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| Monster Manuel entries are accessed from your quest log if you have the [[Monster Manuel]]. Each entry gives basic monster stats, as well as informative factoids related to the monster.
| | {{MonsterManuelEntryNav}} |
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| Monsters for which you have acquired 1 factoid are casually researched; 2 factoids are thoroughly researched, and with 3 factoids you have exhaustively researched a given monster.
| | Monster Manuel entries are accessed from your [[Quest Log]] if you have the [[Monster Manuel]]. Each entry gives basic monster stats, as well as informative factoids related to the monster. |
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| ==A==
| | If you have not collected any factoids, the Monster Manual tab in your Quest Log will display: |
| {{ManuelEntry|A.M.C. gremlin|*Some researchers believe the AMC Gremlin to be evidence that gremlins are a degenerate offshoot of the Crimbo Elf, due to their mechanical skills. However, their research equipment usually falls apart before they get a chance to publish.|defense=153}}
| | <center>Manuel says, "You haven't given me any of these specimens to study yet, amigo. Get out there and explore, okay?"</center> |
| {{ManuelEntry|alien hamsterpus|*The alien hamsterpus can run faster than a human being, but fortunately it only does so on a giant exercise wheel.
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| *You can neutralize an alien hamsterpus by spiking its giant water bottle.|attack=0|defense=0|hp=0}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Alphabet Giant|*You may be wondering where the Alphabet Giant got those letters. In fact, he used to work at a giant alphabet soup factory, but he got fired for stealing from the supply cupboard.
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| *The Alphabet Giant tried to get a job on an educational childrens' program, but kept freaking out and attacking the puppets.
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| *The alphabet giant's favorite letters are F and U.|defense=130}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|ambulatory pirate|*When he sailed the eleven seas, the ambulatory pirate were just a regular ol' smarmy pirate, savvy?
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| *Ye can frighten an ambulatory pirate while he's sleeping by shouting "Hoist up the mizzenmast, ye dog!"|attack=0|defense=0|hp=0}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|anglerbush|*The anglerbush's bait is made of plant matter that is exactly like meat in appearance and texture. As such, they were almost hunted to extinction by vegans.
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| *The meat stack that the anglerbush sometimes drops isn't its bait flower; it's just an extra meat stack the bush had lying around.
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| |defense=8}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|angry bugbear|*Bugbears have notoriously short tempers, so even a stubbed toe will turn them from normal to angry.
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| *Bugbears' hearing is abnormally weak for a creature with such large ears. It's probably all the rock concerts they went to as teenagers.
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| *Bugbears have no noses and smell terribly. And also terrible.|defense=14}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Angry Space Marine|*Don't be too hard on the Angry Space Marine. He's been trained and conditioned to kill everything he sees. Imagine how hard it is for him when he has to go to the laundromat.|attack=50|defense=50|hp=65}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|annoying spooky gravy fairy|*The annoying spooky gravy fairy really just wants to be friends and joke around, but it's socially awkward and gets nervous.
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| *The annoying spooky gravy fairy's pitchfork can be used by normal-sized people to eat oysters, or by oysters to fend off people trying to eat them.
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| *I mean, what chance does the annoying spooky gravy fairy have, with a name like that? If your name was Bob the Douchebag, would you fight fate?|defense=18}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Astronomer|*The astronomers of old had a list of constellation names that they could never find constellations to match. Thus the Kingdom has no "Meat Missile" constellation.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Axe Wound (monster)|*There is a dormant cult in Loathing that worships the Cosmic Axe that made the axe-wound, and eagerly anticipates the Time of the Felling when the Axe will return.
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| *The Cosmic Axe Cult says "Timber!" instead of "Amen."
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| *The Cosmic Axe Cult wears sequin-spangled flannel shirts and denim pants. No one makes fun of them, though, because they also carry giant bedazzled, wicked-sharp axes.}}
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| ==B==
| | If you have collected factoids, the Monster Manual tab in your Quest Log will display: |
| {{ManuelEntry|bar|*The best way to fight a bar is to trip it, thereby lowering it.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Baron von Ratsworth|*Baron von Ratsworth made his fortune trading in steel futures, but nowadays he's mostly into real estate.|attack=20|defense=18|hp=25}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|batwinged gremlin|*Gremlins delight in disassembling things, such as vehicles, computers, factory machinery, and adventurers.
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| *The rule about never feeding a gremlin after midnight is complicated by the fact that it's always after the previous midnight, so when can you start feeding them again? And what about time zones? Man it's like it was *designed* for someone to screw it up.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|batwinged gremlin (quest)|Batwinged gremlins are sometimes attacked by other tiny gremlins who sit on their wings and try to sabotage their flight.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|beanbat|*It takes approximately 144,000 beanbats to stuff a single beanbatbag chair.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Beaver|*Beavers aren't actually very eager, and tend to whine and bitch incessantly while they're building their dams.
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| *Beavers use their wide, flat tails to press sandwiches, to make them more flavorful.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|beefy bodyguard bat|*Each beefy bodyguard bat can lift three times his body weight, provided he has a water bottle and a good spotter.
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| *The beefy bodyguard bat's wings aren't actually lettuce leaves. They're just really bulky regular ol' wings.
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| *You may think the beefy bodyguard bat is just a dumb slab of muscle, but he actually reads poetry and writes short stories in his spare time.|attack=25|defense=22}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|best-selling novelist|*It's said that one of the worst sentences the best-selling novelist ever wrote was "The famous man looked at the red cup." In fact, he never used this line, but he has written much, much worse.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Bettie Barulio|*Bettie's old suitors, so many and varied,<br />filled up their own cemetery when buried.
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| *Bettie's removal to realms immaterial<br />was due to a full set of diseases (venereal).|attack=0|defense=0|hp=0}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|black adder|*Black adders usually live in rowan trees.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Black Crayon Shambling Monstrosity|*The Shambling Monstrosity is not a god or an alien, per se; it's a traveler from another dimension. Remember that differentiator as your sanity starts to slip.
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| *Staring at a Shambling Monstrosity can make you go insane. Staring at one through a welder's helmet will just get you really high for a couple of hours.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Black Knight|*The black knight didn't seem racist at first, but now it kinda does.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|black widow|*Black widow bites are rarely fatal if you receive immediate medical treatment. Black Widow Bites are also a terribly marketed type of candy.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|blackberry bush|*A blackberry stalk makes a powerful weapon, if you still have any arms left after getting it away from the bush.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Blooper|*When surprised, the Blooper releases a cloud of black pixels that dissolve before you can grab them. It's pretty frustrating.
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| *The Blooper's natural predator is the Mustachioed Plumber, which was hunted to nigh extinction by outraged turtle tamers.
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| *The Blooper prefers Radiohead's earlier catalog, when they still knew how to rock, man.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|blur|*The blur has only two vices: coffee and TV.
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| *Scientists with too much time on their hands have concluded that the blur is most likely completely nude.
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| *The blur's vision-occluding field can cause one to become mercurial and leaden. If you feel heavy metal while fighting the blur, take a break.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|boaraffe|*The boaraffe has no natural predators, except for the extra-terrestrial kind.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Bob Racecar|*Bob Racecar has an old hound dog named Otis. It knows how to sit.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|booty crab|*Booty crabs can tangle their pincers in your hair, so shaving is a good way to get rid of them.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Boss Bat|*the boss bat has weak eyesight, but he can listen to hear where you are.|attack=33|defense=29}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Bowling Cricket|*Did you know that a grasshopper and a cricket are two completely different insects? Neither did the guy who created this monster!}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Box (monster)|*WHAT'S IN THE BOX? WHAT'S IN THE BOOOOOOX? Well, the vast vacuum of space, a few stars, and little else.
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| *The Crackpot Mystic believes this constellation is a giant 3-dimensional pixel.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|BRICKO bat (monster)|*One easy way to defeat a BRICKO bat is to take its wings and put them on the bottom close together, turning it into a capital "i."}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|BRICKO elephant (monster)|*The standard BRICKO elephant is an "African" elephant, having larger ears and more wrinkled skin (somehow) than its Asian counterpart.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|BRICKO octopus (monster)|*BRICKO was invented by a parent who felt he wasn't stepping on nearly enough tiny pointy things when he walked around the house barefoot.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|BRICKO ooze (monster)|*The plural of BRICKO is BRICKO. There's no such thing as "a bunch of BRICKOs."}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|BRICKO python (monster)|*Though they can squeeze stuff until the cows come home (or squeeze cows until the farmer comes home), pythons are terrible at lifting weights.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|BRICKO turtle (monster)|*BRICKOs are manufactured with the strictest quality control, and contain only trace amounts of lead, rodent parts, and industrial pesticides.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Brock "Rocky" Flox|*Perhaps "Rocky" Flox is just misunderstood,<br />Or maybe he's just a big jerk who's no good.|attack=0|defense=0|hp=0}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Bronze Chef|*The Bronze Chef has no heart, but it does have a molybdenum tongue for tasting.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|bugbear-in-the-box|*The inside of the bugbear-in-a-box's box is moist, clammy, and pulsating. Don't stick your hand in there, is all I'm saying.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|bugged bugbear|*'''Warning''': mysql_fetch_assoc(): supplied argument is not a valid MySQL result resource in '''/home/jick/htdocs/factoid_retrieval.php''' on line '''717'''
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| *'''Warning''': mysql_fetch_assoc(): supplied argument is not a valid MySQL result resource in '''/home/jick/htdocs/factoid_retrieval.php''' on line '''718'''}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Bullet Bill|*Bullet Bills fly so slowly that they would take a full minute to go through an average person. A very unpleasant minute.
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| *Bullet Bills are all left-handed.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|bunch of drunken rats|*The metal beer keg was invented as a defense against drunken tavern rats, who kept chewing through the old wooden barrels.
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| *Some tavern owners have tried to get rid of drunken rat infestations by setting out shots of alcohol laced with poison, also called "Mickeys".}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Bush|*Astronomers have named the three berry stars in the constellation: the top left one's Chuck, the top right is Halle, and the bottom one is Hannabar.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Buzzy Beetle|*The Buzzy Beetle's shell is the third hardest thing in the Kingdom. Only diamonds and Gnollish Algebra are harder.
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| *The Buzzy Beetle's shell is coated with secreted oil on the bottom, so it goes far and fast when kicked. Also, it's gross if you try to pick it up.}}
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| ==C==
| | '''Monster Manuel'''<br /> |
| {{ManuelEntry|chalkdust wraith|*Chalkdust wraiths are generally the spirits of dead schoolteachers, or children who asphyxiated while cleaning the blackboard erasers. Billiards chalk wraiths are incredibly rare.}}
| | You have casually researched <u>''x'' creature<s></u>.<br /> |
| {{ManuelEntry|claw-foot bathtub|*There's a ring around the inside of the claw-foot bathtub, and you don't want to know what caused it.}}
| | You have thoroughly researched <u>''y'' creature<s></u>.<br /> |
| {{ManuelEntry|clod hopper|*Clod hoppers are considerably less mentally proficient than their distant relatives, the dennis hoppers.
| | You have exhaustively researched <u>''z'' creature<s></u>.<br /> |
| *Clod hoppers are made out of magically-animated rocks, but try not to get too sedimental about that.
| | <u>View all creatures.</u> |
| *If you break open a clod hopper, they're full of beautiful multi-faceted crystals. But they don't take kindly to people trying to verify that fact.|attack=100|defense=90|hp=150}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|completely different spider|*The completely different spider parts its hair on the other side and has a moustache, so he's definitely not that other spider.
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| *Spiders are nature's practical jokers. It's not on accident they always spin their webs right where you'll walk through them; they enjoy the goofy dance you do.}}
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| ==D==
| | Click on an underlined portion to filter just creatures in at that level of research. The last line only shows up when you have filtered creatures. |
| {{ManuelEntry|demonic icebox|*This fridge has magnetic poetry tiles on it with phrases like "eternal suffering" and "disemboweled penitent."}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Demon of New Wave|*The Demon of New Wave doesn't drink and doesn't smoke. No one knows what he does do.|attack=200}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|drunken 7-foot dwarf|*7-foot dwarves like their whiskey extra-salty -- every bottle is made with seven grams of sea-salt.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|drunken rat|*Reeking of booze actually improves the drunken rat's usual smell.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|drunken rat king|*Surprisingly, these rats are usually sober when they first get stuck together.
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| *Many people believe that the center of a tangle of rat tails contains a radioactive pellet, but they are wrong -- it usually contains a golf ball.
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| *Tickling the tangle of tails in the center of a rat king is a good way to trick the rats into biting one another instead of you. Rats are stupid.}}
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| ==E== | | ==Researching Monsters== |
| {{ManuelEntry|evil ex-girlfriend|*Spoons Liu is currently studying to become an Orthodox Jew, so she can fire energy beams from her eyes.|attack=0|defense=0|hp=0}}
| | The first factoid is always obtained the first time you defeat a normal enemy. Subsequent factoids take an increasing number of wins to obtain. Once-per-ascension monsters and bosses have a flag that causes them to always give a factoid when defeated. |
| | *Creatures with 1 factoid are casually researched. |
| | *Creatures with 2 factoids are thoroughly researched. |
| | *Creatures with 3 factoids are exhaustively researched a given monster. |
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| ==F== | | ==Statistics== |
| {{ManuelEntry|Father McGruber|*Father McGruber's arsenal includes a razor-sharp throwing crucifix, a rosary garrote, and other blasphemous and not at all funny accouterments.|attack=31|defense=30|hp=40}}
| | If you have at least casually researched a monster, the following statistics are collected in the Manuel and are revealed in all subsequent fights against that monster: |
| {{ManuelEntry|Felonia, Queen of the Spooky Gravy Fairies|*Queen Felonia has a 2nd-dan black belt in Slashing Your Face With a Broken Bottle-Fu.}}
| | *[[Monsters|Monster Attack]] |
| {{ManuelEntry|fiendish can of asparagus|*Spears are called 'spears' because of their similarity to asparagus spears. The fact that they were invented by Alfred Spear is a coincidence.
| | *Monster Defense |
| *Unicorns are nearly as attracted to people whose pee smells like asparagus as they are to virgins.}} | | *[[HP]] |
| {{ManuelEntry|fluffy bunny|*Rabbit meat is a little gamey, but good with peppercorns and a red wine.
| | *[[Monster Types|Monster Type/Phylum]] (Tooltip displays name.) |
| *It is always rabbit season ''and'' duck season in the Kingdom of Loathing. | | *[[Elements|Elemental Alignment]] (Tooltip displays elemental weaknesses.) |
| *Fluffy bunnies have a mean streak a mile wide and a furlong deep.|defense=0}} | | *[[Combat Initiative]] (Tooltip displays exact value.) |
| {{ManuelEntry|four-shadowed mime|*Little is known of the four-shadowed mimes. Are they mute? Or do they choose not to speak? But everyone agrees they're hella creepy.
| | Attack, defense and HP accurately display their current values in combat, including changes caused by altered [[Monster Level]] and [[Deleveling]]. Outside combat, Manuel entries display base stat values, while the stats of [[Special Monsters]] appear as either zeroes or question marks. |
| *Four-shadowed mimes can only injure you once you recognize the charade they're performing. So you could avoid their attacks by closing your eyes, if that wasn't a terrifying proposition. | |
| *The best way to trap a four-shadowed mime is in an imaginary box. So, if you have some of those lying around, you're golden.|attack=0|defense=0|hp=0}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Furry Giant|*Some think it's cruel to mock people for their lifestyle choices. But scientists agree that if you can be a human who's secretly a mongoose on the inside, you can be secretly a mongoose with a sense of humor, too.
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| *The furry lifestyle is not all about deviant sex acts and pornography. No, seriously.
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| *Some furries with multiple personality disorders are secretly entire zoos.|defense=121}}
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| ==G== | | ==Manuel Score== |
| {{ManuelEntry|ghost|*These pesky creatures are actually the ghosts of stomped-on Goombas, which explains why there's always so many of them. Why, you're probably partially at fault yourself!
| | In the spirit of the [[Collector's Score]], the Manuel Score is the percentage of total factoids you have collected. For this purpose the figures reported at the top of the Manuel Pages are used. |
| *These ghosts don't drop red pixels because the red pixels are used for the fire, and burn off before they can be collected.
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| *Don't forget to whip the candles! The little flames are actually ghost eggs!}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Goth Giant|*The Goth Giant's favorite band is She Stubbed My Soul.
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| *Although when he's particularly depressed, only the icy synths of Sanguinatus Luciferi will do.
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| *Ironically, Goth Giants tend to avoid going outside in the rain, since it makes their mascara run.|defense=117}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|The Guy Made Of Bees|*The honey made by the Guy made of Bees is a potent hallucinogen.}}
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| ==H==
| | There are currently a total of 2184 monsters with factoids which can be collected. This gives the maximum number of factoids as 6552. This figure includes monsters counted more than once by the game. It does not count the unobtainable monsters listed below. It also does not count the [[Drunksgiving]] monsters, which, although they theoretically could return to the game, will not do so at the earliest until 2052. It does count no longer obtainable factoids, such as the fifth ancient protector spirits and the topiary golem. |
| ==I==
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| ==J==
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| ==K==
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| {{ManuelEntry|Knob Goblin Assistant Chef|*Knob Goblin assistant chefs enjoy classic rock in general, but hate Jethro Tull.
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| *If you, like a Knob Goblin assistant chef, are always on the lookout for ways to save money in the kitchen, do what they do -- replace half of the flour in your recipes with dirt.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Knob Goblin Barbecue Team|*Knob goblins aren't really very good at grilling, and let their magically-animated grills do most of the work. They're really only there to poke the grill with the tongs once in a while, to make sure it doesn't eat the sausages itself.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Knob Goblin Elite Guard|*The Elite Guard is chosen from the best of the cream of the barrel of regular guards. They get extra pay and one additional pitchfork of hay to sleep on.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Knott Yeti|*The Knott Yeti's growls and snarls are a fairly advanced form of communication. More advanced than Frat Orcs, anyway.
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| *Knott Yeti's teeth are serrated for ripping and tearing, and ribbed for her pleasure.
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| *The only exports from the land of Knott are Yetis, Slandings, and berries from their many berry farms.}}
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| ==L==
| | This means, for example, that if you have casually researched 44 monsters, thoroughly researched 58 and exhaustively researched 782, you have collected 2506 factoids for a score of 38.25%. |
| ==M==
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| {{ManuelEntry|malevolent hair clog|*If you think the hair clogs in Spookyraven Manor are bad, you should see the ones in the Castle In The Clouds. All those giant beards!
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| *The best way to get rid of malevolent hair clogs is a bottle of "Liquid Exorcist", but most clerics will warn you that it's bad for your plumbing.|defense=81}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|mean drunk duck|*It only takes 6 ounces of beer to get a duck drunk. Because of this, scientists have speculated they're distant relatives of sorority girls.
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| *Birds need gravity to help them swallow, so if you're going to beer bong a duck, make sure you're on earth or an earth-like planet.|defense=157|hp=190}}
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| ==N== | | ==Unobtainable factoids== |
| {{ManuelEntry|Naughty Sorceress|*In her teenage years, the Naughty Sorceress was on track to become a good sorceress, until some idiot adventurer interrupted her Ethics of Magic class.|attack=190|defense=171|hp=400|image=Sorcform1.gif}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Naughty Sorceress (2)|*For some reason, the Sorceress's true form is always accompanied by a choir chanting in Latin over a techno beat. No one's sure why.|attack=205|defense=184|hp=600|image=Sorcblob.gif}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Norville Rogers|*Norville believes in only two things: cowardice and sandwiches.|attack=10|defense=9|hp=15}}
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| ==O== | | ===No factoids=== |
| {{ManuelEntry|off-duty Knob Goblin Elite Guard|*Most Knob Goblins have terrible peanut allergies, which partly explains why they eat so many sausages.|defense=22}}
| | There are some monsters whose entries are confirmed to have no factoids: |
| {{ManuelEntry|overdone flame-broiled meat blob|*Seriously, guys. Medium rare at the very most. If you don't have that pink center, you're just eating charcoal.|defense=1}}
| | *all [[Ultra Rares|Ultra Rare]] monsters |
| | *[[All-Hallow's Steve]] |
| | *[[Blofeld]] (the real one) |
| | *[[Dolph Bossin, the Boss Dolphin]] |
| | *[[Caveman Dan]] |
| | *[[Chef Boy, R&D]] |
| | *[[Crys-Rock]] |
| | *[[Frank "Skipper" Dan, the Accordion Lord]] |
| | *[[giant pumpkin-head]] |
| | *[[Infernal Officer]] |
| | *[[large-headed werewolf]] |
| | *[[oddly-proportioned ghost]] |
| | *[[snakefire in the grassfire]] |
| | *[[space beast matriarch]] |
| | *[[spirit alarm clock]] |
| | *[[The Krampus]] |
| | *[[The Sagittarian]] |
| | *[[The Silent Nightmare]] |
| | *[[The Thing in the Basement]] |
| | *[[The Whole Kingdom]] (formerly had factoids from the KoLumbus auction, but they were removed when unintended tricks to defeat it were discovered, to prevent completionists from feeling compelled to repeat the stunt) |
| | *[[Your Brain]] (Formerly had factoids until they were removed about 13 hours after rollover) |
| | *[[wild seahorse]] (formerly had factoids from the KoLumbus auction, but they were removed) |
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| ==P== | | ===Unkillable=== |
| {{ManuelEntry|Peacannon|*The peacannon's primitive eyes are capable of discerning human from zombie, but incapable of differentiating teal from seafoam.|attack=16|defense=15|hp=22}}
| | Some monsters are unkillable; however, thanks to a [http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com/vb/showpost.php?p=4324998&postcount=615 Kolumbus auction], their factoids are available on the wiki. These are: |
| {{ManuelEntry|pooltergeist|*British pooltergeists, also known as 'billiardolons', are notable for having larger (though not as many) balls, and no pockets.
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| *Be careful when fighting very old pooltergeists, as ivory balls tend to also be haunted by the ghosts of elephants, and the early synthetic balls were made of celluloid, which occasionally exploded.|defense=18}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|pop-and-lock raver|*The raver's baggy pants frequently contain other, smaller ravers, whose giant pants pockets contain even smaller ravers.
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| *The record for nested ravers (ravers contained in the baggy pants pockets of other ravers) is 23, starting with a Rave Giant and ending with a flaming gravy fairy.
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| *Glowsticks sometimes contain a phosphorescent chemical mix, but the cheaper ones are just ground-up fireflies.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|possessed can of tomatoes|*It's just the can that's possessed, not the contents. So once you get the tomatoes out you can still make spaghetti sauce with them. Unless you get one of the rare cases where the whole shebang's gone evil.
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| *Despite what the can tells you, your mother is probably not doing anything untoward in Hey Deze, if she's there at all.|defense=0}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|possessed silverware drawer|*The possessed silverware drawer has a full set of steak knives in it, and also one of those things that's maybe a foil cutter for wine, but you never drink wine, so where did that thing come from? Maybe it's a paring knife.|defense=3}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Possibility Giant|*Little is known about the Possibility Giant, as his nature is constantly changing. Therefore, the other two factoids will be about cats instead.
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| *Cats can survive falls of up to at least 32 stories. Some speculate cats have a non-fatal terminal velocity, but they can't get any grants to drop a cat out of the upper ionosphere.
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| *A cat's barbed tongue helps it to groom itself and to drink water. And, y'know, to give you a rash at 3 a.m. when it won't stop licking your damn arm, and you've already fed it and petted it but it won't GO AWAY.|defense=117}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Procrastination Giant|*A procrastination giant was elected to the Council of Loathing in 1548, on the theory that he probably wouldn't be any worse than the other councillors. He didn't bother to show up for work, which many take as confirmation of the theory.
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| *A recent poll of favorite hobbies among procrastination giants was inconclusive, because none of them returned the forms.
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| *(The third entry for this monster has not been written yet. We'll get around to it eventually. -Ed.)|defense=112}}
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| ==Q==
| | *[[Best Game Ever]] |
| ==R==
| | *[[cdm's test monster]] |
| {{ManuelEntry|random scenester|*The random scenester is 35 years old, but looks younger with his ironic mullet.|attack=0|defense=0|hp=0}}
| | *[[rock snake]] |
| {{ManuelEntry|Raver Giant|*Raver giant music doesn't have much bass, compared to that of regular-size ravers. They find that the loud pounding created by their dancing is quite sufficient.
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| *The raver giant's pacifier is so large, it could pacify more than a hundred normal-size babies at once! Er, if that's how pacifiers worked.
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| *If the raver giant had one of those candy necklaces, it would be able to feed a family of four for at least six months! Of course, they'd probably all get diabetes.|defense=126}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Rene C. Corman|*"Rene C. Corman" is an anagram of "Mare Concern".|attack=222|defense=199|hp=1000}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|rotund duck|*The rotund duck has a genetic condition, okay?
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| *The rotund duck's so fat it can't even fit into its little sailor hat and jacket anymore.|defense=157|hp=195}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|rushing bum|*Don't feel bad about beating up rushing bums; they all choose to be homeless and if they'd only work a little harder, they'd be millionaires!|defense=0}}
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| ==S== | | ===No longer available=== |
| {{ManuelEntry|Scott the Miner|*Never dig straight down. Seriously, just don't. Don't do it.|attack=23|defense=22|hp=30}}
| | Some monsters can no longer be encountered and are not copyable, but players who have encountered them retain factoids of these monsters: |
| {{ManuelEntry|skeleton with a mop|*This skeleton's favorite type of beer is stout, which just compounds his tragedy.|defense=7}}
| | *[[ancient protector spirit]] ([[obsidian dagger]] version) |
| {{ManuelEntry|Snow Queen|*The Snow Queen is from a country called Rhye, which is bound by seven seas.
| | *[[topiary golem]] |
| *Don't blame the Snow Queen for being so aggro. After all, she's Under Pressure.
| | *All monsters from [[Nemesis Cave]] |
| *I mean, given her druthers, she'd just ride her bicycle where she likes.|defense=105}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Spirit of New Wave (The Nemesis' Lair)|*The Spirit of New Rave believes in PLUR: Pain, Lacerations, Ulcerating Sores, and Respect.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Spirit of New Wave (Volcanic Cave)|*Never ask the Spirit to 'pon de replay if you want to keep your internal organs internal.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|spooky gravy fairy ninja|*Spooky Gravy Fairy Ninja chopsticks are so small, you can use them as toothpicks!|defense=58}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|spooky gravy fairy warlock|*Gravy fairy warlocks can turn cats into teacups, and teacups into mice, and mice into cats.|defense=54}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|spooky mummy|*Mummies have had their brains pulled out of their noses with a sharp pointed stick. That explains why they're not the peppiest or smartest of monsters.
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| *Mummies have their internal organs taken out and stored in jars, then their abdominal cavity stuffed with flowers. That explains why they're not in the best of moods.|defense=3}} | |
| {{ManuelEntry|spooky vampire|*The spooky vampire does not sparkle. When exposed to sunlight, he has the decency to self-combust.|defense=3}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|Sub-Assistant Knob Mad Scientist|*Sub-Assistant Mad Scientists are not permitted to titrate without prior permission and close supervision.|defense=1}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|swarm of Knob lice|*The singular form of "lice" is "louse," and the singular form of "mice" is "mouse." But the singular form of "dice" is not "douse." HOW IS THAT JUSTICE?|defense=22}}
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| ==T==
| | Some monsters no longer appear normally, but can still be encountered in other ways: |
| {{ManuelEntry|toilet papergeist|*The toilet papergeist is one-play, as Lord Spookyraven was a cheapskate. C'mon, guys. Two ply at the minimum.
| | *Copying from [[A Fax Machine]] in the [[Clan VIP Lounge]] |
| *Wait a minute . . . if a "ply" is a layer, then it's called "plywood" because it's made of layers of wood. Woah.|defense=90}} | | *[[Mimic DNA Bank]] with a [[Chest Mimic]] as your active familiar. |
| {{ManuelEntry|triffid|*The triffid's poison also causes hallucinations and bizarre body sensations that are ... well, to be honest they're pretty neat.|defense=4}}
| | *The [[Rain Man]] skill in [[Heavy Rains]], if you have at least one factoid for it |
| | *Randomly fought when drawing from a [[Deck of Every Card]] |
| | *Wishing to fight them with the [[genie bottle]] or [[pocket wish]] |
| | **Pre-revamp Naughty Sorceress [[The Sorceress' Tower (The Stairs)|tower monsters]] can only be fought with wishes |
| | *Reminiscing about monsters saved in your [[combat lover's locket]] |
| | *Bodyguards in [[Avant Guard]] |
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| ==U== | | ==Ambigious Monsters== |
| {{ManuelEntry|undead elbow macaroni (monster)|*Undead elbow macaroni is best enjoyed al dente with plenty of butter and cheese.
| | Some monsters share the same in-game name, but are technically different monsters |
| *Undead elbow macaroni can be used to make adorable macaroni pictures, with only minimal risk of opening a portal to Hey Deze and getting damned forever.}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|unemployed knob goblin|*Knob goblin unemployment benefits are limited to the "you can panhandle here and the guards will only beat you up occasionally" type.
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| *The knob goblin economy has been in upheaval recently, after a crash in the underground village market.
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| *Unemployed knob goblins are always welcome to join the Harem Guard, but most decide they'd rather avoid the harem's employment prerequisites.|defense=5}}
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| {{ManuelEntry|upgraded ram|*The upgraded ram can perform a trillion computations per second, as long as those computations have to do with jumping from rock to rock or butting heads with other rams.
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| *The ram's horns are sought after by wizards trying to look more interesting instead of developing a personality. They're the fedoras of the wizarding set.
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| *I don't recommend battering rams; they're far more tasty grilled with a little lemon and honey sauce.|defense=93}}
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| ==V==
| | *[[Astronomer]] and [[Astronomer (obsolete)]] |
| ==W==
| | *[[possessed wine rack]] and [[possessed wine rack (obsolete)]] |
| {{ManuelEntry|warwelf|*The warwelf is technically a skin walker, Texas skin ranger.|defense=2}}
| | *[[skeletal sommelier]] and [[skeletal sommelier (obsolete)]] |
| {{ManuelEntry|werecougar|*Werecougars emit pheremones to attract the opposite sex, regardless of which form they're currently in.
| | *El Vibrato depending on if the player is wearing an [[El Vibrato translator]] or not |
| *Werecougars frequently have their lips smeared with red, regardless of which form they're currently in.|defense=7}} | | **[[bizarre construct]] and [[bizarre construct (translated)]] |
| {{ManuelEntry|wolfman|*You probably already knew that wolfmen have nards. What you may not know is, they also have bachelor's degrees in philosophy.|defense=2}}
| | **[[hulking construct]] and [[hulking construct (translated)]] |
| | **[[industrious construct]] and [[industrious construct (translated)]] |
| | **[[lonely construct]] and [[lonely construct (translated)]] |
| | **[[menacing construct]] and [[menacing construct (translated)]] |
| | **[[towering construct]] and [[towering construct (translated)]] |
| | *[[animated nightstand (White)]] and [[animated nightstand (white noncombat)]] |
| | *[[animated nightstand (Mahogany)]] and [[animated nightstand (mahogany noncombat)]] |
| | *The 5 [[ancient protector spirit]]s |
| | *[[clingy pirate (female)]] and [[clingy pirate (male)]] |
| | *Gremlins: |
| | **[[batwinged gremlin]] and [[batwinged gremlin (quest)]] |
| | **[[erudite gremlin]] and [[erudite gremlin (quest)]] |
| | **[[spider gremlin]] and [[spider gremlin (quest)]] |
| | **[[vegetable gremlin]] and [[vegetable gremlin (quest)]] |
| | *[[Hobelf (Elf Alley)]] and [[Hobelf (WC)]] |
| | *[[knight (Snake)]] and [[knight (Wolf)]] |
| | *Nemesis quest monsters: |
| | **[[Gorgolok, the Infernal Seal (Inner Sanctum)]] and [[Gorgolok, the Infernal Seal (The Nemesis' Lair)]] and [[Gorgolok, the Infernal Seal (Volcanic Cave)]] |
| | **[[Lumpy, the Sinister Sauceblob (Inner Sanctum)]] and [[Lumpy, the Sinister Sauceblob (The Nemesis' Lair)]] and [[Lumpy, the Sinister Sauceblob (Volcanic Cave)]] |
| | **[[Somerset Lopez, Dread Mariachi (Inner Sanctum)]] and [[Somerset Lopez, Dread Mariachi (The Nemesis' Lair)]] and [[Somerset Lopez, Dread Mariachi (Volcanic Cave)]] |
| | **[[Spaghetti Elemental (Inner Sanctum)]] and [[Spaghetti Elemental (The Nemesis' Lair)]] and [[Spaghetti Elemental (Volcanic Cave)]] |
| | **[[Spirit of New Wave (Inner Sanctum)]] and [[Spirit of New Wave (The Nemesis' Lair)]] and [[Spirit of New Wave (Volcanic Cave)]] |
| | **[[Stella, the Turtle Poacher (Inner Sanctum)]] and [[Stella, the Turtle Poacher (The Nemesis' Lair)]] and [[Stella, the Turtle Poacher (Volcanic Cave)]] |
| | *[[Ninja Snowman (Chopsticks)]] and [[Ninja Snowman (Hilt)]] and [[Ninja Snowman (Mask)]] |
| | *[[Orcish Frat Boy (Music Lover)]] and [[Orcish Frat Boy (Paddler)]] and [[Orcish Frat Boy (Pledge)]] |
| | *[[Trippy Floating Head (Casey Kasem)]] and [[Trippy Floating Head (Grand Moff Tarkin)]] and [[Trippy Floating Head (Mona Lisa)]] |
| | *[[Jerry Bradford]] replaces most of the bosses in the [[Pocket Familiars]] path, and has nine sets of factoids that are indistinguishable by name. |
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| ==X==
| | [[Category:Miscellaneous]] |
| ==Y==
| |
| ==Z==
| |
| {{ManuelEntry|zombie chef|*The zombie chef's specialty is Brains a la Brains.|defense=4}}
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| ==Other==
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| {{ManuelEntry|(shadow opponent)|*Look, the shadow opponent is basically a negative-matter version of yourself. Do you need a bunch of fun facts about the opposite of you, or can you extrapolate 'em yourself?|attack=150|defense=89999|hp=395}}
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