ChibiBuddy™
From A KoL Wiki
ChibiBuddy™
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| Fitness: | 
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| Intelligence: | 
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| Socialization: | 
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| Alignment: | 
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| Feed your ChibiBuddy™ |
| Entertain your ChibiBuddy™ |
| Interact with your ChibiBuddy™ |
| Explore with your ChibiBuddy™ |
| Have a ChibiChat™ |
You spend a few minutes talking with your ChibiBuddy™ about <topic>, doing push-ups while you wait for him to process each argument you make. By the time you're done, you feel a little cooler, wiser, and stronger.
 | You acquire an effect: ChibiChanged™ (duration: Y Adventures) |
| Watch your ChibiBuddy™ for a While |
You watch <name> for a while to see how he's doing:
[ Fitness Message ]
| Put your ChibiBuddy™ away |
Playing with your ChibiBuddy™
- Feeding, Entertaining, Interacting with, or Exploring with your ChibiBuddy™ allows you to increase the number of points in a stat while decreasing another for no adventure cost.
- While doing this, you may receive "Random Events!" that will increase a random stat if it currently has more than five points, or decrease that stat if you have less than five.
- Five times per day, you may spend adventures to add or remove points from a stat without increasing or decreasing another with no chance of receiving a "Random Event!".
- You may Have a ChibiChat™ once per day, granting the ChibiChanged™ effect for Y turns, where Y is 5 times the age of your ChibiBuddy™ in days.
- Watching your ChibiBuddy™ gives you four randomly chosen messages that respectively correspond to the current number of stat points in each category.
- During rollover, your ChibiBuddy™ will "cross some items off his to-do list." This increases or decreases two to three stats at random.
- <Name>'s been busy since you last saw him! He crossed some items off his to-do list:
[ To-do List Messages ] - And what looks like some older to-do items from further back:
[ To-do List Messages ]
- <Name>'s been busy since you last saw him! He crossed some items off his to-do list:
- Putting away your ChibiBuddy™ returns you to your inventory.
- If your ChibiBuddy™ ever has 0 or 10 points in a single stat, he will die. Your ChibiBuddy™ (on) will revert to a ChibiBuddy™ (off), and become tradable again.
- You can then use your ChibiBuddy™ (off) to start over with a new ChibiBuddy™.
When ChibiBuddy™ Dies
Low Fitness
- Oh no! <name> died from exhaustion after his third trip to the kitchen.
- Oh no! <name> drank three Ridiculously Huge Gulps of Mountain Stream Soda. His kidneys gave out around ounce 157.
- Oh no! <name> found an all-you-can-eat salmon buffet, and ate so much he got mercury poisoning.
- Oh no! <name> made a three-gallon Creme Bruleé, and immolated himself trying to use a flamethrower to caramelize the top.
- Oh no! <name> may or may not be dead, but he's a giant blob who doesn't move or respond to stimuli, so let's just say he's dead.
- Oh no! <name> racked up thousands of dollars in debt to Chinese food delivery drivers, and got whacked by the Chinese mafia.
- Oh no! <name> tried to do a few jumping jacks, but his heart gave out after the first one.
- Oh no! <name> won an Entire-Ham-Eating Contest. His prize was death by salt overdose.
High Fitness
- Oh no! <name> drank one too many protein shakes, came down with a bad case of the "too much protein shake" shakes, and expired.
- Oh no! <name> realized the only way to get 0% body fat was to become a ChibiSkeleton™, so he started working on that.
- Oh no! <name> tried to get rid of that last 1% of body fat, and ended up turning himself into a skeleton.
- Oh no! <name> tried to go a few miles an hour faster on the treadmill, got thrown off, and broke his little ChibiNeck™.
- Oh no! <name> tried to swim extra laps in the pool, but he got muscle cramps and drowned.
- Oh no! <name> went night skiing to burn some extra calories, and ran into the pole under the ChibiSkiLift™.
- Oh no! <name> went out jogging trying to burn some extra calories, and got hit by a ChibiCar™.
Low Intelligence
- Oh no! <name> ate a bunch of those silica gel "Do Not Eat" packets and dessicated himself.
- Oh no! <name> didn't have an umbrella, so he put a plastic bag over his head to keep the rain off him.
- Oh no! <name> felt an urge to take off his clothes and run around, and the bottle of cleaning solution said it "prevents streaking," so... well, he ended up poisoning himself.
- Oh no! <name> lit a match so he could see where the gas leak was coming from.
- Oh no! <name> pushed too hard in his ear with a cotton swab and stabbed his brain.
- Oh no! <name> spent hours in the shower because his shampoo bottle said, "lather, rinse, repeat," eventually having a heart attack from exhaustion.
- Oh no! <name> tried to dry his hair in the shower and electrocuted himself.
- Oh no! <name> tried to follow a chicken across the road and got hit by a car.
- Oh no! <name> tried to tie his shoelaces and ended up strangling himself, somehow.
- Oh no! <name> tried to walk and chew gum at the same time and fell down a flight of stairs.
High Intelligence
- Oh no! <name> came up with a Grand Unified Theory of Everything, and was immediately transmuted into a being of pure energy.
- Oh no! <name> designed a puzzle that was too hard for even he himself to solve, and died of a fatal paradox.
- Oh no! <name> finally solved his 64x64x64 Rubik's cube, and had nothing left to live for.
- Oh no! <name> finished solving the "Hard," "Extra-Hard," and "Impossible" Sudoku puzzles in his book, and died of boredom.
- Oh no! <name> invented a better mousetrap, and the world beat a path to his door. Then he got the plague from an assassin rat, and died.
- Oh no! <name> invented a machine that would provide unlimited free energy to the world, and was immediately murdered by oil cartels.
- Oh no! <name> invented a nanobot mouthwash that would make it so you never had to brush your teeth, and was kidnapped and assassinated by Big Toothpaste.
- Oh no! <name> tried to fathom the mysteries of the universe until his brain imploded.
- Oh no! <name> uploaded his personality into a computer and deleted his physical form. (No one told him he didn't have a physical form and was already in a computer. Poor sap.)
- Oh no! <name> used a tesseract to fold space, but was executed by the cosmic police for folding it into origami cranes.
Low Socialization
- Oh no! <name> cried so many bitter tears of loneliness that he got dehydrated and died.
- Oh no! <name> got stuck in some Chinese handcuffs, and didn't have a friend to help him out of them, so he starved to death.
- Oh no! <name> probably died in his ChibiApartment™ a few days ago, but nobody noticed until today.
- Oh no! <name> wanted to do some crazy stunts on his skateboard, and didn't have any friends to talk him out of it, so he ended up breaking his neck.
- Oh no! <name> wasted away from lack of human companionship. Poor little guy.
High Socialization
- Oh no! <name> fell in with a bad crowd and came to a bad end. The specifics are too depressing to tell you.
- Oh no! <name> got a few social diseases from his many social contacts, and one of them was fatal.
- Oh no! <name> got a little too friendly with someone whose boyfriend was a little too jealous, and now he's a little too dead.
- Oh no! <name> got overstimulated trying to manage all his social obligations and gave himself a ChibiPulmonaryInfarction™.
- Oh no! <name> took a double-dog-dare from one of his many friends to jump off the top of the ChibiPireStateBuilding™. It didn't go well.
Low Alignment
- Oh no! <name> discovered the Devil's true name in the Necbronomicon, but got sucked into Hey Deze when he uttered it.
- Oh no! <name> lit a fire just to watch it burn, but watched a little too closely and got himself all immolated.
- Oh no! <name> tried to rig a death trap for his nemesis, but ended up falling into it himself. Irony-based deaths are common among evil ChibiBuddies™.
- Oh no! <name> was gloating about his nefarious plan's inevitable success when he accidentally fell to his death. You see, that way the hero isn't to blame for killing him. Handy!
- Oh no! <name> was put on trial and executed for war crimes.
High Alignment
- Oh no! Aliens searching for enlightened beings found <name> and transported him to another dimension.
- Oh no! It looks like <name> was too pure for this world, and so exited it for another one.
- Oh no! <name> cleared his soul of engrams and became a being of pure energy.
- Oh no! <name> gave away all of his ChibiPossessions™ and froze to death.
- Oh no! <name> sacrificed himself for the Greater Good.
- Oh no! <name> went on a hunger strike for Kingdom-wide peace, and it didn't end so well.
Notes
- Occurs when using a ChibiBuddy™ (on).
- All ChibiBuddies™ start out with exactly twenty stat points distributed across the four stats.
- The "<name> is X days old" message will only appear once your ChibiBuddy™ is at least two days old.
- Your ChibiBuddy™ (on)'s stats are not changed by adding to or removing from your closet or display case.
- A ChibiBuddy™'s portrait number is determined by its name: for each character in the ChibiBuddy™'s name, that character has its unicode value added to one and taken modulo 11 (with the exception that 0 is given a base value of 0 instead of its intended 4 prior to being added to one). These individual values are then summed and added to one; the total number of characters in the ChibiBuddy™'s name is then subtracted from this sum, and that value is taken modulo 11 to give the ChibiBuddy™'s image.
- Keeping your ChibiBuddy™ alive for 11 days qualifies you for the Great Responsibility trophy.
- See How to Chibi for a quick guide to being a great ChibiParent™.
References
- US President Gerald Ford was reportedly described as being "so dumb he couldn't walk and chew gum at the same time." (sometimes misquoted as "couldn't fart and chew gum")
- "Ridiculously Huge Gulp" would be a more honest name for 7-Eleven's oversized "Big Gulp" soft drink cup.
- The "lather, rinse, repeat" death is a variant of a joke that's nearly as old as shampoo bottles.
- The "fatal paradox" death refers to the philosophical paradox of an omnipotent God attempting to create a stone that he cannot lift.
- Chibi is Japanese slang for a small child or short person.
- The ridiculous screed in the middle of a comic about anthropomorphic aardvarks is a reference to issue #186 of Cerebus.
- Becoming an energy being after the removal of hostile entities from the body is the goal of Scientology.
