The Grand Poo-Bah

	Name:	The Grand Poo-Bah
	Age:	Under the Hill
	Gender:	Fella
	Height:	Penguinesque
	Weight:	Lithe
	Alignment:	Unpleasant
	Hair Color:	Midnight
	Eye Color:	Cornflower
	Record:	# / #

The Grand Poo-Bah used to be an unassuming grocery store clerk until he was called upon to join a mysterious religious sect known as the Knights Templers. The Templers are rumored to be the behind-the-scenes rulers of most of the goings-on in the Kingdom. Most of their in-front-of-the-scenes activities consist of driving around in tiny little cars and throwing candy at people, for some reason. The Templers believe that the soft spots on either side of their head are sacred and private, and therefore wear funny little hats to cover them.

Poo-Bah's fighting style can best be described as dirty. Dirrrrty, even. He's not above using anything in and around the ring as a weapon - water buckets, stools, spectators, you name it. He also uses the marks of his religous sect as tools of destruction. It has never been said of him that there is no sects in his violence.

Despite his seedy reputation and small stature, The Grand Poo-Bah is never without an entourage of adoring friends, fans, and hangers-on. Being an arrogant little prick is no handicap in the world of Kingdom Wrestling, provided you're an arrogant little prick who wins matches.

Notes

• The Grand Poo-Bah is one of John Wilke's KWE wrestlers.
• If you give him gifts, he will happily respond.

Competition History

• Before tournament play began, his original record was 0/1.
• KWE Tournament I: Beat Princess Rutabaga in the Preliminaries, lost to Kitty the Zmobie Basher in the Semifinals, bringing his record to 1/2.

Fight Messages

• The Grand Poo-Bah flings his fez at <opponent>! The smell of hair oil causes him/her to reel!
• The crowd cheers as The Grand Poo-Bah prepares to use his special attack, "Tassel Doff!"

• The Grand Poo-Bah pulls the tassel out of his fez and viciously beats <opponent> with it, all the while sucking in his gut and singing a cheesy love ballad.

• The crowd cheers as The Grand Poo-Bah prepares to use his special attack, "AKA Driver!"

• The Grand Poo-Bah leaps from the ring and returns in a miniature bitchin' meatcar, running over <opponent> while hurling hard candy at the crowd.

• The Grand Poo-Bah jumps onto the ropes and shouts, "This is for the honor of the Knights Templer, ya mook!" The crowd goes wild!

References

• The Knights Templar was a Christian Military Order shrouded in mystery and conspiracy theories.
• The activities of the Templers refer to the Shriners, a group often seen in parades, driving small cars and wearing fezzes.
• The line "there is no sects in his violence" is a reference to the repeated line "There's no sex in your violence" in the Bush song Everything Zen