Rare Items

This page is in need of content. New items, some facts need changing (you can't get radio items anymore..?)

A rare item is an item which exists in the Kingdom but is either difficult or very expensive (usually both) to obtain.

Some rares are extremely rare drops in the Kingdom (such as the Ultra Rares) while others are items which can only be obtained as special gifts (such as the Radio Free Regalia). Still others are items which once dropped in the Kingdom but no longer do, such as the gasmask. Some are gifts which were given to everyone on a specific date, such as the Crimbo pressie. Also included are Hacked Items, as well as items used solely for testing and never available outside of exploits. Really rare and special non-rare items are listed near the bottom of the page; the rare items near the top are in no particular order.

Ultra-rare drops

• 17-ball
• Counterclockwise Watch
• crazy bastard sword
• Dallas Dynasty Falcon Crest shield
• hockey stick of furious angry rage
• hypnodisk
• incredibly dense meat gem
• optimal spreadsheet
• Platinum Yendorian Express Card
• Talisman of Baio
• Talisman of Bakula
• The Nuge's favorite crossbow
• repaid diaper

Special Gifts

• Annual Ascot (given to the artists of the 2010 Fanart Calendar)
• Ascension Souvenir T-Shirt (given to ascension testers and seldon, the first player to ascend)
• big ol' trophy (meant to be a prize for player "accordion thief"'s scavenger hunt)
• blank white card (originally given to Riff)
• Frank Gorshin trophy (given to the winners of Riff's first and second riddle contests)
• Gregarious Gregorian Smock (given to the artists of the 2011 Fanart Calendar)
• Item #13 (never truly "available", unknown whether or not they are currently in the same state)
• LARP carp Given to winners of the KoL LARPs at KoL Con
• N. O. Beer (given to the members of Noblesse Oblige)
• one million meat pancakes (first a gift, then duped many times. No longer given away.)
• Otorian Battle Scar (given to the members of Otori)
• Leapin' Trousers (given to the artists of the 2012 Fanart Calendar)
• Periodical Paintbrush (given to the artists of the 2008 Fanart Calendar)
• puzzling ribbon (given to people who solved one of HotStuff's occasional puzzle contests)
• puzzling trophy (given to the first people to solve one of HotStuff's occasional puzzle contests)
• Seasonal Beret (given to the artists of the 2009 Fanart Calendar)
• Star of Bravery (Given to participants of the KoL Con VI Costume Competition)
• Warehouse 23 bling (given to the members of Warehouse 23 and Arbitrage)

Gifts still available

• Bigger Bugfinder Blade
• Bugfinder Blade
• consolation ribbon

Radio gifts that are no longer available

As Radio KoL shut down in late 2019, there is no longer any way to obtain the prizes they used to give out.

• Voluminous Radio Hat
• Voluminous Radio Pants
• Voluminous Radio Sneakers
• radio button candy
• All items in the Radio Free Regalia and the radio accessories (the Radio KoL Antenna Ball, Bottle Opener, Flashlight, Keychain, Maracas and Patch)

Mafia Prizes

Mystery Raffle Ticket

• Acqua Del Piatto Merlot
• Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet
• cement shoes
• Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel
• Mafia bow tie
• Mafia stogie
• Mafia violin case
• Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir
• old school Mafia knickerbockers
• Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne
• Uovo Marcio Shiraz

The Raffle House

• Grimacite Bock
• Grimacite gaiters
• Grimacite galoshes
• Grimacite garter
• Grimacite gasmask
• Grimacite gat
• Grimacite gauntlets
• Grimacite girdle
• Grimacite glaive
• Grimacite goggles
• Grimacite go-go boots
• Grimacite gorget
• Grimacite gown
• Grimacite greaves
• Grimacite guayabera
• wedge of gray cheese

Hacked Items

These items have been hacked from the database.

• birthday candle
• Children's Meal of the Damned
• steaming evil
• voodoo doll
• Newbiesport™ backpack
• hemp backpack

Items used for testing

• familiar experience pill
• Mr. Shirt
• off-hand balloon
• serrated proboscis extension
• Mr. Container (note: this item may or may not belong in the Hacked Items section)

Items that no longer drop

These are items that that do not exist in great quantity in the Kingdom and for which there is no way any more will exist (unless they are reimplemented). Previous Mr. Store Monthly Specials are listed below this entry. Less-rare special event items that no longer drop are listed near the bottom of the page.

• Admiral's hat
• beet
• chunk of depleted Grimacite
• comfy blanket
• Crimbo pressie (and by extension: wrapping paper, present, Crimbo hat, Crimbo pants and Crimbo sword)
• Crimbo stocking (and by extension small Crimbo Pressie, and the special Crimbo gifts mentioned below)
• crystallized memory (and by extension floaty inverse geode)
• extra special Crimbo stocking
• forbidden sausage (Brushfires)
• gasmask
• guild application
• Emblem of Ak'gyxoth
• rainbow pearl (and by extension: rainbow pearl earring, rainbow pearl necklace, and rainbow pearl ring)
• Idol of Ak'gyxoth
• phish stick
• old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie (and by extension the special Crimbo 2007 gifts mentioned below)
• red-hot medallion
• sinister ancient tablet
• throbbing rage gland
• tropical Crimbo pressie (and by extension: tropical wrapping paper, Tropical Crimbo Hat, Tropical Crimbo Shorts, Tropical Crimbo Sword and the special Crimboween gifts mentioned below)
• Underworld trunk (and by extension: Staff of the Woodfire, Underworld flail and Underworld truncheon)
• Underworld acorn (and by extension: Underworld sapling)
• unearthed volcanic meteoroid

Previous Mr. Store items

Items formerly available from Mr. Store are considered rare. The list of these items is available on this page.

Custom Items

A custom item is a one-of-a-kind item specially designed for a specific player. These items are given out (in the words of Mr. Skullhead) "for whatever we feel like".

• 1 Meat (given to Sirris to settle a debt)
• arse-shooting crossbow (given to Kucolan)
• bugbear-smiting sword (given to spazworrier)
• Cat-Herding Prod (given to Cassandra7)
• conspicuous lack of pants (given to EyeSpeculum)
• defective Golden Mr. Accessory (given to Invariel)
• especially homoerotic frat-paddle (Given to Xenophobe, later removed)
• exclusive ultra-rare item (given to Phoenix & Mick)
• fetus-smashing club (given to Bashy)
• fuzzy bracelets (given to Mick)
• golden sausage (given to Cobain Dougans)
• heteroerotic frat-paddle (given to Mr Skullhead)
• intergalactic pom poms (given to skipperic)
• MAHI fez (given to BoozerBear)
• Mjolnir Jr. (given to Thor the Mighty)
• Panda outfit (given to Foggy)
• Radio Free Jersey (given to Amplitude)
• Radio KoL Coffee Mug (given to KolMohDee)
• Rainbow Jello Mould (given to Jelloboi)
• rubber WWBBDD? bracelet (given to BlackBeltDuck)
• Scandalously Skimpy Bikini (given to Sassylassy)
• second-hand knockoff engagement ring (given to Mr Magnifico)
• silver sausage (given to DarthDud)
• Sombrero De Vida (given to Vida Londres)
• sparkly engagement ring (given to Phoenix)
• Stupid University Diploma (given to Prima Vera Angelhair)
• Toddler-sized Dragon Costume (given to Cynn)
• Totally Gay Claymore (given to PhilANThropiSt - twice, after his initial character was disabled and deleted for policy violation and he reincarnated himself as "The Real PANTS")
• wad of Crovacite (given to Crovax1234)
• Xlyinia's notebook (given to Xlyinia)
• zombie monkey necklace (given to killer zombie monkey)

Really rares

• spooky hockey mask (Somewhat rare drop when resting)
• These four are available somewhat rarely from Lucky Surprise Eggs and doll houses:
  • tiny plastic Boris
  • tiny plastic Jarlsberg
  • tiny plastic Sneaky Pete
  • tiny plastic Susie
• These five are available from eating Spooky Surprise Eggs and using dollhives:
  • tiny plastic Dr. Awkward
  • tiny plastic Ed the Undying
  • tiny plastic Lord Spookyraven
  • tiny plastic Naughty Sorceress
  • tiny plastic protector spectre

Untradeable Special Items

Crimbo Items

• all-year sucker (Crimbo 2011)
• Big Candy's tophat (Crimbo 2011)
• coal paperweight (Crimbo 2010)
• heart of dark chocolate (Crimbo 2011)
• jingle bell (Crimbo 2010)
• snow hat (Crimbo 2009)
• snow belly (Crimbo 2009)
• snow pants (Crimbo 2009)
• time sleigh (given as a reward for saving Uncle Crimbo during Crimboween)
• The Spirit of Crimbo (Crimbo 2008)
• Unionize The Elves sign (dropped once per ascension at the Crimbo Town Toy Factory)
• wand of fudge control (Crimbo 2011)

SSPD Items

• blue glowstick (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XIII)
• blue ribbon (St. Sneaky Pete's Day VII)
• blue traffic cone (St. Sneaky Pete's Day V)
• detour shield (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XXV)
• flashing novelty button (St. Sneaky Pete's Day VIII - X, XII)
• green traffic cone (St. Sneaky Pete's Day IV)
• green glowstick (St. Sneaky Pete's Day IX)
• "Humorous" T-shirt (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XI, was originally tradeable)
• orange glowstick (St. Sneaky Pete's Day VIII)
• orange traffic cone (St. Sneaky Pete's Day I)
• pink glowstick (St. Sneaky Pete's Day X)
• purple glowstick (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XIV)
• outrageous sombrero (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XI, was originally tradeable)
• red traffic cone (St. Sneaky Pete's Day III)
• slippery when wet shield (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XXVI)
• speed limit shield (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XXIV)
• tattered paper crown (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XV-XXI), and by extension, vanilla-frosted king cake, banana-frosted king cake, blueberry-frosted king cake, and chocolate-frosted king cake, though curiously, not the pink plastic baby, brown plastic baby, blue plastic baby, and red plastic baby, as they are rare but actually tradeable.
• tin star (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XI, was originally tradeable)
• yellow glowstick (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XII)
• yellow traffic cone (St. Sneaky Pete's Day II)
• yield shield (St. Sneaky Pete's Day XXIII)

Uncle P's Antiques

• can-you-dig-it? (Professor Jacking's Laboratory)
• Ellsbury's journal (Neckback Crick)
• flyest of shirts (Professor Jacking's Laboratory)
• hair of the calf, and by extension, world's most unappetizing beverage (Professor Jacking's Laboratory)
• Mob Penguin protection contract
• Mr. Exploiter
• squirmy violent party snack (Professor Jacking's Laboratory)
• The Legendary Beat (Professor Jacking's Laboratory)

World Events

• astronaut ice-cream (reward from The LAAAAME Observatory)
• blank note, and by extension, eerily silent box (Brushfires)
• control crystal
• fossilized necklace (reward for defeating a reanimated skeleton as part of the Bigg's Dig event)
• Junior LAAAAME merit badge (reward from The LAAAAME Observatory)
• Lord Flameface's cloak (Brushfires)
• moon unit
• pirate hook (given to certain players on September 19th, 2005 (Talk Like a Pirate Day))
• rose-colored glasses (obtained from the A Suspicious-Looking Guy while during The Gray Plague)
• Senior LAAAAME merit badge (reward from The LAAAAME Observatory -- only 68 exist)
• Time Juice (given to all players after The Council of Loathing time juice fund ended)
• Yeti Protest Sign (dropped once per player at The Icy Peak)

Promotional Items

These are items that are obtained by means of using a once-only "redemption code" given out at a promotional event, or in a promotional pack.

Comic-Con

• superhero mask (promotional code given out at Comic-Con 2006)
• indie comic hipster glasses (promotional code given out at Comic-Con 2007)
• webbed comic mask (promotional code given out at Comic-Con 2008)
• funny paper hat (promotional code given out at Comic-Con 2009)
• space trooper helmet (promotional code given out at Comic-Con 2010)
• Banfoy's Boutique Order Form and by extension Great S-Cape or Marvelous Unitard (promotional code given out at Comic-Con 2011)
• Superhero Reboots (promotional code given out at Comic-Con 2012)

KoLCon

• KoL Con 3-D Glasses (promotional code given out at KoLCon 3-D, 2006)
• KoL Con IV Pole (promotional code given out at KoLCon IV, 2007)
• KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat (promotional code given out at KoLCon V, 2008)
• KoL Con Six Pack (promotional code given out at KoLCon VI, 2009)
• Seven Loco (promotional code given out at KoLCon VII, 2010)
• KoL Con 8-Bit power bracelet (promotional code given out at KoLCon VIII, 2011)
• Hat O' Nine Tails (promotional code given out at KoLCon IX, 2012)
• KoL Con X Treasure Map (promotional item given out at KoLCon X, 2013)
• Size XI Wizard's Robe (promotional item given out at KoLCon XI, 2014)
• hippo tutu (promotional code purchasable at KoLCon VII, 2010)
• Gygaxian Libram (promotional code purchasable at KoLCon VIII, 2011)
• Tome of Rad Libs (promotional code purchasable at KoLCon IX, 2012)
• Gordon Beer's Beer Garden Catalog (promotional code purchasable at KoLCon X, 2013)
• Xi Receiver Unit (promotional code purchasable at KoLCon XI, 2014)
• potted tea tree (promotional code purchasable at KoLCon XII, 2015)

Others

• Junior Adventurer's kit (promotional code given out at GenCon, 2008)
• Jeppson's Malort (given out at MaxFunCon 2011)
• styrofoam peanuts (promotional code given out in the Feelies Pack, in the Store of Loathing)

Crimbo Items

The full list of these items is now on this page.

Limited Items

The full list of these items is now on this page.

Formerly rare items

• beanbag chair (originally either a gift from Jick, or an item that never existed but was invented by a player who photoshopped a screenshot of his campground and bragged about non-existent items therein: more likely the latter, in fact)
• blood flower (originally dropped at The Icy Peak during The Gray Plague, stopped dropping, now available through the I Refuse! adventure)
• bone collar(originally leaked item from the Cake-Shaped Arena with a Comma Chameleon, before the Misshapen Animal Skeleton was implemented.)
• can of Red Minotaur (originally hacked before it was implemented)
• demonskin trousers (originally dropped, then stopped, reimplemented as a smithable item)
• dungeoneer's dungarees (once dropped, then stopped, then dropped in a new location)
• Ent cider (once dropped, then stopped, then was brought back)
• fez of etymology (became valuable when dictionaries became unsmithable for some time.)
• floral print shirt and coconut bikini top (originally hacked items)
• fruitcake (before Crimbo 2005 and Halloween drops, fruitcake was from Crimbo 2003)
• hovering sombrero (Before South of The Border was implemented, the Hovering Sombrero was Jick's seldom seen personal familiar.)
• lovecat tail (Drops from the rare questionable taco, now also drops in the I Refuse! adventure)
• meaty helmet turtle (originally hacked items, now a smithable recipe)
• oriole-feather headdress (former one-time gift from The Toot Oriole, now can be dropped by the Baby Bugged Bugbear)
• pail (once dropped, then stopped, now drops and is a minor sidequest reward)
• papotion of papower (replaced by Hawking's Elixir of Brilliance, then returned with the same recipe but a different effect)
• stone of eXtreme power (used to drop in The Shore, then stopped dropping, now can be mined)
  • eXtreme meat crossbow, eXtreme meat staff, eXtreme meat sword, eXtreme nose ring (items smithed from the stone of eXtreme power)
• plastic passion fruit (originally dropped at the Lemon Party Slot during The Gray Plague, stopped dropping, now available through the I Refuse! adventure and can be dropped by the Baby Bugged Bugbear)
• third-hand nunchaku (Used to drop in Degrassi Knoll, stopped dropping, then was renamed and now drops in the Haiku Dungeon)
• white belt (Briefly craftable, then no longer craftable, now craftable with the same recipe as before)

• Penguin Mafia items (used to drop, then stopped dropping, then returned when the frozen Mob Penguin was implemented)
  • iron pasta spoon
  • kneecapping stick
  • mafia aria
  • Mob Penguin cellular phone
  • scroll of pasta summoning
  • support cummerbund

• Formerly craftable items (used to have smithing recipes, these were removed, then obtainable in the I Refuse! adventure)
  • asbestos crossbow string
  • asbestos stick
  • asbestos sword hilt
  • chrome crossbow string
  • chrome stick
  • chrome sword hilt
  • linoleum crossbow string
  • linoleum stick
  • linoleum sword hilt

Items that have been completely removed from the game

(Note: If the item has simply been renamed but its type, effect/function and method of acquisition remains the same, it is merely "renamed" rather than "replaced": the term "replaced" belongs properly to those items in which it was not just the name that changed.)

• Guild Pants (replaced by batskin belt)
• Mystery Raffle Ticket (replaced by raffle ticket)
• scroll of turtle summoning (replaced by turtle totem)
• turtle factory (replaced by stone turtle)
• Turtleslinger (replaced by Mace of the Tortoise)
• Gnollish nunchaku (replaced by third-hand nunchaku)
• The original E-Z Cook Oven™ (renamed to Dramatic™ range)
• cocktailcrafting kit (renamed to Queue Du Coq cocktailcrafting kit)
• Cape of the Goblin King (renamed to Codpiece of the Goblin King)
• Minty chewing gums (formerly Hacked Items which there was no legitimate way to acquire):
  • Single-Minty Gum (replaced by tamarind-flavored chewing gum)
  • Double-Minty Gum (replaced by lime-and-chile-flavored chewing gum)
  • Triple-Minty Gum (replaced by pickle-flavored chewing gum)
  • Quadruple-Minty Gum (replaced by jabañero-flavored chewing gum)
• Cocktails and cocktail ingredients, during a revamp of drink combinations:
  • cranmopolitan (replaced by cherry bomb)
  • skewered cranberry (replaced by skewered cherry)
  • skewered olive(?) (replaced by skewered jumbo olive)
  • supermartini (renamed to dry martini)
  • superolive (renamed to jumbo olive)
• scrumptious reagent potions, during a revamp of potion recipes:
  • alarming strawberry juice (replaced by oil of slipperiness)
  • dill potion (replaced by cologne of contempt)
  • drab potion (replaced by potion of potency)
  • equilibrium juice (replaced by oil of expertise)
  • grapefruit juice of powerful power (replaced by tomato juice of powerful power)
  • maraschino moxiosity potion (replaced by Connery's Elixir of Audacity)
  • orangish aphrodisiac (replaced by serum of sarcasm)
  • potion of chalky equality (replaced by oil of stability)
  • tomato smoothie (replaced by cordial of concentration)
  • wrath serum (replaced by philter of phorce)
• Completely normal Crimbo 2007 Advent Calendar items that became nanite-infested:
  • completely typical fruitcake (replaced by nanite-infested fruitcake)
  • perfectly innocuous gingerbread bugbear (replaced by nanite-infested gingerbread bugbear)
  • unremarkable candy cane (replaced by nanite-infested candy cane)
  • untainted eggnog (replaced by nanite-infested eggnog)
• Items from the ocean, which changed name upon acquiring a function:
  • strange stone sphere (renamed to El Vibrato power sphere when El Vibrato first discovered the island's purpose)
  • strange tiki idol (renamed to Idol of Ak'gyxoth when the demon's name was discovered)
• Items still assigned item id numbers, but no longer obtainable:
  • large stone triangle
  • medium stone triangle
  • small stone triangle
  • strange stone pyramid
  • sober pill