inferior 6.25 stats per fullness, and fettucini Inconnu gives an even lower 5.5 stats per fullness.

Conversely, Hell ramen is the worst choice for adventure gains, offering only 3.125 adventures per fullness. Gnocchetti di Nietzsche and spaghetti with Skullheads are the best choices, giving about 4.083 adventures per fullness. Spaghetti con calaveras gives roughly 3.833 adventures per fullness, and fettucini Inconnu gives 3.7 adventures per fullness.

Although spaghetti con calaveras requires learning the recipe from the April Shower, those with access to the Gno-Mart can purchase a marzipan skull, a distinct advantage over the other dishes.

Lo meins

Lo Mein	Base Ingredient	Adventures	Stat gains	Fullness
asparagus lo mein	stalk of asparagus	9-16	10-14 Beefiness 12-16 Magicalness.	3
Knob lo mein	Knob mushroom	14-20	30-34 Magicalness	4
Knoll lo mein	Knoll mushroom	14-21	30-34 Beefiness	4
olive lo mein	olive	9-16	10-14 Beefiness 10-14 Cheek	3
spooky lo mein	spooky mushroom	14-21	30-34 Cheek	4

Lo meins are the lowest tier of all three meins. They can be cooked using Pastamastery by cooking dry noodles with a first-tier stir fry (the base ingredient cooked with a secret blend of herbs and spices). With access to the Mushroom Fields, the mushroom lo meins are much superior to delicious spicy noodles, especially since the mushrooms only cost 30-50 meat (and a day). It does, however, consume two adventures instead of one (without chef-in-the-box).

Scrumdiddlyumptious Noodles

Noodles in this category technically require savory dry noodles, which includes MSG. They require sauces made with the Way of Sauce skill and bottles of scrumdiddlyumptious solution and will require Transcendental Noodlecraft to complete.

Food name	Base food item	Sauce name	Adventure Gain	Stat gain	Fullness	Level
Fettris	imitation White Russian	Alexy sauce	21-23-?	?-41-43-? Beefiness	5	11
fusillocybin	colorful toad	rainbow sauce	22	44 Magicalness	5	11
libertagliatelle	open sauce	Salsa Libre	19-22	35-40 Magicalness	5	10
linguini of the sea	stolen sushi	illicit fish sauce	19-22	35-40 Cheek	5	10
prescription noodles	pill cup	drug cocktail sauce	23	43 Cheek	5	11
turkish mostaccioli	giant turkey leg	good gravy	19-22	35-40 Beefiness	5	10

Scrumdiddlyumptious Noodles replaced Chow Mein as an intermediate noodle between lo mein and hi mein

Hi meins

Hi Mein	Base Sauce	Pulverize a... (Lvl available)	Adventures	Muscle	Mysticality	Moxie	Fullness
cold hi mein	cold and sour sauce	frozen nunchaku (8)	24-27	70-75	30-35	15-20	5
hot hi mein	hot and sour sauce	demon buckler (6)	24-27	70-75	15-20	30-35	5
sleazy hi mein	sleazy and sour sauce	buffalo blade (6)	24-27	25-30	25-30	70-75	5
spooky hi mein	spooky and sour sauce	spiked femur (6)	24-27	15-20	70-75	30-35	5
stinky hi mein	stench and sour sauce	lihc face (7)	24-27	30-35	70-75	15-20	5

Hi meins are an improved type of chow mein. They are created by cooking elemental sour sauces with savory dry noodles. The skill Transcendental Noodlecraft and the item MSG are required to create savory dry noodles. The Way of Sauce is required to make the elemental sour sauces. You must be able to Pulverize equipment to get half of the ingredients for the elemental sour sauces, or buy them at the mall which means being out of Ronin.

There are several disadvantages to hi meins that offset their advantages. Access to The Malus of Forethought is only available to Muscle classes, while MSG can only be bought by Mysticality classes or Accordion Thieves. Additionally, hi meins all have a level requirement of 12, making them solidly an aftercore food. Players who remain in Hardcore despite being over level 12, perhaps for PvP, will find themselves unable to craft them at all, unless they happen to be Turtle Tamers willing to enter Hobopolis to tame some boxcar turtles.

Lasagnas

Lasagna	Base Food	Seasoning	Casserole	Adventures	Stat Gains	Fullness
gnat lasagna	filet of tangy gnat ("fotelif")	ancient spice	gnatloaf casserole	11-18	45-55 Beefiness	3
long pork lasagna	long pork	black pepper	long pork casserole	11-18	45-55 Magicalness	3
fishy fish lasagna	displaced fish	dehydrated caviar	fishy fish casserole	11-18	45-55 Cheek	3

Lasagnas are slightly less effective than chow meins and they can not be eaten until level 10. Lasagnas only require 2 ingredients, compared to 4 for the chow meins. However, each lasagna includes ingredients not available until level 11.

Wontons

Wonton	McMillicancuddy Item	Base Food	Food	Adventures	Stats	Adv/Full	Fullness	Level
sausage wonton	McMillicancuddy's Special Lager	frat brats	beer basted brat	12-18	50-80 Beefiness, 20-30 Magicalness, 20-30 Cheek	5	3	12
tofu wonton	megatofu	mixed wildflower greens	super salad	11-18	20-30 Beefiness, 50-80 Magicalness, 20-30 Cheek	4.83	3	12

Each wonton requires an ingredient available only after completing the Defowl the Farm quest during level 12 and either visiting the farm or obtaining an instant rations kit. The sausage wonton, which is comparable to a chow mein, is slightly better than the tofu wonton, which is comparable with the lasagna. As with the lasagna, they only require 2 ingredients, and may be more helpful in Aftercore than a regular run.

Obsolete Items

This content has been retired and is no longer available in game.

The items below used to be part of the noodle strategy before being removed from the game.

Chow mein

Food name	Stir-fry	Protein	Adventures	Stat Gains	Fullness
tofu chow mein	asparagus stir-fry	wad of tofu	11-19	18-22 Beefiness 20-25 Magicalness	3
pr0n chow mein	olive stir-fry	pr0n legs	16-24	20-26 Beefiness 20-26 Cheek	4
Knob sausage chow mein	Knoll stir-fry	Knob sausage	21-28	72-76 Beefiness	5
bat wing chow mein	Knob stir-fry	bat wing	21-28	70-75 Magicalness	5
rat appendix chow mein	spooky stir-fry	rat appendix	21-28	70-75 Cheek	5

The chow mein dishes were some of the best foods in the Kingdom. They all required a secret blend of herbs and spices, dry noodles, MSG and one or two other ingredients. You needed Pastamastery to summon the dry noodles and Transcendental Noodlecraft to create chow mein. Generally, the tofu and pr0n chow meins were considered separate from the other chow meins, due to their lower fullness, lower stat boosts, and irregular recipes.

On July 7, 2015, all chow mein dishes were replaced with simpler items.