Weapons (by power)

Name	Power	Requirements	Notes
Bigger Bugfinder Blade	200	85 muscle	All Attributes +9 Awarded to people who find a lot of bugs, or major ones
fetus-smashing club	200	85 muscle	Custom item
Bugfinder Blade	180	75 muscle	All Attributes +7 Awarded to people who find a few bugs
steaming evil	180	75 muscle	+3 Fire Damage +3 Stench Damage +3 Spooky Damage Only 13 of these exist, so you're probably not getting one
Totally Gay Claymore	169	69 muscle	Custom item
star crossbow	165	67 moxie	Moxie +8
star staff	165	67 muscle	Mysticality +8
star sword	165	67 muscle	Muscle +8
arse-shooting crossbow	160	65 moxie	All Attributes +15 Custom item
bugbear-smiting sword	150	60 muscle	Melee Damage +10 Muscle +10 Custom item
drywall axe	150	60 muscle	-
giant needle	150	60 muscle	Needed for a quest
heteroerotic frat-paddle	150	60 muscle	Custom item
Radio Free Foil	150	60 muscle	Part of the Radio Free Regalia outfit Intrinsic effect: Shiny Happy Weapon
ridiculously huge sword	140	55 muscle	+10 melee damage
ridiculously huge sword	140	55 muscle	Melee Damage +10
titanium assault umbrella	130	50 muscle	-
chrome crossbow	120	45 moxie	+3 adventures per day
chrome staff	120	45 muscle	+3 adventures per day
chrome sword	120	45 muscle	+3 adventures per day
denim axe	120	45 muscle	Part of a reward for finishing a quest
asbestos crossbow	110	40 moxie	Moxie +9
asbestos staff	110	40 muscle	Mysticality +9
asbestos sword	110	40 muscle	Muscle +9
batblade	110	40 muscle	Used to make Rewinged stab bat
iron pasta spoon	110	40 muscle	-
bow staff	100	35 muscle	Part of Bow Tux outfit Mysticality +5 Melee Damage +3 From Crimbo (eg You can probably forget about getting one of these)
Crimbo sword	100	35 muscle	Melee Damage +5 Part of Crimbo Duds outfit From Crimbo (eg You can probably forget about getting one of these)
linoleum crossbow	100	35 moxie	Maximum HP/MP +10
linoleum staff	100	35 muscle	Maximum MP +20
linoleum sword	100	35 muscle	Maximum HP +20
Mafia violin case	100	35 muscle	Muscle +20 Melee Damage +30
spiked femur	100	35 muscle	+3 Spooky Damage
icy-hot katana	90	30 muscle	Part of the Hot and Cold Running Ninja Suit outfit
kneecapping stick	90	30 muscle	3x chance of Critical Hit
vorpal blade	90	30 muscle	Part of the Yendorian Finery outfit 2x chance of Critical Hit
7-Foot Dwarven mattock	80	25 muscle	Part of Mining Gear outfit
crowbarrr	80	25 muscle	-
frozen nunchaku	80	25 muscle	Melee Damage +3
grave robbing shovel	80	25 muscle	-
Kentucky-fried meat crossbow	80	25 moxie	Moxie +7
Kentucky-fried meat staff	80	25 muscle	Mysticality +7
Kentucky-fried meat sword	80	25 muscle	Muscle +7
crazy bastard sword	75	22 muscle	Muscle +5 Melee Damage +15 3x chance of Critical Hit Ultra rare
homoerotic frat-paddle	70	20 muscle	Part of the Frat Boy Ensemble outfit
diamond-studded cane	60	15 muscle	Moxie +9 (Disco Bandits only)
eXtreme meat crossbow	60	15 moxie	-
eXtreme meat staff	60	15 muscle	Mysticality +5
eXtreme meat sword	60	15 muscle	Muscle +5
Gnollish autoplunger	60	15 muscle	-
Knob Goblin elite polearm	60	15 muscle	Part of the Knob Goblin Elite Guard Uniform outfit
sabre teeth	60	15 muscle	Used to make Sabre-toothed lime cub
5-Alarm Saucepan	50	10 muscle	Mysticality +7 Saucerors only
balloon sword	50	10 muscle	-
basic meat foon	50	10 muscle	Muscle +2 Melee Damage +3
Bjorn's Hammer	50	10 muscle	Muscle +7 (Seal Clubbers only)
can of maces	50	10 moxie	-
Disco Banjo	50	10 moxie	Moxie +7 (Disco Bandits only)
dripping meat crossbow	50	10 moxie	Moxie +3
dripping meat staff	50	10 muscle	Mysticality +3
dripping meat sword	50	10 muscle	Muscle +3
Pasta of Peril	50	10 muscle	Mysticality +7 (Pastamancers only)
pixel sword	50	10 muscle	Part of the 8-Bit Finery outfit
Rock and Roll Legend	50	10 moxie	Moxie +7 (Accordion Thieves only)
Turtleslinger	50	10 muscle	Muscle +7 (Turtle Tamers only)
basic meat spork	45	7 muscle	Muscle +2 Melee Damage +3
Gnollish nunchaku	45	7 muscle	A drop item that no longer drops, and so is considered rare
basic meat crossbow	40	5 moxie	Meatsmithing ingredient
basic meat staff	40	5 muscle	Meatsmithing ingredient
basic meat sword	40	5 muscle	Meatsmithing ingredient
rubber axe	40	5 muscle	-
white sword	40	5 muscle	-
Dr. Hobo's scalpel	35	2 muscle	Melee Damage +3 Part of a reward for a quest
Gnollish flyswatter	35	2 muscle	Needed for a quest
Gnollish plunger	35	2 muscle	-
spooky staff	35	2 muscle	Mysticality +3
cheap plastic bottle opener	30	-	-
foon	30	-	Meatsmithing ingredient
huge mirror shard	30	-	Quest item
little paper umbrella	30	-	Cocktailcrafting ingredient Given it's other uses, doubtful you'll ever use it as a weapon
skeleton bone	30	-	Used to make Spooky pirate skeleton
spooky stick	30	-	Used to make spooky staff
spork	30	-	Meatsmithing ingredient
stone banjo	25	-	-
wooden stakes	25	-	-
dirty hobo gloves	20	-	+1 Stench Damage
hippo whip	20	-	+5 to Monster Level
Knob Goblin tongs	20	-	Required for a quest
penguin whip	20	-	+3% Meat from Monsters
slingshot	20	-	-
sweet ninja sword	20	-	-
yak whip	20	-	Successful hit weakens opponent
asparagus knife	15	-	+1 Stench Damage
Knob Goblin scimitar	15	-	-
big stick	10	-	Meatsmithing ingredient
cool whip	10	-	Required for a quest
pasta spoon	10	-	-
saucepan	10	-	-
seal-clubbing club	10	-	-
stolen accordion	10	-	-
tiny plastic sword	10	-	Cocktailcrafting ingredient Given it's other uses, doubtful you'll ever use it as a weapon