Vaso De Agua

	Name:	Vaso De Agua
	Age:	??
	Gender:	Fella
	Height:	Pretty Tall
	Weight:	Svelte
	Alignment:	??
	Hair Color:	Copperish
	Eye Color:	Periwinkle
	Record:	# / #

No wrestler can match the mysterious and vainglorious Vaso de Agua for sheer arrogance. Cloaked in mystique and shrouded by the mask he wears, he strikes terror into the hearts of his opponents and weakness into the knees of the ladies. He's the cock-of-the-walk, or at least the caulk-of-the-wok. Little is known about Vaso de Agua, and what little is known only adds to the mystery.

No birthdate, no documentation, no phone, lights, nor motorcar... all that is known of him is that he fights like a demon but throws like a girl. He has never allied himself to good or evil, but is equally as likely to to help you across the street as to fracture your skull with a folding chair.

From whence did he come? Why does he hide his face behind a mask? What the hell does "Vaso de Agua" mean? Vaso de Agua will never tell. He has few words for anyone, save the endless parade of women that have fallen victim to his undeniable charm and unquenchable appetites.

Notes

• Vaso De Agua is one of John Wilke's KWE wrestlers.
• The phrase "Vaso de Agua" is Spanish for "Glass of Water".

Competition History

• Before tournament play began, his original record was 11/2.
• KWE Tournament I: Did not participate.
• KWE Tournament II: Did not participate.

Gift Responses

• Weapon:

My dear amigo, do you not see that this body is a weapon? This wit, honed to a razor edge, the only sword I need? Still, though my fists are deadly, my fist with this in it will be deadlier. Gracias.

• Armor:

If only, amigo, if only one could meatsmith armor to guard the soul from love's misfortunes. That would truly be a great thing. But armoring the stomach from suckerpunches is almost as worthy.

• Food:

This will be, I think, a meager repast for a man of my many appetites. However, I take solace in the fact that it will not harm my figure to indulge in eating it. Thank you, amigo.

• Cocktail:

Ah, amigo, you mistake me. Just because I am a sensitive man does not mean that I drink a sensitive beverage. Just this once, however, I shall drink it to show my gratitude to you. As they say in my home country, "Mejor ser mariposa que muerto."

• Booze:

Aha, the hard stuff. Now this is what I need to get me through a long night playing flamenco music on my guitar and lamenting the loss of my lover. As they say in my country, "Los porteros no saben el nombre de mi cuchillo."

• Beer:

This is not the beer of my country - it is far too full-bodied and dark. But I shall drink it anyway and drown the sorrows of my romantic, tragic existence. Gracias.

• Spleen:

Gracias for the stat boosters, amigo. Though I hardly need them, buff as I am, I am grateful. As they say in my country, "La chaqueta en fuego es un gato sin ojos."

References

• The phrase "no phone, no lights, nor motorcar" is a reference to the ending theme of Gilligan's Island. The phrase was also used in Weird Al Yankovic's song "Amish Paradise".
• Vaso de Agua is a parody of Vega, the mask-wearing, claw-wielding pretty-boy from the English-speaking versions of the Street Fighter games. The name also sounds of Vasco da Gama, an explorer who is said to have started the age of colonization.