Monster Manuel (Entries)

Monster Manuel entries are accessed from your quest log if you have the Monster Manuel. Each entry gives basic monster stats, as well as informative factoids related to the monster.

Monsters for which you have acquired 1 factoid are casually researched; 2 factoids are thoroughly researched, and with 3 factoids you have exhaustively researched a given monster.

A

		170		A.M.C. gremlin Some researchers believe the AMC Gremlin to be evidence that gremlins are a degenerate offshoot of the Crimbo Elf, due to their mechanical skills. However, their research equipment usually falls apart before they get a chance to publish.
		153
		170

		145		Alphabet Giant You may be wondering where the Alphabet Giant got those letters. In fact, he used to work at a giant alphabet soup factory, but he got fired for stealing from the supply cupboard. The Alphabet Giant tried to get a job on an educational childrens' program, but kept freaking out and attacking the puppets. The alphabet giant's favorite letters are F and U.
		130
		150

		22		anglerbush The anglerbush's bait is made of plant matter that is exactly like meat in appearance and texture. As such, they were almost hunted to extinction by vegans. The meat stack that the anglerbush sometimes drops isn't its bait flower; it's just an extra meat stack the bush had lying around.
		8
		25

		15		angry bugbear Bugbears have notoriously short tempers, so even a stubbed toe will turn them from normal to angry. Bugbears' hearing is abnormally weak for a creature with such large ears. It's probably all the rock concerts they went to as teenagers. Bugbears have no noses and smell terribly. And also terrible.
		14
		12

		50		Angry Space Marine Don't be too hard on the Angry Space Marine. He's been trained and conditioned to kill everything he sees. Imagine how hard it is for him when he has to go to the laundromat.
		50
		65

		20		annoying spooky gravy fairy The annoying spooky gravy fairy really just wants to be friends and joke around, but it's socially awkward and gets nervous. The annoying spooky gravy fairy's pitchfork can be used by normal-sized people to eat oysters, or by oysters to fend off people trying to eat them. I mean, what chance does the annoying spooky gravy fairy have, with a name like that? If your name was Bob the Douchebag, would you fight fate?
		18
		20

B

		3		bar The best way to fight a bar is to trip it, thereby lowering it.
		2
		5

		?		Baron von Ratsworth Baron von Ratsworth made his fortune trading in steel futures, but nowadays he's mostly into real estate.
		?
		?

		21		beanbat It takes approximately 144,000 beanbats to stuff a single beanbatbag chair.
		18
		18

		25		beefy bodyguard bat Each beefy bodyguard bat can lift three times his body weight, provided he has a water bottle and a good spotter. The beefy bodyguard bat's wings aren't actually lettuce leaves. They're just really bulky regular ol' wings. You may think the beefy bodyguard bat is just a dumb slab of muscle, but he actually reads poetry and writes short stories in his spare time.
		22
		25

		129		black adder Black adders usually live in rowan trees.
		114
		124

		?		Black Crayon Shambling Monstrosity The Shambling Monstrosity is not a god or an alien, per se; it's a traveler from another dimension. Remember that differentiator as your sanity starts to slip. Staring at a Shambling Monstrosity can make you go insane. Staring at one through a welder's helmet will just get you really high for a couple of hours.
		?
		?

		123		Black Knight The black knight didn't seem racist at first, but now it kinda does.
		121
		135

		132		black widow Black widow bites are rarely fatal if you receive immediate medical treatment. Black Widow Bites are also a terribly marketed type of candy.
		110
		121

		126		blackberry bush A blackberry stalk makes a powerful weapon, if you still have any arms left after getting it away from the bush.
		114
		136

		33		Boss Bat the boss bat has weak eyesight, but he can listen to hear where you are.
		29
		40

		20		bunch of drunken rats The metal beer keg was invented as a defense against drunken tavern rats, who kept chewing through the old wooden barrels. Some tavern owners have tried to get rid of drunken rat infestations by setting out shots of alcohol laced with poison, also called "Mickeys".
		18
		16

C

		25		chalkdust wraith Chalkdust wraiths are generally the spirits of dead schoolteachers, or children who asphyxiated while cleaning the blackboard erasers. Billiards chalk wraiths are incredibly rare.
		23
		25

		57		claw-foot bathtub There's a ring around the inside of the claw-foot bathtub, and you don't want to know what caused it.
		47
		55

		1		completely different spider The completely different spider parts its hair on the other side and has a moustache, so he's definitely not that other spider. Spiders are nature's practical jokers. It's not on accident they always spin their webs right where you'll walk through them; they enjoy the goofy dance you do.
		0
		1

D

		21		demonic icebox This fridge has magnetic poetry tiles on it with phrases like "eternal suffering" and "disemboweled penitent."
		19
		21

		200		Demon of New Wave The Demon of New Wave doesn't drink and doesn't smoke. No one knows what he does do.
		180
		500

		8		drunken 7-foot dwarf 7-foot dwarves like their whiskey extra-salty -- every bottle is made with seven grams of sea-salt.
		9
		7

		10		drunken rat Reeking of booze actually improves the drunken rat's usual smell.
		9
		8

		40		drunken rat king Surprisingly, these rats are usually sober when they first get stuck together. Many people believe that the center of a tangle of rat tails contains a radioactive pellet, but they are wrong -- it usually contains a golf ball. Tickling the tangle of tails in the center of a rat king is a good way to trick the rats into biting one another instead of you. Rats are stupid.
		36
		32

E

		?		evil ex-girlfriend Spoons Liu is currently studying to become an Orthodox Jew, so she can fire energy beams from her eyes.
		?
		?

F

		31		Father McGruber Father McGruber's arsenal includes a razor-sharp throwing crucifix, a rosary garrote, and other blasphemous and not at all funny accouterments.
		30
		40

		75		Felonia, Queen of the Spooky Gravy Fairies Queen Felonia has a 2nd-dan black belt in Slashing Your Face With a Broken Bottle-Fu.
		67
		80

		2		fiendish can of asparagus Spears are called 'spears' because of their similarity to asparagus spears. The fact that they were invented by Alfred Spear is a coincidence. Unicorns are nearly as attracted to people whose pee smells like asparagus as they are to virgins.
		0
		1

		1		fluffy bunny Rabbit meat is a little gamey, but good with peppercorns and a red wine. It is always rabbit season and duck season in the Kingdom of Loathing. Fluffy bunnies have a mean streak a mile wide and a furlong deep.
		0
		1

		135		Furry Giant Some think it's cruel to mock people for their lifestyle choices. But scientists agree that if you can be a human who's secretly a mongoose on the inside, you can be secretly a mongoose with a sense of humor, too. The furry lifestyle is not all about deviant sex acts and pornography. No, seriously. Some furries with multiple personality disorders are secretly entire zoos.
		121
		150

G

		75		ghost These pesky creatures are actually the ghosts of stomped-on Goombas, which explains why there's always so many of them. Why, you're probably partially at fault yourself! These ghosts don't drop red pixels because the red pixels are used for the fire, and burn off before they can be collected. Don't forget to whip the candles! The little flames are actually ghost eggs!
		67
		80

		130		Goth Giant The Goth Giant's favorite band is She Stubbed My Soul. Although when he's particularly depressed, only the icy synths of Sanguinatus Luciferi will do. Ironically, Goth Giants tend to avoid going outside in the rain, since it makes their mascara run.
		117
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		99999		Guy Made Of Bees The honey made by the Guy made of Bees is a potent hallucinogen.
		89999
		99999

K

		2		Knob Goblin Assistant Chef Knob Goblin assistant chefs enjoy classic rock in general, but hate Jethro Tull. If you, like a Knob Goblin assistant chef, are always on the lookout for ways to save money in the kitchen, do what they do -- replace half of the flour in your recipes with dirt.
		0
		1

		2		Knob Goblin Barbecue Team Knob goblins aren't really very good at grilling, and let their magically-animated grills do most of the work. They're really only there to poke the grill with the tongs once in a while, to make sure it doesn't eat the sausages itself.
		1
		2

		25		Knob Goblin Elite Guard The Elite Guard is chosen from the best of the cream of the barrel of regular guards. They get extra pay and one additional pitchfork of hay to sleep on.
		27
		30

		105		Knott Yeti The Knott Yeti's growls and snarls are a fairly advanced form of communication. More advanced than Frat Orcs, anyway. Knott Yeti's teeth are serrated for ripping and tearing, and ribbed for her pleasure. The only exports from the land of Knott are Yetis, Slandings, and berries from their many berry farms.
		103
		90

M

		59		malevolent hair clog If you think the hair clogs in Spookyraven Manor are bad, you should see the ones in the Castle In The Clouds. All those giant beards! The best way to get rid of malevolent hair clogs is a bottle of "Liquid Exorcist", but most clerics will warn you that it's bad for your plumbing.
		81
		50

		180		mean drunk duck It only takes 6 ounces of beer to get a duck drunk. Because of this, scientists have speculated they're distant relatives of sorority girls. Birds need gravity to help them swallow, so if you're going to beer bong a duck, make sure you're on earth or an earth-like planet.
		157
		190

N

		10		Norville Rogers Norville believes in only two things: cowardice and sandwiches.
		9
		15

O

		30		off-duty Knob Goblin Elite Guard Most Knob Goblins have terrible peanut allergies, which partly explains why they eat so many sausages.
		22
		30

		4		overdone flame-broiled meat blob Seriously, guys. Medium rare at the very most. If you don't have that pink center, you're just eating charcoal.
		1
		2

P

		16		Peacannon The peacannon's primitive eyes are capable of discerning human from zombie, but incapable of differentiating teal from seafoam.
		15
		22

		25		pooltergeist British pooltergeists, also known as 'billiardolons', are notable for having larger (though not as many) balls, and no pockets. Be careful when fighting very old pooltergeists, as ivory balls tend to also be haunted by the ghosts of elephants, and the early synthetic balls were made of celluloid, which occasionally exploded.
		18
		27

		140		pop-and-lock raver The raver's baggy pants frequently contain other, smaller ravers, whose giant pants pockets contain even smaller ravers. The record for nested ravers (ravers contained in the baggy pants pockets of other ravers) is 23, starting with a Rave Giant and ending with a flaming gravy fairy. Glowsticks sometimes contain a phosphorescent chemical mix, but the cheaper ones are just ground-up fireflies.
		126
		150

		1		possessed can of tomatoes It's just the can that's possessed, not the contents. So once you get the tomatoes out you can still make spaghetti sauce with them. Unless you get one of the rare cases where the whole shebang's gone evil. Despite what the can tells you, your mother is probably not doing anything untoward in Hey Deze, if she's there at all.
		0
		1

		22		possessed silverware drawer The possessed silverware drawer has a full set of steak knives in it, and also one of those things that's maybe a foil cutter for wine, but you never drink wine, so where did that thing come from? Maybe it's a paring knife.
		3
		22

		130		Possibility Giant Little is known about the Possibility Giant, as his nature is constantly changing. Therefore, the other two factoids will be about cats instead. Cats can survive falls of up to at least 32 stories. Some speculate cats have a non-fatal terminal velocity, but they can't get any grants to drop a cat out of the upper ionosphere. A cat's barbed tongue helps it to groom itself and to drink water. And, y'know, to give you a rash at 3 a.m. when it won't stop licking your damn arm, and you've already fed it and petted it but it won't GO AWAY.
		117
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		125		Procrastination Giant A procrastination giant was elected to the Council of Loathing in 1548, on the theory that he probably wouldn't be any worse than the other councillors. He didn't bother to show up for work, which many take as confirmation of the theory. A recent poll of favorite hobbies among procrastination giants was inconclusive, because none of them returned the forms. (The third entry for this monster has not been written yet. We'll get around to it eventually. -Ed.)
		112
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R

		0		random scenester The random scenester is 35 years old, but looks younger with his ironic mullet.
		0
		0

		140		Raver Giant Raver giant music doesn't have much bass, compared to that of regular-size ravers. They find that the loud pounding created by their dancing is quite sufficient. The raver giant's pacifier is so large, it could pacify more than a hundred normal-size babies at once! Er, if that's how pacifiers worked. If the raver giant had one of those candy necklaces, it would be able to feed a family of four for at least six months! Of course, they'd probably all get diabetes.
		126
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		175		rotund duck The rotund duck has a genetic condition, okay? The rotund duck's so fat it can't even fit into its little sailor hat and jacket anymore.
		157
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		1		rushing bum Don't feel bad about beating up rushing bums; they all choose to be homeless and if they'd only work a little harder, they'd be millionaires!
		0
		1

S

		23		Scott the Miner Never dig straight down. Seriously, just don't. Don't do it.
		22
		30

		107		Snow Queen The Snow Queen is from a country called Rhye, which is bound by seven seas. Don't blame the Snow Queen for being so aggro. After all, she's Under Pressure. I mean, given her druthers, she'd just ride her bicycle where she likes.
		94
		70

		170		Spirit of New Wave The Spirit of New Rave believes in PLUR: Pain, Lacerations, Ulcerating Sores, and Respect.
		153
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		185		Spirit of New Wave Never ask the Spirit to 'pon de replay if you want to keep your internal organs internal.
		166
		260

		65		spooky gravy fairy ninja Spooky Gravy Fairy Ninja chopsticks are so small, you can use them as toothpicks!
		58
		55

		60		spooky gravy fairy warlock Gravy fairy warlocks can turn cats into teacups, and teacups into mice, and mice into cats.
		54
		50

		4		spooky mummy Mummies have had their brains pulled out of their noses with a sharp pointed stick. That explains why they're not the peppiest or smartest of monsters. Mummies have their internal organs taken out and stored in jars, then their abdominal cavity stuffed with flowers. That explains why they're not in the best of moods.
		3
		3

		?		spooky vampire The spooky vampire does not sparkle. When exposed to sunlight, he has the decency to self-combust.
		?
		?

		1		Sub-Assistant Knob Mad Scientist Sub-Assistant Mad Scientists are not permitted to titrate without prior permission and close supervision.
		1
		1

		25		swarm of Knob lice The singular form of "lice" is "louse," and the singular form of "mice" is "mouse." But the singular form of "dice" is not "douse." HOW IS THAT JUSTICE?
		22
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