The Cake-Shaped Arena

The Hermit humbly requests that this page be rewritten or expanded. Missing familiar competence levels for these familiars: Antique Nutcracker, Arachnelf, Burly Bodyguard, Chest Mimic, Cookbookbat, Doll Moll, Elf Operative, Emberiza Aureola, Evolving Organism, Flaming Leafcutter Ant, Ghost of Crimbo Carols, Ghost of Crimbo Cheer, Ghost of Crimbo Commerce, God Lobster, Grey Goose, Hobo in Sheep's Clothing, Jill-of-All-Trades, Left-Hand Man, Melodramedary, Mini Kiwi, Mini-Trainbot, Mu, Party Mouse, Patriotic Eagle, Pet Anchor, Pet Coral, Piranha Plant, Pixel Rock, Plastic Pirate Skull, Pocket Professor, Proto-Protozoa, Red-Nosed Snapper, Rigging Snake, Sausage Golem, Shorter-Order Cook, Synthetic Rock, Vampire Vintner.

The Cake-Shaped Arena

The Cake-Shaped Arena is located on the Right Side of the Tracks and is run by Susie, the Arena Mistress. You can send your familiars here to compete with the House Familiars for "experience, prestige, and fabulous prizes".

Entering your familiars in an event costs 100 Meat and one Adventure. There are five House Familiars that they can compete against each day, in any of four different events:

• Ultimate Cage Match
• Scavenger Hunt
• Obstacle Course
• Hide and Seek

If your familiars win, they will gain experience based on their margin of victory:

• 5 or fewer: 5 experience
• 6: 4 experience
• 7: 3 experience
• 8 or more: 2 experience

The above formula changes slightly for the Ultimate Cage Match, which uses the number of battle rounds, not margin of victory, to calculate how much experience will be gained:

• 15 or more: 5 experience
• 14: 4 experience
• 13: 3 experience
• 12 or fewer: 2 experience

Usually, for every five Arena wins by your familiars, you will receive a piece of Familiar Equipment as a prize; the item that you get will often be specific to the familiar that got the fifth win (this means that it can only be used by that one familiar). However, if the winning familiar does not have a specific piece of equipment associated with it, then you will usually receive a lead necklace instead.

Maximizing Your Familiar's Experience

Your familiar's performance, as well as the house familiar's performance, will always be displayed as one of five possible numbers. Therefore, there are 25 possible outcomes for any given matchup.

If two familiars of equal ability (see the Strengths and Handicaps section below) are facing each other, you should make sure that your familiar is 3 pounds heavier than the house familiar. This will lead to a 96% chance of victory, as well as an average gain of 4.64 experience for your familiar. If your familiar is 4 or more pounds heavier than the house familiar, you will always win, but your familiar will only gain an average of 4.60 experience.

Below is a chart that pits the ability of your familiar against that of the house familiar; it shows how much more than the house familiar your familiar should weigh. The first number in any box will get you the maximum possible experience, but not always a victory, and the second number will always get you a victory, but not the maximum possible experience.

		House Familiar
		Weak			Average			Strong
You	Weak	3	/	4	6	/	7	9	/	10
	Average	0	/	1	3	/	4	6	/	7
	Strong	-3	/	-2	0	/	1	3	/	4

The weight of your familiars can be altered in many different ways; see Familiar Weight for more details.

Strengths and Handicaps

Familiars have one of four possible levels of competence in each of the four events. This level determines how effectively they can perform in that event, compared to another familiar of the same weight. The four levels are:

• Strong: Familiars will receive a bonus equal to (their weight + 3). This means that they will perform as if they were three pounds heavier than they actually are.
• Average: Familiars will receive a bonus equal to (their weight). This means that they will perform normally; their weight is not affected in any way.
• Weak: Familiars will receive a bonus equal to (their weight - 3). This means that they will perform as if they were three pounds lighter than they actually are.
• Unable to Perform: Familiars will not receive a bonus. They will perform as if they had a weight of 0, regardless of their actual weight.

If a familiar is are unable to perform in an event, this fact will be stated if it is entered in that particular event. Many familiars have at least one event in which they are unable to perform, and some have more; for example, the Comma Chameleon is unable to perform in three events, and the O.A.F. is unable to perform in all four. Many common familiars will have one event in which they are strong, one event in which they are average, one event in which they are weak, and one event in which they are unable to perform. Many rarer familiars, such as the Snowy Owl, have multiple events in which they are strong.

Low-weight familiars can still lose to a familiar that is unable to perform in a certain event. This is because familiars that are weak in an event will perform as if they are three pounds lighter than they actually are. So, it is possible for a familiar that is weak in an event and has a weight between 1 pound (-2 effective weight) and 6 pounds (3 effective weight) to lose to a familiar that is unable to perform (0 pounds) in that event. Familiars that are average in an event and weigh between 1 and 3 pounds can lose to a familiar that is unable to perform in that event (0 pounds). This is because the weight difference between the familiars must be at least 4 to guarantee a 100% chance of victory.

Familiars' competence levels

Name	Ultimate Cage Match	Scavenger Hunt	Obstacle Course	Hide and Seek
Adorable Seal Larva
Adorable Space Buddy
Adventurous Spelunker
Ancient Yuletide Troll
Angry Goat
Angry Jung Man
Animated Macaroni Duck
Artistic Goth Kid
Astral Badger
Attention-Deficit Demon
Autonomous Disco Ball
Baby Bugged Bugbear
Baby Gravy Fairy
Baby Mayonnaise Wasp
Baby Mutant Rattlesnake
Baby Sandworm
Baby Yeti
Baby Z-Rex
Bad Vibe
Bark Scorpion
Barrrnacle
Black Cat
Blavious Kloop
Blood-Faced Volleyball
Bloovian Groose
Bowlet
BRICKO chick
Bulky Buddy Box
Casagnova Gnome
Cat Burglar
Chauvinist Pig
Cheshire Bat
Chocolate Lab
Choctopus
Clockwork Grapefruit
Cocoabo
Coffee Pixie
Comma Chameleon
Cornbeefadon
Cotton Candy Carnie
Crimbo Elf
Crimbo P. R. E. S. S. I. E.
Crimbo Shrub
Cuddlefish
Cute Meteor
Cymbal-Playing Monkey
Dancing Frog
Dandy Lion
Dataspider
Disembodied Hand
Disgeist
Doppelshifter
Dramatic Hedgehog
El Vibrato Megadrone
Emo Squid
Evil Teddy Bear
Exotic Parrot
Fancypants Scarecrow
Feather Boa Constrictor
Feral Kobold
Fist Turkey
Flaming Face
Flaming Gravy Fairy
Frozen Gravy Fairy
Frumious Bandersnatch
Fuzzy Dice
Galloping Grill
Garbage Fire
Gelatinous Cubeling
Ghost Pickle on a Stick
Ghuol Whelp
Gluttonous Green Ghost
Golden Monkey
Green Pixie
Grim Brother
Grimstone Golem
Grinning Turtle
Grouper Groupie
Grue
Hand Turkey
Hanukkimbo Dreidl
Happy Medium
He-Boulder
Helix Fossil
Hippo Ballerina
Hobo Monkey
Holiday Log
Homemade Robot
Hovering Skull
Hovering Sombrero
Howling Balloon Monkey
Hunchbacked Minion
Imitation Crab
Inflatable Dodecapede
Intergnat
Jack-in-the-Box
Jill-O-Lantern
Jitterbug
Jumpsuited Hound Dog
Killer Bee
Knob Goblin Organ Grinder
Leprechaun
Levitating Potato
Lil' Barrel Mimic
Li'l Xenomorph
Llama Lama
Machine Elf
Mad Hatrack
Magic Dragonfish
MagiMechTech MicroMechaMech
Mariachi Chihuahua
Mechanical Songbird
Midget Clownfish
Mini-Adventurer
Mini-Crimbot
Mini-Hipster
MiniMechaElf
Mini-Skulldozer
Miniature Sword & Martini Guy
Misshapen Animal Skeleton
Mosquito
Ms. Puck Man
Mutant Cactus Bud
Mutant Fire Ant
Mutant Gila Monster
Nanorhino
Nervous Tick
Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot
Ninja Snowflake
Nosy Nose
O.A.F.
Obtuse Angel
Oily Woim
Optimistic Candle
Origami Towel Crane
Pair of Ragged Claws
Pair of Stomping Boots
Penguin Goodfella
Peppermint Rhino
Personal Raincloud
Pet Cheezling
Pet Rock
Piano Cat
Pottery Barn Owl
Psychedelic Bear
Puck Man
Purse Rat
Putty Buddy
Pygmy Bugbear Shaman
Ragamuffin Imp
Reagnimated Gnome
Reanimated Reanimator
Reassembled Blackbird
Reconstituted Crow
Restless Cow Skull
RoboGoose
Robortender
Robot Reindeer
Rock Lobster
Rockin' Robin
Rogue Program
Sabre-Toothed Lime
Scary Death Orb
Sleazy Gravy Fairy
Slimeling
Sludgepuppy
Smiling Rat
Snow Angel
Snowy Owl
Software Bug
Space Jellyfish
Spirit Hobo
Spooky Gravy Fairy
Spooky Pirate Skeleton
Squamous Gibberer
Stab Bat
Star Starfish
Steam-Powered Cheerleader
Stinky Gravy Fairy
Stocking Mimic
Stooper
Sugar Fruit Fairy
Sweet Nutcracker
Syncopated Turtle
Teddy Bear
Teddy Borg
Temporal Riftlet
Tickle-Me Emilio
Toothsome Rock
Topiary Skunk
Trick-or-Treating Tot
Twitching Space Critter
Unconscious Collective
Underworld Bonsai
Uniclops
Unspeakachu
Untamed Turtle
Urchin Urchin
Warbear Drone
Wereturtle
Whirling Maple Leaf
Wild Hare
Wind-up Chattering Teeth
Wizard Action Figure
Xiblaxian Holo-Companion
XO Skeleton
Yule Hound

Notes

• A tie in any event will always be considered as a win for your familiar.
• If you are falling-down drunk, then Susie will tell you, "You're too drunk to even tell the difference between your familiar and the House Familiar. Come back when you sober up."
• If you do not have an familiar with you, then Susie will tell you, "In order to compete, you need a familiar. Come back when you've got one."
• Effects and current equipment worn by the player that increase familiar experience per fight also increase your familiar's experience gain in the Arena.
• Certain familiars have special Arena relationships:
  • The Bulky Buddy Box, Holiday Log, Pet Rock, Stocking Mimic, Toothsome Rock, and Software Bug cannot compete in the Arena.
  • The Comma Chameleon will always receive a random piece of familiar equipment; it does not have its own specific equipment. Also, it will receive an item after every other win, instead of after every fifth win.
  • Elemental Gravy Fairies cannot get their specific equipment from the Arena, although the Comma Chameleon can still get these items. They will always receive a lead necklace, along with the following text:

  Susie looks at your familiar oddly.

  "I've never seen one of those before. I don't think we have any stuff in here that's specifically geared for this familiar..."

  • The familiars that do not have their own specific equipment are the Black Cat, Disembodied Hand, El Vibrato Megadrone, Fancypants Scarecrow, Mad Hatrack, and Ragamuffin Imp. They will get a lead necklace except for the ~ 20%-25% of the time they get a vicious spiked collar.
  • The Reconstituted Crow will receive the Reassembled Blackbird's specific equipment from the Arena, but it cannot be equipped with this item.
  • The Baby Bugged Bugbear cannot compete in the Arena. Instead, once a day, you can receive its specific equipment immediately upon entering the arena, but only if that item is not equipped, present in your inventory, and/or present in your closet.
  • The Reagnimated Gnome cannot compete in the Arena. Instead, once a day, you can pick up one of its five fallen body parts from the Arena, each of which functions as the Gnome's specific equipment.
• Using a Box of Familiar Jacks will create the familiar specific equipment for your currently active familiar as well. A lead necklace will be created for familiars without specific equipment.

References

• The Arena looks a lot like the Colosseum, which can be found in Rome.