Two-handed weapons: Difference between revisions

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{{RETURNTO Mechanics}}
{{RETURNTO Mechanics}}


<TABLE CELLPADDING=3 CELLSPACING=0 BORDER=1px>
Two-handed weapons require two hands, which means [[Off-hand Items]] and [[Double-Fisted Skull Smashing]] cannot be used at the same time. Despite the name, three-handed weapons are treated exactly like two-handed weapons; the term is often applied to overcomplicated weapons, such as the [[ridiculously overelaborate ninja weapon]] and the [[ridiculously huge sword]].


<tr align=center style="background-color: #EFEFEF;">
{| cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" border="1px" style="border-collapse:collapse; margin:1em auto;"  class="sortable"
<th>Name</th>
|- style="background-color: #EFEFEF"
<th>Power</th>
! Name
<th>Requirements</th>
! Damage
<th>Notes</th>
! Req
</tr>
! Weapon<br />Type
! Notes
|-
||[[Great Wolf's rocket launcher]]
|30-60
|100 Moxie
|2-handed bazooka
|
*[[Bonus Ranged Damage|Ranged Damage]] +50
*+20% [[Critical Hit Chance|Chance of Critical Hit]]
*Grants skill [[Fire Rocket]]
|-
||[[Unkillable Skeleton's restless leg]]
|30-60
|100 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +40
*Regenerate 20-30 [[MP Regeneration|MP]] per adventure
|-
||[[Unkillable Skeleton's sawsword]]
|30-60
|100 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*+100% [[Bonus Weapon Damage|Damage]] vs. Skeletons
*+50% [[Bonus Weapon Damage|Damage]] vs. Zombies
*+50% [[Bonus Weapon Damage|Damage]] vs. Vampires
*+50% [[Bonus Weapon Damage|Damage]] vs. Werewolves
*+50 [[Bonus Weapon Damage|Damage]] vs. Ghosts
*+50% [[Bonus Weapon Damage|Damage]] vs. Bugbears
|-
||[[bag of unfinished business]]
|23-45
|200 Moxie
|2-handed doggie bag
|
*+40 {{element|Stench}}
*+5 to [[Familiar Weight]]
|-
||[[Bigger Bugfinder Blade]]
|20-40
|85 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*All Attributes +11
*Awarded to people who find major bugs or a lot of bugs
|-
||[[bindlestocking]]
|20-40
|200 Muscle
|2-handed polearm
|
*+10% [[Items from Monsters|Item Drops from Monsters]]
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +25
*On [[Critical hit|critical]]: [[bindlestocking#Notes|Merry Crimbo!]]
|-
||[[Bloodbath]]
|20-40
|200 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*So-So [[Elemental Resistance|Resistance]] to All Elements (+2)
*Regenerate 25-30 [[HP Regeneration|HP]] and [[MP Regeneration|MP]] per adventure
|-
||[[Chester's bag of candy]]
|20-40
|200 Moxie
|2-handed ranged weapon
|
*Part of the [[Tawdry Tramp Togs]]
*+30 {{element|Sleaze}}
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +10%
*Bonus for [[Disco Bandit|DB]]s only
|-
||[[Coily™]]
|20-40
|200 Moxie
|2-handed spring
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +15%
*+10% [[Items from Monsters]]
*+25% [[Meat from Monsters]]
*Can be consumed in combat for thousands of damage
|-
||[[cozy bazooka]]
|20-40
|85 Moxie
|2-handed bazooka
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +15%
*+20% Meat from Monsters
*Makes you a much better diver
|-
||[[cozy scimitar]]
|20-40
|85 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +15%
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +50%
*Makes you a much better diver
|-
||[[decaying wooden oar]]
|20-40
|85 Muscle
|2-handed club
| &nbsp;
|-
||[[El Vibrato energy spear]]
|20-40
|200 Muscle
|2-handed spear
|
*Part of the [[El Vibrato Relics]]
*Can be [[El Vibrato helmet|charged]] with various effects
|-
||[[FDKOL fire hose]]
|20-40
|85 Moxie
|2-handed hose
| +200 {{element|Cold}}
|-
||[[fetus-smashing club]]
|20-40
|85 Muscle
|2-handed club
| A [[:Category:Custom Items|custom item]] given to [[Bashy]]
|-
||[[fire axe]]
|20-40
|85 Muscle
|2-handed axe
| +200 {{element|Cold}}
|-
||[[fish bazooka]]
|20-40
|85 Moxie
|2-handed bazooka
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +5%
*+10% [[Meat from Monsters]]
|-
||[[fish stick]]
|20-40
|85 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +5%
*[[Bonus Spell Damage]] +15%
|-
||[[flamin' bindle]]
|20-40
|200 Muscle
|2-handed polearm
|
*+10% [[Items from Monsters]]
*+25 {{element|Hot}}
*Does extra {{element|Hot}} on critical hits
|-
||[[freezin' bindle]]
|20-40
|200 Muscle
|2-handed polearm
|
*+10% [[Items from Monsters]]
*+25 {{element|Cold}}
*Does extra {{element|Cold}} on critical hits
|-
||[[Frosty's nailbat]]
|20-40
|200 Muscle
|2-handed club
|
*Part of the [[Hyperborean Hobo Habiliments]]
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +30%
*+15% [[Critical Hit Chance|Chance of Critical Hit]]
*+30 {{element|Cold}}
*Bonus for [[Seal Clubber|SC]]s only


|-
||[[giant fishhook]]
|20-40
|85 Moxie
|2-handed spear
| &nbsp;
|-
||[[giant shrimp fork]]
|20-40
|85 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*Mysticality +20%
*+10% Chance of Spell Critical Hit
*Maximum MP +100
|-
||[[giant turkey leg]]
|20-40
|200 Muscle
|3-handed club
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +50%
*Monsters will be more attracted to you.
|-
||[[Ginsu™]]
|20-40
|200 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*+100% Food Drops from Monsters
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +100%
|-
||[[halibut]]
|20-40
|85 Muscle
|2-handed fish
|
*+100 {{element|Stench}}
*+100 {{element|Sleaze}}
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] <font color=red>-10%</font>
|-
||[[Meatcleaver]]
|20-40
|200 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*+35% Meat from Monsters
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +100%
|-
||[[Mer-kin digpick]]
|20-40
|85 Muscle
|2-handed axe
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +30
*Allows for mining in the [[Anemone Mine]]
|-
||[[Mer-kin dodgeball]]
|20-40
|85 Moxie
|2-handed dodgeball
|
*+7 [[Extra PvP Fights|PvP fight(s)]] per day when equipped.*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +10%*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +10%
|-
||[[Mer-kin dragnet]]
|20-40
|85 Muscle
|2-handed dragnet
|
*+7 [[Extra PvP Fights|PvP fight(s)]] per day when equipped.*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +10%*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +10%
|-
||[[Mer-kin switchblade]]
|20-40
|85 Muscle
|2-handed switchblade
|
*+7 [[Extra PvP Fights|PvP fight(s)]] per day when equipped.
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +0%-50%
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +10%
|-
||[[miniature deck cannon]]
|20-40
|85 Moxie
|2-handed handcannon
|
*[[Bonus Ranged Damage|Ranged Damage]] +25
*Regenerate 10-20 [[HP Regeneration|HP]] and [[MP Regeneration|MP]] per adventure
|-
||[[non-stick pugil stick]]
|20-40
|85 Muscle
|2-handed club
|
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +10%
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +10%
*On [[critical hit]]: [[Stunning|Stuns Opponent]]
|-
||[[Ol' Scratch's infernal pitchfork]]
|20-40
|200 Muscle
|2-handed polearm
|
*+40 {{element|Hot}}
*+10% [[Critical Hit Chance|Chance of Critical Hit]]
|-
||[[PVC staff]]
|20-40
|85 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +15%
*+10% [[Items from Monsters]]
*+60 Damage to {{element|Cold|Spells}}
|-
||[[rusty staff]]
|20-40
|85 Mysticality
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +25
*+5% chance of Spell Critical Hit
|-
||[[Seeger's Unstoppable Banjo]]
|20-40
|60 Moxie
|2-handed banjo
|
*Part of the [[Legendary Regalia of the Groovelord]]
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +15
*+23% [[Meat from Monsters]]
*+15 damage to Disco Bandit Combat Skills
*Special Attack: [[Funk Bluegrass Fusion]]
*[[Disco Bandit]]'s [[Ultimate Legendary Epic Weapon]]
|-
||[[skate board]]
|20-40
|85 Muscle
|2-handed club
|
*All Attributes +10%
*[[Damage Reduction]]: 10
|-
||[[sleazy bindle]]
|20-40
|200 Muscle
|2-handed polearm
|
*+10% [[Items from Monsters]]
*+25 {{element|Sleaze}}
*Does extra {{element|Sleaze}} on critical hits
|-
||[[slime-covered shovel]]
|20-40
|200 Muscle
|2-handed polearm
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +60
*+100 Damage vs. Slimes
*[[Combat Initiative]] <font color=red>-10%</font>
|-
||[[slime-covered staff]]
|20-40
|200 Mysticality
|2-handed staff
|
*All Spells Cast Are Sleazy
*[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +60
*[[Combat Initiative]] -10%
|-
||[[spooky bindle]]
|20-40
|200 Muscle
|2-handed polearm
|
*+10% [[Items from Monsters]]
*+25 {{element|Spooky}}
*Does extra {{element|Spooky}} on critical hits
|-
||[[stinkin' bindle]]
|20-40
|200 Muscle
|2-handed polearm
|
*+10% [[Items from Monsters]]
*+25 {{element|Stench}}
*Does extra {{element|Stench}} on critical hits 
|-
||[[Sword of Procedural Generation]]
|20-40
|200 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*Varies player to player
|-
||[[The Trickster's Trikitixa]]
|20-40
|60 Moxie
|2-handed accordion
|
*Part of the [[Legendary Regalia of the Master Squeezeboxer]]
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +15
*[[Bonus Ranged Damage|Ranged Damage]] +23
*+11% [[Items from Monsters|Item Drops from Monsters]]
*Special Attack: [[Extreme High Note]]
*Enables casting of 20-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*[[Accordion Thief]]'s [[Ultimate Legendary Epic Weapon]]
|-
||[[triple barreled barrel gun]]
|20-40
|85 Moxie
|3-handed shotgun
|
*Weapon Damage +100%
*+10% Chance of Critical Hit
*+25% Meat from Monsters
|-
||[[Underworld flail]]
|20-40
|150 Moxie
|2-handed flail
|
*+10 Moxie [[Stat Gains from Fights]]
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Ranged Damage]] +30
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +10%
|-
||[[Underworld truncheon]]
|20-40
|150 Muscle
|2-handed club
|
*+10 Muscle [[Stat Gains from Fights]]
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +20%
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +10%
|-
||[[villainous scythe]]
|20-40
|150 Muscle
|2-handed polearm
|
*Part of the [[Grimy Reaper's Vestments]]
*[[Slime Hates It]] x2
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +30%
*+20% [[Critical Hit Chance|Chance of Critical Hit]]
|-
||[[Zim Merman's guitar]]
|20-40
|85 Moxie
|2-handed guitar
| [[Bonus Ranged Damage|Ranged Damage]] +20
|-
||[[Zombo's shoulder blade]]
|20-40
|200 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +30%
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +30%
|-
||[[beer-a-pult]]
|19-38
|80 Moxie
|3-handed catapult
|
*+10 {{element|Stench}}
*+10 {{element|Sleaze}}
|-
||[[cast-iron legacy paddle]]
|19-38
|80 Muscle
|2-handed club
|
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +15
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +10
|-
||[[fire poi]]
|19-38
|80 Moxie
|2-handed flail
|
*+15 {{element|Hot}}
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +3
|-
||[[giant driftwood sculpture]]
|19-38
|80 Muscle
|2-handed flail
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +8
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +15
|-
||[[massive sitar]]
|19-38
|80 Moxie
|2-handed sitar
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +12
*[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +20
|-
||[[alarm accordion]]
|18-36
|75 Moxie
|2-handed accordion
|
*+3 [[Extra Rollover Adventures|Adventure(s)]] per day when equipped.
*[[Combat Initiative]] +20%
*Enables casting of 20-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[Bugfinder Blade]]
|18-36
|75 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*All Attributes +7
*Awarded to people who find a few bugs
|-
||[[didgeridooka]]
|18-36
|75 Moxie
|2-handed heavy blowgun
| [[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +9
|-
||[[perforated battle paddle]]
|18-35
|72 Muscle
|2-handed club
| [[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +10
|-
||[[plexiglass pikestaff]]
|18-36
|75 Muscle
|2-handed club
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +25
*+9 [[Extra PvP Fights]]
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +30%
*[[Seal Clubber|SC]]'s [[Hardcore|HC]][[Oxygenarian|O]] reward
|-
||[[charming flute]]
|17-34
|70 Moxie
|2-handed flute
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +8
*+20 [[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] vs. Snakes
|-
||[[denim axe]]
|17-34
|70 Muscle
|2-handed axe
|
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +10
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +10
|-
||[[Drowsy Sword]]
|17-34
|66 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*[[Monster Level|Successful hit weakens opponent]]
*[[Monster Level]] <font color=red>-10</font>
|-
||[[peace accordion]]
|17-34
|70 Moxie
|2-handed accordion
|
*+12 {{element|Stench}}
*Enables casting of 19-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[star crossbow]]
|17-33
|67 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
| [[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +8
|-
||[[star staff]]
|17-33
|67 Muscle
|2-handed staff
| [[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +8
|-
||[[star sword]]
|17-33
|67 Muscle
|2-handed sword
| [[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +8
|-
||[[accordionoid rocca]]
|16-32
|65 Moxie
|2-handed accordion
|
*Damage Reduction: 10 (First Hit Only)
*Enables casting of 18-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[arse-shooting crossbow]]
|16-32
|65 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
|
*A [[:Category:Custom Items|custom item]] given to Kucolan
*All Attributes +15
*Grants skill [[Arse Shoot]]
|-
||[[coal shovel]]
|16-32
|65 Muscle
|2-handed polearm
|
*Grants skill [[Shovel Hot Coal]]
*+20 {{element|Hot}}
|-
||[[creepy-ass club]]
|16-32
|65 Muscle
|2-handed club
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +25
*+15 [[Monster Level]]
*+15 {{element|Sleaze}}
*Player loses 10 HP due to {{element|sleaze|}} at end of combat
*Bonus for [[Seal Clubber]]s only
|-
||[[cyber-mattock]]
|16-32
|65 Muscle
|2-handed axe
|
*+5% [[Items from Monsters]]
*+10% [[Meat from Monsters]]
*May break in combat
|-
||[[evil-ass club]]
|16-32
|65 Muscle
|2-handed club
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +25
*+15 [[Monster Level]]
*+15 {{element|Spooky}}
*Player loses 10 HP due to {{element|spooky|}} at the end of combat
*Bonus for [[Seal Clubber]]s only
|-
||[[frigid-ass club]]
|16-32
|65 Muscle
|2-handed club
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +25
*+15 [[Monster Level]]
*+15 {{element|Cold}}
*Player loses 10 HP due to {{element|cold|}} at the end of combat
*Bonus for [[Seal Clubber]]s only
|-
||[[giant discarded plastic fork]]
|16-31
|62 Muscle
|3-handed staff
|
*Part of the [[Glad Bag Glad Rags]]
*+10% [[Critical Hit Chance|Chance of Critical Hit]]
*[[Combat Initiative]] <font color=red>-10%</font>
|-
||[[heavy metal thunderrr guitarrr]]
|16-32
|65 Moxie
|2-handed axe
| [[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +16
|-
||[[hot-ass club]]
|16-32
|65 Muscle
|2-handed club
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +25
*+15 [[Monster Level]]
*+15 {{element|Cold}}
*Player loses 10 HP due to {{element|hot|}} at the end of combat
*Bonus for [[Seal Clubber]]s only
|-
||[[jungle drum]]
|16-32
|65 Moxie
|2-handed drum
|
*+10 {{element|Spooky}}
*So-So {{element|Spooky|Resistance}}
*[[Combat Initiative]] <font color=red>-20%</font>
|-
||[[magilaser blastercannon]]
|16-31
|62 Moxie
|2-handed laser cannon
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Ranged Damage]] +15
*+5 {{element|Hot}}
|-
||[[nasty-ass club]]
|16-32
|65 Muscle
|2-handed club
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +25
*+15 [[Monster Level]]
*+15 {{element|Stench}}
*Player loses 10 HP due to {{element|stench|}} at the end of combat
*Bonus for [[Seal Clubber]]s only
|-
||[[pewter claymore]]
|16-31
|62 Muscle
|2-handed sword
| Regenerate 6-12 [[HP Regeneration|HP]] and [[MP Regeneration|MP]] per adventure
|-
||[[tommy gun]]
|16-32
|65 Moxie
|2-handed rifle
|
*Weapon Damage +5
*Grants skill [[Unload Tommy Gun]]
|-
||[[a butt tuba]]
|15-29
|57 Moxie
|2-handed horn
|  +15 {{element|Sleaze}}
|-
||[[automatic catapult]]
|15-30
|60 Moxie
|2-handed autopult
| &nbsp;
|-
||[[backwoods banjo]]
|15-30
|50 Moxie
|2-handed banjo
|
*+20% to all [[Stat Gains from Fights|Moxie Gains]]
*[[Bonus Ranged Damage|Ranged Damage]] +40
*Maximum [[HP Modifiers|HP]]/[[MP Modifiers|MP]] +200
|-
||[[bill bec-de-bardiche glaive-guisarme]]
|15-30
|60 Muscle
|2-handed polearm?
| &nbsp;
|-
||[[bugbear-smiting sword]]
|15-30
|60 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*A [[:Category:Custom Items|custom item]] given to Spazworrier
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +10
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +10
|-
||[[C.B.F.G.]]
|15-30
|60 Moxie
|2-handed rifle
|
*Part of the [[Crimborg Assault Armor]]
*+10 {{element|Hot}}
*+10 {{element|Stench}}
|-
||[[double barreled barrel gun]]
|15-30
|60 Moxie
|2-handed shotgun
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +50%
*+5% Chance of [[Critical Hit Chance|Critical Hit]]
|-
||[[drywall axe]]
|15-30
|60 Muscle
|2-handed axe
|
*All Attributes +2
*All Attributes +3%
|-
||[[giant needle]]
|15-30
|60 Muscle
|2-handed spear
| [[Monster Level]] +5
|-
||[[mercenary rifle]]
|15-30
|30 Moxie
|2-handed rifle
|
*Ranged Damage +20
*Combat Initiative +50%
*Allows the Use of Specialty Ammunition
|-
||[[Radio Free Foil]]
|15-30
|60 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*Part of the [[Radio Free Regalia]]
*Intrinsic Effect: [[Shiny Happy Weapon]]:
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +20
|-
||[[toxic mop]]
|15-30
|50 Muscle
|2-handed polearm
|
*Part of the [[Toxic Togs]]
*+10 {{element|Stench}}
*+20 Damage to {{element|Stench|Spells}}
|-
||[[acoustic guitarrr]]
|14-28
|55 Moxie
|2-handed guitar
|  +8% [[Meat from Monsters]]
|-
||[[armgun]]
|14-28
|55 Moxie
|2-handed machine gun
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] + 10
*+5% [[Critical Hit Chance|Chance of Critical Hit]]
|-
||[[black kettle drum]]
|14-28
|55 Moxie
|2-handed drum
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +5
*Maximum [[HP Modifiers|HP]]/[[MP Modifiers|MP]] +30
|-
||[[carob cannon]]
|14-27
|45 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +7
*+3 [[Extra Rollover Adventures]]
*+5 {{element|Stench}}
|-
||[[ghost accordion]]
|14-28
|55 Moxie
|2-handed accordion
|
*+5 Spooky Damage
*+15% Booze Drops from Monsters
*Enables casting of 16-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[hairy staff]]
|14-27
|45 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +7
*[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +7
*[[MP Regeneration|Regenerate]] 5-7 MP per Adventure
|-
||[[ram-battering staff]]
|14-27
|52 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*+10 Damage to {{element|Hot|Spells}}
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +5
|-
||[[ridiculously huge sword]]
|14-28
|55 Muscle
|3-handed sword
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +12
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +4
|-
||[[Spirit Precipice]]
|14-27
|45 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +7
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +5
*+20% [[Critical Hit Chance|Chance of Critical Hit]]
|-
||[[autocalliope]]
|13-26
|50 Moxie
|2-handed accordion
|
*[[Prismatic Damage]] +2
*Enables casting of 15-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[bad-ass club]]
|13-26
|50 Muscle
|2-handed club
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +15
*+10 to [[Monster Level]]
*Bonus for [[Seal Clubber]]s only
|-
||[[ga-ga radio]]
|13-25
|47 Moxie
|2-handed radio
|
*+1 [[Stat Gains from Fights]]
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +5
*Maximum [[MP Modifiers|MP]] +20
|-
||[[Grimacite glaive]]
|13-25
|47 Muscle
|2-handed polearm
|
*A prize from [[The Raffle House]]
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +15
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +0-50% based on Grimace [[moons#Grimacite Equipment|darkness]]
|-
||[[hand-carved bow]]
|13-26
|30 Moxie
|2-handed bow
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +10%
*[[Bonus Ranged Damage|Ranged Damage]] +10
*[[Combat Initiative]] +20%
|-
||[[hand-carved staff]]
|13-26
|30 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +10%
*[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +10
*Slight [[Elemental Resistance|Resistance]] to All Elements (+1)
|-
||[[hot cross bow]]
|13-26
|45 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +7
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +5
*+5 {{element|Hot}}
|-
||[[lucky ball-and-chain]]
|13-26
|50 Moxie
|2-handed flail
| &nbsp;
|-
||[[meatspout staff]]
|13-25
|45 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +7
*+3 [[Extra Rollover Adventures]]
*+15% [[Meat from Monsters]]
|-
||[[projectile icemaker]]
|13-25
|45 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +7
*[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +7
*+5 {{element|Cold}}
|-
||[[shuddersword]]
|13-25
|45 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +7
*[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +7
*+5 {{element|Spooky}}
|-
||[[smoldering staff]]
|13-25
|45 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +7
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +5
*+11 Damage to {{element|Stench|Spells}}
|-
||[[staph of homophones]]
|13-26
|45 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +7
*+5 [[Extra Rollover Adventures|Adventure(s)]] per day when equipped.
|-
||[[sword behind inappropriate prepositions]]
|13-26
|45 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +7
*+5 [[Extra Rollover Adventures]]
|-
||[[asbestos sword]]
|12-24
|45 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +7
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +5
|-
||[[bone and arrows]]
|12-24
|45 Moxie
|2-handed bow
|  +30 Damage vs. Skeletons
|-
||[[buffalo blade]]
|12-24
|45 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +5
*+3 {{element|Hot}}
*+2 {{element|Sleaze}}
|-
||[[chrome crossbow]]
|12-24
|45 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +7
*+3 [[Extra Rollover Adventures]]
|-
||[[giant cheesestick]]
|12-24
|45 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +5
*+11 Damage to {{element|Sleaze|Spells}}
|-
||[[lawnmower blade]]
|12-24
|45 Muscle
|2-handed sword
| [[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +15
|-
||[[linoleum staff]]
|12-24
|45 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +7
*[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +7
|-
||[[non-Euclidean non-accordion]]
|12-23
|42 Moxie
|2-handed accordion
|
*[[Combat Initiative]] +15%
*Enables casting of 15-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[ocarina of space]]
|12-24
|45 Moxie
|2-handed flute
|
*All Attributes +4
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Ranged Damage]] +5
*+2 [[Stat Gains from Fights]]
|-
||[[ram stick]]
|12-23
|42 Muscle
|2-handed staff
| [[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +5
|-
||[[two-handed depthsword]]
|12-24
|45 Muscle
|2-handed sword
| &nbsp;
|-
||[[Accordion of Jordion]]
|11-21
|37 Moxie
|2-handed accordion
|
*+5% [[Items from Monsters|Item Drops from Monsters]]
*+10% Meat from Monsters
*Enables casting of 14-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[asbestos crossbow]]
|11-22
|40 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +7
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +5
|-
||[[bone flute]]
|11-22
|40 Moxie
|2-handed flute
|  +11 {{element|Spooky}}
|-
||[[chrome staff]]
|11-22
|40 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +7
*+3 [[Extra Rollover Adventures]]
|-
||[[linoleum sword]]
|11-22
|40 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +7
*[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +7
|-
||[[sack of doorknobs]]
|11-22
|40 Moxie
|2-handed sack
| &nbsp;
|-
||[[asbestos staff]]
|10-20
|35 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +7
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +5
|-
||[[big stirring stick]]
|10-20
|35 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +5
*[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +5
|-
||[[bounty-hunting rifle]]
|10-20
|25 Moxie
|2-handed rifle
|
*Part of the [[Bounty-Hunting Rig]]
*+15% [[Items from Monsters|Item Drops from Monsters]]
|-
||[[bow staff]]
|10-20
|35 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*Part of the [[Bow Tux]]
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +5
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +3
|-
||[[chrome sword]]
|10-20
|35 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +7
*+3 [[Extra Rollover Adventures]]
|-
||[[Crimbo sword]]
|10-20
|35 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*Part of the [[Crimbo Duds]]
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +5
|-
||[[Crimbomination Contraption]]
|10-20
|None
|2-handed club
| &nbsp;
|-
||[[depleted Grimacite hammer]]
|10-20
|35 Muscle
|2-handed club
|
*[[Monster Level]] +0-25 based on Grimace [[moons#Grimacite Equipment|darkness]]
*Needed for depleted Grimacite smithing
|-
||[[giant candy cane]]
|10-20
|None
|2-handed staff
|
*+40% [[Items from Monsters|Candy from Monsters]]
|-
||[[goulauncher]]
|10-20
|35 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +4
*+5 {{element|Spooky}}
|-
||[[The Landscaper's leafblower]]
|10-20
|35 Moxie
|2-handed leafblower
|  +1-25 [[Monster Level]] based on number of combats with leafblower equipped
|-
||[[linoleum crossbow]]
|10-20
|35 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +7
*[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +7
|-
||[[Loathing Legion chainsaw]]
|10-20
|None
|2-handed chainsaw
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +100%
*Successful hit [[Monster Level|weakens opponent]]
*Cannot be equipped in [[Hardcore]]
|-
||[[Loathing Legion flamethrower]]
|10-20
|None
|2-handed flamethrower
|
*+20 {{element|Hot}}
*Cannot be equipped in [[Hardcore]]
|-
||[[Moonthril Flamberge]]
|10-20
|40 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*Part of the [[Luniform]]
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +0-75% based on Grimace [[moons#Grimacite Equipment|darkness]]
|-
||[[Moonthril Longbow]]
|10-20
|40 Moxie
|2-handed bow
|
*Part of the [[Luniform]]
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +0-75% based on Grimace [[moons#Grimacite Equipment|darkness]]
|-
||[[plastic nunchaku]]
|10-20
|10 Muscle
|2-handed flail
|
*+3 [[Prismatic Damage]]
*+30% [[Combat Initiative]]
|-
||[[Rain-Doh violet bo]]
|10-20
|None
|2-handed staff
|
*+11 Sleaze Damage
*Moxie +11
|-
||[[plastic guitar]]
|10-20
|35 Moxie
|2-handed guitar
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +5
*[[Combat Initiative]] +15%
|-
||[[ridiculously overelaborate ninja weapon]]
|10-20
|35 Muscle
|3-handed ...weapon
|
*+15% [[Critical Hit Chance|Chance of Critical Hit]]
*<font color=red>3x</font> [[Fumble Chance]]
|-
||[[Shakespeare's Sister's Accordion]]
|10-20
|None
|2-handed accordion
|
*-1 MP to use Skills
*+5 [[Smithsness]]
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +X%
*(+% to Moxie Based on [[Smithsness]])
*Has a cool Cadenza
*Enables casting of 15-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[snow shovel]]
|10-20
|None
|2-handed polearm
|
*All Attributes +10
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +100%
|-
||[[soylent staff]]
|10-20
|35 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +4
*[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +10
|-
||[[Staff of Fats]]
|10-20
|35 Mysticality
|2-handed staff
|
*+5 Pool Skill
|-
||[[Staff of Fats (Actually Ed the Undying)]]
|10-20
|35 Mysticality
|2-handed staff
|
*+5 Pool Skill
|-
||[[sugar shillelagh]]
|10-20
|None
|2-handed club
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +50%
*Breaks after 30 combats
|-
||[[Super Crimboman Ultra Mega Hypersword]]
|10-20
|35 Muscle
|2-handed sword
| [[Prismatic Damage]] +5
|-
||[[tin drum]]
|10-20
|None
|2-handed drum
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +10%
*[[Prismatic Damage]] +3
*+1 Moxie Stat(s) Per Fight
|-
||[[Trusty]]
|10-20
|None
|2-handed axe
|
*Quest item in AoB run
|-
||[[foot-long hot daub]]
|9-17
|27 Muscle
|2-handed club
|
*Part of the [[Hot Daub Ensemble]]
*+9 {{element|Hot}}
*+9 Damage to Hot Spells
|-
||[[icy-hot katana]]
|9-18
|30 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*Part of the [[Hot and Cold Running Ninja Suit]]
*+3 {{element|Hot}}
*+3 {{element|Cold}}
|-
||[[ninja mop]]
|9-18
|30 Muscle
|2-handed polearm
| [[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +5
|-
||[[pentatonic accordion]]
|9-18
|30 Moxie
|2-handed accordion
|
*+9 {{element|Cold}}
*Enables casting of 12-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[Shagadelic Disco Banjo]]
|9-18
|15 Moxie
|2-handed banjo
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +11
*+10% [[Meat from Monsters]]
*+7 damage to DB combat skills
*[[Disco Bandit|DB]]'s [[Legendary Epic Weapon]]
*Bonus for [[Disco Bandit|DB]]s only
|-
||[[Squeezebox of the Ages]]
|9-18
|15 Moxie
|2-handed accordion
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +11
*[[Bonus Ranged Damage|Ranged Damage]] +15
*[[Accordion Thief|AT]]'s [[Legendary Epic Weapon]]
*Enables the casting of 15-turn AT buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[4-dimensional guitar]]
|8-16
|50 Moxie
|2-handed guitar
|
*[[Bonus Ranged Damage|Ranged Damage]] +5
*+10% [[Critical Hit Chance|Chance of Critical Hit]]
|-
||[[7-Foot Dwarven mattock]]
|8-16
|25 Muscle
|2-handed axe
|
*Part of the [[Mining Gear]]
*[[Monster Level|Successful hit weakens opponent]]
|-
||[[boilgun]]
|8-16
|25 Moxie
|2-handed rifle
|
*+8 {{element|Hot}}
*Maximum [[MP Modifiers|MP]] +10
|-
||[[bone bandoneon]]
|8-16
|25 Moxie
|2-handed accordion
|
*+7 {{element|Spooky}}
*Enables casting of 6-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[bubble bauble bow]]
|8-16
|25 Moxie
|2-handed bow
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +3
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +2
*+5% [[Items from Monsters]]
|-
||[[can cannon]]
|8-15
|22 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +3
*[[Monster Level]] +3
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +3
|-
||[[clockwork staff]]
|8-16
|25 Mysticality
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +10
*+15% [[Critical Hit Chance|Chance of Critical Hit]]
*[[MP Restorers|Restore]] 3-24 MP on [[Critical hit]]
|-
||[[clockwork sword]]
|8-16
|25 Muscle
|2-handed sword
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +10
*+15% [[Critical Hit Chance|Chance of Critical Hit]]
*[[HP Restorers|Restore]] 3-24 HP on [[Critical hit]]
|-
||[[Crimbo ukulele]]
|8-16
|20 Moxie
|2-handed guitar
|  +10% [[Items from Monsters]]
|-
||[[crowbarrr]]
|8-16
|25 Muscle
|2-handed staff
| [[Combat Initiative]] +15%
|-
||[[elephant stinger]]
|8-15
|22 Muscle
|2-handed spear
|
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +3
*50% chance of [[Passive Damage|poisoning opponent]]
|-
||[[flypaper staff]]
|8-16
|25 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +3
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +3
*+3 {{element|Spooky}}
|-
||[[frigid hankyū]]
|8-16
|25 Moxie
|2-handed bow
|
*+6 {{element|Cold}}
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +2
|-
||[[frozen nunchaku]]
|8-16
|25 Muscle
|2-handed flail
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +3
*+3 {{element|Cold}}
|-
||[[giant spider leg]]
|8-15
|22 Muscle
|2-handed club
|
*+10 [[element|Sleaze]]
*+10% Chance of [[Critical Hit Chance|Critical Hit]]
|-
||[[goblin autoblowgun]]
|8-16
|25 Moxie
|2-handed blowgun
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Ranged Damage]] +5
*50% chance of [[Passive Damage|poisoning opponent]]
|-
||[[goblin hunting spear]]
|8-16
|25 Muscle
|2-handed spear
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +5
*+15 Damage vs. Jungle Beasts
|-
||[[rib of the Bonerdagon]]
|8-16
|25 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +5
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +5
*[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +15
|-
||[[rusty grave robbing shovel]]
|8-16
|25 Muscle
|2-handed polearm
|
*+5 {{element|Spooky}}
*[[Combat Initiative]] <font color=red>-10%</font>
|-
||[[savory crossbow]]
|8-16
|25 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
| [[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +4
|-
||[[savory staff]]
|8-16
|25 Muscle
|2-handed staff
| [[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +4
|-
||[[squeaky staff]]
|8-15
|22 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +3
*[[Monster Level]] +6
|-
||[[wholeberd]]
|8-16
|25 Muscle
|2-handed polearm
| [[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +6
|-
||[[wiffle-flail]]
|8-15
|22 Muscle
|2-handed flail
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +3
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +2
*[[Combat Initiative]] +20%
|-
||[[25-meat staff]]
|7-14
|20 Muscle
|2-handed staff
| &nbsp;
|-
||[[flamingo mallet]]
|7-14
|20 Muscle
|2-handed club
|
*+4 to [[Monster Level]]
*+5% [[Meat from Monsters]]
|-
||[[Kentucky-fried meat crossbow]]
|7-14
|20 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
| [[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +5
|-
||[[Kentucky-fried meat staff]]
|7-14
|20 Muscle
|2-handed staff
| [[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +5
|-
||[[Kentucky-fried meat sword]]
|7-14
|20 Muscle
|2-handed sword
| [[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +5
|-
||[[repeating crossbow]]
|7-13
|17 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +2
*+15% [[Critical Hit Chance|Chance of Critical Hit]]
|-
||[[Totally Gay Claymore]]
|7-14
|19 Muscle
|2-handed sword
| A [[:Category:Custom Items|custom item]] given to [[PhilANThropiSt]]
|-
||[[accordion file]]
|6-12
|15 Moxie
|2-handed accordion
|
*Regenerate 2-4 [[MP Regeneration|MP]] per adventure
*Enables casting of 10-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[BRICKO sword]]
|6-12
|None
|2-handed club
|
*Part of the [[BRICKOfig Outfit]]
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +6
|-
||[[bubblewrap crossbow]]
|6-12
|15 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +3
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +2
|-
||[[bubblewrap staff]]
|6-12
|15 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +3
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +2
|-
||[[cardboard crossbow]]
|6-12
|15 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +3
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +3
|-
||[[cardboard staff]]
|6-12
|15 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +3
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +3
|-
||[[dense meat crossbow]]
|6-12
|15 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
| [[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +3
|-
||[[dense meat staff]]
|6-12
|15 Muscle
|2-handed staff
| [[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +3
|-
||[[dense meat sword]]
|6-12
|15 Muscle
|2-handed sword
| [[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +3
|-
||[[eXtreme meat crossbow]]
|6-12
|15 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
| [[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +7
|-
||[[eXtreme meat staff]]
|6-12
|15 Muscle
|2-handed staff
| [[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +7
|-
||[[eXtreme meat sword]]
|6-12
|15 Muscle
|2-handed sword
| [[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +7
|-
||[[glistening staff]]
|6-12
|15 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +2
*+3 {{element|Sleaze}}
|-
||[[Gnollish autoplunger]]
|6-12
|15 Muscle
|3-handed spear
| [[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +3
|-
||[[infernal fife]]
|6-11
|12 Moxie
|2-handed flute
|  +7 {{element|Hot}}
|-
||[[Knob Goblin elite polearm]]
|6-12
|15 Muscle
|2-handed polearm
|
*Part of the [[Knob Goblin Elite Guard Uniform]]
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +3
|-
||[[pair of bolt cutters]]
|6-12
|15 Muscle
|2-handed club
| [[Monster Level|Delevels]] on hit
|-
||[[poutine pole]]
|6-11
|12 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +3
*+3 {{element|Sleaze}}
|-
||[[slightly peevedbow]]
|6-12
|15 Moxie
|2-handed bow
| &nbsp;
|-
||[[styrofoam crossbow]]
|6-12
|15 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +3
*[[Monster Level]] +3
|-
||[[styrofoam staff]]
|6-12
|15 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +3
*[[Monster Level]] +3
|-
||[[wooden axe]]
|6-12
|15 Muscle
|2-handed axe
| [[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +3
|-
||[[astral bludgeon]]
|5-10
|None
|2-handed club
|
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +25%
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +20
*+15% [[Critical Hit Chance|Chance of Critical Hit]]
|-
||[[astral longbow]]
|5-10
|None
|2-handed bow
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +25%
*[[Bonus Ranged Damage|Ranged Damage]] +20
*+30% [[Meat from Monsters]]
|-
||[[Ax of L'rose]]
|5-10
|None
|2-handed axe
| &nbsp;
|-
||[[bal-musette accordion]]
|5-10
|None
|2-handed accordion
|
*+4 [[Extra PvP Fights|PvP fight(s)]] per day when equipped
*Enables casting of 10-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[Cajun accordion]]
|5-10
|None
|2-handed accordion
|
*Maximum [[HP Modifiers|HP]]/[[MP Modifiers|MP]] +15
*Enables casting of 10-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[deathchucks]]
|5-10
|10 Muscle
|2-handed flail
|
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +75%
*+15 to [[Monster Level]]
|-
||[[Disco Banjo]]
|5-10
|10 Moxie
|2-handed banjo
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +7
*+3 damage to DB combat skills
*[[Disco Bandit|DB]]'s [[Epic Weapons|Epic Weapon]]
*Bonus for [[Disco Bandit|DB]]s only
|-
||[[dripping meat crossbow]]
|5-10
|10 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
| [[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +2
|-
||[[dripping meat staff]]
|5-10
|10 Muscle
|2-handed staff
| [[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +2
|-
||[[gift-a-pult]]
|5-10
|None
|2-handed giftapult
| Allows hurling of Gift Items
|-
||[[guancertina]]
|5-10
|10 Moxie
|2-handed accordion
|
*+4 {{element|Stench}}
*Enables casting of 9-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[high-energy mining laser]]
|5-10
|None
|2-handed rifle
|
*Part of the [[High-Radiation Mining Gear]]
*2x chance of Fumble
*+20 Hot Damage
|-
||[[high-temperature mining drill]]
|5-10
|None
|2-handed drill
|
*Allows Mining in the Velvet / Gold Mine
|-
||[[inflatable baseball bat]]
|5-10
|None
|2-handed club
| [[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +30
|-
||[[office-supply crossbow]]
|5-10
|10 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +3
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Ranged Damage]] +3
|-
||[[quirky accordion]]
|5-10
|None
|2-handed accordion
|
*+5 to [[Monster Level]]
*Enables casting of 10-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[Red Rover BB gun]]
|5-10
|10 Moxie
|2-handed gun
|
*+15% [[Critical Hit Chance|Chance of Critical Hit]]
*On critical, either puts out your eye (All Attributes <font color=red>-10%</font>) or your opponent's
|-
||[[Rock and Roll Legend]]
|5-10
|10 Moxie
|2-handed accordion
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +7
*[[Accordion Thief|AT]]'s [[Epic Weapons|Epic Weapon]]
*Enables the casting of 10-turn AT buffs (all classes)
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[Skipper's accordion]]
|5-10
|10 Moxie
|2-handed accordion
|
*+10% Pickpocket Chance
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +15%
*Enables casting of 10-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[warbear exhaust manifold]]
|5-10
|None
|2-handed accordion
|
*+10 {{element|Stench}}
*Enables casting of 10-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for Accordion Thieves only
|-
||[[worm-riding hooks]]
|5-10
|None
|2-handed club
| &nbsp;
|-
||[[big bass drum]]
|4-7
|2 Moxie
|2-handed drum
|
*Maximum [[HP Modifiers|HP]] +20
*[[Damage Absorption]] +8
|-
||[[calavera concertina]]
|4-8
|5 Moxie
|2-handed accordion
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +3
*Enables casting of 7-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[dueling banjo]]
|4-8
|5 Moxie
|2-handed banjo
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +4
*+5 [[Monster Level]]
|-
||[[half-sized guitar]]
|4-8
|5 Moxie
|2-handed guitar
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +2
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Ranged Damage]] +4
|-
||[[mama's squeezebox]]
|4-8
|5 Moxie
|2-handed accordion
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +3
*Enables casting of 8-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[pocket theremin]]
|4-7
|2 Moxie
|2-handed theremin
|  +4 {{element|Spooky}}
|-
||[[pool cue]]
|4-8
|None
|2-handed staff
| [[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +3
|-
||[[rubber axe]]
|4-8
|5 Muscle
|2-handed axe
|  +2 {{element|Sleaze}}
|-
||[[spooky staff]]
|4-7
|2 Muscle
|2-handed staff
|
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +2
*+2 {{element|Spooky}}
|-
||[[starchy staff]]
|4-8
|5 Muscle
|2-handed staff
| [[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +3
|-
||[[weighted paperclip chain]]
|4-8
|None
|2-handed flail
| [[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +12
|-
||[[amok putter]]
|3-6
|None
|2-handed club
|
*+9 Hot Damage
*+9 Cold Damage
*Combat Initiative +18%
|-
||[[baritone accordion]]
|3-6
|None
|2-handed accordion
|
*Regenerate 2-4 [[HP Regeneration|HP]] per adventure
*Enables casting of 7-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[Barney's rake]]
|3-5
|None
|2-handed polearm
|
*+3 Spooky Damage
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +3
|-
||[[beer-soaked mop]]
|3-6
|None
|2-handed polearm
| +3 {{element|Sleaze}}
|-
||[[grave robbing shovel]]
|3-6
|None
|2-handed polearm
|
*+3 {{element|Spooky}}
*[[Combat Initiative]] <font color=red>-10%</font>
|-
||[[out-of-tune biwa]]
|3-6
|None
|2-handed guitar
| [[Bonus Weapon Damage|Ranged Damage]] +2
|-
||[[spooky stick]]
|3-6
|None
|2-handed staff
|  +2 {{element|Spooky}}
|-
||[[stone banjo]]
|3-5
|None
|2-handed banjo
| [[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +1
|-
||[[third-hand nunchaku]]
|3-6
|7 Muscle
|2-handed flail
| [[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +3
|-
||[[wooden stakes]]
|3-5
|None
|2-handed spear
| [[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +1
|-
||[[basic meat crossbow]]
|2-4
|5 Moxie
|2-handed crossbow
| [[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +1
|-
||[[basic meat staff]]
|2-4
|5 Muscle
|2-handed staff
| [[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +1
|-
||[[basic meat sword]]
|2-4
|5 Muscle
|2-handed sword
| [[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +1
|-
||[[beer-battered accordion]]
|2-4
|None
|2-handed accordion
|
*+2 Sleaze Damage
*(Bonus for Accordion Thieves only)
|-
||[[slingshot]]
|2-4
|None
|2-handed slingshot
| &nbsp;
|-
||[[soup-chucks]]
|2-3
|None
|2-handed flail
|  +2 {{element|Hot}}
|-
||[[antique accordion]]
|1-2
|None
|2-handed accordion
|
*Enables casting of 10-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs for all classes
|-
||[[archaeologing shovel]]
|1-2
|None
|2-handed polearm
| Allowed digging at [[Bigg's Dig]]
|-
||[[big stick]]
|1-2
|None
|2-handed staff
| &nbsp;
|-
||[[KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat]]
|1-2
|None
|2-handed club
|
*Maximum [[HP Modifiers|HP]] +10
*Maximum [[MP Modifiers|MP]] +10
*[[HP Regeneration|Regenerate]] 1-3 HP per adventure
*[[MP Regeneration|Regenerate]] 1-3 MP per adventure
*Cannot equip in [[Hardcore]]
|-
||[[stolen accordion]]
|1-2
|None
|2-handed accordion
|
*Enables casting of 5-turn [[Accordion Thief]] buffs
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
||[[toy accordion]]
|1-2
|None
|2-handed accordion
| Enables the casting of 5-turn AT buffs (all classes)
|-
||[[trash net]]
|1-2
|None
|2-handed polearm
|
*Quest item
|-
||[[Tales of the Word Realms]]
|0-0
|None
|2-handed book
| Lends Power to Your Words
|-
||[[gnollish nunchaku]]
|N/A
|None
|2-handed flail
| No longer available in game
|-
|}


 
{{EquipmentList}}
<TR ALIGN=center>
<TD>[[25-meat staff]]</TD>
<TD>70</TD>
<TD>20 Muscle</TD>
<TD>-</TD>
</TR>
 
 
 
{{EquipmentByPower}}


[[Category:Game Mechanics]]
[[Category:Game Mechanics]]
[[Category:Weapons| {{PAGENAME}}]]
[[Category:Weapons]]
[[Category:2-Handed Weapons| {{PAGENAME}}]]
[[Category:3-Handed Weapons| {{PAGENAME}}]]

Latest revision as of 16:39, 30 August 2016

[ Return to Game Mechanics ]

Two-handed weapons require two hands, which means Off-hand Items and Double-Fisted Skull Smashing cannot be used at the same time. Despite the name, three-handed weapons are treated exactly like two-handed weapons; the term is often applied to overcomplicated weapons, such as the ridiculously overelaborate ninja weapon and the ridiculously huge sword.

Name Damage Req Weapon
Type
Notes
Great Wolf's rocket launcher 30-60 100 Moxie 2-handed bazooka
Unkillable Skeleton's restless leg 30-60 100 Muscle 2-handed staff
Unkillable Skeleton's sawsword 30-60 100 Muscle 2-handed sword
bag of unfinished business 23-45 200 Moxie 2-handed doggie bag
  • +40 Stench Damage
  • +5 to Familiar Weight
Bigger Bugfinder Blade 20-40 85 Muscle 2-handed sword
  • All Attributes +11
  • Awarded to people who find major bugs or a lot of bugs
bindlestocking 20-40 200 Muscle 2-handed polearm
Bloodbath 20-40 200 Muscle 2-handed sword
  • So-So Resistance to All Elements (+2)
  • Regenerate 25-30 HP and MP per adventure
Chester's bag of candy 20-40 200 Moxie 2-handed ranged weapon
Coily™ 20-40 200 Moxie 2-handed spring
cozy bazooka 20-40 85 Moxie 2-handed bazooka
  • Moxie +15%
  • +20% Meat from Monsters
  • Makes you a much better diver
cozy scimitar 20-40 85 Muscle 2-handed sword
decaying wooden oar 20-40 85 Muscle 2-handed club  
El Vibrato energy spear 20-40 200 Muscle 2-handed spear
FDKOL fire hose 20-40 85 Moxie 2-handed hose +200 Cold Damage
fetus-smashing club 20-40 85 Muscle 2-handed club A custom item given to Bashy
fire axe 20-40 85 Muscle 2-handed axe +200 Cold Damage
fish bazooka 20-40 85 Moxie 2-handed bazooka
fish stick 20-40 85 Muscle 2-handed staff
flamin' bindle 20-40 200 Muscle 2-handed polearm
freezin' bindle 20-40 200 Muscle 2-handed polearm
Frosty's nailbat 20-40 200 Muscle 2-handed club
giant fishhook 20-40 85 Moxie 2-handed spear  
giant shrimp fork 20-40 85 Muscle 2-handed staff
  • Mysticality +20%
  • +10% Chance of Spell Critical Hit
  • Maximum MP +100
giant turkey leg 20-40 200 Muscle 3-handed club
Ginsu™ 20-40 200 Muscle 2-handed sword
halibut 20-40 85 Muscle 2-handed fish
Meatcleaver 20-40 200 Muscle 2-handed sword
Mer-kin digpick 20-40 85 Muscle 2-handed axe
Mer-kin dodgeball 20-40 85 Moxie 2-handed dodgeball
Mer-kin dragnet 20-40 85 Muscle 2-handed dragnet
Mer-kin switchblade 20-40 85 Muscle 2-handed switchblade
miniature deck cannon 20-40 85 Moxie 2-handed handcannon
non-stick pugil stick 20-40 85 Muscle 2-handed club
Ol' Scratch's infernal pitchfork 20-40 200 Muscle 2-handed polearm
PVC staff 20-40 85 Muscle 2-handed staff
rusty staff 20-40 85 Mysticality 2-handed staff
Seeger's Unstoppable Banjo 20-40 60 Moxie 2-handed banjo
skate board 20-40 85 Muscle 2-handed club
sleazy bindle 20-40 200 Muscle 2-handed polearm
slime-covered shovel 20-40 200 Muscle 2-handed polearm
slime-covered staff 20-40 200 Mysticality 2-handed staff
spooky bindle 20-40 200 Muscle 2-handed polearm
stinkin' bindle 20-40 200 Muscle 2-handed polearm
Sword of Procedural Generation 20-40 200 Muscle 2-handed sword
  • Varies player to player
The Trickster's Trikitixa 20-40 60 Moxie 2-handed accordion
triple barreled barrel gun 20-40 85 Moxie 3-handed shotgun
  • Weapon Damage +100%
  • +10% Chance of Critical Hit
  • +25% Meat from Monsters
Underworld flail 20-40 150 Moxie 2-handed flail
Underworld truncheon 20-40 150 Muscle 2-handed club
villainous scythe 20-40 150 Muscle 2-handed polearm
Zim Merman's guitar 20-40 85 Moxie 2-handed guitar Ranged Damage +20
Zombo's shoulder blade 20-40 200 Muscle 2-handed sword
beer-a-pult 19-38 80 Moxie 3-handed catapult
cast-iron legacy paddle 19-38 80 Muscle 2-handed club
fire poi 19-38 80 Moxie 2-handed flail
giant driftwood sculpture 19-38 80 Muscle 2-handed flail
massive sitar 19-38 80 Moxie 2-handed sitar
alarm accordion 18-36 75 Moxie 2-handed accordion
Bugfinder Blade 18-36 75 Muscle 2-handed sword
  • All Attributes +7
  • Awarded to people who find a few bugs
didgeridooka 18-36 75 Moxie 2-handed heavy blowgun Moxie +9
perforated battle paddle 18-35 72 Muscle 2-handed club Weapon Damage +10
plexiglass pikestaff 18-36 75 Muscle 2-handed club
charming flute 17-34 70 Moxie 2-handed flute
denim axe 17-34 70 Muscle 2-handed axe
Drowsy Sword 17-34 66 Muscle 2-handed sword
peace accordion 17-34 70 Moxie 2-handed accordion
star crossbow 17-33 67 Moxie 2-handed crossbow Moxie +8
star staff 17-33 67 Muscle 2-handed staff Mysticality +8
star sword 17-33 67 Muscle 2-handed sword Muscle +8
accordionoid rocca 16-32 65 Moxie 2-handed accordion
  • Damage Reduction: 10 (First Hit Only)
  • Enables casting of 18-turn Accordion Thief buffs
  • Bonus for ATs only
arse-shooting crossbow 16-32 65 Moxie 2-handed crossbow
coal shovel 16-32 65 Muscle 2-handed polearm
creepy-ass club 16-32 65 Muscle 2-handed club
cyber-mattock 16-32 65 Muscle 2-handed axe
evil-ass club 16-32 65 Muscle 2-handed club
frigid-ass club 16-32 65 Muscle 2-handed club
giant discarded plastic fork 16-31 62 Muscle 3-handed staff
heavy metal thunderrr guitarrr 16-32 65 Moxie 2-handed axe Weapon Damage +16
hot-ass club 16-32 65 Muscle 2-handed club
jungle drum 16-32 65 Moxie 2-handed drum
magilaser blastercannon 16-31 62 Moxie 2-handed laser cannon
nasty-ass club 16-32 65 Muscle 2-handed club
pewter claymore 16-31 62 Muscle 2-handed sword Regenerate 6-12 HP and MP per adventure
tommy gun 16-32 65 Moxie 2-handed rifle
a butt tuba 15-29 57 Moxie 2-handed horn +15 Sleaze Damage
automatic catapult 15-30 60 Moxie 2-handed autopult  
backwoods banjo 15-30 50 Moxie 2-handed banjo
bill bec-de-bardiche glaive-guisarme 15-30 60 Muscle 2-handed polearm?  
bugbear-smiting sword 15-30 60 Muscle 2-handed sword
C.B.F.G. 15-30 60 Moxie 2-handed rifle
double barreled barrel gun 15-30 60 Moxie 2-handed shotgun
drywall axe 15-30 60 Muscle 2-handed axe
  • All Attributes +2
  • All Attributes +3%
giant needle 15-30 60 Muscle 2-handed spear Monster Level +5
mercenary rifle 15-30 30 Moxie 2-handed rifle
  • Ranged Damage +20
  • Combat Initiative +50%
  • Allows the Use of Specialty Ammunition
Radio Free Foil 15-30 60 Muscle 2-handed sword
toxic mop 15-30 50 Muscle 2-handed polearm
acoustic guitarrr 14-28 55 Moxie 2-handed guitar +8% Meat from Monsters
armgun 14-28 55 Moxie 2-handed machine gun
black kettle drum 14-28 55 Moxie 2-handed drum
carob cannon 14-27 45 Moxie 2-handed crossbow
ghost accordion 14-28 55 Moxie 2-handed accordion
  • +5 Spooky Damage
  • +15% Booze Drops from Monsters
  • Enables casting of 16-turn Accordion Thief buffs
  • Bonus for ATs only
hairy staff 14-27 45 Muscle 2-handed staff
ram-battering staff 14-27 52 Muscle 2-handed staff
ridiculously huge sword 14-28 55 Muscle 3-handed sword
Spirit Precipice 14-27 45 Muscle 2-handed sword
autocalliope 13-26 50 Moxie 2-handed accordion
bad-ass club 13-26 50 Muscle 2-handed club
ga-ga radio 13-25 47 Moxie 2-handed radio
Grimacite glaive 13-25 47 Muscle 2-handed polearm
hand-carved bow 13-26 30 Moxie 2-handed bow
hand-carved staff 13-26 30 Muscle 2-handed staff
hot cross bow 13-26 45 Moxie 2-handed crossbow
lucky ball-and-chain 13-26 50 Moxie 2-handed flail  
meatspout staff 13-25 45 Muscle 2-handed staff
projectile icemaker 13-25 45 Moxie 2-handed crossbow
shuddersword 13-25 45 Muscle 2-handed sword
smoldering staff 13-25 45 Muscle 2-handed staff
staph of homophones 13-26 45 Muscle 2-handed staff
sword behind inappropriate prepositions 13-26 45 Muscle 2-handed sword
asbestos sword 12-24 45 Muscle 2-handed sword
bone and arrows 12-24 45 Moxie 2-handed bow +30 Damage vs. Skeletons
buffalo blade 12-24 45 Muscle 2-handed sword
chrome crossbow 12-24 45 Moxie 2-handed crossbow
giant cheesestick 12-24 45 Muscle 2-handed staff
lawnmower blade 12-24 45 Muscle 2-handed sword Weapon Damage +15
linoleum staff 12-24 45 Muscle 2-handed staff
non-Euclidean non-accordion 12-23 42 Moxie 2-handed accordion
ocarina of space 12-24 45 Moxie 2-handed flute
ram stick 12-23 42 Muscle 2-handed staff Moxie +5
two-handed depthsword 12-24 45 Muscle 2-handed sword  
Accordion of Jordion 11-21 37 Moxie 2-handed accordion
asbestos crossbow 11-22 40 Moxie 2-handed crossbow
bone flute 11-22 40 Moxie 2-handed flute +11 Spooky Damage
chrome staff 11-22 40 Muscle 2-handed staff
linoleum sword 11-22 40 Muscle 2-handed sword
sack of doorknobs 11-22 40 Moxie 2-handed sack  
asbestos staff 10-20 35 Muscle 2-handed staff
big stirring stick 10-20 35 Muscle 2-handed staff
bounty-hunting rifle 10-20 25 Moxie 2-handed rifle
bow staff 10-20 35 Muscle 2-handed staff
chrome sword 10-20 35 Muscle 2-handed sword
Crimbo sword 10-20 35 Muscle 2-handed sword
Crimbomination Contraption 10-20 None 2-handed club  
depleted Grimacite hammer 10-20 35 Muscle 2-handed club
giant candy cane 10-20 None 2-handed staff
goulauncher 10-20 35 Moxie 2-handed crossbow
The Landscaper's leafblower 10-20 35 Moxie 2-handed leafblower +1-25 Monster Level based on number of combats with leafblower equipped
linoleum crossbow 10-20 35 Moxie 2-handed crossbow
Loathing Legion chainsaw 10-20 None 2-handed chainsaw
Loathing Legion flamethrower 10-20 None 2-handed flamethrower
Moonthril Flamberge 10-20 40 Muscle 2-handed sword
Moonthril Longbow 10-20 40 Moxie 2-handed bow
plastic nunchaku 10-20 10 Muscle 2-handed flail
Rain-Doh violet bo 10-20 None 2-handed staff
  • +11 Sleaze Damage
  • Moxie +11
plastic guitar 10-20 35 Moxie 2-handed guitar
ridiculously overelaborate ninja weapon 10-20 35 Muscle 3-handed ...weapon
Shakespeare's Sister's Accordion 10-20 None 2-handed accordion
snow shovel 10-20 None 2-handed polearm
soylent staff 10-20 35 Muscle 2-handed staff
Staff of Fats 10-20 35 Mysticality 2-handed staff
  • +5 Pool Skill
Staff of Fats (Actually Ed the Undying) 10-20 35 Mysticality 2-handed staff
  • +5 Pool Skill
sugar shillelagh 10-20 None 2-handed club
Super Crimboman Ultra Mega Hypersword 10-20 35 Muscle 2-handed sword Prismatic Damage +5
tin drum 10-20 None 2-handed drum
Trusty 10-20 None 2-handed axe
  • Quest item in AoB run
foot-long hot daub 9-17 27 Muscle 2-handed club
icy-hot katana 9-18 30 Muscle 2-handed sword
ninja mop 9-18 30 Muscle 2-handed polearm Weapon Damage +5
pentatonic accordion 9-18 30 Moxie 2-handed accordion
Shagadelic Disco Banjo 9-18 15 Moxie 2-handed banjo
Squeezebox of the Ages 9-18 15 Moxie 2-handed accordion
4-dimensional guitar 8-16 50 Moxie 2-handed guitar
7-Foot Dwarven mattock 8-16 25 Muscle 2-handed axe
boilgun 8-16 25 Moxie 2-handed rifle
bone bandoneon 8-16 25 Moxie 2-handed accordion
bubble bauble bow 8-16 25 Moxie 2-handed bow
can cannon 8-15 22 Moxie 2-handed crossbow
clockwork staff 8-16 25 Mysticality 2-handed staff
clockwork sword 8-16 25 Muscle 2-handed sword
Crimbo ukulele 8-16 20 Moxie 2-handed guitar +10% Items from Monsters
crowbarrr 8-16 25 Muscle 2-handed staff Combat Initiative +15%
elephant stinger 8-15 22 Muscle 2-handed spear
flypaper staff 8-16 25 Muscle 2-handed staff
frigid hankyū 8-16 25 Moxie 2-handed bow
frozen nunchaku 8-16 25 Muscle 2-handed flail
giant spider leg 8-15 22 Muscle 2-handed club
goblin autoblowgun 8-16 25 Moxie 2-handed blowgun
goblin hunting spear 8-16 25 Muscle 2-handed spear
rib of the Bonerdagon 8-16 25 Muscle 2-handed staff
rusty grave robbing shovel 8-16 25 Muscle 2-handed polearm
savory crossbow 8-16 25 Moxie 2-handed crossbow Moxie +4
savory staff 8-16 25 Muscle 2-handed staff Mysticality +4
squeaky staff 8-15 22 Muscle 2-handed staff
wholeberd 8-16 25 Muscle 2-handed polearm Weapon Damage +6
wiffle-flail 8-15 22 Muscle 2-handed flail
25-meat staff 7-14 20 Muscle 2-handed staff  
flamingo mallet 7-14 20 Muscle 2-handed club
Kentucky-fried meat crossbow 7-14 20 Moxie 2-handed crossbow Moxie +5
Kentucky-fried meat staff 7-14 20 Muscle 2-handed staff Mysticality +5
Kentucky-fried meat sword 7-14 20 Muscle 2-handed sword Muscle +5
repeating crossbow 7-13 17 Moxie 2-handed crossbow
Totally Gay Claymore 7-14 19 Muscle 2-handed sword A custom item given to PhilANThropiSt
accordion file 6-12 15 Moxie 2-handed accordion
BRICKO sword 6-12 None 2-handed club
bubblewrap crossbow 6-12 15 Moxie 2-handed crossbow
bubblewrap staff 6-12 15 Muscle 2-handed staff
cardboard crossbow 6-12 15 Moxie 2-handed crossbow
cardboard staff 6-12 15 Muscle 2-handed staff
dense meat crossbow 6-12 15 Moxie 2-handed crossbow Moxie +3
dense meat staff 6-12 15 Muscle 2-handed staff Mysticality +3
dense meat sword 6-12 15 Muscle 2-handed sword Muscle +3
eXtreme meat crossbow 6-12 15 Moxie 2-handed crossbow Moxie +7
eXtreme meat staff 6-12 15 Muscle 2-handed staff Mysticality +7
eXtreme meat sword 6-12 15 Muscle 2-handed sword Muscle +7
glistening staff 6-12 15 Muscle 2-handed staff
Gnollish autoplunger 6-12 15 Muscle 3-handed spear Mysticality +3
infernal fife 6-11 12 Moxie 2-handed flute +7 Hot Damage
Knob Goblin elite polearm 6-12 15 Muscle 2-handed polearm
pair of bolt cutters 6-12 15 Muscle 2-handed club Delevels on hit
poutine pole 6-11 12 Muscle 2-handed staff
slightly peevedbow 6-12 15 Moxie 2-handed bow  
styrofoam crossbow 6-12 15 Moxie 2-handed crossbow
styrofoam staff 6-12 15 Muscle 2-handed staff
wooden axe 6-12 15 Muscle 2-handed axe Muscle +3
astral bludgeon 5-10 None 2-handed club
astral longbow 5-10 None 2-handed bow
Ax of L'rose 5-10 None 2-handed axe  
bal-musette accordion 5-10 None 2-handed accordion
Cajun accordion 5-10 None 2-handed accordion
deathchucks 5-10 10 Muscle 2-handed flail
Disco Banjo 5-10 10 Moxie 2-handed banjo
dripping meat crossbow 5-10 10 Moxie 2-handed crossbow Moxie +2
dripping meat staff 5-10 10 Muscle 2-handed staff Mysticality +2
gift-a-pult 5-10 None 2-handed giftapult Allows hurling of Gift Items
guancertina 5-10 10 Moxie 2-handed accordion
high-energy mining laser 5-10 None 2-handed rifle
high-temperature mining drill 5-10 None 2-handed drill
  • Allows Mining in the Velvet / Gold Mine
inflatable baseball bat 5-10 None 2-handed club Weapon Damage +30
office-supply crossbow 5-10 10 Moxie 2-handed crossbow
quirky accordion 5-10 None 2-handed accordion
Red Rover BB gun 5-10 10 Moxie 2-handed gun
Rock and Roll Legend 5-10 10 Moxie 2-handed accordion
Skipper's accordion 5-10 10 Moxie 2-handed accordion
warbear exhaust manifold 5-10 None 2-handed accordion
worm-riding hooks 5-10 None 2-handed club  
big bass drum 4-7 2 Moxie 2-handed drum
calavera concertina 4-8 5 Moxie 2-handed accordion
dueling banjo 4-8 5 Moxie 2-handed banjo
half-sized guitar 4-8 5 Moxie 2-handed guitar
mama's squeezebox 4-8 5 Moxie 2-handed accordion
pocket theremin 4-7 2 Moxie 2-handed theremin +4 Spooky Damage
pool cue 4-8 None 2-handed staff Moxie +3
rubber axe 4-8 5 Muscle 2-handed axe +2 Sleaze Damage
spooky staff 4-7 2 Muscle 2-handed staff
starchy staff 4-8 5 Muscle 2-handed staff Mysticality +3
weighted paperclip chain 4-8 None 2-handed flail Weapon Damage +12
amok putter 3-6 None 2-handed club
  • +9 Hot Damage
  • +9 Cold Damage
  • Combat Initiative +18%
baritone accordion 3-6 None 2-handed accordion
Barney's rake 3-5 None 2-handed polearm
beer-soaked mop 3-6 None 2-handed polearm +3 Sleaze Damage
grave robbing shovel 3-6 None 2-handed polearm
out-of-tune biwa 3-6 None 2-handed guitar Ranged Damage +2
spooky stick 3-6 None 2-handed staff +2 Spooky Damage
stone banjo 3-5 None 2-handed banjo Moxie +1
third-hand nunchaku 3-6 7 Muscle 2-handed flail Weapon Damage +3
wooden stakes 3-5 None 2-handed spear Weapon Damage +1
basic meat crossbow 2-4 5 Moxie 2-handed crossbow Moxie +1
basic meat staff 2-4 5 Muscle 2-handed staff Mysticality +1
basic meat sword 2-4 5 Muscle 2-handed sword Muscle +1
beer-battered accordion 2-4 None 2-handed accordion
  • +2 Sleaze Damage
  • (Bonus for Accordion Thieves only)
slingshot 2-4 None 2-handed slingshot  
soup-chucks 2-3 None 2-handed flail +2 Hot Damage
antique accordion 1-2 None 2-handed accordion
archaeologing shovel 1-2 None 2-handed polearm Allowed digging at Bigg's Dig
big stick 1-2 None 2-handed staff  
KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat 1-2 None 2-handed club
stolen accordion 1-2 None 2-handed accordion
toy accordion 1-2 None 2-handed accordion Enables the casting of 5-turn AT buffs (all classes)
trash net 1-2 None 2-handed polearm
  • Quest item
Tales of the Word Realms 0-0 None 2-handed book Lends Power to Your Words
gnollish nunchaku N/A None 2-handed flail No longer available in game
Equipment Lists
Hats | Shirts | Back Items | Off-hand Items | Pants | Accessories | Familiar Equipment
Weapons (Melee | Mysticality | Ranged | One-Handed | Two-handed / Three-handed)