Seal Clubber/Old

The Seal Clubber class skill system was revamped on September 26, 2013. The following is an archive of the class page prior to the change.

Description

Seal Clubbers hail from the frigid Northlands, because one character class always hails from the frigid Northlands. They rely on their Muscle to survive.

Skills

Most Seal Clubber skills are learned from The Brotherhood of the Smackdown. All Seal Clubbers begin the game with Seal Clubbing Frenzy and Clobber.

Level	Skill	Description	Effect	Type	MP Cost	Train Cost
0	Seal Clubbing Frenzy	By clubbing a stuffed seal at your campsite, you can work yourself into a frenzy. Your Strongness will increase for a period of time.	Seal Clubbing Frenzy (+2 Muscle) (5 Adventures)	Non-combat	1	N/A
0	Clobber	Adventurer smash!	X damage	Combat	1	N/A
1	Hide of the Otter	Your skin becomes as thick as the skin of an otter, affording minor protection against enemy attacks.	+20 Damage Absorption	Passive	N/A	250 Meat
2	Claws of the Otter	You become infused with the fighting spirit of the Otter, adding 3 damage to all of your melee attacks.	+3 Bonus Weapon Damage	Passive	N/A	500 Meat
3	Tongue of the Otter	This skill gives you the ability to lick your wounds, healing 10-20 Hit Points and making you feel less beaten up.	Heals 10-20 HP Removes Beaten Up effect	Non-combat	7	1000 Meat
4	Thrust-Smack	This is a thrusting smack with your weapon. It will do double the usual amount of damage to your opponent if it connects.	2X Weapon Damage	Combat	3	1500 Meat
5	Super-Advanced Meatsmithing	You are a master of the Tenderizing Hammer. The echo of generations of Seal Clubbers reverberates in your muscles as you beat the meat into shape. Shapes, actually -- the shapes of powerful weapons.	Can smith weapons using ores. Can smith whips using skins. (Costs 1 adv.)	Passive	N/A	2500 Meat
6	Eye of the Stoat	This skill imbues you with the spirit of a tenacious and vicious (and incredibly accurate) stoat. Your Thrust-Smacks and Lunging Thrust-Smacks will hit more often, you'll fumble less often, and your chances of scoring critical hits will be improved.	Thrust-Smack and Lunging Thrust-Smack skills hit more often. Lunging Thrust-Smack deals more damage Fumble less frequently +.5X Critical Hit Chance (stacks with equipment bonuses)	Passive	N/A	3500 Meat
7	Hide of the Walrus	Your skin becomes as thick as the hide of a walrus, affording additional protection against enemy attacks.	+40 Damage Absorption	Passive	N/A	5000 Meat
8	Claws of the Walrus	You become one with the spirit of the War Walrus, adding 4 damage to each of your melee attacks.	+4 Bonus Weapon Damage	Passive	N/A	6500 Meat
9	Tongue of the Walrus	This skill gives you the ability to lick your wounds, healing 30-40 Hit Points and making you feel less beaten up.	Heals 30-40 HP Removes Beaten Up, Grilled, Half-Eaten Brain, Missing Fingers, Axe Wound, and Sunburned effects	Non-combat	10	8000 Meat
10	Lunging Thrust-Smack	This is a thrust-smack with a lunge added to it for good measure. If it connects, will do triple damage to your opponent.	3X Weapon Damage	Combat	8	10000 Meat
11	Rage of the Reindeer	This skill fills you with the rage of thousands of subjugated reindeer. This rage will make you stronger, especially when fighting guys with beards.	Rage of the Reindeer (+10% Muscle and +10 Bonus Weapon Damage) (10 Adventures)	Non-combat	10	12500 Meat
12	Double-Fisted Skull Smashing	This skill allows you to wield a one-handed weapon in each of your hands. It'll make it much easier for you to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of the women.	Allows dual-wielding	Passive	N/A	15000 Meat
13	Northern Exposure	This skill allows you to remember your upbringing in the Frigid Northlands. You'll be as snug as a bug in a rug, even when the wintry wind whips willy-nilly 'cross your nose. Think... the opposite of Sam McGee.	So-So Cold Resistance	Passive	N/A	20000 Meat
14	Musk of the Moose	By concentrating very hard, you're able to exude moose musk from your pores. The smell of the musk will make you more likely to encounter monsters when adventuring.	Musk of the Moose (Increases Combat Frequency) (10 Adventures)	Non-combat	10	25000 Meat
15	Pulverize	This skill allows you to smash certain pieces of equipment into their magical essences with a tenderizing hammer.	Can smash equipment into tasty, bite-sized chunks of the essence of the elements, including non-elemental damage. Grants access to The Malus of Forethought for Muscle classes.	Passive	N/A	30000 Meat
Spookyraven Manor Quest Skill
N/A	Snarl of the Timberwolf	This skill makes you all snarly and spooky. Like a timberwolf. Timberwolves, if you didn't know this, are both the snarliest and the spookiest animals north of the arctic circle.	Snarl of the Timberwolf (+10 Spooky Damage) (10 Adventures)	Non-combat	10	N/A
Sea Floor Skill
N/A	Harpoon!	While underwater, you're capable of fashioning any weapon into a makeshift harpoon, and throwing it with deadly accuracy.	X damage; can be used on land as well	Combat	30	N/A
Crimbo '09 Skill
N/A	Holiday Weight Gain	Everybody puts on a little extra weight during the holidays, but you've figured out how to do it any time of the year!	A Few Extra Pounds (+X HP) (10 Adventures)	Non-combat	10	N/A
The Traveling Trader Skill
N/A	Iron Palm Technique	By focusing your chi, or something, you've learned how to make the palms of your hands as hard as iron. The practical upshot is that you can hold swords by the blade and hit people with the hilt.	Iron Palms (Swords count as clubs) (intrinsic effect)	Non-combat	1	N/A

Levels

The amount of Muscle required to attain level L follows the formula Muscle = L² - 2L+ 5.

Class-Specific Powers

• +50% HP: Seal Clubbers (and Turtle Tamers) have an innate 50% bonus to their maximum HP.
• Infernal Seals: Seal Clubbers can use special seal figurines to fight powerful monsters a few times per day with no Adventure cost.
• 2-Handed Club Autohit: Seal Clubbers wielding a 2-handed club will always hit with Thrust-Smack and Lunging Thrust-Smack, regardless of monster defense.
• Seal Clubbers who have passed their guild's test can access The Smacketeria and, if they have learned Pulverize, use The Malus of Forethought.
• Seal Clubbers can cast Clobber in combat for 0 MP.
• The Adorable Seal Larva's HP-draining ability is more powerful if you are a Seal Clubber.

Class Gear

• Seal Clubbers start with a seal-skull helmet and a seal-clubbing club in their inventory.
• The Seal Clubber's Epic Weapon is Bjorn's Hammer.
• The Seal Clubber's Legendary Epic Weapon is the Hammer of Smiting.
• The Seal Clubber's Ultimate Legendary Epic Weapon is the Sledgehammer of the Vælkyr.
• The Seal Clubber's Epic Hat is the Scalp of Gorgolok.
• The Seal Clubber's Epic Pants are Krakrox's Loincloth.
• The Seal Clubber's Epic Accessory is the Claw of the Infernal Seal.
• The Seal Clubber's Legendary Regalia is the Legendary Regalia of the Seal Crusher.
• The Seal Clubber's Hardcore ascension reward is the stainless steel shillelagh.
• The Seal Clubber's Hardcore Oxygenarian ascension reward is the plexiglass pikestaff.
• The Seal Clubber's Bad Moon ascension reward is the Brimstone Bludgeon.
• The Seal Clubber's secret from the future reward is the monstrous monocle.
• The Seal Clubber's Hateful Habiliment item is the Cold Stone of Hatred.
• The Seal Clubber's Violent Vestments item is the Ass-Stompers of Violence.
• Seal Clubbers can get a sealskin drum from the Hobo Marketplace.
• The chintzy seal pendant confers its enchantment bonus only to Seal Clubbers.
• The Hyperborean Hobo Habiliments and its components confer their enchantment bonuses only to Seal Clubbers.
• The Seal Clubber's Nemesis Quest familiar is the Adorable Seal Larva.
• The Seal Clubber's level 30 trophy is the Scourge of Seals.

Notes

• Pre-NS13, Seal Clubbers started with a seal tooth and a seal-clubbing club in their inventory.
• Before ascension, Seal Clubbers could purchase the now-defunct Lunge-Smack as a level 2 skill from the guild trainer.
• Many Seal Clubbers use their high muscle stat to fight with melee attacks.

References

• The class description refers to the common cliché among role playing games of having at least one Northern, "savage" character class or race (barbarians, vikings, giants, so on).
• Clubbing seals is a stereotyped practice of northern fur trappers, and an image commonly seized upon by animal rights activists for the apparent brutality against an animal often considered cute and/or friendly.

Classes
Seal Clubber	Turtle Tamer	Pastamancer	Sauceror	Disco Bandit	Accordion Thief