There are 8 creatures filed under J.
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40
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jailbait orquette
- The jailbait orquette's favorite booze is peppermint mouthwash, because that's all she can steal from her parents.
- The jailbait orquette's favorite lip gloss flavor is chunky monkey.
- The jailbait orquette's favorite item of clothing is her neon-pink ripped-up fishnet stockings.
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45
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80
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400
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jamfish
- One jamfish aimlessly circled the same coral outcropping for six straight hours. Fans of jamfish trade bootlegs of that video to this day.
- The difference between jam and jelly is that jam is made with every edible part of the fruit, while jelly is made from just fruit juice.
- The difference between peanut butter and jam is that . . . never mind, it's a family game.
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360
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750
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115
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Jocko Homo
- Jocko Homo has heard all the jokes, and doesn't need any lip from you.
- The species of latently-gay sports enthusiast you encounter in high school is Jockus Homus, not Jocko Homo.
- "Jock Humus" is the stuff that accumulates in a football player's. . . never mind.
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103
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150
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1250
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Johnringo, the Netdragger
- The dragnet is considered a more noble weapon than the switchblade by the gladiatorial community.
- Gladiators have a pretty high turnover rate. Not, like, "amusement park janitor" high, but high.
- In the hand-signal game based on Mer-kin gladiator battles, the dragnet beats the dodgeball but loses to the switchblade.
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1200
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1500
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45
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judgmental eye
- Judgmental eyes live in constant fear of cataracts.
- This is because they don't want to accidentally go over one in a barrel.
- Judgmental eyes cannot swim, they can only float.
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35
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40
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50
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jungle baboon
- Jungle baboons were, evolutionarily speaking, more successful than desert baboons, because it's hard to live in the trees where there aren't any.
- Baboons are Old World monkeys, not like those youngster monkeys with their roller skates and their listening to the hippity-hoppity music.
- Baboons have been known to raise lost human foundlings as one of their tribe; weirdly enough, male children raised this way never grow a beard or body hair.
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54
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50
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90
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jungle scabie
- Jungle scabies are most commonly contracted by participating in "cuddle puddles" at raves.
- The symptoms of jungle scabies are itching, burning, and attempting to hum along to music that mainly consists of "oontz oontz oontz oontz".
- Jungle scabies can be easily removed with the application of special shampoo, or by playing a lot of ambient trance music.
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81
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100
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159
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Junk
- According to legend, the Junk was a mortal ship named "The Peter O'Toole," which was given a memorial in the stars after it sank into a trench.
- Some astronomers insist on referring to the junk as "Smiling Triangle-Eye Face," omitting the lines that link the sails to the ship.
- In older astronomy books, the Junk is part of a larger constellation called the Batch.
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143
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150
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50
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juvenile delinquent orquette
- The most popular tattoo for juvenile delinquent orquettes is a butterfly with tribal designs on its wings and ORC LIFE underneath it.
- Contrary to her protestations, the orquettes' dad is a moderate-to-slightly-conservative libertarian, not a total fascist.
- The orquette still sleeps with her fuzzy purple teddy bear, but she'll cut you wtih[sic] her switchblade if you mention it.
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45
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100
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