Princess Rutabaga

	Name:	Princess Rutabaga
	Age:	Ingenue
	Gender:	Femininininine
	Height:	Dwarven
	Weight:	None of your business.
	Alignment:	Sunshine and Kittens
	Hair Color:	Mustard
	Eye Color:	Violet
	Record:	# / #

This strange tiny lady comes from an even stranger and equally tiny kingdom. It is inhabited entirely by sentient fungus people who wear pantaloons and little red vests. Little is known about these bizarre vegetable mutations, and the princess herself is hard to interview on the subject. She has many castles and always seems to be in another one when someone is looking for her.

Despite her overwhelming bizarreness, Princess Rutabaga is kind and well-liked by her subjects and the public at large. Her ability to produce any kind of produce from beneath her dress makes her a hit at parties. Somehow tied to her vegetable magic is her ability to hover off the ground for a few seconds at a time. It's hardly odd when you think about it, because most vegetables have at least some hovering capacity.

In the ring the Princess is a fearsome foe. Her vegetable attacks and vicious punches and kicks have earned her a reputation as a force to be reckoned with. A force with which to be reckoned. She is also currently championing a drive to end the ban on ending sentences with prepositions.

Notes

• Princess Rutabaga is one of John Wilke's KWE wrestlers.
• This wrestler is represented by a trading card.

Fight Messages

• Entrance:

...all the way from the Vegetable Kingdom, it's the salubrious and beautiful PRINCESS RUTABEGA! She's not in another castle, folks, she's IN THE HOUSE!

• The crowd cheers as Princess Rutabaga prepares to use her special attack, "Turnip Toss!"

• Princess Rutabaga reaches under her dress and produces a turnip out of thin air! She hurls the turnip at <opponent>, who takes it upside the noggin and hits the mat! ZZZZZWAP!
• Princess Rutabaga reaches under her dress and produces a turnip out of thin air! She tosses it at <opponent>, but the throw is short! The turnip lies on the mat, looking blandly nutritious.

• The crowd cheers as Princess Rutabaga prepares to use her special attack, "Crafty Hover!"

• Princess Rutabaga jumps into the air and hovers to and fro, kicking <opponent> with her tiny little boots! ZZZZZWAP!
• Princess Rutabaga jumps into the air and hovers briefly, then comes crashing down! Flying is the art of throwing oneself at the ground and missing -- looks like she threw herself at the air and missed.

• Princess Rutabaga throws her tiara like a boomerang, smacking <opponent> in the skull! ZZZZZWAP!
• Ropes:

...yells, "I'm gonna disembowel you and make something cute with your entrails! Tee-hee!"

Gift Responses

• Weapon:

Ooo, this is so cute! It's the perfect thing for beating my opponent completely senseless! I love it, and I love you for giving it to me!

• Armor:

This'll keep me from getting hurt too bad tonight! I don't like getting hurt. But I do like daisies! Daisies are just so cute, don't you think? I do!

• Feast:

Wow, this looks like great food! It'll make me all big and strong! I hope it doesn't make me fat, though! Although baby seals are fat and they're cute! Do you like seals? I do!

• Food:

Wow, this looks like some tasty food! Actually, it really doesn't but I'm sure it's good 'cause you gave it to me! Don't you just love food? It's great! I can't wait to decapitate my opponent tonight!

• Cocktail:

Oh, this is so cute! Some of these kind of drinks have little umbrellas in them! Do you think they're afraid of rain? I like rain! Don't you? Rain makes the flowers grow and the grass grow and gives all the animals a drink! Speaking of drink, you just gave me this one! So I'll drink it!

• Cordial:

This drink was sweet! Just like me! And like you too, since you sent it to me! I like sweet things, don't you? Chocolate and cookies and candy and flowers! Well, flowers aren't sweet, but they sure smell sweet, don't they?

• Booze:

Oooo, this tasted nasty! But it sure made me feel all giggly! I like giggling, don't you? It makes me so happy! Not as happy as when I get to pet a baby bunny, though. Don't you like baby bunnies? I do!

• Beer:

I suppose I shouldn't drink beer, 'cause I'm a princess and beer isn't very cute, but it sure is foamy! Bubbles are pretty! Don't you think so? I like bubbles. Not as much as butterflies, though! Butterflies are so pretty!

• Spleen:

You sent me a stat booster! How sweet of you! Do you like puppies and kittens? I do too! I can't wait to get in the ring and stomp my opponent into a bloody mess!

• Misc:

This is sure to keep me from losing tonight! Not that I was going to lose, 'cause I always win 'cause I'm so cute! You know what else is cute? Narcissism!

References

• Princess Rutabaga is a parody of Princess Peach from the Super Mario series of games, right down to her character design. Her name references Peach's original name of "Princess Toadstool".
• "Princess Rutabaga from the Vegetable Kingdom" may also be a reference to Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom from the NES game of the same name.
• The "sentient fungus people" from her homeland represent the Toads.
• The line about "many castles" is a reference to Super Mario Bros., where at the end of Worlds 1-7, a Toad would tell you "Thank you, Mario! But our princess is in another castle."
• "Her ability to produce any kind of produce from beneath her dress" is a reference to one of Peach's moves in Super Smash Bros. Melee.
• "Her ability to hover off the ground for a few seconds at a time" is a reference to the similar ability Princess Peach had in Super Mario Bros. 2 as well as Super Smash Bros. Melee.
• "Most vegetables have at least some hovering capacity" is an internal reference to the Levitating Potato familiar.
• Her fondness for daisies is most likely a reference to Princess Daisy, the princess of nearby Sarassaland. Daisy is often paired with Peach in Mario sports titles. Furthermore, Princess Peach was misnamed "Princess Daisy" in the Super Mario Bros. movie.
• Princess Rutabega's boomerang tiara attack is a reference to Sailor Moon, a Japanese anime featuring a schoolgirl who fights evil using, among other things, a tiara weapon.
• "Crafty Hover's" failed message (throwing oneself at the ground and missing) is a reference to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.