Nayztameetjoo

	Name:	Nayztameetjoo
	Age:	??
	Gender:	Hombre
	Height:	Yes
	Weight:	Big-boned
	Alignment:	Chaotic
	Hair Color:	??
	Eye Color:	Brick
	Record:	# / #

Nayztameetjoo is your basic robotic space ninja. Y'know, like you see hanging around the comic shop every weekend. Little is known about his origins or his fighting style. His death's head glare is almost as fierce as his prowess with his weapon of choice, the pogo stick. If you don't think a pogo stick is a weapon, clearly you've never been hit in the face with one.

Nayztameetjoo says little, fights like a mad robotic space bastard, and generally raises more questions than he answers. Why does he have a flagpole stuck down the back of his pants? Why a pogo stick? What's a robotic space ninja doing in a league full of mostly human characters? None can say.

No one is sure what Nayztameetjoo does when he's not fighting. He's resisted the considerable charms of every female wrestler in the league, preferring to spend his evenings alone drinking 10-30W and practicing on his pogo stick.

Notes

• Nayztameetjoo is one of John Wilke's KWE wrestlers.
• This wrestler is represented by a trading card.

Fight Messages

• Entrance:

...wearing the shiny metal body armor and weighing in at 8.89397 talents -- some call him the space ninja and some call him the gangster of love, but we call him... NAYZTAMEETJOO!

• The crowd cheers as Nayztameetjoo prepares to use his special attack, "Pogo pogo pogo!"

• Nayztameetjoo jumps on his pogostick and hops erratically around the ring! He manages to land on <opponent> by sheer luck! WHACK!
• Nayztameetjoo jumps on his pogostick and hops erratically around the ring! Unfortunately, an extra-high jump makes him crash into the overhead lights!

• The crowd cheers as Nayztameetjoo prepares to use his special attack, "Flag Whip!"

• Nayztameetjoo uses the flag that's somehow stuck to his back to whip <opponent> like a bowl full of cream! WHACK!
• Nayztameetjoo tries to whip <opponent> with his flag, but misses. He spins around trying to hit <opponent>, but just gets dizzy and falls over!

• Nayztameetjoo smacks <opponent> upside the <giblets> with his pogo stick! WHACK! WHACK!
• Quote:

...yells, "Tell me your answer true, Dave!"

Gift Responses

• Weapon:

A weapon, dave? That does not compute. I am a weapon. But perhaps this will enable me to even more soundly defeat my enemy. But not the enemy....within.

• Armor:

Namu! An armor upgrade! Thank you, dave. This will enable me to protect my soul. Which, in case you were wondering, still burns.

• Feast:

I do not eat, dave, but this food appears to be nourishing to my battle circuits. I can only hope I do not overload on the flavor. Usually after I eat this stuff, my heart still burns.

• Food:

Even though I do not need to eat, dave, this food should provide some sustenance for my circuits. It does seem to enrage the enemy....within, though.

• Cocktail:

Ah, the aesthetic ideal is realized by this cocktail, dave. Firey alcohol, sweet mixers, and girly accessories. Yes, this cocktail shall ignite the fire in my soul, silence the enemy within, and then perhaps I can rest. Keep in mind, though, that even though I rest, my soul still burns.

• Cordial:

This mixed drink does not compute, dave. The fire of the alcohol, which ignites my soul, is at once muted and enhanced by the sweetness with which it is mixed. Perhaps by pondering it I shall better understand my enemy. But I shall not better understand the enemy... within.

• Booze:

Namu! A bottle of hard liquor! This is exactly what I need, dave, to light a fire within my soul and quench to voice of my inner enemy. The soul still burns, dave. The soul still burns.

• Beer:

Ah, I drink the beer and my soul is quenched, dave. A raging fire becomes dying embers. I now feel the calm of soul and spirit that will enable me to defeat my enemies. It may not defeat the enemy.... within, but it does quiet him down somewhat.

• Spleen:

Overconfidence is the greatest enemy, dave. But I do believe this stat-booster will enable me to defeat even the toughest of enemies. But it will not defeat the enemy... within.

• Misc:

This does not compute. I am sure it will help me in the battle, but I do not know how. Daisy, daisy, tell me your answer true...

References

• Nayztameetjoo is a parody of Yoshimitsu from the Namco fighting games Tekken and Soul Calibur. His use of a pogo stick as a weapon refers to one of Yoshimitsu's signature moves, where he hops around on his sword like a pogo stick. The "Flag Whip" attack is based on another of Yoshimitsu's moves, where he spins around and tries to hit his opponent with the flag on his back. His use of the phrase "Namu" (a Japanese phrase that's roughly the Buddhist equivalent of "amen") also echoes Yoshimitsu, and "The soul still burns" is a line spoken by the narrator/announcer of Soul Calibur. In Soul Calibur, Yoshimitsu has a mechanical arm; in Tekken, he is a full robot.
• The flag depicts an image of Pac Man, symbol of Namco (creators of the Tekken and Soul Calibur series).
• His "Chaotic" Alignment is a reference to either Dungeons and Dragons, in which chaotic alingment indicates a general disregard for the laws and rules of society, or NetHack, in which Chaotic is basically synonymous with evil. Also, alignment being a vital statistic is by itself a reference to D&D, Nethack and things like them.
• The description of Nayztameetjoo as a "robotic space ninja" combined with the line "like you see hanging around the comic shop every weekend" may be a reference to the Android's Dungeon, the comic book shop on The Simpsons.
• 10-30W is a spoof of the popular motor oil grade 10W-30.
• The references to "dave" and the song "Daisy Bell" come from 2001: A Space Odyssey.
• The way "the enemy.... within" is written probably refers to the Rush song "The Enemy Within". Another song on the album it apears on (Grace Under Pressure), "The Body Electric", features a rogue android. (The phrase "The Body Electric" is originally from Walt Whitman's poetry collection Leaves of Grass. This quotation was featured in an episode of The Twilight Zone involving androids.)
• Nayztameetjoo's weight of 8.89397 talents equals 500 pounds.
• The line "some call him the space ninja and some call him the gangster of love" is a reference to the opening words of The Joker, a song by the Steve Miller Band.
• "Nayztameetjoo" sounds a lot like "Nice to meet you".