Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificate

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Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificate
Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificate

This appears to be a gift certificate for a company called Discount Telescope Warehouse. The print is really fine, but the part that you can read says "Just drop this into any mailbox, and we will deliver, via our instantaneous magical transport system, a shiny new telescope, straight to your campsite! If you've already got one of our telescopes, this gift certificate entitles you to a free upgrade! All of our telescopes come with a multiple-lifetime guarantee."

Type: usable
Cannot be traded or discarded


(In-game plural: Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificates)
View metadata
Item number: 2599
Description ID: 666281098
View in-game: view

Obtained From

Fernswarthy's Basement
Fernswarthy's Basement, Level 500

When Used

  • First use:
You drop the order form in a mailbox in Seaside Town, and see a bolt of light whoosh across the sky over your head, toward your campsite. When you head back, there's a shiny new telescope there!
  • On second through seventh uses:
You drop the order form in a mailbox in town, and see a familiar bolt of light arc across the sky. You head back to your campsite, and find that your telescope has been fitted with a more powerful lens. Now you can see farther and pick out finer details!
  • Eighth use onwards:
You fill out the form and drop it in a mailbox in town. No sooner has it hit the bottom of the box than a tiny pixie appears next to you.

"Hello. I represent the fine folks at Discount Telescope Warehouse. We regret to inform you that we are unable to honor your gift certificate, as you already have the nicest telescope we have to offer.

Please accept this Meat by way of apology for the inconvenience."

You gain 100,000 Meat.
  • Eighth use onwards, while in Ronin:
You fill out the form and drop it in a mailbox in town. No sooner has it hit the bottom of the box than a tiny pixie appears next to you.

"Hello. I represent the fine folks at Discount Telescope Warehouse. We regret to inform you that we are unable to honor your gift certificate, as you already have the nicest telescope we have to offer.

Please accept this Meat by way of apology for the inconvenience."

"Oh, wait. I can't give you this Meat right now. Here, have the certificate back, and mail it again once you're able to accept Meat from other people."

Notes

  • Creates A Telescope at your Campground.
  • Due to the "multiple-lifetime guarantee" promised, the telescope remains after ascension (except during a Bad Moon run).
  • You will still get the meat if in a non-Hardcore/Ronin Surprising Fist run.
  • While you can use 7 certificates, only the first 5 create visible upgrades. The last two only increase the power of the Starry-Eyed buff.

Collection

  • 🥇: BC_Goldman (#887028) - 532
  • 🥈: sub (#696684) - 378
  • 🥉: Louis of Apshai (#1682554) - 173
  • #4: Baron von Wurlitzer (#298367) - 168
  • #5: BabyScarface (#404307) - 159
  • #6: kirahvikoira (#2744698) - 158
  • #7: antimarty (#1083989) - 100
  • #8: QLou (#250991) - 87
  • #9: PlastikObst (#760700) - 67
  • #10: Nikademus (#95105) - 46

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Meat-Producing Items - edit

ancient vinyl coin purse
650-750
 

bag of park garbage
150-250
 

black pension check
400-450
 

briefcase
300
(or a fat stack of cash) 

chest of the Bonerdagon
3,000
 

collection of tiny spooky objects
100-1,000
 

CSA discount card
300
 

cursed piece of thirteen
500-1,000
(or fight a scary pirate) 

Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificate
100,000
(after upgrading A Telescope 7 times) 

dungeon dragon chest
450-550
 

duct tape wallet
2,500-3,600
 

envelope full of Meat
500
(Affected by +meat% modifiers)

fat wallet
350-450
 

flytrap pellet
300-400
 (sometimes)

Gathered Meat-Clip
420-620
 

Gratitude chocolate (Meat-filled)
10,000
 

handful of tips
300-400
(Lose ~20k Meat every 10k earned)

haunted Hell ramen
20-24
(and gain 4 fullness) 

Hell ramen
20-29
(and gain 4 fullness) 

kobold treasure hoard
10
(plus possibly a newborn kobold) 

LOLmec statuette
1,000,000
 

meat globe
600-800
 (if there's one in your dwelling) 

Mr. Big's Wallet
690
 

nest egg
150
 

Orcish meat locker
90-110
(if you have a rusty metal key, which is consumed) 

old coin purse
450-550
 

old leather wallet
400-600
 

Penultimate Fantasy chest
100-200
(plus some items) 

pixel coin
2,000
 

pixellated moneybag
450-550
 

roll of meat
1,750
(some of which are meat stacks) 

shiny stones
140-160
 

smut orc keepsake box
1,400-1,500
(after bridge is finished) 

SMOOCH bottlecap
1,000
 

solid gold jewel
100,000
 

stolen meatpouch
30-50
 

Warm Subject gift certificate
400-500
(except for first use with Torso Awaregness)