June cleaver

June cleaver

Your very own cleaver, just like mom used to butcher with.

Type: weapon (1-handed cleaver)
Damage: 10 - 20
Cannot be traded or discarded

All Attributes +10%
Regenerate 6-8 HP and MP per adventure
+5 Adventure(s) per day when equipped
+X Spooky Damage
+X Stench Damage
+X Hot Damage
+X Cold Damage
+X Sleaze Damage

Cannot miss

Gets stronger the more you use it

(In-game plural: June cleavers)

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Item number: 10920
Description ID: 330396747
View in-game: view

refreshedit data

Obtained From

Items

packaged June cleaver

Notes

• "Cannot miss" means will not hit a glancing blow, and will not fumble (unless some effect forces you to fumble).
  • Monsters with special evasion abilities might still use them.
• At rollover, elemental damage enchantments reset to +1 each.
• After combat, gains +1 bonus damage to a "random" elemental damage enchantment, and displays a message about the element's color:
  • As the battle ends, your cleaver flashes bright (color).
  • Out of the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of bright (color) light shining from your cleaver.
  • Your cleaver sparkles with a startling (color) color.
  • You notice a glint of (color) on the blade of your cleaver.
• The elemental enchantments will tend to stay close to equal in power.
• Is automatically placed in your inventory for you at the beginning of your run, with the message:

  Therefore an adventurer shall leave his sword and shield, and shall cleave unto his cleaver: they shall be of one flesh. -Loathingviticus 4:20

  You acquire an item: June cleaver

Causes Strange Daydreams

At the end of any resolved combat (win/lose/run away), the cleaver contributes to a hidden progress counter. At 60 progress, a free cleaver-specific noncombat encounter is ready.

• Each encounter's first three choices reset progress to 0.
• Choosing instead to Snap out of it! declines the encounter, and resets progress to 45.
  • This choice stops appearing for the day after you've taken it 5 times.
• The cleaver gains 60, 10, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2... progress per fight, diminishing based on how many cleaver encounters you've accepted today.
• The cleaver "remembers" the last six cleaver encounters you've seen, whether they were skipped or not. Your next random cleaver encounter will never be one of the immediately previous six.

Noncombat Adventures	Options	Results	Notes
Aunts not Ants	Act rudely so they leave!	You gain 150 Smarm.
	Be on your best behavior so you can go later.	You gain 250 Strongness.
	Sneak out the back door.	You acquire an effect: Ashamed (duration: 30 Adventures)	+10 Stats Per Fight Muscle -20% Mysticality -20% Moxie -20%
Bath Time	Use Mother's hair dryer and towels to dry things up.	You gain 150 Fortitude. You acquire an item: gob of wet hair
	Confess to Mother and Father.	You acquire an effect: Wholesomely Resolved (duration: 30 Adventures)	So-So Spooky Resistance (+2) So-So Stench Resistance (+2) So-So Sleaze Resistance (+2) Damage Reduction: 15
	Pretend you don't notice.	You acquire an effect: Kinda Damp (duration: 30 Adventures)	Serious Hot Resistance (+3) +50% Combat Initiative
Beware of Aligator	Come clean to Dad and let him take it to the zoo.	You acquire an effect: Yapping Pal (duration: 30 Adventures)	+20 to Monster Level
	Claim the housekeeper is drunk.	You acquire an item: Dad's brandy	1-potency awesome booze
	Ignore the situation and charge your friends admission to see the alligator.	You gain 1,500 Meat.
Delicious Sprouts	Just eat 'em.	You gain 250 Magicalness.
	Hide them in your napkin.	You acquire an item: guilty sprout	1-fullness good food
	Go to your room.	You gain 125 Strongness.
Hypnotic Master	Try it on your brother.	You acquire an item: mother's necklace	Accessory +3 Adventure(s) per day when equipped Never Fumble Rest at your campsite, 5 times per day without using an Adventure (This works even when it isn't equipped)
	Try it on that wiseacre, Eddie.	You gain 250 Strongness.
	Try it on yourself.	You acquire an effect: ... something (duration: 30 Adventures)[[Data:{{{effect}}}]] You acquire an effect: ... something (duration: 30 Adventures)[[Data:{{{effect}}}]]	(30 each of 2-5 random effects)
Lost and Found	Cash in that savings bond from your Aunt!	You acquire an item: savings bond	Potion, gives (30 Earning Interest): +50% Meat from Monsters
	Challenge Lumpy's accusations.	You acquire an effect: Beaten Up (duration: 3 Adventures) You gain 100 Beefiness. You gain 250 Meat.
	Tell Father what happened.	You gain 250 Magicalness.
Poetic Justice	Hand in the poem your brother wrote	You gain 250 Sarcasm.
	Admit that you didn't write anything	You gain 125 Magicalness.
	Fake an injury on the playground	You acquire an effect: Beaten Up (duration: 5 Adventures) You gain 5 Adventures.
Summer Days	Sneak away and watch the movie at a nearby drive-in.	You acquire an item: trampled ticket stub	Potion, gives (30 Feeling Sneaky): Monsters will be less attracted to you
	Suck it up and go fishing.	You acquire an item: fire-roasted lake trout	1-fullness good food, gives (50 Fire-Roasted Feelings): Serious Cold Resistance (+3) +15 Hot Damage
	Make a cool fort on the small island in the lake.	You gain 250 Sarcasm.
Teacher's Pet	Ignore the situation.	You acquire an effect: Teacher's Pet (duration: 30 Adventures)	So-So Sleaze Resistance (+2) Damage Absorption +50 Damage Reduction: 5
	Confess your love to Miss Teacher!	You acquire an item: teacher's pen	Accessory +3 Stat(s) Per Fight +2 Familiar Experience Per Combat
	Prank the teacher to get your friends off your case.	You gain 125 Muscleboundness.

Messages

• Weapon-Specific Hit Messages:

You smack your opponent with the handle of your cleaver. It's not as sharp as the blade, but it still deals X damage. BOINK! BIFF! ZAP!

You lay your opponent on a cutting board and whack them with your cleaver, dealing X damage. POW! BONK! BIFF!

You cleave your foe for X damage. WHACK! BAM! SPLAT!

References

• June Cleaver is the name of the mother character in Leave It to Beaver, a black-and-white television sitcom that originally ran from 1957 to 1963.
• The Strange Daydreams themselves are all references to specific episodes of this sitcom, written from the perspective of Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver. See the choice adventures' wiki pages for details.

Collection

• 🥇: Doomscape (#397974), Misha_Z (#1705440), Terry P (#2162777), lACEy jONEs (#2993889) - 1

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