Guzzlr Client Selection
Welcome, valued Guzzlr team member! Select a tier below to accept a client.
With a client in progress:
- You can abandon this client and take a different one, but that EULA you didn't read limits you to one cancellation per day.
You have completed X Bronze Tier deliveries.
You have completed X Gold Tier deliveries.
You have completed X Platinum Tier deliveries.
With Gold locked:
- Make 5 Bronze Tier deliveries to unlock Gold Tier clients!
With Platinum locked:
- Make 5 Gold Tier deliveries to unlock Platinum Tier clients!
Abandon Client |
You give up on that delivery.
Bronze Tier |
You select a Bronze Tier client, <name>, a <species> from <location>.
<name> wants:
something
Gold Tier | [limit 3/day] |
You select a Gold Tier client, <name>, a <species> from <location>.
<name> wants:
something
Platinum Tier | [limit 1/day] |
You select a Platinum Tier client, <name>, a <species> from <location>.
Platinum Tier customers receive personalized Guzzlr cocktails. Premium ingredients have been dispatched.
An autonomous drone arrives almost immediately, dropping off a set of fancy cocktail fixings.
![]() | You acquire an item: Guzzlr cocktail set |
Don't take a client right now |
Maybe later.
Occurs on using your Guzzlr tablet.
Notes
- Abandoned deliveries count against your daily limit for Gold and Platinum tiers.
- While on a delivery (and only while possessing the requested drink), you get messages after successful combats indicating your lack of ability to find your client, or that you have finally been successful.
- After the fight, you glance around looking for <client>. There's no sign of them.
- You look inside <place>, but there's no sign of <client> there.
- You tap a random <species> on the shoulder and ask if they're <client>, but they aren't.
- You finally manage to track down <name>.
- Clients offer rewards of Guzzlrbucks and stat points after you give them their delivery. On the combat in which you meet your client, Guzzlrbuck reward is increased by having Guzzlr pants equipped, while stat gain is increased by having Guzzlr hat equipped.
- Bronze tier clients offer 2-4 Guzzlrbucks and 10 of each stat.
- Gold tier clients offer 5-7 Guzzlrbucks and 50 of each stat.
- Platinum tier clients offer 20-25 Guzzlrbucks and 150 of each stat.
- Each subsequent client delivery of the day takes an increasing number of combats.
Search progression
- Whenever you make progress in your searches of the client, a hidden value, which starts at 0 each delivery, is incremented by X, where X is 11 - Delivery of the day, floored at 3.
- If you were wearing the Guzzlr shoes during the fight, progress is increased by Y instead, where Y is X * 1.5, rounded down.
- A search is over when the hidden value gets equal to or greater than 100. Progress is kept across rollover, and can be resolved with as little as a single combat on the next day, if sufficient.
nth successful delivery of the day | X | Combats required | Y | Combats required with Guzzlr shoes |
---|---|---|---|---|
1 | 10 | 10 | 15 | 7 |
2 | 9 | 12 | 13 | 8 |
3 | 8 | 13 | 12 | 9 |
4 | 7 | 15 | 10 | 10 |
5 | 6 | 17 | 9 | 12 |
6 | 5 | 20 | 7 | 15 |
7 | 4 | 25 | 6 | 17 |
8+ | 3 | 34 | 4 | 25 |
Drinks asked
- Bronze clients can ask for:
- a little sump'm sump'm
- bottle of gin
- bottle of rum
- bottle of tequila
- bottle of vodka
- bottle of whiskey
- calle de miel
- day-old beer
- ducha de oro
- fuzzbump
- horizontal tango
- margarita
- monkey wrench
- ocean motion
- overpriced "imported" beer
- plain old beer
- perpendicular hula
- pink pony
- rockin' wagon
- salty dog
- screwdriver
- slap and tickle
- slip 'n' slide
- strawberry daiquiri
- strawberry wine
- tequila sunrise
- vodka martini
- whiskey and soda
- whiskey sour
- wine spritzer
- Gold clients can ask for:
- a little sump'm sump'm
- backwoods screwdriver
- barrel-aged martini
- beertini
- bloody mary
- Bloody Nora
- bottle of laundry sherry
- bottle of Lieutenant Freeman
- bottle of sea wine
- bottle of tequila
- Bowl of Scorpions
- Caipiranha
- calle de miel
- carrot claret
- cheap Chinese beer
- Cobb's Knob Wurstbrau
- Crimbojito
- CSA cheerfulness ration
- cup of primitive beer
- dry martini
- dusty bottle of Pinot Noir
- dusty bottle of Zinfandel
- Earth and Firewater
- electric snakebite
- elemental caipiroska
- elven cellocello
- extra-spicy bloody mary
- Falcon™ Maltese Liquor
- Fantasma en la Máquina
- fishelada
- flask of Amontillado
- Fog Murderer
- fountain 'soda'
- gingerbread wine
- glass of drippy wine
- glass of herbal tequila
- Gnollish sangria
- Gordon Bennett
- Green Manalishi
- grog
- hacked gibson
- herringcello
- horizontal tango
- hot mint schnocolate
- hot watered rum
- iced plum wine
- junk yard
- lumbering jack
- Mad Train wine
- mandarina colada
- margarita
- martini
- melted Jell-o shot
- moonberry wine cooler
- More Humanitini than Humanitini
- Morlock's Mark Bourbon
- Murderer's Punch
- natto-infused sake
- ocean motion
- Paint A Vulgar Pitcher
- painting of a glass of wine
- pear schnapps
- perfect negroni
- pink pony
- plain old beer
- premium malt liquor
- red red wine
- rockin' wagon
- rodeo whiskey
- roll in the hay
- Russian Ice
- salinated mint julep
- sangria
- shot of pear schnapps
- shot of rotgut
- shot of tomato schnapps
- Siberian sunrise
- Simepore slime
- Sizzling Sinner
- slimy fermented bile bladder
- slip 'n' slide
- soft green echo eyedrop antidote martini
- spooky eggnog
- strawberry wine
- Supernova Champagne
- Taco Dan's Taco Stand Chimichangarita
- tangarita
- tankard of ale
- tequila sunrise
- Third Base
- unnamed cocktail
- White Hyborian
- white lightning
- wasabi-infused sake
- yellow brick road
- zmobie
- Platinum clients will accept any of the following:
Clients generation
- Species include (the names are randomly generated from different wordbuckets):
- Alien
- Pokbov Jupfoz
- Tikbaz Sectik
- Vazfod Pelvob
- (seems to use the same naming schema as Voting Booth alien candidates)
- Attorney
- Clara Mercer, Esq.
- Arlette McPherson, Esq.
- Gamer
- (Uses the GameInformPowerDailyPro Walkthru usernames)
- ShadowElf
- ShadowElf
- ShadowElf
- ShadowElf
- ShadowElf
- Hobo
- Dandy "Halitosis" McDurkeee
- Jake "Rottencrotch" Westinghous
- Mickey "Curiously Dense" Nichols
- Quinn "Candy Cane" Mills
- Quinn "Poo-Gas" Nicholson
- Ralph "Dart-Hurling" Capulet
- (Uses Hobopolis Hobo names?)
- Pirate
- Comprehensive Reynaldo Chartreuse
- Extra Jack Goat
- Female Steven Rose
- Fleshy Jack Crimson
- Individual Jack Blue
- Principal Jack Lizard
- Signed Jack Pig
- Scientist
- Dr. Benny Jones
- Dr. Chip Shelton
- Dr. Jane Hale
- Dr. Patrick Simmons
- Dr. Ralph Cooke
- Skeleton
- Coccyx Salisbury
- Femur Nite
- Fibula Lennon
- Skull Hernandez
- Skull Stemple
- Sorority Orc
- Ainsli Whittingstall
- Brittni St. Cloud
- Danni Sheltonbury
- Missi Witchburn
- Staci Hillings
- Vampire
- Barnabas Ogletomb
- Cassius Bloodbane
- Gabriel Greysteam
- Lucius Burnsweat
- Remus Grodgrave
- (Uses Dreadsylvania vampire names?)
- Alien
- Each species type has a unique ending message:
- "Thank you for this delivery of entertaining hu-man fluid. Please accept this hu-man gratuity."
- "Thank you. This will help me with my... legal matters. Here, take this for your trouble."
- "Thank you. This will provide energy for my intense gaming needs. Please accept this tip."
- "Don't mind if I do! And here, don't mind if you do either."
- "Arr. Thanks. This'll set my sheets to the wind. Have a couple of pieces of eight for your trouble."
- "The reagent! At last! Thank you, here's your consultation fee."
- "Thanks! Say, you didn't happen to bring a mop, did you? No? Oh well. Oh right, here's your tip..."
- "Omigod, thank you thank you thank you! Here, here's a little something for your trouble. Byeeeee!"
- "Blah. Here."