Weapons (by power)

Name	Power	Requirements	Notes
Bigger Bugfinder Blade	200	85 muscle	All Attributes +9 Awarded to people who find a lot of bugs, or major ones
fetus-smashing club	200	85 muscle	Custom item
Bugfinder Blade	180	75 muscle	All Attributes +7 Awarded to people who find a few bugs
steaming evil	180	75 muscle	+3 Fire Damage +3 Stench Damage +3 Spooky Damage Only 13 of these exist, so you're probably not getting one
Totally Gay Claymore	169	69 muscle	Custom item
star crossbow	165	67 moxie	Moxie +8
star staff	165	67 muscle	Mysticality +8
star sword	165	67 muscle	Muscle +8
arse-shooting crossbow	160	65 moxie	All Attributes +15 Custom item
giant discarded plastic fork	155	62 muscle	-
bugbear-smiting sword	150	60 muscle	Melee Damage +10 Muscle +10 Custom item
drywall axe	150	60 muscle	-
giant needle	150	60 muscle	Needed for a quest
heteroerotic frat-paddle	150	60 muscle	Custom item
Radio Free Foil	150	60 muscle	Part of the Radio Free Regalia outfit Intrinsic effect: Shiny Happy Weapon Radio KoL contest prize
ridiculously huge sword	140	55 muscle	Melee Damage +10
titanium assault umbrella	130	50 muscle	-
chrome crossbow	120	45 moxie	+3 adventures per day
chrome staff	120	45 muscle	+3 adventures per day
chrome sword	120	45 muscle	+3 adventures per day
denim axe	120	45 muscle	Part of a reward for finishing a quest
asbestos crossbow	110	40 moxie	Moxie +9
asbestos staff	110	40 muscle	Mysticality +9
asbestos sword	110	40 muscle	Muscle +9
batblade	110	40 muscle	Used to make Rewinged stab bat
iron pasta spoon	110	40 muscle	As a Mafia item, it can be considered rare
bow staff	100	35 muscle	Part of Bow Tux outfit Mysticality +5 Melee Damage +3 From Crimbo (eg You can probably forget about getting one of these)
Crimbo sword	100	35 muscle	Melee Damage +5 Part of Crimbo Duds outfit From Crimbo (eg You can probably forget about getting one of these)
linoleum crossbow	100	35 moxie	Maximum HP/MP +10
linoleum staff	100	35 muscle	Maximum MP +20
linoleum sword	100	35 muscle	Maximum HP +20
Mafia violin case	100	35 muscle	Muscle +20 Melee Damage +30 As a Mafia item, it can be considered rare
spiked femur	100	35 muscle	+3 Spooky Damage
icy-hot katana	90	30 muscle	Part of the Hot and Cold Running Ninja Suit outfit
kneecapping stick	90	30 muscle	3x chance of Critical Hit As a Mafia item, it can be considered rare
vorpal blade	90	30 muscle	Part of the Yendorian Finery outfit 2x chance of Critical Hit
7-Foot Dwarven mattock	80	25 muscle	Part of Mining Gear outfit
crowbarrr	80	25 muscle	-
frozen nunchaku	80	25 muscle	Melee Damage +3
grave robbing shovel	80	25 muscle	-
Kentucky-fried meat crossbow	80	25 moxie	Moxie +7
Kentucky-fried meat staff	80	25 muscle	Mysticality +7
Kentucky-fried meat sword	80	25 muscle	Muscle +7
crazy bastard sword	75	22 muscle	Muscle +5 Melee Damage +15 3x chance of Critical Hit Ultra Rare
homoerotic frat-paddle	70	20 muscle	Part of the Frat Boy Ensemble outfit
diamond-studded cane	60	15 muscle	Moxie +9 (Disco Bandits only)
eXtreme meat crossbow	60	15 moxie	-
eXtreme meat staff	60	15 muscle	Mysticality +5
eXtreme meat sword	60	15 muscle	Muscle +5
Gnollish autoplunger	60	15 muscle	-
Knob Goblin elite polearm	60	15 muscle	Part of the Knob Goblin Elite Guard Uniform outfit
sabre teeth	60	15 muscle	Used to make Sabre-toothed lime cub
5-Alarm Saucepan	50	10 muscle	Mysticality +7 Saucerors only
balloon sword	50	10 muscle	-
basic meat foon	50	10 muscle	Muscle +2 Melee Damage +3
Bjorn's Hammer	50	10 muscle	Muscle +7 (Seal Clubbers only)
can of maces	50	10 moxie	-
Disco Banjo	50	10 moxie	Moxie +7 (Disco Bandits only)
dripping meat crossbow	50	10 moxie	Moxie +3
dripping meat staff	50	10 muscle	Mysticality +3
dripping meat sword	50	10 muscle	Muscle +3
Pasta of Peril	50	10 muscle	Mysticality +7 (Pastamancers only)
pixel sword	50	10 muscle	Part of the 8-Bit Finery outfit
Rock and Roll Legend	50	10 moxie	Moxie +7 (Accordion Thieves only)
Turtleslinger	50	10 muscle	Muscle +7 (Turtle Tamers only)
basic meat spork	45	7 muscle	Muscle +2 Melee Damage +3
Gnollish nunchaku	45	7 muscle	A drop item that no longer drops, and so is considered rare
basic meat crossbow	40	5 moxie	Meatsmithing ingredient
basic meat staff	40	5 muscle	Meatsmithing ingredient
basic meat sword	40	5 muscle	Meatsmithing ingredient
rubber axe	40	5 muscle	-
white sword	40	5 muscle	-
Dr. Hobo's scalpel	35	2 muscle	Melee Damage +3 Part of a reward for a quest
Gnollish flyswatter	35	2 muscle	Needed for a quest
Gnollish plunger	35	2 muscle	-
spooky staff	35	2 muscle	Mysticality +3
cheap plastic bottle opener	30	-	Given on St. Sneaky Pete's Day
foon	30	-	Meatsmithing ingredient
huge mirror shard	30	-	Quest item
little paper umbrella	30	-	Cocktailcrafting ingredient Given it's other uses, doubtful you'll ever use it as a weapon
skeleton bone	30	-	Used to make Spooky pirate skeleton
spooky stick	30	-	Used to make spooky staff
spork	30	-	Meatsmithing ingredient
Wand of Nagamar	30	-	-
stone banjo	25	-	-
wooden stakes	25	-	-
dirty hobo gloves	20	-	+1 Stench Damage
hippo whip	20	-	+5 to Monster Level
Knob Goblin tongs	20	-	Required for a quest
penguin whip	20	-	+3% Meat from Monsters
slingshot	20	-	-
sweet ninja sword	20	-	-
yak whip	20	-	Successful hit weakens opponent
asparagus knife	15	-	+1 Stench Damage
Knob Goblin scimitar	15	-	-
big stick	10	-	Meatsmithing ingredient
cool whip	10	-	Required for a quest
pasta spoon	10	-	-
saucepan	10	-	-
seal-clubbing club	10	-	-
stolen accordion	10	-	-
tiny plastic sword	10	-	Cocktailcrafting ingredient Given it's other uses, doubtful you'll ever use it as a weapon From Crimbo (eg You can probably forget about getting one of these)