Wizard Action Figure

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Familiar number: 73
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Wizard Action Figure
He is not a doll -- He'll turn you into a newt if you call him one.

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Ability: Heals, delevels, attacks the enemy, and acts as a combination Volleyball/Fairy at 1/3 weight.

Throne/Bjorn: Unknown

Hatchling: wizard action figure

Familiar-Specific Equipment: mint-condition magic wand

	Ultimate Cage Match	Scavenger Hunt	Obstacle Course	Hide and Seek

Mumming Trunk Abilities:

*Hover for details

Cannot breathe underwater

Combat Messages

• Regular Messages::

<name> notices your wounds, points his wand at you, and mutters "Neosporio Bandaidium!" You feel somewhat better.

You gain ?−10-? hit points.

<name> looks at you, looks at your opponent, and frowns. He points his wand at your opponent and shouts "Ittibittius Minimus!" Your opponent shrinks a bit.

<name> points his wand at your opponent and shouts "Coppertonio Absentium!" Your opponent's skin bubbles and turns red, dealing X damage.

<name> points his wand at your opponent and shouts "Klondikus Popsiculo!" A blast of icy air strikes your opponent for X damage.

<name> points his wand at your opponent and shouts "Oxybiscuitus!" A stinking cloud of green smoke forms around your opponent, dealing X damage.

<name> points his wand at your opponent and shouts "Echoum Mariahcareus!" A piercing wail fills the air, and your opponent cringes in terror, suffering X damage.

<name> points his wand at your opponent and shouts "Pennzoilio Quakerstateum!" A jet of motor oil drenches your opponent, dealing X damage.

<name> points his wand at your opponent and shouts "Slapstickio Acmeus!" A fast-moving anvil suddenly appears and hits your opponent in the head for X damage.

• Without a mint-condition magic wand equipped:

<name> waves his wand around and shouts "Prosperio Improvius!" He grins at you and dances around a little, but it seems sort of half-hearted.

• With mint-condition magic wand equipped:

<name> waves his shiny new wand around and shouts "Prosperio Improvius!" He beams and dances a jig, clearly pleased with himself.

<name>

• With lucky Tam O'Shanter equipped:

<name> points his wand at his Tam O'Shanter and chants "Chapeaueum Go-braughio!" The hat's plaid pattern forms a face, and the face winks at you.

• With miniature gravy-covered maypole equipped:

<name> points his wand at the maypole and chants "Festivioso Animatum!" In Loathing, maypole dances around you!

• With wax lips equipped:

<name> points his wand at the wax lips and chants "Zygomaticus Rictus!" The lips rise into the air and smile broadly

Notes

• Because a volleyball-type familiar's benefits scale as the square root of it's weight, 1/3 the poundage translates to 57.7% of the stats.
• Likewise, at 1/3 the weight a fairy would grant about half the item drop bonus.

References

• This familiar and its hatchling are a reference to the popular Harry Potter series of fantasy books, and the angsty teenage wizard that serves as the series' protagonist.
• Each spell the Wizard casts is a thinly-veiled reference to the spell's effect:
  • Chapeaueum Go-braughio
  • Coppertonio Absentium alludes to an absence of a popular sunblock lotion.
  • Echoum Mariahcareus, appropriately, echoes the voice of a certain pop singer.
  • Festivioso Animatum
  • Ittibittius Minimus
  • Klondikus Popsiculo refers to Klondike bars and popsicles.
  • Neosporio Bandaidium refers to Neosporin, a common antibacterial gel, and the Bandaid.
  • Oxybiscuitus refers to "Air Biscuits," a slang for flatulence.
  • Pennzoilio Quakerstateum contains the names of two major motor oil brands: Pennzoil and Quaker State.
  • Prosperio Improvius
  • Slapstickio Acmeus alludes to the type of slapstick comedy prevalent in Loony Tunes, which was famous for featuring Acme-branded merchandise such as anvils.
  • Zygomaticus Rictus refers to the zygomaticus muscle (used in smiling) and the word rictus, meaning "a gape or grin."