Actually Ed the Undying

Actually Ed the Undying is the Spring 2015 special challenge path, introduced on February 15, 2015. This path adds variant rules and restrictions to an ascension run. Its description in The Bureau of Reincarnation reads "Ed the Undying is back -- not that he ever left, really -- and he is super annoyed with a certain adventurer who stole something from him. Recover his/your property (yes, the perspective shift is even more confusing than usual on this one) with ancient curses, powerful spells, mummified servants, and the jackal-headed demons of the Underworld."

Ed is a mysticality class with a suite of new skills. Defeat in combat takes Ed to the Underworld, where he can purchase upgrades and consumables. He uses servants instead of familiars, has no campground access, no access to permed skills, and a limited (but expandable) ability to ingest things.

Restrictions

Items

• You cannot restore HP from most sources (including Pungent Unguent, Chateau Mantegna, Deck's Healing Salve and A Relaxing Hot Tub) or have Doc Galaktik's Curative Nostrum. Trying to do yields (item is consumed, or meat is taken):

  You gain no hit points.

  (Nostrum only:) Hmm. This man's mortal remedies don't seem to do much for your ancient and dessicated husk.

  • Instead, shops in The Underworld sell bandages that act as healing items as well as a passive skill that provides HP regen. However, note that entering The Underworld (either through the portal in Your Tomb or by losing a fight) restores you to full HP.
• You can't use BRICKO monsters. Trying to do yields:

  You're not sure how to play with this new fangled toy. In fact, you even pre-date the ball and the stick.

• You cannot use grimstone masks:

  Ed has no interest in those masks. The stories are all after his time.

Skills

• No access to any skills that you may have permed, including books on Your Mystical Bookshelf.
• You can't use skill books.

  Ed only reads hieroglyphics.

Locations

• Since you cannot join a guild, you do not have access to any zones that require a guild quest to unlock, such as Fernswarthy's or White Castle (Whitey's Grove is available once informed about making wet stew, however).
• Pandamonium proper is inaccessible. Instead The Deep Fat Friars' Gate lets you fight monsters from Pandamonium Slums instead.
  • As a result, you also cannot gain an Organ of Steel.
  • The sparkly post-quest Friars' Gate will initiate a combat when you click on it, even though it does not have (1) in its label.
• An Old Man, and therefore The Sea, is not available:

  That shack you saw on the main map was just a picture of a shack drawn on the ground.

• Clan basements are completely locked out:

  Your clan has a basement, but the only dark, dank hole in the ground you want to visit is your own tomb.

Familiars

• No familiars are available.
  • Instead, the player must hire servants.
• Attempting to use a familiar hatchling gives the following message:

You don't know what to do with that weird little creature.

• Attempting to select a familiar (using the /familiar, /fam, or /goto familiar.php chat commands) gives the following message:

Ed already has more than enough servants.

Divergences

• You begin the run with the expository adventure Actually Ed the Undying (adventure)‎ and receive your weapon, the Staff of Ed.
• Attempting to bring an astral hot dog dinner or astral six-pack during reincarnation yields the following warning:

  Your purchase from the Deli may not be appropriate with this path. (Ed may not have the organs to consume food and booze.) Are you sure that's what you want?

  • This is despite that you can acquire organ space to accommodate both consumables during the run.
• Attempting to bring an astral pet sweater during reincarnation yields the following warning:

  Ed predates familiar companions, do you really want to take that astral pet?

• Attempting to bring an astral shirt during reincarnation yields the following warning:

  Ed predates the invention of shirts, do you really want to take that astral pet?

• Actually Ed the Undying cannot be dropped from the Options menu, due to certain quest changes. Attempting to do so yields the following message:

You can't just stop being Ed.

• You may still abort your run after 11 days and return to Valhalla.
• The gender of "Ed" chosen at Valhalla affects the pronouns that the player is referred to in the quest text. The gender of your past ascension does not carry forward into the Ed run.

Consumption

• You cannot eat food or drink booze without the necessary upgrades and Spleen capacity is reduced to 5.
  • You can't eat any food without buying a Replacement Stomach from The Underworld. Trying to do so yields:

    You don't have the stomach for it. Literally, you don't have a stomach.

    • This message also appears if you try to eat something that is size 6 or larger.
  • The Feast of Boris does not grant additional fullness:

    Today is the Feast of Boris.

    UNFEASTING!

  • You can't drink any booze without buying a Replacement Liver from The Underworld. Trying to do yields:

    You have a zero tolerance policy about alcohol, which is to say that your alcohol tolerance is zero.

  • You can't drink more than usual on St. Sneaky Pete's Day.
  • If you have enabled the "Display Fullness Counter (WARNING: Not funny.)" option, you will also have a Spleen (Toxicity) counter displayed automatically.
  • Upon completing the path, your Spleen capacity will be set to 15, your Stomach capacity will be increased to 15, and your Liver capacity will be increased to 14. Your current Toxicity, Fullness and Drunkenness levels are retained. The Toxicity display (if enabled) is removed from the left pane.
• Without the Replacement Stomach or Replacement Liver upgrades, the restriction is technically that the maximum meter value is 0 for hunger while it is -1 for the drunkenness meter. However, the effect is identical.

Items of the Month

• If you have unlocked lovebug abilities and encounters, Summon Love Mosquito is replaced by Summon Love Scarabs which restores MP instead of HP.
• If you have The Crown of Ed the Undying, you receive it at the start of run in Actually Ed the Undying (adventure), it can be used in hardcore for this path only. Fighting undead has a chance to drop a Ka coin.

Class

Rather than playing any of the traditional 6 classes, you will play as Ed, with entirely different skills.

• Your main stat is Mysticality.
• You will not be accepted into any of the traditional guilds. You will not be able to use a guild to unlock any quests or areas.

  You're not sure you want to mingle with guild commoners.

• In the tavern non-combat you encounter a Pastamancer.
• You receive fuzzy earmuffs for completing the Mt. McLargeHuge Quest (the level 8 quest).
• You receive a Misty Robe for completing Orc Chasm Quest (the level 9 quest).
• You receive a giant discarded plastic fork for completing the Giant Trash Quest (the level 10 quest).
• Unlike the standard six classes and the three Avatars of Boris, Jarlsberg and Sneaky Pete (but exactly like the Zombie Master avatar-class), there is no level 30 trophy for Ed.
• Getting Beaten Up in combat results in a trip to The Underworld, healing you completely and removing negative status effects (except Once-Cursed, Twice-Cursed, and Thrice-Cursed). (Reaching 0 HP outside of combat simply leaves you unable to adventure anywhere until you use healing bandages purchased from Everything Under the World or visit The Underworld manually to heal.) If this happens during combat, you can then return to the fight:
  • Returning the first 2 times is free.
  • Returning more than 2 times to the same monster costs Ka coins; first time 1, and increasing exponentially (2,4,8...), capped at 32.
  • Alternatively, you can skip the fight at a 1 adventure cost to return to your tomb.
  • Most monsters will have the same status they had when you died, but the Clan of cave bars will heal back to full health each time.
  • This resurrection will not occur if you lose during The Tunnel of L.O.V.E. combats.
• Going to the Underworld from your tomb always costs an adventure to return.
  • If you don't have any adventures left, you cannot go to the Underworld (not even to buy spleen items for more adventures!).

Locations

• A Small Pyramid takes you to Your Tomb, which functions as your housing. The Campground is not available.
  • Since you cannot enter the Campground, you cannot use your Garden, Workshed, Telescope, etc.
    • Upon completing the path, your Garden will have grown, untended, for however many days the run took.
  • You can install appliances to Your Kitchen even though you can't see it.
  • You can install a meat maid but you won't benefit from it.
  • You can use your closet by typing "/go closet", or by using the "/closet" and "/uncloset" commands.
• If you get Beaten Up in combat or go into A Portal to the Underworld in Your Tomb, you will be taken to The Underworld.
  • While entering the Portal to the Underworld costs an adventure, it can be done while falling-down drunk.
• Instead of the Magical Mystical Hippy Stone, A Stone Shrine in The Underworld serves the same function.
  • Upon completing the path, if you broke the Stone Shrine, your Hippy Stone will also be broken.
• Desert Beach is accessible from the start and The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert and An Oasis are unlocked from the start.
• The combat zones in The Ancient Buried Pyramid are not available.
  • Upon completing the path, The Upper Chamber becomes available. Crumbling wooden wheels may drop. You can progress down the Pyramid until The Control Room is unlocked. At that point, the game realizes that you've done the Pyramid already, stops dropping crumbling wooden wheels, and does not let you turn the wheel in the Control Room.
  • You can still end up in The Upper Chamber from Teleportitis even in-run.
• The Barrel full of Barrels is available (as of September 20, 2015) (it was unavailable before an update - unclear which one, probably the one on September 08, 2015, or possibly the one on August 25, 2015)
• The Bugbear Pen is available, but as Ed cannot equip any familiars (including Gravy Fairies), The Spooky Gravy Burrow is not available.
• The giant beanstalk on the Nearby Plains is already planted. However, you cannot climb it until you have started the level 10 quest:

  For some reason, there's a giant beanstalk growing in the Plains. Like, really giant -- it goes straight up into the clouds.
  
  It looks climbable, but... why would you do that? You'd just get all tired, and for what? Clouds? Pfft.

• Ed gets the crappy non-choice noncombats in Barrrney's Barrr (the same ones received by Teetotalers et al.).

Quests

• There's no Toot Oriole. The player receives a letter to Ed the Undying instead.
• Some bosses are replaced with an identical counterpart:
  • Boss Bat is replaced with Boss Bat?.
  • The Knob Goblin King is replaced with the New Knob Goblin King.
  • The Bonerdagon is replaced with the Donerbagon.
  • Groar is replaced by a winged yeti, strongly implied to be the player's yeti mount from the Valhalla Invasion event. (Manuel suggests an alternate explanation for players who didn't participate in that event, but the game doesn't check.)
  • The Naughty Sorceress is replaced by %playername the Adventurer.
  • Special boss drops from Monster Aggravation Devices are unchanged.
• Azazel, Ma Belle is unavailable.
• A hulking bridge troll guards The Orc Chasm (and will break the bridge).
• You do not receive a strange leaflet at level 9 (although you can still receive one by visiting the Council after completing the path).
• For the level 11 quest, the Staff of Ed is removed from your inventory and disassembled into its components. You must find the Black Market, obtain a copy of a jerk adventurer's father's diary from the Shore, and track down the guardians as usual. Instead of fighting them, you return the item they were supposed to be guarding.
  • You only need to encounter Dr. Awkward once (and won't be Beaten Up); you don't need Mr. Alarm's help.
  • You cannot put a reassembled blackbird in your terrarium; however if you just paste one it will help you finding the black market anyway.
  • You do not need to adventure in the desert or the oasis. You are unable to adventure in your pyramid.
• The level 13 quest is entirely replaced. Meaning you need not do the preparation, including the Daily Dungeon keys, though you may still adventure there if you want. You must defeat %playername the Adventurer, after which you will be sent to The Secret Council Warehouse to search for the Holy MacGuffin. Returning the MacGuffin (on the altar in your tomb) finishes the path.
  • At that stage you will choose a new class until you ascend.

Avatar

Your avatar is replaced by one of the following (based on how much HP you have):

Skills

You begin with one skill: Mild Curse - combat skill dealing a small amount of spooky damage.

Instead of purchasing skills, you learn them from The Book of the Undying in Your Tomb. You may learn skills from 3 trees: Invocations, Evocations and Curses. Each skill costs one skill point to learn, regardless of rank. You cannot skip ranks within a skill tree. In order to learn a 3rd-rank skill, you must first learn the 1st-rank and 2nd-rank skills from that same tree, and so on.

You begin with 1 skill point, plus 1 point for each normal (softcore) Actually Ed the Undying ascension completed, 2 points for each hardcore Actually Ed the Undying ascension completed, and if talisman of Seshats have been used, 1 more per talisman. You gain 1 additional skill point every level, except on levels divisible by 3; so Levels 2, 4, 5, 7, 8 and so on. Level 14 is the last level that will grant a skill point from level-up.

Rank	Invocations			Evocations			Curses
	Name	Type	Effect	Name	Type	Effect	Name	Type	Effect
1	Prayer of Seshat	Buff 5 MP	+3 Mysticality Stats Per Fight	Fist of the Mummy	Combat 5 MP	Physical attack spell (capped at 50)	Curse of the Marshmallow	Combat 2 MP	Delevels by ~15, once/fight
2	Wisdom of Thoth	Buff 5 MP	Mysticality +10 Mysticality +50%	Howl of the Jackal	Combat 10 MP	Spooky attack spell (capped at 100)	Curse of Indecision	Combat 5 MP	Stuns opponent (3 turns)
3	Power of Heka	Buff 10 MP	Spell Damage +20 +10% Chance of Spell Critical Hit Spell Damage +50%	Roar of the Lion	Combat 15 MP	Powerful Hot attack spell (uncapped)	Curse of Yuck	Combat 5 MP	Damages opponent over time
4	Hide of Sobek	Buff 10MP	Damage Absorption +50 Damage Reduction 5 Slight Resistance to All Elements	Storm of the Scarab	Combat 8MP	All-elements attack spell	Curse of Heredity	Combat 10 MP	Poisons and delevels an enemy and all future enemies of that phylum
5	Blessing of Serqet	Buff 15MP	+20 Monster Level	Purr of the Feline	Buff 10 MP	+5 to Servant level	Curse of Fortune	Combat 1 Ka coin	Gain more meat from the monster (+200% ?)
6	Shelter of Shed	Buff 15 MP	Lowers combat rate by 20%	Lash of the Cobra	Combat 12 MP	Forced pickpocket with some physical damage, up to 30x/day	Curse of Vacation	Combat 30 MP	Banish (non-freely) a monster for the rest of the day, up to 5x/day
7	Bounty of Renenutet	Buff 20 MP	+50% Item Drops from Monsters	Wrath of Ra	Combat 40 MP	100-turn-cooldown Yellow Ray	Curse of Stench	Combat 35 MP	Weaker pseudo-Olfaction (no queue rejection)

Upon completing the path, all of your Invocation effects are removed (but regular effects are retained), and all Ed-specific skills are lost, except Mild Curse, which can be made permanent.

Ka coins

Ka coins are used as currency in The Underworld, allowing you to buy spare body parts, spleen/HP/MP consumables, as well as some other special items from Everything Under the World (such as talismans of Renenutet).

Ed's jackal demons harvest the souls of his enemies, and will pay him Ka coin depending on the phylum of the monster (guaranteed drop):

• 2 coins from Dudes, Hippies, Hobos and Pirates
• 1 coin from Beasts, Bugs, Elves, Fish, Goblins, Humanoids, Mer-Kin, Orcs, Penguins, and Elementals
• You receive no coins from Constellations, Constructs, Demons, Horrors, Plants, Slimes, Undead and Weird
• If your active Servant is a Priest at or above Level 14, all monsters that drop Ka will grant 1 additional coin. With The Crown of Ed the Undying equipped, there's a small chance of gaining 1 coin when fighting an Undead monster.

Body Upgrades

Purchased at The Underworld Body Shop with Ka coins. The full set of upgrades costs a total of 365 Ka. Note that any skills requiring a prerequisite will stack with the prerequisite. (This means you can gain a total of 6 extra spleens for 30 extra spleen capacity, 2 sets of legs for +100% combat initiative, and 3 elemental wards for a total of 6 levels of elemental resistance.)

Name	Price	Effect	Prerequisite
Replacement Stomach	30	+5 stomach capacity
Replacement Liver	30	+5 liver capacity
Extra Spleen	5	+5 spleen capacity
Another Extra Spleen	10	+5 spleen capacity	Extra Spleen
Yet Another Extra Spleen	15	+5 spleen capacity	Another Extra Spleen
Still Another Extra Spleen	20	+5 spleen capacity	Yet Another Extra Spleen
Just One More Extra Spleen	25	+5 spleen capacity	Still Another Extra Spleen
Okay Seriously, This is the Last Spleen	30	+5 spleen capacity	Just One More Extra Spleen
Upgraded Legs	10	+50% Combat Initiative
More Legs	20	+50% Combat Initiative	Upgraded Legs
Upgraded Arms	20	+50% Muscle
Upgraded Spine	20	+50% Moxie
Tougher Skin	10	+100 Damage Absorption
Armor Plating	10	+10 Damage Reduction
Bone Spikes	20	+10 physical damage and injures attackers
Arm Blade	20	+5 physical damage and +20% critical hit chance
Healing Scarabs	10	2-4 HP regeneration per adventure
Elemental Wards	10	+1 resistance to all elements
More Elemental Wards	20	+2 resistance to all elements	Elemental Wards
Even More Elemental Wards	30	+3 resistance to all elements	More Elemental Wards

Servants

At level 3 and every 3 levels afterwards until level 15, you may release a servant from The Servants' Quarters.

Servants can only gain experience from combats (1 exp per fight) or from imbuements (100 exp per imbuement). A servant's base level is equivalent to the square root of their experience or (level = experience^1/2). Servants are not familiars, and are not effected by items that grant bonus familiar weight or extra experience.

Servants gain new abilities at levels 7 (49 exp) and 14 (196 exp), and teach you something at level 21 (441 exp).

Servants may be strengthened by Purr of the Feline, which increases their effective level by 5. With Purr of the Feline Servants can use their higher abilities at a lower level, requiring level 2 (4 exp) for their second ability, and level 9 (81 exp) to use their third ability. However Purr of the Feline will not speed up the final bonus, as familiars will not teach you their skill until they actually reach level 21.

Ed will begin to accumulate servant imbuements once he has enough skill points to learn all the spells in the Tome of the Dead. Ed will gain imbuements at the same rate as skill points, earning one every level non-divisible by 3, capped at a total of 10.

Only one servant may be active at a time. Inactive servants retain their levels while "Freed, but Lazy".

Servant	Level 1 ability	Level 7 ability	Level 14 ability	Level 21 ability (Servant Gift)
Cat	Gives unpleasant gifts	Helps find items	Lowers enemy stats	Gift of the Cat +25% Item Drops from Monsters
Belly-Dancer	Lowers enemy stats	Restores MP	Picks pockets	Gift of the Dancer Regenerate 4-8 MP per Adventure
Maid	Helps find meat	Attacks enemies (broken)	Prevents enemy attacks	Gift of the Maid +50% Meat from Monsters
Bodyguard	Prevents enemy attacks	Attacks enemies	Attacks enemies even when guarding	Gift of the Bodyguard Damage Absorption +200
Scribe	Improves stat gains	Improves spell crit	Improves spell damage	Gift of the Scribe +5 Mysticality Stats Per Fight
Priest	Attacks undead enemies	Improves evocation spells	Improves Ka drops	Gift of the Priest Spell Damage +40
Assassin	Attacks enemies	Lowers enemy stats	Staggers enemies	Gift of the Assassin Weapon Damage +10 +30% chance of Critical Hit

Text

Campground

• This seems to be where all the local adventurers live. Unfortunately, there's way too many campsites for you to be able to find <playername>'s in any reasonable amount of time. Which is a pity, because you'd really love to take a dump on his bed.
  It's probably just as well. It's been so long since you did that, you're not even sure you remember how.
  Perhaps you want to visit your pyramid.

Council Text

See The Council of Loathing/Actually Ed the Undying.

Strategy

See Actually Ed the Undying/Strategy for tips & strategies.

Rewards

• In your first run as Actually Ed the Undying, opening the letter to Ed the Undying unlocks a new class tattoo. There is also an additional tattoo available upon completion of a hardcore run as an Actually Ed the Undying.
• Mild Curse is permable for use in non-Ed ascensions.
• Finishing an Actually Ed the Undying ascension gives you a thwaitgold scarab beetle statuette.
• Finishing an Ed ascension while it was the current challenge path (February 15, 2015 to May 14, 2015) gave you a still-beating spleen.
• You do not get any stainless steel, polyester, or porcelain equipment.

Trivia

• The path name is a play on the previous yearly "Avatar of" paths, as this time, you play not as an avatar, but actually the specific character referenced.

History

• Ed was immune to drunken stupor for the first 24 hours (roughly) of the path.
• Servants did not teach anything at Level 21 until a fix in February 19, 2015.
• Ed's starting skill, Mild Curse, was made permable on March 11, 2015.
• Servant imbuements were not a thing before February 23, 2015.
• While the path was in-season, dying to an ultra-rare would not give a ribbon for the first death, but would award one on all subsequent deaths. This unintended behavior has been fixed since then.
• Prior to November 5th, 2018, Actually Ed the Undying could be dropped, presumably after the same 3 days as previous Avatar paths. This was changed due to conflicts with the new Macguffin quest being impossible to complete if the path is dropped at the wrong time.
  • Actually Ed the Undying is, in fact, the only challenge path that cannot be dropped.

Ascension Paths
Boozetafarian	Teetotaler	Oxygenarian
Special Challenge Paths
Spring Summer Fall Winter 2011 None Bees Hate You Way of the Surprising Fist Trendy 2012 Avatar of Boris Bugbear Invasion Zombie Slayer Class Act 2013 Avatar of Jarlsberg BIG! KOLHS Class Act II: A Class For Pigs 2014 Avatar of Sneaky Pete Slow and Steady Heavy Rains Picky 2015 Actually Ed the Undying One Crazy Random Summer Community Service None 2016 Avatar of West of Loathing The Source Nuclear Autumn None 2017 Gelatinous Noob License to Adventure Live. Ascend. Repeat. None 2018 Pocket Familiars G-Lover Disguises Delimit None 2019 Dark Gyffte Two Crazy Random Summer Kingdom of Exploathing None 2020 Path of the Plumber Low Key Summer Grey Goo None 2021 You, Robot Quantum Terrarium Wildfire None 2022 Grey You Journeyman Fall of the Dinosaurs None 2023 Avatar of Shadows Over Loathing Legacy of Loathing A Shrunken Adventurer am I None 2024 WereProfessor 11 Things I Hate About U Avant Guard None 2025 Z is for Zootomist Hat Trick 11,037 Leagues Under the Sea None