Das Überkühlraum

	Name:	Das Überkühlraum
	Age:	Old Enough to Know Better
	Gender:	Fella
	Height:	Stocky
	Weight:	Portly
	Alignment:	Affable
	Hair Color:	Flesh
	Eye Color:	Burnt Sienna
	Record:	# / #

The German dynamo Das Überkühlraum began his life in relative obscurity. He grew up in a small hamlet in the German countryside, his dreams and his flügelhorn his only companions. He left his hamlet for the bustling ham of the big city at the tender age of 13. His considerable girth matched only by his impressive physical strength, he was quickly swept into the seamy underworld of caged fat-german-kid sissy-fighting.

After years spent honing his skills in the school of hard-knokken, Das Überkühlraum escaped to the Kingdom of Loathing. There he traded the open-palm slaps of sissy-fighting for the grappling and hooking of Professional Wrestling. Though he still throws the occasional limp-wristed smack, he is regarded as one of the greatest practitioners of the Bittersweet Science.

In the ring Das Überkühlraum is a perfect gentleman. That is, a perfect gentleman utterly bent on the defeat and humiliation of his opponents. He plays by the rules even when the referee isn't watching and always gives his defeated foe a friendly handshake after the match. Outside of the ring, his gentleness and generosity are only matched by the size of his gigantic man-bosoms.

Notes

• Das Überkühlraum is one of John Wilke's KWE wrestlers.
• This wrestler is represented by a trading card.

Fight Messages

• Entrance:

...weighing in at 25 stone, wearing the fetching scarlet leiderhosen... the German Dynamo, the Teutonic Terror, the Prussian Pulverizer: Das Überkühlraum!

• The crowd cheers as Das Überkühlraum prepares to use his special attack, "Hammer of the Gods!"

• Das Überkühlraum begins to sing an opera about magic rings and old gods. He pummels the unsuspecting <opponent> midway through the first aria. CR-R-A-A-CK!
• Das Überkühlraum starts to sing an opera about magic rings and old gods, but a suckerpunch from <opponent> leaves him sucking wind.

• The crowd cheers as Das Überkühlraum prepares to use his special attack, "Müllfürtzentisch!"

• Das Überkühlraum releases an odor that could only come from a steady diet of sauerbrauten and cabbage. <opponent> reels and falls forward, as does most of the crowd. CR-R-A-A-CK!
• Das Überkühlraum tries to release his signature cloud of toxic fumes, but it looks like he's run out of gas.

• Das Überkühlraum pulls a wad of sauerkraut from his liederhosen and flings it at <opponent>! <opponent> is temporarily blinded!
• Ropes:

...shouts, "I am a jelly donut!"

Gift Responses

• Weapon:

Now, kinder, why would you think a big strong wrestler needs a weapon to win a match? I don't need it, but I will use it just because it is a gift from you, mein friend.

• Armor:

Meinekleine friend, I don't know if this will fit on my big, strong wrestler's body! But I will try. Some mean people called bookies are saying Das ÜberKühlraum needs all the help he can get!

• Feast:

Ja, mein friend, this is just what Das Überkühlraum needs to grow big and strong! And also fatter and fatter, but that just means I will be more jolly, nein? Ja? Nein?

• Food:

Yes, mein little friend, this is just what Das Überkühlraum needs! A little food for me. Very little, it looks like. Ha! A little joke, ja? Very little, it looks like.

• Cocktail:

Oh, mein little friend, but Das Überkühlraum should not drink this. It is good for the frauhlein, ja, but not for a big, strong wrestler. Just for you, though, I will drink it.

• Cordial:

Ah, very good! This magic drink will make Das Überkühlraum very happy. Just remember that these drinks are for grown-ups only! Kinder who want to grow up to be big, strong wrestlers should not drink them. Wait until you are a big, strong wrestler like me, then you can drink all you want! And believe me, you will want.

• Booze:

Ah, hard liquor. Though kids like yourself should not drink grown-up drinks, for me this drink shall do much good. You see, sometimes, mein little friend, Das ÜberKühlraum thinks too much. This magic drink makes him stop thinking, ja?

• Beer:

Ah, thank you for this nice glass of water! This is a little joke - though this beer is not strong and dark like the bieren of my country, surely it will get me just as drunk. If I drink three times as many. Ha! Another little joke!

• Spleen:

Ah, a booster to my stats! Thank you, mein little friend. This will surely help me win the fight today. If you want to be big and strong like me, you should take some of these every day. And don't forget to eat your vegetables, ja? Also, do not smoke.

• Misc:

Thank you, mein friend! I am not sure how to use this, but I am sure I will figure it out before the big match, ja? If not, perhaps I can just throw it at my opponent!

References

• Das Überkühlraum roughly means "The Super Refrigerator" or "Over refrigerating chamber".
• Technically, "Das Überkühlraum" is very wrong German -- it should be "Der Überkühlraum", which literally translated means "The over-cold storage room", or "The over cooling chamber". The correct German phrase for "The Super Refrigerator" would be "Der Superkühlraum" or, even more correctly, "Der Superkühlschrank".
• Das Überkühlraum is dressed in traditional Bavarian style, but is referred to as "the Prussian Pulverizer". Most Bavarians would consider being confused with Prussians an insult -- and vice versa.
• There is a side-ways reference to the girl's school-yard game Sissyfight 2000 in the text. The term "sissy-fighting" and the phrase "defeat and humiliation of his opponents" are the two most obvious nods.
• Das Überkühlraum's "I am a jelly donut" battle cry is a reference to the urban legend that the famous JFK quote "Ich bin ein Berliner" actually translates as "I am a jelly donut". This also serves as yet another reference to Eddie Izzard's Dress to Kill.
• The opera about magic rings and old gods is a reference to Der Ring des Nibelungen, a series of German operas written by Richard Wagner.