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"DRINK ME" potion
* 5-hour acrimony
* antique bottle opener
* antique painting of a landscape
* antique pair of blue jeans
* antique record album
* antique souvenir drawing
* Asleep in the Cemetery
* astral mushroom
* bag of lard
* bed of coals
* BGE 'cuddly critter' shirt
* BGE 'ferocious fruit' shirt
* BGE pocket calendar
* BGE tiny plastic toy
* Biddy Cracker's Old-Fashioned Cookbook
* big bundle of chamoix
* Blind-packed capsule toy
* Blizzards I Have Died In
* bone meal
* bone spurs
* boneana hammock
* bonedanna
* bottle of antifreeze
* bottle of Blank-Out
* bottle of Mystic Shell
* BRICKO brick
* can of CRIMBCOLA
* can of fake snow
* can of spinach
* candied kobold
* candy cane
* candy cornucopia
* cold hots candy
* colored-light "necklace"
* colorful plastic ball
* comfy coffin
* concentrated garbage juice
* cotton candy cocoon
* CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1)
* CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2)
* CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3)
* CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4)
* CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5)
* crystallized memory
* cyclops eyedrops
* deadly lampshade
* disassembled clover
* divine champagne popper
* donkey flipbook
* epic wad
* fancy but probably evil chocolate
* filth-encrusted futon
* floaty inverse geode
* fossilized bat skull
* fossilized limb
* fossilized serpent skull
* fossilized spike
* fossilized spine
* fossilized torso
* fossilized wing
* frigid air mattress
* frozen banquet
* glow-in-the-dark dart gun
* glowing frisbee
* grass blade
* grass clippings
* grass hat
* grass skirt
* Greatest American Pants
* guy made of bee pollen
* imitation nice watch
* Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
* jawbruiser
* Let Me Be!
* lewd playing card
* llama lama gong
* Loathing Legion knife
* Maxing, Relaxing
* Mick's IcyVapoHotness Inhaler
* nanite-infested candy cane
* natty blue ascot
* organ grinder
* Pack of Alice's Army Cards
* phial of coldness
* phial of hotness
* phial of sleaziness
* phial of spookiness
* phial of stench
* poltergeist-in-the-jar-o
* portable photocopier
* pretty flower
* record of infuriating silence (used)
* scented massage oil
* Sensual Massage for Creeps
* shrinking powder
* six-pack of New Cloaca-Cola
* spice melange
* stained mattress
* strange cube
* Summer Nights
* Tales of a Kansas Toymaker
* The Art of Slapfighting
* The Autobiography of Dynamite Superman Jones
* The Joy of Wassailing
* ten-leaf clover
* tiny bottle of absinthe
* tiny plastic chunk of depleted Grimacite
* tiny plastic Mob Penguin
* tiny plastic mutant elf
* tiny plastic Sneaky Pete
* tiny slimy cyst
* Travels with Jerry
* tube sock
* Uncle Crimbo's Rations
* Uncle Romulus
* useless powder
* Valentine
* volcanic ash
* wad of slimy rags
* white rice
* Workytime Tea
* wreath of laurels
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