Ultra Rares

Ultra Rares are items that are extremely rare drops, designed to be acquirable only through chance (or loads of meat). Jick has done an incredibly good job of keeping them virtually inaccessible to farmers (or at least as inaccessible as to occasional visitors), and the mechanic by which they occur is unknown. There has been much debate over the best strategy to acquire one of these. As yet, the only way which seems to have a good chance of paying off in the long run is to save your meat.

All ultra rares pulverize into ultimate wads.

The consolation ribbon pulverizes into twinkly powder as it's not an ultra-rare item.

List of Ultra Rares

Item	Enchantment	Monster	Location
17-ball	+20 Spooky Damage +20 Stench Damage +20 Hot Damage +20 Cold Damage +20 Sleaze Damage	pooltergeist	The Haunted Billiards Room
Counterclockwise Watch	+10 Adventure(s) per day when equipped.	The Temporal Bandit	The Cola Wars Battlefield, Cola Wars Battlefield (Cloaca Uniform), Cola Wars Battlefield (Dyspepsi Uniform)
crazy bastard sword	Weapon Damage +30 +10% chance of Critical Hit +6 PvP fight(s) per day when equipped.	crazy bastard	The Sleazy Back Alley
Dallas Dynasty Falcon Crest shield	Superhuman Resistance to All Elements	Knott Slanding	The Icy Peak
hockey stick of furious angry rage	+30 to Monster Level Muscle +5%	hockey elemental	Camp Logging Camp
hypnodisk	+30% Item Drops from Monsters	Hypnotist of Hey Deze	Pandamonium Slums
incredibly dense meat gem	+60% Meat from Monsters Moxie +5 Maximum MP +10	infinite meat bug	Treasury
optimal spreadsheet	All Attributes +10 +5 PvP fight(s) per day when equipped. +20 to Monster Level	QuickBASIC elemental	Menagerie Level 1
Platinum Yendorian Express Card	Opens Locked Doors Once a day: Extends the duration of all current effects by 5 adventures Restores all MP Cools zap wands	The Master Of Thieves	The Dungeons of Doom
repaid diaper	+15 to Familiar Weight	Remarkable Elba Kramer	Inside the Palindome
Talisman of Baio	+X% Muscle +X% Mysticality +X% Moxie (All Attributes Increase With Moonlight)	Baiowulf	The Spooky Forest
Talisman of Bakula	Hemophilia	Count Bakula	The Misspelled Cemetary
The Nuge's favorite crossbow	Ranged Damage +30 Combat Initiative +100% +5 Adventure(s) per day when equipped.	The Nuge	A Mob of Zeppelin Protesters

Notes

• All ultra-rare monsters have animated sprites.
• Both the incredibly dense meat gem and hypnodisk were given a minor buff on May 1st, 2020. Prior to this date, the IDMG gave +50% Meat from Monsters and the disk gave +25% Item Drops from Monsters
• Currently, only optimal spreadsheet is confirmed dupable by Grey Goose.