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Dry noodle cooking can be broken down into several types: basic, saucy, meins, lasagnas, and wontons.
{{rewrite|Clarify numbers, add missing basic noodle / reagent dishes}}
 
[[Dry noodle]] cooking can be broken down into several types: basic, saucy, meins, lasagnas, and wontons.


==Basic Dry Noodle==
==Basic Dry Noodle==
{| cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" border="1" style="text-align:center"
The most basic pasta dishes only require [[pastamastery]] to create, offering quick and easy access to solid food options by cooking [[dry noodles]] with one other ingredient. These all take only 1 adventure to cook (without the [[chef-in-the-box]] or another method of [[Free Crafting Priority|free crafting]]). Although these are generally weaker than more advanced dishes, those also require more skills, adventures and resources to cook. This makes these dishes perfect for aspiring adventurers with few to no skills learned, ensuring reasonable adventure and substat gains for little investment. They are primarily [[:category:Good Food|Good quality]] food dishes, while the best three dishes with the highest level requirements are [[:category:Awesome Food|Awesome quality]].
|-
 
! Food name
{{Basic Pasta}}
! Cook noodles with
 
! Adventures
The 4 fullness dishes primarily have ingredients easily found in early locations such as [[The Bat Hole]] and [[Cobb's Knob]], making them easy to access early on. They give an average of 12 adventures (3 per fullness), and offer 20-30 substats in a targeted stat per dish consumed. Covering 12 of one's typical 15 fullness, one will need some other foods or a smaller pasta dish to supplement this diet.
! Stat gains
Interestingly, the dishes with a lower level requirement are the ones with slightly better substat yields (20-30 vs 20-25).
! Fullness
The one exception of these, [[pr0n m4nic0tti]], is an old recipe made from an [[pr0n legs|ingredient]] only obtainable after completing the level 9 quest, and offers slightly worse adventure yields than the other comparable pasta dishes listed here.
|-
 
| [[boring spaghetti]]
The better basic pasta dishes are cooked with ingredients found during the level 7 and level 9 quests, and at 5 fullness, three of these can fully cover your diet for the day. Pasta cooked with ingredients found from [[The Cyrpt]] yield 16-19 adventures (3.5 adventures per fullness) and 20-30 substats gains for a targeted stat, while pasta that uses ingredients from [[The Highlands]] yield 18-22 adventures (4 adventure per fullness) and 25-30 substats gains for one stat.
| [[tomato]]
An interesting exception is the [[ghuol guolash]], which can be potentially obtained directly from the [[gluttonous ghuol]] in [[The Cyrpt]] without the need to cook them, or even have [[Pastamastery]] at all.
| 4-11
| 6-8 {{muscle}},<br/>6-8 {{mysticality}},<br/>6-8 {{moxie}}
| 3
|-
| [[delicious noodles]]
| [[herbs]]
| 4-12
| 9-25 {{moxie}}
| 3
|-
| [[spicy noodles]]
| [[spices]]
| 6-12
| -
| 3
|-
| [[delicious spicy noodles]]
| [[secret blend of herbs and spices]]
| 7-15
| 29-33 {{mysticality}}
| 3
|-
| [[painful penne pasta]]
| [[jabañero pepper]]
| 5-13
| 17-20 {{muscle}}&nbsp;&dagger;
| 3
|-
| [[pr0n m4nic0tti]]
| [[pr0n legs]]
| 8-14
| 28-30 {{moxie}}
| 4
|-
| [[ravioli della hippy]]
| [[wad of tofu]]
| 4-12
| 19-23 {{mysticality}}
| 3
|}
&dagger; painful penne pasta will cause you to lose 20-23 HP.


Of these, the best is clearly the delicious spicy noodles offering 10.3 stats per fullness and 3.7 adventures per fullness.  However, the difficulty with these is it requires spices and herbs.  Spices may be difficult to obtain. Additionally, one could make significantly better chow meins with the [[herbs]] and [[spices]].
The 3 fullness noodles are largely old & defunct recipes, offering mediocre adventures & stat gains (often less than 3 adventures per fullness), while having primary ingredients that are generally out of the way and inconvenient to obtain. While a couple dishes like [[delicious noodles]] and [[painful penne pasta]] have ingredients easily acquired from [[The Hippy Store|npc]] [[The Hermitage|stores]], their gains remain inferior to more recently implemented dishes, from which the ingredients are likely to be obtained while questing anyway.


Failing easy access to [[secret blend of herbs and spices|secret blends]] the next best for adventures at 3.2 adventures per fullness and with acceptable stats at 6.0 stats per fullness is the [[painful penne pasta]], though this also requires access to [[The Hermitage|the hermit]] for the [[jabañero pepper]].
==[[Reagent dish|Reagent Dishes]]==
There are a variety of saucey noodle dishes that can be made, the ingredients for most come from a variety of adventuring location, of varying stats as well as availability. They will all require 2 adventures to cook (without the [[chef-in-the-box]] or another method of [[Free Crafting Priority|free crafting]]).


Without touching the hermit, [[boring spaghetti]] and [[ravioli della hippy]] both offer 7.0 stats per fullness.  [[boring spaghetti|Spaghetti]] offers 2.5 adventures per fullness while [[ravioli della hippy]] is 2.7 adventures per fullness.  The advantage of [[boring spaghetti]] is its easy [[tomato]] drops at low levels and that one can buy tomatoes from [[The Hippy Store|the hippy store]] later in the game if needed.
As these are all [[:Category:Saucy_Foods|saucy foods]], they benefit from the [[Saucemaven]] skill; with this skill learned, they will yield an additional 5 adventures as a [[Pastamancer]] or [[Sauceror]], while other classes will get an additional 3 adventures.


[[Delicious noodles]] are a reasonable choice if one is trying to work on moxie offering slightly better adventures per fullness at 2.8, though lower stats per fullness at 5.7.
{{Reagent Pasta}}


[[Pr0n m4nic0tti]] is now a viable choice with 2.8 adventures per fullness and 7.X stats per fullness.
The 4 [[fullness]] dishes are made with ingredients found in the [[Copse of the Deep Fat Friars]], and are easiest to acquire thanks to their convenience. They offer low, balanced stat gains but the lowest adventure gains (3.125 per fullness).


==[[Reagent dish]]es (Saucy dry noodles)==
The 5 [[fullness]] dishes are made with ingredients from [[Mt. McLargeHuge]]. They offer medium stat gains towards a single stat and moderate adventure gains (3.7 per fullness), but the ingredients are available somewhat later and generally aren't convenient to acquire (particularly since any [[goat cheese]] is likely used for the [[Mt. McLargeHuge Quest]]). Three of these will fill your stomach with ease (four with [[Stomach of Steel]]).
{|border="2" cellpadding=5 cellspacing=0 style="border-collapse:collapse; margin:0em 0em 1em 1em;"
|-
! Food name
! Base food item
! Sauce name
! Stat gain
|-
| [[fettucini Inconnu]]
| [[goat cheese]]
| [[fancy schmancy cheese sauce]]
| 47 - 52 {{moxie}}
|-
| [[gnocchetti di Nietzsche]]
| [[knob mushroom]]
| [[Himalayan Hidalgo sauce]]
| 47 - 52 {{mysticality}}
|-
| [[spaghetti with Skullheads]]
| [[Knob sausage]]
| [[sauce of the ages]]
| 47 - 52 {{muscle}}
|-
| [[Hell ramen]]
| [[Hellion cube]]
| [[Hell broth]]
| 23 - 28 in each stat and meat
|-
|}


There are four saucy dry noodles, of which three are about the same - one working for each stat.  All sauce dishes are 6 [[fullness]] items meaning that without [[Stomach of Steel]], one can only eat two a day. With [[Stomach of Steel]], one is able to eat three per day.
There are some 6 [[fullness]] dishes that have somewhat unusual availability (primarily [[Cobb's Knob Kitchens]], which is rather out of the way), but offer the strongest stat and adventure gains (4.08 per fullness) with a fairly low level requirement. Those with access to the [[Degrassi Knoll Mushroom Fields]] can grow multiple {{plural|Knob mushroom}} by the second day of an ascension, offering a convenient way to cook one of the two dishes en mass. You will need other foods to supplement this diet, however, due to the inevitable leftover stomach space.


[[Hell ramen]] is the best of the set with the most stats per fullness at 12.8.  The other three offer 8.3 stats per fullness, though in a particular area. This makes them choice dishes for [[Stat Days]] where the 25% bonus can be used with best efficiency.
One exception is the [[spaghetti con calaveras]], which has the same yields as the other 6 fullness dishes, but requires learning the recipe from the [[April Shower]]. Those with access to the [[Gno-Mart]] can purchase a [[marzipan skull]] to cook this with relative ease.


All Sauce dishes offer about 4.2 adventures per fullness.
Another exception is the [[haunted Hell ramen]], an improved [[Hell ramen]] that also provides a useful [[Haunted Stomach|buff]]. Those with access to the [[Daily Loathing Ballot]] are sometimes able to fight the [[angry ghost]]s that drop the necessary [[ghostly ectoplasm]] to make this dish.


==[[Lo mein]]s==
==[[Lo mein]]s==
{| cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" border="1px"
{{Lo Mein}}
|-
[[Lo mein]]s are the lower tier of the two meins. They can be cooked using [[Pastamastery]] by cooking [[dry noodles]] with a first-tier stir fry (the base ingredient cooked with a [[secret blend of herbs and spices]]). With access to the [[Mushroom Fields]], the mushroom lo meins are superior to most non-savory pasta dishes, especially since the mushrooms only cost 30-50 meat (and a day). It does, however, require two adventures to cook instead of one (without the [[chef-in-the-box]] or another method of [[Free Crafting Priority|free crafting]]), as well as access to [[spices]] for the base [[stir-fry]].
! Lo Mein
 
! Base Ingredient
==Scrumdiddlyumptious Noodles==
! Adventures
Noodles in this category technically require [[savory dry noodles]], which includes [[MSG]]. They require sauces made with the [[The Way of Sauce|Way of Sauce]] skill and {{plural|scrumdiddlyumptious solution}} and will require [[Transcendental Noodlecraft]] to complete.
! Stat gains
! Fullness
|-
| [[asparagus lo mein]]
| [[asparagus stir-fry]]
| 9-16
| 10-14 {{muscle}}, 12-16 {{mysticality}}.
| 3
|-
| [[Knob lo mein]]
| [[Knob stir-fry]]
| 14-20
| 30-34 {{mysticality}}
| 4
|-
| [[Knoll lo mein]]
| [[Knoll stir-fry]]
| 14-21
| 30-34 {{muscle}}
| 4
|-
| [[olive lo mein]]
| [[olive stir-fry]]
| 9-16
| 10-14 {{muscle}}, 10-14 {{moxie}}
| 3
|-
| [[spooky lo mein]]
| [[spooky stir-fry]]
| 14-21
| 30-34 {{moxie}}
| 4
|}


[[Lo mein]]s are the lowest tier of all three meins. They can be cooked using [[Pastamastery]] by cooking [[dry noodles] with a first-tier stir fry (the base ingredient cooking with a [[secret blend of herbs and spices]]. [[The Wok of Ages]] is not required.
As these are all [[:Category:Saucy_Foods|saucy foods]], they benefit from the [[Saucemaven]] skill; with this skill learned, they will yield an additional 5 adventures as a [[Pastamancer]] or [[Sauceror]], while other classes will get an additional 3 adventures.


==[[Chow mein]]==
{{Scrumdiddlyumptious Noodles}}
{|border="2" cellpadding=5 cellspacing=0 style="border-collapse:collapse; margin:0em 0em 1em 1em;"
|-
! Food name
! Stir-fry
! Protein
! Adventures
! Stat Gains
! Fullness
|-
| [[tofu chow mein]]
| [[asparagus stir-fry]]
| [[wad of tofu]]
| 11-19
| 18-22 {{muscle}}, 20-25 {{mysticality}}
| 3
|-
| [[pr0n chow mein]]
| [[olive stir-fry]]
| [[pr0n legs]]
| 16-24
| 20-26 {{muscle}}, 20-26 {{moxie}}
| 4
|-
| [[Knob sausage chow mein]]
| [[Knoll stir-fry]]
| [[Knob sausage]]
| 21-29
| 72-76 {{muscle}}
| 5
|-
| [[bat wing chow mein]]
| [[Knob stir-fry]]
| [[bat wing]]
| 21-29
| 70-75 {{mysticality}}
| 5
|-
| [[rat appendix chow mein]]
| [[spooky stir-fry]]
| [[rat appendix]]
| 21-29
| 70-75 {{moxie}}
| 5
|}


The chow mein dishes are some of the best foods in the Kingdom. They all require a [[secret blend of herbs and spices]], [[dry noodles]], [[MSG]] and one or two other ingredients.  You need [[Pastamastery]] to summon the dry noodles and [[Transcendental Noodlecraft]] to create chow mein. Generally, the tofu and pr0n chow meins are considered separate from the other chow meins, due to their lower fullness, lower stat boosts, and irregular recipes.
Scrumdiddlyumptious Noodles replaced [[chow mein]] as an intermediate noodle between lo mein and hi mein. Although they require 3 adventures to cook (without the [[chef-in-the-box]] or another method of [[Free Crafting Priority|free crafting]]), the primary ingredients are readily available within [[The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky]] and [[The Hidden City]] (both of which are relevant to [[The Council of Loathing|Council of Loathing]] quests). This makes them a viable late-game food option for [[Pastamancer|Pastamancers]], [[Sauceror|Saucerors]] and [[Accordion Thief|Accordion Thieves]] (due to their access to [[Gouda's Grimoire and Grocery]]) in a [[Hardcore]] ascension, particularly within [[Standard restrictions]].


==[[Hi mein]]s==
==[[Hi mein]]s==
{| cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" border="1px"
{|border="2" cellpadding=5 cellspacing=0 style="border-collapse:collapse; margin:0em 0em 1em 1em; text-align:center;"
|-
|-
! Hi Mein
! Hi Mein
! Base Sauce
! Base Sauce
! Pulverize a... (Lvl available)
! Adventures
! Adventures
! [[Muscle]]
! [[Muscle]]
Line 201: Line 59:
! Fullness
! Fullness
|-
|-
| [[cold hi mein]]
| style="background-color: #FFEEEE" | {{StackItem|cold hi mein}}
| [[cold and sour sauce]]
| {{StackItem|cold and sour sauce}}
| 21-29
| {{StackItem|frozen nunchaku}} (8)
| 24-27
| 70-75
| 70-75
| 30-35
| 30-35
Line 209: Line 68:
| 5
| 5
|-
|-
| [[hot hi mein]]
| style="background-color: #FFEEEE" | {{StackItem|hot hi mein}}
| [[hot and sour sauce]]
| {{StackItem|hot and sour sauce}}
| 21-29
| {{StackItem|demon buckler}} (6)
| 24-27
| 70-75
| 70-75
| 15-20
| 15-20
Line 217: Line 77:
| 5
| 5
|-
|-
| [[sleazy hi mein]]
| style="background-color: #EEFFEE" | {{StackItem|sleazy hi mein}}
| [[sleazy and sour sauce]]
| {{StackItem|sleazy and sour sauce}}
| 21-29
| {{StackItem|buffalo blade}} (6)
| 24-27
| 25-30
| 25-30
| 25-30
| 25-30
Line 225: Line 86:
| 5
| 5
|-
|-
| [[spooky hi mein]]
| style="background-color: #EEEEFF" | {{StackItem|spooky hi mein}}
| [[spooky and sour sauce]]
| {{StackItem|spooky and sour sauce}}
| 21-29
| {{StackItem|spiked femur}} (6)
| 24-27
| 15-20
| 15-20
| 70-75
| 70-75
Line 233: Line 95:
| 5
| 5
|-
|-
| [[stinky hi mein]]
| style="background-color: #EEEEFF" | {{StackItem|stinky hi mein}}
| [[stench and sour sauce]]
| {{StackItem|stench and sour sauce}}
| 21-29
| {{StackItem|lihc face}} (7)
| 24-27
| 30-35
| 30-35
| 70-75
| 70-75
Line 242: Line 105:
|}
|}


Hi meins are an improved type of [[chow mein]]. They are created by kicking elemental sour sauces up a notch in [[The Wok of Ages]]. [[Transcendental Noodlecraft]] is required to access [[The Wok of Ages]]. [[The Way of Sauce]] is required to make the elemental sour sauces. You must be able to [[Pulverize]] equipment to get half of the ingredients for the elemental sour sauces.
Hi meins are an improved type of savory pasta. They are created by cooking elemental sour sauces with [[savory dry noodles]]. The skill [[Transcendental Noodlecraft]] and the item [[MSG]] are required to create savory dry noodles. [[The Way of Sauce]] is required to make the elemental sour sauces. You must be able to [[Pulverize]] equipment to get half of the ingredients for the elemental sour sauces, or buy them at the mall which means being out of Ronin.
 
As these are all [[:Category:Saucy_Foods|saucy foods]], they benefit from the [[Saucemaven]] skill; with this skill learned, they will yield an additional 5 adventures as a [[Pastamancer]] or [[Sauceror]], while other classes will get an additional 3 adventures.


There are several disadvantages to hi meins that offset their advantages. Access to [[The Malus of Forethought]] is only available to Muscle classes, while [[The Wok of Ages]] is only accessible to Mysticality classes. Therefore, characters in [[Hardcore]] will have to belong to a Mystical class to make and consume hi mein, and will have to wait until they've found and smashed equipment good enough to produce elemental nuggets without the Malus' special combining properties.
There are several disadvantages to hi meins that offset their advantages. Access to [[The Malus of Forethought]] is only available to Muscle classes, while [[MSG]] can only be bought by Mysticality classes or Accordion Thieves. Additionally, hi meins all have a level requirement of 12, making them solidly an aftercore food. Players who remain in [[Hardcore]] despite being over level 12, perhaps for [[PvP]], will find themselves unable to craft them at all, unless they happen to be [[Turtle Tamer]]s willing to enter [[Hobopolis]] to tame some {{plural|boxcar turtle}}.


==[[Lasagna]]s==
==[[Lasagna]]s==
{| cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" border="1px"
{|border="2" cellpadding=5 cellspacing=0 style="border-collapse:collapse; margin:0em 0em 1em 1em; text-align:center;"
|- style="background-color: #EEEEEE"
|- style="background-color: #EEEEEE"
! Lasagna
! Base Food
! Base Food
! Seasoning
! Seasoning
! Casserole
! Casserole
! Lasagna
! Adventures
! Adventures
! Stat Gains
! Stat Gains
! Fullness
! Fullness
|-
|-
| [[filet of tangy gnat ("fotelif")]]
| style="background-color: #FFDDDD" | {{StackItem|gnat lasagna}}
| [[ancient spice]]
| {{StackItem|filet of tangy gnat ("fotelif")}}
| [[gnatloaf casserole]]
| {{StackItem|ancient spice}}
| [[Gnat lasagna]]
| {{StackItem|gnatloaf casserole}}
| 11-18
| 12-16
| 45-55 {{muscle}}
| 45-55 {{muscle}}
| 3
| 3
|-
|-
| [[long pork]]
| style="background-color: #DDDDFF" | {{StackItem|long pork lasagna}}
| [[black pepper]]
| {{StackItem|long pork}}
| [[long pork casserole]]
| {{StackItem|black pepper}}
| [[long pork lasagna]]
| {{StackItem|long pork casserole}}
| 11-18
| 12-16
| 45-55 {{mysticality}}
| 45-55 {{mysticality}}
| 3
| 3
|-
|-
| [[displaced fish]]
| style="background-color: #DDFFDD" | {{StackItem|fishy fish lasagna}}
| [[dehydrated caviar]]
| {{StackItem|displaced fish}}
| [[fishy fish casserole]]
| {{StackItem|dehydrated caviar}}
| [[fishy fish lasagna]]
| {{StackItem|fishy fish casserole}}
| 11-18
| 12-16
| 45-55 {{moxie}}
| 45-55 {{moxie}}
| 3
| 3
|}
|}


Lasagnas are slightly less effective than chow meins and can not they be eaten until level 11. Lasagnas only require 2 ingredients, compared to 4 for the chow meins. However, each lasagna includes ingredients not available until level 11. [[The Wok of Ages]] is required.
Lasagnas (on their own) are slightly less effective than scrumdiddlyumptious noodles and they can not be eaten until level 10. Lasagnas only require 2 ingredients, compared to the 4 needed for scrumdiddlyumptious noodles (including the need for [[savory dry noodles]]). However, each lasagna includes ingredients not available until level 11.
 
Lasagna grants an extra 5 adventures (increased to 17-21) if the [[Gar-ish]] effect is active (except on Mondays).


==Wontons==
==Wontons==
{| cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" border="1px"  
{|border="2" cellpadding=5 cellspacing=0 style="border-collapse:collapse; margin:0em 0em 1em 1em; text-align:center;"
|- style="background-color: #EEEEEE"
|- style="background-color: #EEEEEE"
! Wonton
! McMillicancuddy Item
! McMillicancuddy Item
! Base Food
! Base Food
! Food
! Food
! Wonton
! Adventures
! Adventures
! [[Muscle]]
! Stats
! [[Mysticality]]
! Adv/Full
! [[Moxie]]
! Fullness
! Fullness
! Level
|-
|-
| [[McMillicancuddy's Special Lager]]
| style="background-color: #FFDDDD" | {{StackItem|sausage wonton}}
| [[frat brats]]
| {{StackItem|McMillicancuddy's Special Lager}}
| [[beer basted brat]]
| {{StackItem|frat brats}}
| [[sausage wonton]]
| {{StackItem|beer basted brat}}
| 12-18
| 12-18
| 50-80
| 50-80 {{muscle}},<br/>20-30 {{mysticality}},<br/>20-30 {{moxie}}
| 20-30
| 5
| 20-30
| 3
| 3
| 12
|-
|-
| [[megatofu]]
| style="background-color: #DDDDFF" | {{StackItem|tofu wonton}}
| [[mixed wildflower greens]]
| {{StackItem|megatofu}}
| [[super salad]]
| {{StackItem|mixed wildflower greens}}
| [[tofu wonton]]
| {{StackItem|super salad}}
| 11-18
| 11-18
| 20-30
| 20-30 {{muscle}},<br/>50-80 {{mysticality}},<br/>20-30 {{moxie}}
| 50-80
| 4.83
| 20-30
| 3
| 3
| 12
|}
|}


Each wonton requires an ingredient available only after completing the [[Defowl the Farm]] quest during level 12 and either visiting the farm or obtaining an instant rations kit. The [[sausage wonton]], which is comparable to a chow mein, is slightly better than the [[tofu wonton]], which is comparable with the lasagna. As with the lasagna, they only require 2 ingredients, and may be more helpful in Aftercore than a regular run. [[The Wok of Ages]] is required.
Each wonton requires an ingredient available only after completing the [[Defowl the Farm]] quest during level 12 and either visiting the farm or obtaining an instant rations kit. The [[sausage wonton]], which is comparable to a chow mein, is slightly better than the [[tofu wonton]], which is comparable with the lasagna. As with the lasagna, they only require 2 ingredients, and may be more helpful in Aftercore than a regular run.
 
=Obsolete Items=
{{retired}}
The items below used to be part of the noodle strategy before being removed from the game.
==[[Chow mein]]==
{|border="2" cellpadding=5 cellspacing=0 style="border-collapse:collapse; margin:0em 0em 1em 1em; text-align:center;"
|-
! Food name
! Stir-fry
! Protein
! Adventures
! Stat Gains
! Fullness
|-
| style="background-color: #DDDDDD" | {{StackItem|tofu chow mein}}
| {{StackItem|asparagus stir-fry}}
| {{StackItem|wad of tofu}}
| 11-19
| 18-22 {{muscle}}<br/>20-25 {{mysticality}}
| 3
|-
| style="background-color: #DDDDDD" | {{StackItem|pr0n chow mein}}
| {{StackItem|olive stir-fry}}
| {{StackItem|pr0n legs}}
| 16-24
| 20-26 {{muscle}}<br/>20-26 {{moxie}}
| 4
|-
| style="background-color: #FFDDDD" | {{StackItem|Knob sausage chow mein}}
| {{StackItem|Knoll stir-fry}}
| {{StackItem|Knob sausage}}
| 21-28
| 72-76 {{muscle}}
| 5
|-
| style="background-color: #DDDDFF" | {{StackItem|bat wing chow mein}}
| {{StackItem|Knob stir-fry}}
| {{StackItem|bat wing}}
| 21-28
| 70-75 {{mysticality}}
| 5
|-
| style="background-color: #DDFFDD" | {{StackItem|rat appendix chow mein}}
| {{StackItem|spooky stir-fry}}
| {{StackItem|rat appendix}}
| 21-28
| 70-75 {{moxie}}
| 5
|}
 
The chow mein dishes were some of the best foods in the Kingdom.  They all required a [[secret blend of herbs and spices]], [[dry noodles]], [[MSG]] and one or two other ingredients.  You needed [[Pastamastery]] to summon the dry noodles and [[Transcendental Noodlecraft]] to create chow mein.  Generally, the tofu and pr0n chow meins were considered separate from the other chow meins, due to their lower fullness, lower stat boosts, and irregular recipes.
 
On July 7, 2015, all chow mein dishes were replaced with simpler items.
 
{{CookingNav}}


[[Category:Cooking Strategy]]
[[Category:Cooking Strategy]]

Latest revision as of 04:40, 29 January 2025

The Hermit humbly requests that this page be rewritten or expanded.

Clarify numbers, add missing basic noodle / reagent dishes

Dry noodle cooking can be broken down into several types: basic, saucy, meins, lasagnas, and wontons.

Basic Dry Noodle

The most basic pasta dishes only require pastamastery to create, offering quick and easy access to solid food options by cooking dry noodles with one other ingredient. These all take only 1 adventure to cook (without the chef-in-the-box or another method of free crafting). Although these are generally weaker than more advanced dishes, those also require more skills, adventures and resources to cook. This makes these dishes perfect for aspiring adventurers with few to no skills learned, ensuring reasonable adventure and substat gains for little investment. They are primarily Good quality food dishes, while the best three dishes with the highest level requirements are Awesome quality.


Food name Ingredient Adventure Gain Stat Gain Fullness Level

agnolotti arboli

pestopiary
18-22 25-30 Magicalness 5 9

bätzle

bat wing
10-14 20-30 Sarcasm 4 4

boring spaghetti

tomato
10-14 20-25 Magicalness 4 5

crudles

bubblin' crude
18-22 25-30 Muscleboundness 5 9

delicious noodles

herbs
6-9 19-23 Sarcasm 3 3

delicious spicy noodles

secret blend of herbs and spices
9-11 29-33 Magicalness 3 5

fusilli marrownarrow

succulent marrow
16-19 20-30 Muscleboundness 5 7

ghuol guolash

ghuol ears
16-19 20-30 Magicalness 5 1

Knob stroganoff

Knob mushroom
10-14 20-25 Sarcasm 4 5

Knob stuffed shells

Knob sausage
10-14 20-25 Muscleboundness 4 5

menudo ravioli

batgut
10-14 20-30 Muscleboundness 4 4

painful penne pasta

jabañero pepper
7-9 15-20 Muscleboundness,
lose 20-23 HP
3 3

pr0n m4nic0tti

pr0n legs
10-12 28-32 Sarcasm 4 3

ratini

rat appendix
10-14 20-30 Magicalness 4 4

ravioli della hippy

wad of tofu
6-9 19-23 Magicalness 3 3

spaghetti with ghost balls

ectoplasmic orbs
18-22 25-30 Sarcasm 5 9

spicy noodles

spices
7-11 - 3 4

suggestive strozzapreti

salacious crumbs
16-19 20-30 Sarcasm 5 7


The 4 fullness dishes primarily have ingredients easily found in early locations such as The Bat Hole and Cobb's Knob, making them easy to access early on. They give an average of 12 adventures (3 per fullness), and offer 20-30 substats in a targeted stat per dish consumed. Covering 12 of one's typical 15 fullness, one will need some other foods or a smaller pasta dish to supplement this diet. Interestingly, the dishes with a lower level requirement are the ones with slightly better substat yields (20-30 vs 20-25). The one exception of these, pr0n m4nic0tti, is an old recipe made from an ingredient only obtainable after completing the level 9 quest, and offers slightly worse adventure yields than the other comparable pasta dishes listed here.

The better basic pasta dishes are cooked with ingredients found during the level 7 and level 9 quests, and at 5 fullness, three of these can fully cover your diet for the day. Pasta cooked with ingredients found from The Cyrpt yield 16-19 adventures (3.5 adventures per fullness) and 20-30 substats gains for a targeted stat, while pasta that uses ingredients from The Highlands yield 18-22 adventures (4 adventure per fullness) and 25-30 substats gains for one stat. An interesting exception is the ghuol guolash, which can be potentially obtained directly from the gluttonous ghuol in The Cyrpt without the need to cook them, or even have Pastamastery at all.

The 3 fullness noodles are largely old & defunct recipes, offering mediocre adventures & stat gains (often less than 3 adventures per fullness), while having primary ingredients that are generally out of the way and inconvenient to obtain. While a couple dishes like delicious noodles and painful penne pasta have ingredients easily acquired from npc stores, their gains remain inferior to more recently implemented dishes, from which the ingredients are likely to be obtained while questing anyway.

There are a variety of saucey noodle dishes that can be made, the ingredients for most come from a variety of adventuring location, of varying stats as well as availability. They will all require 2 adventures to cook (without the chef-in-the-box or another method of free crafting).

As these are all saucy foods, they benefit from the Saucemaven skill; with this skill learned, they will yield an additional 5 adventures as a Pastamancer or Sauceror, while other classes will get an additional 3 adventures.


Food name Base food item Sauce name Adventure Gain Stat Gain Fullness Level

devil hair pasta

hot wing

Devil's Elbow Hot Sauce
11-14 13 Strengthliness
13 Mysteriousness
13 Cheek
4 6

fettucini Inconnu

goat cheese

fancy schmancy cheese sauce
17-20 25-30 Mysteriousness 5 8

gnocchetti di Nietzsche

Knob mushroom

Himalayan Hidalgo sauce
22-27 47-52 Mysteriousness 6 6

Hell ramen

hellion cube

Hell broth
11-14 13 Strengthliness
13 Mysteriousness
13 Cheek
20-29 Meat
4 6

haunted Hell ramen

Hell ramen

ghostly ectoplasm
13-16 37 Strengthliness
37 Mysteriousness
37 Cheek
20-24 Meat
20 turns of Haunted Stomach
4 6

linguini immondizia bianco

Mountain Stream soda

Mountain Stream gastrique
17-20 25-30 Cheek 5 8

shells a la shellfish

Mt. McLargeHuge oyster

oyster sauce
17-20 25-30 Strengthliness 5 8

spagecialetti

pink slime

Special™ Sauce
11-14 13 Strengthliness
13 Mysteriousness
13 Cheek
4 6

spaghetti con calaveras

marzipan skull

Salsa de las Epocas
22-27 47-52 Strengthliness 6 6

spaghetti with Skullheads

Knob sausage

sauce of the ages
22-27 47-52 Strengthliness 6 6


The 4 fullness dishes are made with ingredients found in the Copse of the Deep Fat Friars, and are easiest to acquire thanks to their convenience. They offer low, balanced stat gains but the lowest adventure gains (3.125 per fullness).

The 5 fullness dishes are made with ingredients from Mt. McLargeHuge. They offer medium stat gains towards a single stat and moderate adventure gains (3.7 per fullness), but the ingredients are available somewhat later and generally aren't convenient to acquire (particularly since any goat cheese is likely used for the Mt. McLargeHuge Quest). Three of these will fill your stomach with ease (four with Stomach of Steel).

There are some 6 fullness dishes that have somewhat unusual availability (primarily Cobb's Knob Kitchens, which is rather out of the way), but offer the strongest stat and adventure gains (4.08 per fullness) with a fairly low level requirement. Those with access to the Degrassi Knoll Mushroom Fields can grow multiple Knob mushrooms by the second day of an ascension, offering a convenient way to cook one of the two dishes en mass. You will need other foods to supplement this diet, however, due to the inevitable leftover stomach space.

One exception is the spaghetti con calaveras, which has the same yields as the other 6 fullness dishes, but requires learning the recipe from the April Shower. Those with access to the Gno-Mart can purchase a marzipan skull to cook this with relative ease.

Another exception is the haunted Hell ramen, an improved Hell ramen that also provides a useful buff. Those with access to the Daily Loathing Ballot are sometimes able to fight the angry ghosts that drop the necessary ghostly ectoplasm to make this dish.

Lo Mein Stir-Fry Ingredient Adventures Stat gains Fullness

asparagus lo mein

asparagus stir-fry

stalk of asparagus
10-14 10-14 Muscleboundness
10-14 Enchantedness.
3

Knob lo mein

Knob stir-fry

Knob mushroom
15-19 30-34 Enchantedness 4

Knoll lo mein

Knoll stir-fry

Knoll mushroom
15-19 30-34 Muscleboundness 4

olive lo mein

olive stir-fry

olive
10-14 10-14 Muscleboundness
10-14 Roguishness
3

spooky lo mein

spooky stir-fry

spooky mushroom
15-19 30-34 Roguishness 4


Lo meins are the lower tier of the two meins. They can be cooked using Pastamastery by cooking dry noodles with a first-tier stir fry (the base ingredient cooked with a secret blend of herbs and spices). With access to the Mushroom Fields, the mushroom lo meins are superior to most non-savory pasta dishes, especially since the mushrooms only cost 30-50 meat (and a day). It does, however, require two adventures to cook instead of one (without the chef-in-the-box or another method of free crafting), as well as access to spices for the base stir-fry.

Scrumdiddlyumptious Noodles

Noodles in this category technically require savory dry noodles, which includes MSG. They require sauces made with the Way of Sauce skill and bottles of scrumdiddlyumptious solution and will require Transcendental Noodlecraft to complete.

As these are all saucy foods, they benefit from the Saucemaven skill; with this skill learned, they will yield an additional 5 adventures as a Pastamancer or Sauceror, while other classes will get an additional 3 adventures.


Food name Base food item Sauce name Adventure Gain Stat gain Fullness Level

turkish mostaccioli

giant turkey leg

good gravy
19-22 35-40 Strongness 5 10

libertagliatelle

open sauce

Salsa Libre
19-22 35-40 Mysteriousness 5 10

linguini of the sea

stolen sushi

illicit fish sauce
19-22 35-40 Sarcasm 5 10

Fettris

imitation White Russian

Alexy sauce
20-23 40-45 Strongness 5 11

fusillocybin

colorful toad

rainbow sauce
20-23 40-45 Mysteriousness 5 11

prescription noodles

pill cup

drug cocktail sauce
20-23 40-45 Sarcasm 5 11


Scrumdiddlyumptious Noodles replaced chow mein as an intermediate noodle between lo mein and hi mein. Although they require 3 adventures to cook (without the chef-in-the-box or another method of free crafting), the primary ingredients are readily available within The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky and The Hidden City (both of which are relevant to Council of Loathing quests). This makes them a viable late-game food option for Pastamancers, Saucerors and Accordion Thieves (due to their access to Gouda's Grimoire and Grocery) in a Hardcore ascension, particularly within Standard restrictions.

Hi Mein Base Sauce Pulverize a... (Lvl available) Adventures Muscle Mysticality Moxie Fullness

cold hi mein

cold and sour sauce

frozen nunchaku (8)
24-27 70-75 30-35 15-20 5

hot hi mein

hot and sour sauce

demon buckler (6)
24-27 70-75 15-20 30-35 5

sleazy hi mein

sleazy and sour sauce

buffalo blade (6)
24-27 25-30 25-30 70-75 5

spooky hi mein

spooky and sour sauce

spiked femur (6)
24-27 15-20 70-75 30-35 5

stinky hi mein

stench and sour sauce

lihc face (7)
24-27 30-35 70-75 15-20 5

Hi meins are an improved type of savory pasta. They are created by cooking elemental sour sauces with savory dry noodles. The skill Transcendental Noodlecraft and the item MSG are required to create savory dry noodles. The Way of Sauce is required to make the elemental sour sauces. You must be able to Pulverize equipment to get half of the ingredients for the elemental sour sauces, or buy them at the mall which means being out of Ronin.

As these are all saucy foods, they benefit from the Saucemaven skill; with this skill learned, they will yield an additional 5 adventures as a Pastamancer or Sauceror, while other classes will get an additional 3 adventures.

There are several disadvantages to hi meins that offset their advantages. Access to The Malus of Forethought is only available to Muscle classes, while MSG can only be bought by Mysticality classes or Accordion Thieves. Additionally, hi meins all have a level requirement of 12, making them solidly an aftercore food. Players who remain in Hardcore despite being over level 12, perhaps for PvP, will find themselves unable to craft them at all, unless they happen to be Turtle Tamers willing to enter Hobopolis to tame some boxcar turtles.

Lasagna Base Food Seasoning Casserole Adventures Stat Gains Fullness

gnat lasagna

filet of tangy gnat ("fotelif")

ancient spice

gnatloaf casserole
12-16 45-55 Beefiness 3

long pork lasagna

long pork

black pepper

long pork casserole
12-16 45-55 Wizardliness 3

fishy fish lasagna

displaced fish

dehydrated caviar

fishy fish casserole
12-16 45-55 Sarcasm 3

Lasagnas (on their own) are slightly less effective than scrumdiddlyumptious noodles and they can not be eaten until level 10. Lasagnas only require 2 ingredients, compared to the 4 needed for scrumdiddlyumptious noodles (including the need for savory dry noodles). However, each lasagna includes ingredients not available until level 11.

Lasagna grants an extra 5 adventures (increased to 17-21) if the Gar-ish effect is active (except on Mondays).

Wontons

Wonton McMillicancuddy Item Base Food Food Adventures Stats Adv/Full Fullness Level

sausage wonton

McMillicancuddy's Special Lager

frat brats

beer basted brat
12-18 50-80 Beefiness,
20-30 Wizardliness,
20-30 Sarcasm
5 3 12

tofu wonton

megatofu

mixed wildflower greens

super salad
11-18 20-30 Beefiness,
50-80 Wizardliness,
20-30 Sarcasm
4.83 3 12

Each wonton requires an ingredient available only after completing the Defowl the Farm quest during level 12 and either visiting the farm or obtaining an instant rations kit. The sausage wonton, which is comparable to a chow mein, is slightly better than the tofu wonton, which is comparable with the lasagna. As with the lasagna, they only require 2 ingredients, and may be more helpful in Aftercore than a regular run.

Obsolete Items

This content has been retired and is no longer available in game.

The items below used to be part of the noodle strategy before being removed from the game.

Food name Stir-fry Protein Adventures Stat Gains Fullness

tofu chow mein

asparagus stir-fry

wad of tofu
11-19 18-22 Beefiness
20-25 Wizardliness
3

pr0n chow mein

olive stir-fry

pr0n legs
16-24 20-26 Beefiness
20-26 Sarcasm
4

Knob sausage chow mein

Knoll stir-fry

Knob sausage
21-28 72-76 Beefiness 5

bat wing chow mein

Knob stir-fry

bat wing
21-28 70-75 Wizardliness 5

rat appendix chow mein

spooky stir-fry

rat appendix
21-28 70-75 Sarcasm 5

The chow mein dishes were some of the best foods in the Kingdom. They all required a secret blend of herbs and spices, dry noodles, MSG and one or two other ingredients. You needed Pastamastery to summon the dry noodles and Transcendental Noodlecraft to create chow mein. Generally, the tofu and pr0n chow meins were considered separate from the other chow meins, due to their lower fullness, lower stat boosts, and irregular recipes.

On July 7, 2015, all chow mein dishes were replaced with simpler items.

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