Rare Items

A rare item is an item which exists in the Kingdom but is either difficult or very expensive (usually both) to obtain.

Some rares are extremely rare drops in the Kingdom (such as the Ultra Rares) while others are items which can only be obtained as special gifts (such as the Radio Free Regalia). Still others are items which once dropped in the Kingdom but no longer do, such as the gasmask. Some are gifts which were given to everyone on a specific date, such as the Crimbo pressie. Also included are Hacked Items, as well as items used solely for testing and never available outside of exploits. Really rare and special non-rare items are listed near the bottom of the page; the rare items near the top are in no particular order.

Ultra-rare drops

• 17-ball
• Counterclockwise Watch
• crazy bastard sword
• Dallas Dynasty Falcon Crest shield
• hockey stick of furious angry rage
• hypnodisk
• incredibly dense meat gem
• Platinum Yendorian Express Card
• Talisman of Baio
• Talisman of Bakula

Special Gifts

• Ascension Souvenir T-Shirt (given to ascension testers and seldon, the first player to ascend)
• big ol' trophy (meant to be a prize for player "accordion thief"'s scavenger hunt)
• blank white card (originally given to Riff)
• Frank Gorshin trophy (given to the winners of Riff's first and second riddle contests)
• Item #13 (never truly "available", unknown whether or not they are currently in the same state)
• N. O. Beer (given to the members of Noblesse Oblige)
• one million meat pancakes (first a gift, then duped many times. No longer given away.)
• Otorian Battle Scar (given to the members of Otori)
• Periodical Paintbrush (given to the artists of the 2008 Fanart Calendar)
• Seasonal Beret (given to the artists of the 2009 Fanart Calendar)
• puzzling ribbon (given to people who solved one of HotStuff's occasional puzzle contests)
• puzzling trophy (given to the first people to solve one of HotStuff's occasional puzzle contests)
• Warehouse 23 bling (given to the members of Warehouse 23 and Arbitrage)

Gifts still available

• Bigger Bugfinder Blade
• Bugfinder Blade
• consolation ribbon
• radio button candy
• Radio KoL Antenna Ball
• Radio KoL Bottle Opener
• Radio KoL Flashlight
• Radio KoL Keychain
• Radio KoL Maracas
• Radio KoL Patch
• Voluminous Radio Hat
• Voluminous Radio Pants
• Voluminous Radio Sneakers

Mafia Prizes

• Mystery Raffle Ticket:
  • Acqua Del Piatto Merlot
  • Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet
  • cement shoes
  • Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel
  • Mafia bow tie
  • Mafia stogie
  • Mafia violin case
  • Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir
  • old school Mafia knickerbockers
  • Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne
  • Uovo Marcio Shiraz
• The Raffle House:
  • Grimacite Bock
  • Grimacite gaiters
  • Grimacite galoshes
  • Grimacite garter
  • Grimacite gasmask
  • Grimacite gat
  • Grimacite gauntlets
  • Grimacite girdle
  • Grimacite glaive
  • Grimacite goggles
  • Grimacite go-go boots
  • Grimacite gorget
  • Grimacite gown
  • Grimacite greaves
  • Grimacite guayabera
  • wedge of gray cheese

Hacked Items

These items have been hacked from the database.

• birthday candle
• Children's Meal of the Damned
• steaming evil
• voodoo doll

Items used for testing

• familiar experience pill
• Mr. Shirt
• off-hand balloon
• serrated proboscis extension

Items that no longer drop

These are items that that do not exist in great quantity in the Kingdom and for which there is no way any more will exist (unless they are reimplemented). Previous Mr. Store Monthly Specials are listed below this entry. Less-rare special event items that no longer drop are listed near the bottom of the page.

• Admiral's hat
• beet
• chunk of depleted Grimacite
• comfy blanket
• control crystal (and by extension: crystallized memory, and floaty inverse geode)
• Crimbo pressie (and by extension: wrapping paper, present, Crimbo hat, Crimbo pants and Crimbo sword)
• Crimbo stocking (and by extension small Crimbo Pressie, and the special Crimbo gifts mentioned below)
• extra special Crimbo stocking
• gasmask
• guild application
• Emblem of Ak'gyxoth
• hemp backpack
• Idol of Ak'gyxoth
• moon unit
• Mr. Container
• Newbiesport™ backpack
• old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie (and by extension the special Crimbo 2007 gifts mentioned below)
• red-hot medallion
• sinister ancient tablet
• throbbing rage gland
• tropical Crimbo pressie (and by extension: tropical wrapping paper, Tropical Crimbo Hat, Tropical Crimbo Shorts, Tropical Crimbo Sword and the special Crimboween gifts mentioned below)
• Underworld trunk (and by extension: Staff of the Woodfire, Underworld flail and Underworld truncheon)
• Underworld acorn (and by extension: Underworld sapling)
• unearthed volcanic meteoroid
• zombie pineal gland (and by extension: pirate zombie head, pirate zombie robot head, ninja pirate zombie robot head and ninja pirate zombie robot)

Previous Mr. Store items

Items formerly available from Mr. Store are considered rare. The list of these items is available on this page.

Custom Items

A custom item is a one-of-a-kind item specially designed for a specific player. These items are given out (in the words of Mr. Skullhead) "for whatever we feel like".

• arse-shooting crossbow (given to Kucolan)
• bugbear-smiting sword (given to spazworrier)
• Cat-Herding Prod (given to Cassandra7)
• conspicuous lack of pants (given to EyeSpeculum)
• especially homoerotic frat-paddle (Given to Xenophobe, later removed)
• exclusive ultra-rare item (given to Phoenix & Mick)
• fetus-smashing club (given to Bashy)
• fuzzy bracelets (given to Mick)
• golden sausage (given to Cobain Dougans)
• heteroerotic frat-paddle (given to Mr Skullhead)
• intergalactic pom poms (given to skipperic)
• MAHI fez (given to BoozerBear)
• Mjolnir Jr. (given to Thor the Mighty)
• Panda outfit (given to Foggy)
• Radio Free Jersey (given to Amplitude)
• Radio KoL Coffee Mug (given to KolMohDee)
• rubber WWBBDD? bracelet (given to BlackBeltDuck)
• Scandalously Skimpy Bikini (given to Sassylassy)
• second-hand knockoff engagement ring (given to Mr Magnifico)
• silver sausage (given to DarthDud)
• Sombrero De Vida (given to Vida Londres)
• sparkly engagement ring (given to Phoenix)
• Stupid University Diploma (given to Prima Vera Angelhair)
• Toddler-sized Dragon Costume (given to Cynn)
• Totally Gay Claymore (given to PhilANThropiSt - twice, after his initial character was disabled and deleted for policy violation and he reincarnated himself as "The Real PANTS")
• wad of Crovacite (given to Crovax1234)
• Xlyinia's notebook (given to Xlyinia)

Really rares

• spooky hockey mask (Somewhat rare drop when resting)
• These four are available somewhat rarely from Lucky Surprise Eggs and doll houses:
  • tiny plastic Boris
  • tiny plastic Jarlsberg
  • tiny plastic Sneaky Pete
  • tiny plastic Susie
• These five are available from eating Spooky Surprise Eggs and using dollhives:
  • tiny plastic Dr. Awkward
  • tiny plastic Ed the Undying
  • tiny plastic Lord Spookyraven
  • tiny plastic Naughty Sorceress
  • tiny plastic protector spectre

Untradeable Special Items

• all-year sucker (Crimbo 2011)
• astronaut ice-cream (reward from The LAAAAME Observatory)
• Big Candy's tophat (Crimbo 2011)
• blue glowstick (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XIII)
• blue ribbon (St. Sneaky Pete's Day VII)
• blue traffic cone (St. Sneaky Pete's Day V)
• can-you-dig-it? (Professor Jacking's Laboratory)
• detour shield (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XXV)
• Ellsbury's journal (Neckback Crick)
• flashing novelty button (St. Sneaky Pete's Day VIII - X, XII)
• flyest of shirts (Professor Jacking's Laboratory)
• fossilized necklace (reward for defeating a reanimated skeleton as part of the Bigg's Dig event)
• green traffic cone (St. Sneaky Pete's Day IV)
• green glowstick (St. Sneaky Pete's Day IX)
• hair of the calf, and by extension, world's most unappetizing beverage (Professor Jacking's Laboratory)
• heart of dark chocolate (Crimbo 2011)
• "Humorous" T-shirt (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XI, was originally tradeable)
• Junior LAAAAME merit badge (reward from The LAAAAME Observatory)
• Mob Penguin protection contract
• Mr. Exploiter (can be purchased from Uncle P's Antiques)
• orange glowstick (St. Sneaky Pete's Day VIII)
• orange traffic cone (St. Sneaky Pete's Day I)
• pink glowstick (St. Sneaky Pete's Day X)
• pirate hook (given to certain players on September 19th, 2005 (Talk Like a Pirate Day))
• purple glowstick (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XIV)
• outrageous sombrero (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XI, was originally tradeable)
• red traffic cone (St. Sneaky Pete's Day III)
• rose-colored glasses (obtained from the A Suspicious-Looking Guy while during The Gray Plague)
• Senior LAAAAME merit badge (reward from The LAAAAME Observatory -- only 68 exist)
• slippery when wet shield (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XXVI)
• snow hat (Crimbo 2009)
• snow belt (Crimbo 2009)
• snow pants (Crimbo 2009)
• speed limit shield (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XXIV)
• squirmy violent party snack (Professor Jacking's Laboratory)
• tattered paper crown (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XV-XXI), and by extension, vanilla-frosted king cake, banana-frosted king cake, blueberry-frosted king cake, and chocolate-frosted king cake, though curiously, not the pink plastic baby, brown plastic baby, blue plastic baby, and red plastic baby, as they are rare but actually tradeable.
• The Legendary Beat (Professor Jacking's Laboratory)
• The Spirit of Crimbo (Crimbo 2008)
• Time Juice (given to all players after The Council of Loathing time juice fund ended)
• time sleigh (given as a reward for saving Uncle Crimbo during Crimboween)
• tin star (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XI, was originally tradeable)
• Unionize The Elves sign (dropped once per ascension at the Crimbo Town Toy Factory)
• wand of fudge control (Crimbo 2011)
• yellow glowstick (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XII)
• yellow traffic cone (St. Sneaky Pete's Day II)
• Yeti Protest Sign (dropped once per player at The Icy Peak)
• yield shield (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XXIII)

Promotional Items

These are items that are obtained by means of using a once-only "redemption code" given out at a promotional event, or in a promotional pack.

• superhero mask (promotional code given out at Comic-Con 2006)
• indie comic hipster glasses (promotional code given out at Comic-Con 2007)
• webbed comic mask (promotional code given out at Comic-Con 2008)
• funny paper hat (promotional code given out at Comic-Con 2009)
• space trooper helmet (promotional code given out at Comic-Con 2010)
• Banfoy's Boutique Order Form and by extension Great S-Cape or Marvelous unitard(?) (promotional code given out at Comic-Con 2011)
• KoL Con 3-D Glasses (promotional code given out at KoLCon 3-D, 2006)
• KoL Con IV Pole (promotional code given out at KoLCon IV, 2007)
• KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat (promotional code given out at KoLCon V, 2008)
• KoL Con Six Pack (promotional code given out at KoLCon VI, 2009)
• Seven Loco (promotional code given out at KoLCon VII, 2010)
• KoL Con 8-Bit power bracelet (promotional code given out at KoLCon VIII, 2011)
• hippo tutu (promotional code purchasable at KoLCon VII, 2010)
• Gygaxian Libram (promotional code purchasable at KoLCon VIII, 2011)
• Junior Adventurer's kit (promotional code given out at GenCon, 2008)
• Jeppson's Malort (given out at MaxFunCon 2011)
• styrofoam peanuts (promotional code given out in the Feelies Pack, in the Store of Loathing)
• Star of Bravery (Given to participants of the KoL Con VI Costume Competition)

Crimbo Items

The full list of these items is now on this page.

Limited Items

The full list of these items is now on this page.

Formerly rare items

• beanbag chair (originally either a gift from Jick, or an item that never existed but was invented by a player who photoshopped a screenshot of his campground and bragged about non-existent items therein: more likely the latter, in fact)
• blood flower (originally dropped at The Icy Peak during The Gray Plague, stopped dropping, now available through the I Refuse! adventure)
• bone collar(originally leaked item from the Cake-Shaped Arena with a Comma Chameleon, before the Misshapen Animal Skeleton was implemented.)
• can of Red Minotaur (originally hacked before it was implemented)
• demonskin trousers (originally dropped, then stopped, reimplemented as a smithable item)
• dungeoneer's dungarees (once dropped, then stopped, then dropped in a new location)
• Ent cider (once dropped, then stopped, then was brought back)
• fez of etymology (became valuable when dictionaries became unsmithable for some time.)
• floral print shirt and coconut bikini top (originally hacked items)
• fruitcake (before Crimbo 2005 and Halloween drops, fruitcake was from Crimbo 2003)
• hovering sombrero (Before South of The Border was implemented, the Hovering Sombrero was Jick's seldom seen personal familiar.)
• lovecat tail (Drops from the rare questionable taco, now also drops in the I Refuse! adventure)
• meaty helmet turtle (originally hacked items, now a smithable recipe)
• oriole-feather headdress (former one-time gift from The Toot Oriole, now can be dropped by the Baby Bugged Bugbear)
• pail (once dropped, then stopped, now drops and is a minor sidequest reward)
• papotion of papower (replaced by Hawking's Elixir of Brilliance, then returned with the same recipe but a different effect)
• stone of eXtreme power (used to drop in The Shore, then stopped dropping, now can be mined)
  • eXtreme meat crossbow, eXtreme meat staff, eXtreme meat sword, eXtreme nose ring (items smithed from the stone of eXtreme power)
• plastic passion fruit (originally dropped at the Lemon Party Slot during The Gray Plague, stopped dropping, now available through the I Refuse! adventure and can be dropped by the Baby Bugged Bugbear)
• third-hand nunchaku (Used to drop in Degrassi Knoll, stopped dropping, then was renamed and now drops in the Haiku Dungeon)
• white belt (Briefly craftable, then no longer craftable, now craftable with the same recipe as before)

• Penguin Mafia items (used to drop, then stopped dropping, then returned when the frozen Mob Penguin was implemented)
  • iron pasta spoon
  • kneecapping stick
  • mafia aria
  • Mob Penguin cellular phone
  • scroll of pasta summoning
  • support cummerbund

• Formerly craftable items (used to have smithing recipes, these were removed, then obtainable in the I Refuse! adventure)
  • asbestos crossbow string
  • asbestos stick
  • asbestos sword hilt
  • chrome crossbow string
  • chrome stick
  • chrome sword hilt
  • linoleum crossbow string
  • linoleum stick
  • linoleum sword hilt

Items that have been completely removed from the game

• Guild Pants (replaced by batskin belt)
• Mystery Raffle Ticket (replaced by raffle ticket)
• scroll of turtle summoning (replaced by turtle totem)
• turtle factory (replaced by stone turtle)
• Turtleslinger (replaced by Mace of the Tortoise)
• Gnollish nunchaku (replaced by third-hand nunchaku)
• The original E-Z Cook Oven™ (replaced by Dramatic™ range)
• cocktailcrafting kit (replaced by Queue Du Coq cocktailcrafting kit)
• chewing gums:
  • Single-Minty Gum (replaced by tamarind-flavored chewing gum)
  • Double-Minty Gum (replaced by lime-and-chile-flavored chewing gum)
  • Triple-Minty Gum (replaced by pickle-flavored chewing gum)
  • Quadruple-Minty Gum (replaced by jabañero-flavored chewing gum)
• tiny plastic sword combinations:
  • cranmopolitan (replaced by cherry bomb)
  • skewered cranberry (replaced by skewered cherry)
  • supermartini (replaced by dry martini)
  • superolive (replaced by jumbo olive)
• scrumptious reagent potions:
  • alarming strawberry juice (replaced by oil of slipperiness)
  • dill potion (replaced by cologne of contempt)
  • drab potion (replaced by potion of potency)
  • equilibrium juice (replaced by oil of expertise)
  • grapefruit juice of powerful power (replaced by tomato juice of powerful power)
  • maraschino moxiosity potion (replaced by Connery's Elixir of Audacity)
  • orangish aphrodisiac (replaced by serum of sarcasm)
  • potion of chalky equality (replaced by oil of stability)
  • tomato smoothie (replaced by cordial of concentration)
  • wrath serum (replaced by philter of phorce)
• Completely normal Crimbo 2007 Advent Calendar items:
  • completely typical fruitcake (replaced by nanite-infested fruitcake)
  • perfectly innocuous gingerbread bugbear (replaced by nanite-infested gingerbread bugbear)
  • unremarkable candy cane (replaced by nanite-infested candy cane)
  • untainted eggnog (replaced by nanite-infested eggnog)
• Items from the ocean:
  • strange stone sphere (replaced by El Vibrato power sphere)
  • strange tiki idol (replaced by Idol of Ak'gyxoth)
• Items still assigned item id numbers, but no longer obtainable:
  • large stone triangle
  • medium stone triangle
  • small stone triangle
  • sober pill
  • strange stone pyramid