Video Game Minion (turtle)

Turtle minion
Monster ID	unknown
Locations	The GameInformPowerDailyPro Dungeon
Hit Points	75% of Defense
Attack	Scales with player's Moxie
Defense	Scales with player's Muscle
Initiative	0
Meat	None
Phylum	construct
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	body
Drops	2 GIPDP items
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a turtle minion

A large turtle is approaching you, rather slowly. Honestly, it's kind of a pain waiting for it. I mean, you could just leave, right? But then you'd miss out on XP and loot, so you might as well wait, and anyway it's not like you've got a lot else going on. You look at your watch, decide to give it five more minutes, and then spend four minutes humming and tapping your foot until it arrives.

or

Your path is blocked by a very large turtle. Large enough that you could hang out in his shell, if you wanted. Of course, you'd have to get the turtle out first. It's definitely too cramped in there for the both of you. Actually, from the look the turtle is giving you, it seems that he feels the same way regarding you, except applied to a much larger area of space.

or

As you walk past a large round boulder, a head pops out of the side of it and tries to bite you! I guess it wasn't a boulder after all, but a turtle! Honestly, jeez, you should have seen that coming. Like, as soon as I mentioned a big round boulder out of nowhere, you should have been saying "I bet that's a turtle or something". If this was a cartoon you totally would have known that was a turtle, although to be fair you would have seen that it was a slightly different color than the background art in that case.

Hit Message(s):

He says, "not that it matters; nothing matters," and callously stomps you with a big flat foot. Ooh! Eek! Eek! Ouch!

He loggerheads you with his water-logged head. Ow! Oof! Eek! Ow!

He says, "Cowabunga!" and hits you with some nunchucks. Ugh! Ooh! Argh! Argh!

His shell starts flashing all the colors of the rainbow, and he throws it at you. You can't dodge or deflect it, and it whacks you in the foot. Ouch! Argh! Ow! Eek!

Critical Hit Message:

not known

Miss Message(s):

He says, "not that it matters; nothing matters." You mock him for being emo.

He says, "Reaganomics!" and ducks into a nearby sewer.

He tries to stomp on you and kick you out of your shell, but you point out you're already quite gregarious.

He says, "Noggin!" and tries to headbutt you, but you dodge.

He jumps out of his shell and wings it at you, but you hop onto it and send it careening back.

He snaps at you with his leathery beak, but you tell him to snap out of it.

Fumble Message:

not known

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After Combat

You acquire... something. [[Data:{{{item}}}]]

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Occurs at The GameInformPowerDailyPro Dungeon.

Notes

• Will drop up to 1 of each of the items selected to drop on the level.
• The name, image, and introduction text of this monster are all randomly selected:
  • Names follow the pattern of: ?
  • Introductions are listed above.
  • Images are randomly any of the following:

References

• "It doesn't matter" and "Nothing matters" are said by Morla, the Ancient one, a giant turtle in Neverending Story.
• "Cowabunga!" and nunchucks are references to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; "Reganomics!" is a quote from a Robot Chicken parody of the TMNT.
• The turtle flinging its shell at you and the shell becoming invincible by flashing different colors are both references to Super Mario World.

GameInformPowerDailyPro Minion Drops

Type Level 1 Level 2 Level 3 Booze tankard of ale bottle of wine shining goblet Food slice of pizza hamburger whole roasted chicken Combat Item vial of holy water round blue bomb fireball Meat Generator huge gold coin dollar-sign bag massive gemstone HP Restorer cartoon heart red potion extra-strength red potion MP Restorer gold star blue potion fancy blue potion Weapon iron dagger steel sword flaming sword Helm green cloth cap iron helmet gold crown