Anapest combat

When combat occurs in The Suburbs of Dis The messages rhyme, and they're metered like this.

When fighting elsewhere, there's one thing you can do, Just the Best Anapests brings the rhymes out to you!

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Losing Initiative

You thought you were fast, but your foe's a bit faster. Let's hope this won't turn out to be a disaster.

Gaining Initiative

Who got the jump? Oh please, who, tell me, who? It wasn't your foe, so it must have been you!

You leap into combat, as quick as a wink, attacking the monster before he can blink!

Your foe is so slow! So slow is your foe! Much slower than you, who are ready to go!

Player Messages

Pickpocketing

Successfully Pickpocketing an item

You gaffler! Pick-pocket! Sneaker and snaker! You crept up behind them and took like a taker!

You sneak up to your foe and take a look in their pocket, then give them a reason, someday, to restock it.

Failing to Pickpocket an item

Please don't accuse me of wounding your pride, but nothing much came of that thing that you tried.

Weapon Attacks

Successful Attack

You do XXX points, and hit your foe in the belly, making it splash like a bag full of jelly.

You leap at your foe in a violent blitz, and cut off XX hit points worth of bits.

Your enemy comes off as kind of a klutz, with XXX points worth of steel in their guts.

You swing with your weapon; your foe takes the hit! XX points damage must sting quite a bit!

You hack at your foe XXXX times more. They'll need a broom to get all of the bits off the floor.

Your weapon removes XXXX HP from your foe in a violent murdering spree.

Your foe takes some damage; it looks a bit painful. Perhaps that will teach it to be so disdainful.

Critical hits

With prowess to spare and an eye analytical You deal out a critical hit that is Critical!

You jump at the monster, and slip past its guard! You swing at it fiercely, and hit it QUITE HARD!

The Vorkers who Vork in the Vasty Voovusvid Have never hit anything hard as you just did!

Fumbles

You fumble your weapon -- it lands on your bung! It hurts worse than the sting of a bee that has stung!

Your weapon falls down to the floor 'midst the clutter, What's wrong with you? Are your hands coated in butter?

Receiving Damage

You took XX damage -- not just to your pride, but also to what keeps your insides inside.

It seems that you've lost ? points of health. I hope you've been saving, so you'll still have your wealth.

You got hurt quite a lot! XXX full HP! The sight of your guts isn't pleasant to see!

The violent impact shakes your skull with a thud, and you lose XX points worth of valuable blood.

You took X points of hurt, which could have been worse. You probably don't need to look for a nurse.

I don't want to shock you with depictions of gore, but you just dripped X points worth of blood on the floor.

The pain of the blow's like a punch to the guts and you take XX damage -- no ifs, ands or buts.

Skill Messages

Dealing Damage via a Skill

You demonstrate a slick combat maneuver that's effective as a X hit point remover.

Your show off your learning of things that you've learned. X damage? Not much, but no amount can be spurned.

Killing a Monster via a Skill

You roll up a sleeve, prepare a skill for the skilling, and do so much damage, it's hopefully killing.

Other Successful Skill Usage

You use a skill -- it isn't a damaging one, but skills don't have to cause pain to be fun.

Combat Items

Dealing Damage via Combat Items

You hurl a thing that you took from your pack, and deal X points with a thingly attack.

You caused so much pain with that thing from your pack, that even you winced at the sound of the smack!

You fling a thing with your flinger; it flies at your foe! XXX damage results from the blow!

Other Successful Combat Item Usage

You used a thing from your bag, and something happened, I guess! I can't give you much detail, I must confess.

Activating an item caused something to happen! What? I don't know. I guess you caught me napping.

HP Gain

You heal a few damage -- not much, I'll admit, but the hitpoints you've added will help you a bit.

You've got X more hit points than you had before! Now go out and fight and get off of the floor!

You've gained XX hitpoints, and feel a lot better. Go out there and get 'em, you going go-getter!

You heal X points worth of your cuts and abrasions, You earned on a number of violent occasions.

With XXX hitpoints added onto your score, you're raring to go and you're ready for more!

MP Gain

You've just gotten ? of your MP restored! Now you can show all those creeps what you've learned!

Magical energy floods into your veins! Not a whole lot -- X points -- but it's good for your brains.

You regain XX MP of mystical fuel, and prepare to escort some more monsters to school.

Running Away

Successfully

With wings on your heels, you run and take flight, escaping the monster and leaving the fight.

Unsuccessfully

There's no relaxing for you yet today you tried to escape, but did not get away.

Familiar Messages

Stat Point Increasing

A grin from your pet makes you feel more than thrilled, Because it implies that you're getting more skilled.

A smile from your buddy, your heart fills with joy, You're getting experience, so don't be coy!

Your pet smiles quite broadly, as if to say, "Congrats! You have learned something useful today."

Your pet indicates, with a grin of its grinner, that it thinks you to be quite a winningful winner.

Your pet gives a smile (even if it lacks lips), And it gives you a cheer with a couple Hip, Hips!

Meat Drop Increasing

Your pet indicates, with a wink of its eye, that there might be more meat to find here, if you try.

Your pet gives a nod and one-half of a blink -- a gesture more commonly known as a 'wink'.

Item Drop Increasing

Your pet does a tango, a jig, and a waltz, to help you get profit from recent assaults.

With a twist and a twirl, a flitter and flutter, your pet dances brightly, a fly made of butter.

Your buddy does dances, it spins and it twirls! It finds extra riches for good boys and girls!

Attacking

From violence, familiars will rarely abstain, Yours leaps into the fight, dealing X points of pain.

Like the Boofers that live on the Isle of Buprate, Your little friend does XX damage! That's great!

Your familiar hits hard as the Snoofle-snuff-snub! He can do XX damage, and that ain't bad, bub!

"Go beat up our foes, little friend! Do it quickly!" So your friend beats on him, doing X damage, slickly.

Your friend shouts "Wahoo!" and leaps into the fight! It does X points of damage, not great, but all right!

Your buddy shreds him like a box full of tissues! Perhaps it has got some untreated rage issues?

Your familiar leaps into the fray with a shout It does XX damage and makes your foe pout!

Your little friend's limber and loose in the joints, It leaps on your foe and hits him for X points!

Like the Grumbery birds on the Isle of Berblatt, Your familiar hits XXX times, just like that!

Your buddy beats on him XXX times, This next part says nothing at all! It just rhymes!

Well wazzle-dee-hoo and hip-hip hooray! Your familiar did XXX damage today!

General

Your familiar did something to help in your plight, but you were distracted, with monsters to fight.

Your pet did a thing; I don't know what it did. Perhaps it went skiing, or huggled a squid?

Your pet did a thing; I didn't see it, did you? I guess it just did what they usually do.

Your familiar did something, just what I'm not sure. Did it pick you a flower, or spit on the floor?

Your pet did a thing that might just save the day, I'm afraid you were looking the opposite way.

Leveling Up

Your pet gains a pound! Watch it leap up and flex! Its body can cash all its ego-writ checks!

Your pet gains a pound! But don't fret; it can hustle! It's putting on weight, but it's surely all muscle.

Your pet just got heavier, fatter and fitter! It certainly wasn't the runt of the litter!

Enemy messages

Introduction Text

A monster approaches, and doesn't look pleasant. I doubt that he's looking to give you a present.

A monster attacks! Not a Long-Toothed Bazooter, but something that, frankly, isn't all that much cuter.

A monster jumps out of some nebulous place, and makes an attempt at removing your face!

A terrible monster escaped from the zoo! It's ugly and mean and it's coming for you!

Miss Messages

The monster jumps at you, but you're quick on your feet, and escape with no harm to your personal meat.

The enemy's quick to attack, but you're quicker, and as you dodge past him, you chortle and snicker.

The enemy makes an attack, but you block it. Parrying's handy -- 'til you've tried it, don't knock it.

The enemy leaps to attack you, but misses, and angrily pouting, glares at you and hisses.

Your foe thinks your teeth would look better dislodged, but as he attacks you, you (get out of) dodge.

Your foe thinks he's going to show you what for, but the place he attacks -- you aren't there any more.

Enemy Is Stunned

The monster seems stunned (or confused, or entangled) because of the skills you've so skillfully wrangled.

End of Combat

Winning the Fight

The beast falls to the ground, 'cause you've taught it a lesson! It won't feel good in the morning, I'm guessin'.

The monster explodes in a shower of gore! (Not really, he just kind of falls on the floor.)

That monster, at first, seemed to be pretty tough, but however much damage you did, it's enough.

With tail between legs, the beast flees from the fight! You defeated your foe and have proven your might!

Your foe lies defeated by your beatings and grapples, and you ask him "So, whadda think of them apples?"

Gaining Substats

Muscle Substats

Your strengthliness went up by X points! Hooray! Now find something else to beat up on today.

With those X extra substats of strength that you found, it won't be much longer 'till muscles abound!

Your muscles swell up, about XX points worth, making them slightly more robust in girth.

With XX additional muscle substats, you'll soon give what-for to these villainous prats.

Your strengthliness increases XXX times from exacting revenge for that foe's heinous crimes.

Gaining a Muscle Point

Your muscles are musclier than ever before! How much do you bench, dude? Now it's one more!

Gaining Mysticality substats:

You've got X points more brains than a moment ago! In the words of the immortal poet: like, woah.

X points of knowledge drip into your head. It tickles, like when you eat paint made of lead.

You've gained XXX new points of magical skill! This occult education continues to thrill!

Your brain just got XX points larger and crinklier! (Not everything slows down as it becomes wrinklier.)

You've realized XX new realizations, attuning you further to mystic vibrations.

XXX points of magic flow into your cells! Soon you'll be spellcasting much spellier spells!

Gaining a Mysticality Point

You're a whiz of a wizard! Your brain just got brainier! All of your sweet arcane knowledge -- arcanier!

Gaining Moxie Substats

You're a thief in the shadows, a ninja at night! You're XXX moxiousness slyer, all right!

XXXX points earned toward some new moxie is making you feel increasingly foxy.

You're XXX points more sarcastic! That's great! No, really! It's super! I'm telling it straight!

You're slick as a snake and as quiet as mice! XXXX points moreso now, to be precise.

You've learned a few tricks -- now you're XX points trickier! (And now situations get XX points stickier.)

Your roguishness increased by leaps and by bounds! Well, just XX points, but the interest compounds.

You've gained X points more chutzpah! You're quick as a snake! A dashing, and charming, and debonair rake!

Gaining a Moxie Point

Your moxie went up a whole point on this day! In the words of the coolest of cool, I say, "Ayyyyy."

Your moxie went up! Now you're slicker and faster! At charming the ladies (or dudes), you're a master!

Getting Meat

If XXX meat makes you smile with greed, well, that's how much you found, so feel free to proceed.

Just look at this meat -- there's too much to count! How will you spend such a crazy amount?

If you'd like to go shopping, go ahead, because you're XXX meat richer than you were before.

Item Drops

What good is a XXXX? What's it for? Oh well, that question never stopped you before.

You find a new thing; it goes into your pack with the rest of the various weird bric-a-brac.

A XXXX! It goes in your bag, with all of the rest of your ludicrous swag.

A XXXX -- do you take it, or leave it? Just kidding! Leave treasure? I can hardly conceive it.

You discover an item that someone forgot, throw it into your pack and take off like a shot.

You found a XXXX -- what an odd thing to find! Best pick it up before you change your mind.

This XXXX is obviously yours -- you can tell by the way it's not nailed to the floor.

You added an ? to your collection! No booty will escape your careful inspection!

You picked up a thing that you found on the floor. Your pack is quite full, but there's room for one more.

You find a XXX; it goes in your pack. Someday, it might help you to lay down the smack.

Hey, look! A <item>! You've discovered some loot! The crowd shouts "Hurrah!" and the trumpets go "Toot!"

Notes

• 'X' corresponds to the number of syllables of what it replaces.