Two-handed weapons

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Two-handed weapons require two hands, which means Off-hand Items and Double-Fisted Skull Smashing cannot be used at the same time. Despite the name, three-handed weapons are treated exactly like two-handed weapons; the term is often applied to overcomplicated weapons, such as the ridiculously overelaborate ninja weapon and the ridiculously huge sword.

Name	Power	Req	Weapon Type	Notes
Bigger Bugfinder Blade	200	85 Mus	2-handed sword	All Attributes +11 Awarded to people who find major bugs or a lot of bugs
Chester's bag of candy	200	200 Mox	2-handed ranged weapon	+30 Sleaze Damage Moxie +10% Bonus for DBs only Part of the Tawdry Tramp Togs
Coily™	200	200 Mox	2-handed spring	Moxie +15% +10% Items from Monsters +25% Meat from Monsters Can be consumed in combat for thousands of damage
decaying wooden oar	200	85 Mus	2-handed club
El Vibrato energy spear	200	200 Mus	2-handed spear	Part of the El Vibrato Relics Can be charged with various effects
fetus-smashing club	200	85 Mus	2-handed club	A custom item given to Bashy
fish bazooka	200	85 Mox	2-handed bazooka	Moxie +5% +10% Meat from Monsters
fish stick	200	85 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +5% Bonus Spell Damage +15%
flamin' bindle	200	200 Mus	2-handed polearm	+10% Items from Monsters +25 Hot Damage Does extra Hot Damage on critical hits
freezin' bindle	200	200 Mus	2-handed polearm	+10% Items from Monsters +25 Cold Damage Does extra Cold Damage on critical hits
frosty's nailbat	200	200 Mus	2-handed club	Muscle +30% +3% Critical Hit Chance +30 Cold Damage Bonus for SCs only Part of the Hyperborean Hobo Habiliments
giant fishhook	200	85 Mox	2-handed spear
halibut	200	85 Mus	2-handed fish	+100 Stench Damage +100 Sleaze Damage Moxie -10%
Mer-kin digpick	200	85 Mus	2-handed axe	Bonus Weapon Damage +30 Allows for mining in the Anemone Mine
non-stick pugil stick	200	85 Mus	2-handed club	Muscle +10% Bonus Weapon Damage +10% On critical hit: Stuns Opponent
Ol' Scratch's infernal pitchfork	200	200 Mus	2-handed polearm	+40 Hot Damage +2% Critical Hit Chance
PVC staff	200	85 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +15% +10% Items from Monsters +60 Damage to Cold Spells
skate board	200	85 Mus	2-handed club	All Attributes +10% Damage Reduction: 10
sleazy bindle	200	200 Mus	2-handed polearm	+10% Items from Monsters +25 Sleaze Damage Does extra Sleaze Damage on critical hits
slime-covered shovel	200	200 Mus	2-handed polearm	Bonus Weapon Damage +60 +100 Damage vs. Slimes Combat Initiative -10%
stinkin' bindle	200	200 Mus	2-handed polearm	+10% Items from Monsters +25 Stench Damage Does extra Stench Damage on critical hits
spooky bindle	200	200 Mus	2-handed polearm	+10% Items from Monsters +25 Spooky Damage Does extra Spooky Damage on critical hits
underworld flail	200	150 Mox	2-handed flail	+10 Moxie Stat Gains from Fights Bonus Ranged Damage +30 Moxie +10%
underworld truncheon	200	150 Mus	2-handed club	+10 Muscle Stat(s) Per Fight Weapon Damage +20% Muscle +10%
villainous scythe	200	150 Mus	2-handed polearm	Part of the Grimy Reaper's Vestments Slime Hates It x2 Bonus Weapon Damage +30% +4% Critical Hit Chance
Zim Merman's guitar	200	85 Mox	2-handed guitar	Ranged Damage +20
Zombo's shoulder blade	200	200 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +30% Melee Damage +30%
beer-a-pult	190	80 Mox	3-handed catapult	+10 Stench Damage +10 Sleaze Damage
cast-iron legacy paddle	190	80 Mus	2-handed club	Muscle +15 Melee Damage +10
fire poi	190	80 Mox	2-handed flail	+15 Hot Damage Moxie +3
giant driftwood sculpture	190	80 Mus	2-handed flail	Moxie +8 Melee Damage +15
massive sitar	190	80 Mox	2-handed sitar	Mysticality +12 Spell Damage +20
Bugfinder Blade	180	75 Mus	2-handed sword	All Attributes +7 Awarded to people who find a few bugs
didgeridooka	180	75 Mox	2-handed heavy blowgun	Moxie +9
plexiglass pikestaff	180	75 Mus	2-handed club	Melee Damage +25 +10 Extra PvP Fights Muscle +30% SC's HCO reward
perforated battle paddle	175	72 Mus	2-handed club	Melee Damage +10
Drowsy Sword	171	66 Mus	2-handed sword	Successful hit weakens opponent Monster Level -10
charming flute	170	70 Mox	2-handed flute	Moxie +8 +20 Bonus Weapon Damage vs. Snakes
denim axe	170	70 Mus	2-handed axe	Muscle +10 Melee Damage +10
star crossbow	165	67 Mox	2-handed crossbow	Moxie +8
star staff	165	67 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +8
star sword	165	67 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +8
arse-shooting crossbow	160	65 Mox	2-handed crossbow	A custom item given to Kucolan All Attributes +15 Allows Arse Shoot
creepy-ass club	160	65 Mus	2-handed club	Weapon Damage +25 +15 to Monster Level +15 Sleaze Damage Player loses 10 HP due to sleaze at end of combat Bonus for SCs only
cyber-mattock	160	65 Mus	2-handed axe	+5% Items from Monsters +10% Meat from Monsters May break in combat
evil-ass club	160	65 Mus	2-handed club	Weapon Damage +25 +15 to Monster Level +15 Spooky Damage Player loses 10 HP due to spooky at the end of combat Bonus for SCs only
frigid-ass club	160	65 Mus	2-handed club	Weapon Damage +25 +15 to Monster Level +15 Cold Damage Player loses 10 HP due to cold at the end of combat Bonus for SCs only
heavy metal thunderrr guitarrr	160	65 Mox	2-handed axe	Melee Damage +16
hot-ass club	160	65 Mus	2-handed club	Weapon Damage +25 +15 to Monster Level +15 Hot Damage Player loses 10 HP due to hot at the end of combat Bonus for SCs only
jungle drum	160	65 Mox	2-handed drum	+10 Spooky Damage So-So Spooky Resistance Combat Initiative -20%
nasty-ass club	160	65 Mus	2-handed club	Weapon Damage +25 +15 to Monster Level +15 Stench Damage Player loses 10 HP due to stench at the end of combat Bonus for SCs only
giant discarded plastic fork	155	62 Mus	3-handed staff	Part of the Glad Bag Glad Rags 2x Critical Hit Chance Combat Initiative -10%
magilaser blastercannon	155	62 Mox	2-handed laser cannon	Ranged Damage +15 +5 (hot damage)
automatic catapult	150	60 Mox	2-handed autopult
bill bec-de-bardiche glaive-guisarme	150	60 Mus	2-handed polearm?
bugbear-smiting sword	150	60 Mus	2-handed sword	A custom item given to Spazworrier Melee Damage +10 Muscle +10
C.B.F.G.	150	60 Mox	2-handed rifle	Part of the Crimborg Assault Armor +10 Hot Damage +10 Stench Damage
drywall axe	150	60 Mus	2-handed axe	All Attributes +2 All Attributes +3%
giant needle	150	60 Mus	2-handed spear	Monster Level +5
Radio Free Foil	150	60 Mus	2-handed sword	Part of the Radio Free Regalia Intrinsic Effect: Shiny Happy Weapon: Muscle +20
a butt tuba	145	57 Mox	2-handed horn	+15 Sleaze Damage
acoustic guitarrr	140	55 Mox	2-handed guitar	+8% Meat from Monsters
armgun	140	55 Mox	2-handed machine gun	Bonus Weapon Damage + 10 2x Critical Hit Chance
black kettle drum	140	55 Mox	2-handed drum	Moxie +5 Maximum HP +30 Maximum MP +30
ridiculously huge sword	140	55 Mus	3-handed sword	Melee Damage +12 Muscle +4
carob cannon	135	45 Mox	2-handed crossbow	Moxie +7 +3 Extra Rollover Adventures +5 Stench Damage
hairy staff	135	45 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7 Spell Damage +7 Regenerate 5-7 MP per Adventure
ram-battering staff	135	52 Mus	2-handed staff	+10 Damage to Hot Spells Moxie +5
Spirit Precipice	135	45 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +7 Mysticality +5 5x Critical Hit Chance Does 12-24 damage to player on critical
4-dimensional guitar	130	50 Mox	2-handed guitar	Bonus Ranged Damage +7 3x Critical Hit Chance
bad-ass club	130	50 Mus	2-handed club	Weapon Damage +15 +10 to Monster Level Bonus for SCs only
hot cross bow	130	45 Mox	2-handed crossbow	Moxie +7 Muscle +5 +5 Hot Damage
lucky ball-and-chain	130	50 Mox	2-handed flail
sword behind inappropriate prepositions	130	45 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +7 +5 Extra Rollover Adventures
ga-ga radio	125	47 Mox	2-handed radio	+1 Stat Gains from Fights Melee Damage +5 Maximum MP +20
Grimacite glaive	125	47 Mus	2-handed polearm	A prize from The Raffle House Melee Damage +15 Muscle +0-50% based on Grimace darkness
meatspout staff	125	45 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7 +3 Extra Rollover Adventures +15% Meat from Monsters
projectile icemaker	125	45 Mox	2-handed crossbow	Moxie +7 Spell Damage +7 +5 Cold Damage
shuddersword	125	45 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +7 Spell Damage +7 +5 Spooky Damage
smoldering staff	125	45 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7 Moxie +5 +11 Damage to Stench Spells
asbestos sword	120	45 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +7 Mysticality +5
buffalo blade	120	45 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +5 +3 Hot Damage +2 Sleaze Damage
chrome crossbow	120	45 Mox	2-handed crossbow	Moxie +7 +3 Extra Rollover Adventures
giant cheesestick	120	45 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +5 +11 Damage to Sleaze Spells
linoleum staff	120	45 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7 Spell Damage +7
ocarina of space	120	45 Mox	2-handed flute	All Attributes +4 Bonus Ranged Damage +5 +2 Stat Gains from Fights
two-handed depthsword	120	45 Mus	2-handed sword
ram stick	115	42 Mus	2-handed staff	Moxie +5
asbestos crossbow	110	40 Mox	2-handed crossbow	Moxie +7 Muscle +5
bone flute	110	40 Mox	2-handed flute	+11 Spooky Damage
chrome staff	110	40 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7 +3 Extra Rollover Adventures
linoleum sword	110	40 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +7 Spell Damage +7
sack of doorknobs	110	40 Mox	2-handed sack
asbestos staff	100	35 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7 Moxie +5
big stirring stick	100	35 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +5 Spell Damage +5
bounty-hunting rifle	100	25 Mox	2-handed rifle	Part of the Bounty-Hunting Rig +15% Items from Monsters
bow staff	100	35 Mus	2-handed staff	Part of the Bow Tux Mysticality +5 Melee Damage +3
chrome sword	100	35 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +7 +3 Extra Rollover Adventures
Crimbomination Contraption	100	None	2-handed club
Crimbo sword	100	35 Mus	2-handed sword	Part of the Crimbo Duds Melee Damage +5
depleted Grimacite hammer	100	35 Mus	2-handed club	Monster Level +0-25 based on Grimace darkness Needed for depleted Grimacite smithing
goulauncher	100	35 Mox	2-handed crossbow	Moxie +4 +5 Spooky Damage
linoleum crossbow	100	35 Mox	2-handed crossbow	Moxie +7 Spell Damage +7
plastic guitar	100	35 Mox	2-handed guitar	Moxie +5 Combat Initiative +15%
ridiculously overelaborate ninja weapon	100	35 Mus	3-handed ...weapon	3x Critical Hit Chance 3x Fumble Chance
soylent staff	100	35 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +4 Spell Damage +10
sugar shillelagh	100	None	2-handed club	Bonus Weapon Damage +50% Breaks after 30 combats
icy-hot katana	90	30 Mus	2-handed sword	Part of the Hot and Cold Running Ninja Suit +3 Hot Damage +3 Cold Damage
ninja mop	90	30 Mus	2-handed polearm	Melee Damage +5
Shagadelic Disco Banjo	90	15 Mox	2-handed banjo	Moxie +11 +10% Meat from Monsters +7 damage to DB combat skills DB's Legendary Epic Weapon Bonus for DBs only
Squeezebox of the Ages	90	15 Mox	2-handed accordion	Moxie +11 Ranged Damage +15 AT's Legendary Epic Weapon Enables the casting of 15-turn AT buffs Bonus for ATs only
7-Foot Dwarven mattock	80	25 Mus	2-handed axe	Part of the Mining Gear Successful hit weakens opponent
bubble bauble bow	80	25 Mox	2-handed bow	Moxie +3 Mysticality +2 +5% Items from Monsters
clockwork staff	80	25 Mys	2-handed staff	Spell Damage +10 3x Critical Hit Chance Restore 3-24 MP on Critical hit
clockwork sword	80	25 Mus	2-handed sword	Melee Damage +10 3x Critical Hit Chance Restore 3-24 HP on Critical hit
Crimbo ukelele	80	20 Mox	2-handed guitar	+10% Items from Monsters
crowbarrr	80	25 Mus	2-handed staff	Combat Initiative +15%
flypaper staff	80	25 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3 Melee Damage +3 +3 Spooky Damage
frigid hankyū	80	25 Mox	2-handed bow	+6 Cold Damage Moxie +2
frozen nunchaku	80	25 Mus	2-handed flail	Melee Damage +3 +3 Cold Damage
goblin autoblowgun	80	25 Mox	2-handed blowgun	Bonus Ranged Damage +5 Does poison Passive Damage
goblin hunting spear	80	25 Mus	2-handed spear	Bonus Weapon Damage +5 +15 Damage vs. Jungle Beasts
rib of the Bonerdagon	80	25 Mus	2-handed staff	Muscle +5 Mysticality +5 Spell Damage +15
rusty grave robbing shovel	80	25 Mus	2-handed polearm	+5 Spooky Damage Combat Initiative -10%
savory crossbow	80	25 Mox	2-handed crossbow	Moxie +4
savory staff	80	25 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +4
wholeberd	80	25 Mus	2-handed polearm	Melee Damage +6
can cannon	75	22 Mox	2-handed crossbow	Moxie +3 Monster Level +3 Melee Damage +3
squeaky staff	75	22 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3 Monster Level +6
wiffle-flail	75	22 Mus	2-handed flail	Mysticality +3 Muscle +2 Combat Initiative +20%
25-meat staff	70	20 Mus	2-handed staff
Kentucky-fried meat crossbow	70	20 Mox	2-handed crossbow	Moxie +5
Kentucky-fried meat staff	70	20 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +5
Kentucky-fried meat sword	70	20 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +5
Totally Gay Claymore	69	19 Mus	2-handed sword	A custom item given to PhilANThropiSt
repeating crossbow	65	17 Mox	2-handed crossbow	Moxie +2 3x Critical Hit Chance
bubblewrap crossbow	60	15 Mox	2-handed crossbow	Moxie +3 Mysticality +2
bubblewrap staff	60	15 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3 Muscle +2
cardboard crossbow	60	15 Mox	2-handed crossbow	Moxie +3 Melee Damage +3
cardboard staff	60	15 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3 Melee Damage +3
dense meat crossbow	60	15 Mox	2-handed crossbow	Moxie +3
dense meat staff	60	15 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3
dense meat sword	60	15 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +3
eXtreme meat crossbow	60	15 Mox	2-handed crossbow	Moxie +7
eXtreme meat staff	60	15 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7
eXtreme meat sword	60	15 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +7
glistening staff	60	15 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +2 +3 Sleaze Damage
Gnollish autoplunger	60	15 Mus	3-handed spear	Mysticality +3
Knob Goblin elite polearm	60	15 Mus	2-handed polearm	Part of the Knob Goblin Elite Guard Uniform Melee Damage +3
pair of bolt cutters	60	15 Mus	2-handed club	Delevels on hit
slightly peevedbow	60	15 Mox	2-handed bow
styrofoam crossbow	60	15 Mox	2-handed crossbow	Moxie +3 Monster Level +3
styrofoam staff	60	15 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3 Monster Level +3
wooden axe	60	15 Mus	2-handed axe	Muscle +3
infernal fife	55	12 Mox	2-handed flute	+7 Hot Damage
poutine pole	55	12 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3 +3 Sleaze Damage
Ax of L'rose	50	None	2-handed axe
Disco Banjo	50	10 Mox	2-handed banjo	Moxie +7 +3 damage to DB combat skills DB's Epic Weapon Bonus for DBs only
dripping meat crossbow	50	10 Mox	2-handed crossbow	Moxie +2
dripping meat staff	50	10 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +2
office-supply crossbow	50	10 Mox	2-handed crossbow	Moxie +3 Bonus Ranged Damage +3
Red Rover BB gun	50	10 Mox	2-handed gun	3x Critical Hit Chance On critical, either puts out your eye (All Attributes -10%) or your opponent's
Rock and Roll Legend	50	10 Mox	2-handed accordion	Moxie +7 AT's Epic Weapon Enables the casting of 10-turn AT buffs (all classes) Bonus for ATs only
worm-riding hooks	50	None	2-handed club
calavera concertina	40	5 Mox	2-handed accordion	Moxie +3 Enables the casting of 7-turn AT buffs (all classes)
dueling banjo	40	5 Mox	2-handed banjo	Moxie +4 +5 Monster Level
half-sized guitar	40	5 Mox	2-handed guitar	Moxie +2 Bonus Ranged Damage +4
pool cue	40	None	2-handed staff	Moxie +3
rubber axe	40	5 Mus	2-handed axe	+2 Sleaze Damage
starchy staff	40	5 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3
big bass drum	35	2 Mox	2-handed drum	Maximum HP +20 Damage Absorption +8
pocket theremin	35	2 Mox	2-handed theremin	+4 Spooky Damage
spooky staff	35	2 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +2 +2 Spooky Damage
grave robbing shovel	30	None	2-handed polearm	+3 Spooky Damage Combat Initiative -10%
out-of-tune biwa	30	None	2-handed guitar	Bonus Ranged Damage +2
spooky stick	30	None	2-handed staff	+2 Spooky Damage
third-hand nunchaku	30	7 Mus	2-handed flail	Melee Damage +3
stone banjo	25	None	2-handed banjo	Moxie +1
wooden stakes	25	None	2-handed spear	Melee Damage +1
basic meat crossbow	20	5 Mox	2-handed crossbow	Moxie +1
basic meat staff	20	5 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +1
basic meat sword	20	5 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +1
slingshot	20	None	2-handed slingshot
soup-chucks	15	None	2-handed flail	+2 Hot Damage
big stick	10	None	2-handed staff
KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat	10	None	2-handed club	Maximum HP +10 Maximum MP +10 Regenerate 1-3 HP per adventure Regenerate 1-3 MP per adventure Cannot equip in Hardcore
stolen accordion	10	None	2-handed accordion	Enables the casting of 5-turn AT buffs (all classes)