Weapons (by requirement)

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Weapons are things adventurers use to hurt monsters, rocks, grass, small children, air, each other, and whatever else happens to get in their line of fire.

All crossbows, slingshots, banjos, guitars, pistols, and accordions are ranged weapons. All other items are considered melee weapons unless otherwise noted.

If you're clumsy, you may fumble your weapon on some part of your body. Not only does this hurt, it allows your opponent to get a free hit on you. Which also hurts. And let's face it: everyone's a little clumsy.

Melee weapons (Muscle)

Name	Power	Requirements	Weapon Type	Notes
antique spear	200	85 Muscle	1-handed polearm	Combat Initiative -30% Successful hit weakens opponent Occasionally breaks Part of the Antique Arms And Armor outfit Pulverizes into useless powder
Bigger Bugfinder Blade	200	85 Muscle	2-handed sword	All Attributes +11 Awarded to people who find a lot of bugs, or major ones
fetus-smashing club	200	85 Muscle	2-handed club	Custom item given to Bashy.
duct tape sword	195	82 Muscle	1-handed sword	Damage Absorption +40 +5% Items from Monsters Part of the Tapered Threads outfit
cast-iron legacy paddle	190	80 Muscle	2-handed club	Muscle +15 Melee Damage +10
giant driftwood sculpture	190	80 Muscle	2-handed flail	Moxie +8 Melee Damage +15
Bugfinder Blade	180	75 Muscle	2-handed sword	All Attributes +7 Awarded to people who find a few bugs
goatskin umbrella	180	75 Muscle	1-handed umbrella	+15 Stench Damage
plexiglass pike pike	180	75 Muscle	2-handed spear	Melee Damage +25 +10 PvP fight(s) per day +30% Muscle Hardcore Oxygenarian Ascension Reward
lead pipe	175	72 Muscle	1-handed club	Muscle +6 Mysticality +6
perforated battle paddle	175	72 Muscle	2-handed club	Melee Damage +10
denim axe	170	70 Muscle	2-handed axe	Muscle +10 Melee Damage +10
giant foam finger	170	70 Muscle	1-handed club	Damage Reduction: 3
Maxwell's Silver Hammer	165	67 Muscle	1-handed club	Mysticality +10 Melee Damage +10
pygmy spear	165	67 Muscle	1-handed spear	Muscle +7
star staff	165	67 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +8
star sword	165	67 Muscle	2-handed sword	Muscle +8
Drowsy Sword	171	66 Muscle	2-handed sword	Successful hit weakens opponent Monster Level -10
black sword	160	65 Muscle	1-handed sword	3x chance of Critical Hit Melee Damage +7
giant cactus quill	160	65 Muscle	1-handed spear	3x chance of Critical Hit Maximum HP +30
pointed stick	160	65 Muscle	1-handed spear	2x Critical Hit Chance Melee Damage +10
giant discarded plastic fork	155	62 Muscle	3-handed staff	2x chance of Critical Hit Combat Initiative -10%
bill bec-de-bardiche glaive-guisarme	150	60 Muscle	2-handed polearm?	-
bugbear-smiting sword	150	60 Muscle	2-handed sword	Melee Damage +10 Muscle +10 Custom item given to Spazworrier.
drywall axe	150	60 Muscle	2-handed axe	All Attributes +2 All Attributes +3%
giant needle	150	60 Muscle	2-handed spear	+5 to Monster Level
heteroerotic frat-paddle	150	60 Muscle	1-handed sword	Custom item given to Mr Skullhead.
Radio Free Foil	150	60 Muscle	2-handed sword	Intrinsic effect:Shiny Happy Weapon Radio KoL contest prize
batblade	145	57 Muscle	1-handed knife	Melee Damage +15
ridiculously huge sword	140	55 Muscle	3-handed sword	Melee Damage +12 Muscle +4
broken sword	135	52 Muscle	1-handed sword	Slight Spooky Resistance
ram-battering staff	135	52 Muscle	2-handed staff	+10 Damage to Hot Spells Moxie +5
star stiletto	135	52 Muscle	1-handed dagger	Muscle +5
titanium assault umbrella	130	50 Muscle	1-handed umbrella	Slight Resistance to All Elements
Grimacite glaive	125	47 Muscle	2-handed polearm	Melee Damage +15 Muscle +0-50% (most when Grimace and the mini-moon are dark)
pitchfork	125	47 Muscle	1-handed spear	Melee Damage +9
asbestos sword	120	45 Muscle	2-handed sword	Muscle +7 Mysticality +5
buffalo blade	120	45 Muscle	2-handed sword	Muscle +5 +3 Hot Damage +2 Sleaze Damage
giant cheesestick	120	45 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +5 +11 Damage to Sleaze Spells
hairy staff	135	45 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7 Spell Damage +7 Regenerate 5-7 MP per adventure
linoleum staff	120	45 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7 Spell Damage +7
meatspout staff	125	45 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7 +3 Adventure(s) per day when equipped. +15% Meat from Monsters
Spirit Precipice	135	45 Muscle	2-handed sword	Muscle +7 Mysticality +5 5x chance of Critical Hit
shuddersword	125	45 Muscle	2-handed sword	Muscle +7 Spell Damage +7 +5 Spooky Damage
smoldering staff	125	45 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7 Moxie +5 +11 Damage to Stench Spells
sword behind inappropriate prepositions	130	45 Muscle	2-handed sword	Muscle +7 +5 Adventure(s) per day when equipped.
two-handed depthsword	120	45 Muscle	2-handed sword	-
lupine sword	115	42 Muscle	1-handed sword	+9 Spooky Damage
ram stick	115	42 Muscle	2-handed staff	Moxie +5
serpentine sword	115	42 Muscle	1-handed sword	+10 to Monster Level (+20 with snake shield equipped)
chrome staff	110	40 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7 +3 Adventure(s) per day when equipped.
linoleum sword	110	40 Muscle	2-handed sword	Muscle +7 Spell Damage +7
asbestos staff	100	35 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7 Moxie +5
bamboo bokuto	100	35 Muscle	1-handed sword	-
bow staff	100	35 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +5 Melee Damage +3
chrome sword	100	35 Muscle	2-handed sword	Muscle +7 +3 Adventure(s) per day when equipped.
Crimbo sword	100	35 Muscle	2-handed sword	Melee Damage +5
duck-on-a-string	100	35 Muscle	1-handed flail	Melee Damage +5 +5% Item Drops from Monsters
Mafia violin case	100	35 Muscle	1-handed club	Muscle +20 Melee Damage +30 Prize from the Penguin Mafia Mystery Raffle
ridiculously overelaborate ninja weapon	100	35 Muscle	3-handed ...weapon	3x chance of Critical Hit 3x chance of Fumble
soylent staff	100	35 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +4 Spell Damage +10
spiked femur	100	35 Muscle	1-handed club	+6 Spooky Damage
Super Magic Power Sword X	100	35 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +4 Combat Initiative +20% 2x chance of Critical Hit
time sword	100	35 Muscle	1-handed sword	+3 Adventure(s) per day when equipped.
Tropical Crimbo Sword	100	35 Muscle	1-handed sword	Melee Damage +5
vampire duck-on-a-string	100	35 Muscle	1-handed flail	Melee Damage +5 +5% Item Drops from Monsters
Brimstone Bludgeon	200	30 Muscle	1-handed club	Muscle +50% Mysticality -20% Melee Damage +30
icy-hot katana	90	30 Muscle	2-handed sword	+3 Hot Damage +3 Cold Damage
kneecapping stick	90	30 Muscle	1-handed club	3x chance of Critical Hit
ninja mop	90	30 Muscle	2-handed polearm	Melee Damage +5
stainless steel shillelagh	90	30 Muscle	1-handed club	Melee Damage +20 4x chance of Critical Hit Muscle +15% Hardcore Ascension Reward
vorpal blade	90	30 Muscle	1-handed sword	2x chance of Critical Hit
7-Foot Dwarven mattock	80	25 Muscle	2-handed axe	Successful hit weakens opponent
clockwork sword	80	25 Muscle	2-handed sword	Melee Damage +10 3x chance of Critical Hit Heals 3-24 HP on Critical Hit
crazy bastard sword	125	25 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +10 Melee Damage +15 3x chance of Critical Hit Ultra Rare
crowbarrr	80	25 Muscle	2-handed staff	Combat Initiative +15%
frozen nunchaku	80	25 Muscle	2-handed flail	Melee Damage +3 +3 Cold Damage
grass blade	80	25 Muscle	1-handed sword	Melee Damage +5
Kentucky-fried meat staff	80	25 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +5
Kentucky-fried meat sword	80	25 Muscle	2-handed sword	Muscle +5
rib of the Bonerdagon	80	25 Muscle	2-handed staff	Muscle +5 Mysticality +5 Spell Damage +15
rusty grave robbing shovel	80	25 Muscle	2-handed polearm	+5 Spooky Damage Combat Initiative -10%
savory staff	80	25 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +4
savory sword	80	25 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +4
spooky bicycle chain	80	25 Muscle	1-handed whip	+5 Spooky Damage 2x chance of Critical Hit
wholeberd	80	25 Muscle	2-handed polearm	Melee Damage +6
squeaky staff	75	22 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3 +6 to Monster Level
sword of static	75	22 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 Moxie +2 Regenerate 2-4 MP per adventure
wiffle-flail	75	22 Muscle	2-handed flail	Mysticality +3 Muscle +2 Combat Initiative +20%
25-meat staff	70	20 Muscle	2-handed staff	-
flaming cardboard sword	70	20 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 Melee Damage +3 +3 Hot Damage
flypaper staff	80	20 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3 Melee Damage +3 +3 Spooky Damage
Frost™ brand sword	70	20 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 +3 to Monster Level +3 Cold Damage
homoerotic frat-paddle	70	20 Muscle	1-handed club	+4 Sleaze Damage
Totally Gay Claymore	69	19 Muscle	2-handed sword	Custom item given to PhilANThropiSt.
bubblewrap staff	60	15 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3 Muscle +2
bubblewrap sword	60	15 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 Mysticality +2
cardboard staff	60	15 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3 Melee Damage +3
cardboard sword	60	15 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 Melee Damage +3
Chelonian Morningstar	90	15 Muscle	1-handed flail	Muscle +11 Never Fumble Turtle Tamer's Legendary Epic Weapon Allows for the casting of 15-turn TT buffs
dense meat staff	60	15 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3
dense meat sword	60	15 Muscle	2-handed sword	Muscle +3
diamond-studded cane	60	15 Muscle	1-handed club	Moxie +5 (Disco Bandits only)
eXtreme meat staff	60	15 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7
eXtreme meat sword	60	15 Muscle	2-handed sword	Muscle +7
flaming crutch	60	15 Muscle	1-handed club	+3 Hot Damage
glistening staff	60	15 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +2 +3 Sleaze Damage
Gnollish autoplunger	60	15 Muscle	3-handed spear	Mysticality +3
Hammer of Smiting	90	15 Muscle	1-handed club	Muscle +16 3x Critical Hit Chance Seal Clubber's Legendary Epic Weapon
Knob Goblin elite polearm	60	15 Muscle	2-handed polearm	Melee Damage +3
muculent machete	60	15 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +2 +5% Meat from Monsters
sabre teeth	60	15 Muscle	1-handed knife	Melee Damage +4
styrofoam staff	60	15 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3 +3 to Monster Level
styrofoam sword	60	15 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 +3 to Monster Level
wooden axe	60	15 Muscle	2-handed axe	Muscle +3
poutine pole	55	12 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3 +3 Sleaze Damage
balloon sword	50	10 Muscle	1-handed sword	Never Fumble Melee Damage -2
Bjorn's Hammer	50	10 Muscle	1-handed club	Muscle +7 (Seal Clubbers only)
dripping meat staff	50	10 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3
dripping meat sword	50	10 Muscle	2-handed sword	Muscle +3
Mace of the Tortoise	50	10 Muscle	1-handed mace	Muscle +7 (TT only) Turtle Tamer's Epic Weapon Allows for the casting of 10-turn TT buffs
obsidian dagger	30	10 Muscle	1-handed knife	+3 Spooky Damage +3 Stench Damage +3 Hot Damage +3 Cold Damage +3 Sleaze Damage
pixel sword	50	10 Muscle	1-handed sword	Combat Initiative +15%
pestoblade	50	10 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 +3 Stench Damage
Unionize The Elves sign	50	10 Muscle	1-handed club	Successful hit weakens opponent
Gnollish nunchaku	45	7 Muscle	2-handed flail	Melee Damage +4
basic meat staff	20	5 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +1
basic meat sword	20	5 Muscle	2-handed sword	Muscle +1
dreadlock whip	40	5 Muscle	1-handed whip	+5 Stench Damage +5 Sleaze Damage Monster Level +10
pool cue	40		2-handed staff	Moxie +3
rubber axe	40	5 Muscle	2-handed axe	+2 Sleaze Damage
starchy staff	40	5 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3
starchy sword	40	5 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +3
suede shortsword	40	5 Muscle	1-handed sword	-
white sword	40	5 Muscle	1-handed sword	Muscle +2
Dr. Hobo's scalpel	35	2 Muscle	1-handed knife	Melee Damage +3 +1 Stench Damage
Gnollish flyswatter	35	2 Muscle	1-handed club	-
Gnollish plunger	35	2 Muscle	1-handed spear	-
spooky staff	35	2 Muscle	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3 +2 Spooky Damage
asparagus knife	15	-	1-handed knife	+1 Stench Damage
bar whip	10	-	1-handed whip	+2 to Familiar Weight
bat whip	30	-	1-handed whip	Spell Damage +10 Monster Level +5
big stick	10	-	2-handed staff	-
bucket of anniversary lard	10	-	1-handed flail	All Attributes +1 A gift to players on their fourth year KoL anniversary
cardboard katana	30	-	1-handed sword	Melee Damage +3
cardboard wakizashi	30	-	1-handed sword	Damage Reduction: 2
chisel	10	-	1-handed knife	-
Cloaca-Cola-issue combat knife	30	-	1-handed knife	Drains MP on Successful Hit
clown hammer	10	-	1-handed club	Changes Sound Effects
clown whip	10	-	1-handed whip	So-So Sleaze Resistance
cool whip	10	-	1-handed whip	-
demon whip	10	-	1-handed whip	+3 Hot Damage +3 Sleaze Damage +3 Stench Damage
dishrag	20	-	1-handed whip	+3 Stench Damage
gnauga hide whip	20	-	1-handed whip	+3% Item Drops from Monsters
grave robbing shovel	30	-	2-handed polearm	+3 Spooky Damage Combat Initiative -10%
halfberd	30	-	1-handed polearm	Melee Damage +2
hippo whip	20	-	1-handed whip	+10 to Monster Level
huge mirror shard	30	-	1-handed knife	Melee Damage +5
ice sickle	100		1-handed scythe	+15 to Monster Level +5 Cold Damage
Knob Goblin scimitar	15	-	1-handed sword	Muscle +1
little paper umbrella	30	-	1-handed umbrella	Spell Damage +1
palm-frond whip	25	-	1-handed whip	Melee Damage +30
penguin whip	20	-	1-handed whip	+3% Meat from Monsters
rattail whip	30	-	1-handed whip	Moxie +5 Monster Level +5
saucepan	10	-	1-handed saucepan	Allows for the casting of 5-turn Sauceror buffs
scorpion whip	20	-	1-handed whip	Melee Damage +13 50% chance of poisoning opponent
seal-clubbing club	10	-	1-handed club	-
skeleton bone	30	-	1-handed club	+1 Spooky Damage
spooky stick	30	-	2-handed staff	+2 Spooky Damage
sweet ninja sword	20	-	1-handed sword	-
tail o' nine cats	30	-	1-handed whip	Combat Initiative +15% Monster Level +5
tiny ninja sword	20	-	1-handed sword	Moxie +1
tiny plastic sword	10	-	1-handed sword	Moxie +1
Wand of Nagamar	30	-	1-handed wand	-
white whip	10	-	1-handed whip	+1 Stat(s) Per Fight
wooden stakes	25	-	2-handed spear	Melee Damage +1
worm-riding hooks	50	-	2-handed club	A quest item
yak whip	20	-	1-handed whip	Successful hit weakens opponent

Mysticality weapons (Mysticality)

Name	Power	Requirements	Weapon Type	Notes
Staff of the Grand Flambé	10	125 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Spell Damage +150% Superhuman Cold Resistance Regenerate 8-10 MP per adventure Can be jiggled in combat, doing Hot Damage
Staff of the Grease Trap	10	125 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Spell Damage +150% +20 Damage to Sleaze Spells Regenerate 8-10 MP per adventure Can be jiggled in combat, doing Sleaze Damage
Staff of the Kitchen Floor	10	125 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Spell Damage +150% +20 Damage to Stench Spells Regenerate 8-10 MP per adventure Can be jiggled in combat, doing Stench Damage
Staff of the Walk-In Freezer	10	125 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Spell Damage +150% +20 Damage to Cold Spells Regenerate 8-10 MP per Adventure Can be jiggled in combat, doing Cold Damage
Mjolnir Jr.	200	85 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	A custom item given to Thor the Mighty
war tongs	180	75 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	+10 Hot Damage +10 Damage to Hot Spells
star spatula	150	60 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +15
silver shrimp fork	120	45 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +14 Melee Damage +5
iron pasta spoon	110	40 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +10
oversized pizza cutter	100	35 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +13
huge spoon	90	30 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +10
clockwork staff	80	25 Mysticality	2-handed staff	Spell Damage +10 3x chance of Critical Hit Restores 3-24 MP on Critical Hit
Knob Goblin melon baller	80	25 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +8
chopsticks	75	23 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Combat Initiative +20% Bonus Spell Damage +12
Staff of the Greasefire	10	20 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Spell Damage +35% +10 Damage to Hot Spells +10 Damage to Sleaze Spells Regenerate 3-4 MP per adventure Can be jiggled in combat, doing Hot Damage and Sleaze Damage
17-alarm Saucepan	90	15 Mysticality	1-handed saucepan	Mysticality +11 +15 Damage to Hot Spells Sauceror's Legendary Epic Weapon Allows casting of 15-turn Sauceror buffs
Greek Pasta of Peril	90	15 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Mysticality +11 +10% Food Drops from Monsters Combat Initiative +25% Pastamancer's Legendary Epic Weapon
filthy pestle	60	15 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +7
Staff of Blood and Pudding	10	15 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Spell Damage +25% Maximum HP +15 Regenerate 2-3 MP per adventure Can be jiggled in combat to steal and restore HP
Staff of the Midnight Snack	10	15 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Spell Damage +20% +10 Damage to Spooky Spells Regenerate 2-3 MP per adventure Can be jiggled in combat, doing Spooky Damage
Staff of the Short Order Cook	10	15 Mysticality	1-handed chefstaff	Spell Damage +20% Mysticality +5 Regenerate 2-3 MP per adventure]] Can be jiggled in combat, doing physical damage
5-Alarm Saucepan	50	10 Mysticality	1-handed saucepan	Mysticality +7 (Bonus for Saucerors only) Sauceror's Epic Weapon Allows for the casting of 10-turn Sauceror buffs
Pasta of Peril	50	10 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Mysticality +7 Combat Initiative +15% (Bonus for Pastamancers only) Pastamancer's Epic Weapon
basic meat spork	45	7 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Muscle +3 Melee Damage +3
jack flapper	35	2 Mysticality	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +5
cheap plastic bottle opener	30	-	1-handed utensil	+2 Sleaze Damage
Knob Goblin spatula	30	-	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +4
portable corkscrew	30	-	1-handed utensil	Melee Damage +3 Spell Damage +3
shiny butcherknife	30	-	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +5
spork	30	-	1-handed utensil	Muscle +2
eggbeater	25	-	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +2
Gnollish slotted spoon	25	-	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +3
corn holder	20	-	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +1
Gnollish pie server	20	-	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +3
Knob Goblin tongs	20	-	1-handed utensil	Spell Damage +2
pasta spoon	10	-	1-handed utensil	-

Ranged weapons (Moxie)

Name	Power	Requirements	Hands	Notes
Zim Merman's guitar	200	85 Moxie	2	Ranged Damage +20
fire poi	190	80 Moxie	2	+15 Hot Damage +3 Moxie
beer bong	190	80 Moxie	1	+15 Stench Damage +5 Monster Level
beer-a-pult	190	80 Moxie	3	+10 Stench Damage +10 Sleaze Damage
massive sitar	190	80 Moxie	2	Mysticality +12 Spell Damage +20
didgeridooka	180	75 Moxie	2	Moxie +9
toy ray gun	175	72 Moxie	1	+5 Hot Damage 2x chance of Critical Hit
happiness	165	67 Moxie	1	+12 Hot Damage
star crossbow	165	67 Moxie	2	Moxie +8
arse-shooting crossbow	160	65 Moxie	2	All Attributes +15 Can Arse Shoot A custom item given to Kucolan
automatic catapult	150	60 Moxie	2	-
star boomerang	135	52 Moxie	1	Moxie +5
lucky ball-and-chain	130	50 Moxie	2	-
ga-ga radio	125	47 Moxie	2	+1 Stat(s) Per Fight Melee Damage +5 Maximum MP +20
carob cannon	135	45 Moxie	2	Moxie +7 +3 Adventures per day +5 Stench Damage
chrome crossbow	120	45 Moxie	2	Moxie +7 +3 Adventures per day
heavy metal thunderrr guitarrr	120	45 Moxie	2	Melee Damage +11
hot cross bow	130	45 Moxie	2	Moxie +7 Muscle +5 +5 Hot Damage
potato pistol	120	45 Moxie	1	Moxie +5 +5 Sleaze Damage
projectile icemaker	125	45 Moxie	2	Moxie +7 Spell Damage +7 +5 Cold Damage
asbestos crossbow	110	40 Moxie	2	Moxie +7 Muscle +5
Grimacite gat	150	40 Moxie	1	Combat Initiative +20% Moxie +X%
sack of doorknobs	110	40 Moxie	2	-
acoustic guitarrr	100	35 Moxie	2	+2% Meat from Monsters
can of fake snow	100	35 Moxie	1	Part of the Arboreal Raiment outfit +5 Cold Damage
goulauncher	100	35 Moxie	2	Moxie +4 +5 Spooky Damage
linoleum crossbow	100	35 Moxie	2	Moxie +7, Spell Damage +7
prehistoric spear	100	35 Moxie	1	2x chance of Critical Hit
Cerebral Crossbow	90	30 Moxie	1	Part of the Encephalic Ensemble outfit +3 Cold Damage +3 Sleaze Damage +3 Spooky Damage
savory crossbow	80	25 Moxie	2	Moxie +4
clockwork crossbow	80	25 Moxie	1	Ranged Damage +10 3x chance of Critical Hit Weakens Monster on Critical Hit
lead yo-yo	80	25 Moxie	1	-
can cannon	75	22 Moxie	2	Moxie +3 +3 Monster Level Melee Damage +3
bubble bauble bow	80	20 Moxie	2	Moxie +3 Mysticality +2 +5% Items from Monsters
Crimbo ukelele	80	20 Moxie	2	+10% Items from Monsters
Kentucky-fried meat crossbow	70	20 Moxie	2	Moxie +5
grease gun	65	17 Moxie	1	Moxie +3 Melee Damage +3 +3 Sleaze Damage
repeating crossbow	65	17 Moxie	2	Moxie +2 3x chance of Critical Hit
bubblewrap crossbow	60	15 Moxie	2	Moxie +3 Mysticality +2
cardboard crossbow	60	15 Moxie	2	Moxie +3 Melee Damage +3
Dense meat crossbow	60	15 Moxie	2	Moxie +3
eXtreme meat crossbow	60	15 Moxie	2	Moxie +7
ratarang	60	15 Moxie	1	Moxie +3 Ranged Damage +7
Shagadelic Disco Banjo	90	15 Moxie	2	Moxie +11 +10% Meat from Monsters +7 damage to DB skills Disco Bandit's Legendary Epic Weapon
slightly peevedbow	60	15 Moxie	2	-
Squeezebox of the Ages	90	15 Moxie	2	Moxie +11 Ranged Damage +15 Accordion Thief's Legendary Epic Weapon Allows for the casting of 15-turn AT buffs
styrofoam crossbow	60	15 Moxie	2	Moxie +3 +3 Monster Level
can of maces	50	10 Moxie	1	Melee Damage +2 Slight Sleaze Resistance
Disco Banjo	50	10 Moxie	2	Moxie +7 (Disco Bandits only) DB's Epic Weapon
dripping meat crossbow	50	10 Moxie	2	Moxie +3
Rock and Roll Legend	50	10 Moxie	2	Moxie +7 (Accordion Thieves only) AT's Epic Weapon Allows for the casting of 10-turn AT buffs
curdflinger	45	7 Moxie	1	Moxie +3 Successful hit weakens opponent
basic meat crossbow	20	5 Moxie	2	Moxie +1 Meatsmithing ingredient
calavera concertina	40	5 Moxie	2	Moxie +3 Allows for the casting of 7-turn Accordion Thief buffs
starchy crossbow	40	5 Moxie	1	Moxie +3
bottle-rocket crossbow	100	-	1	+15% Moxie +15% Meat from Monsters 10% Items from Monsters Shoots Bottle Rockets! Cannot be equipped while in Hardcore
disco ball	10	-	1	-
flaming juggler's balls	100	-	1	+10 Hot Damage +2 Stat(s) Per Fight
slingshot	20	-	2	-
stolen accordion	10	-	2	Allows for the casting of 5-turn Accordion Thief buffs
stone banjo	25	-	2	Moxie +1