G-Lover/Strategy

This guide will provide some additional information to aid with a G-Lover ascension.

Valhalla Options

Astral consumables: Only astral hot dogs are usable Astral equipment:

• astral bludgeon (2H club): +25% mus, +15% crit, +20 wdmg
• astral longbow (2H weap): +25% mox, +30% meat, +20 rdmg
• astral ring (acc): +25% mys, +20 sdmg, regen 4-6 MP

Moon Sign Selection

Slightly different tradeoffs are available in this path. Note that you cannot tune to a 2nd moon sign.

• Knoll sign:
  [Mus: +20% wdmg | Mys: +20% sdmg | Mox: +20% init & +20 max HP/MP]
  • Easy bitchin' meatcar Desert access, and instant Untinker access
  • Easy access to cooking supplies, and breadcar fuel (other signs' usual alternative of all-purpose flower is unusable)
  • (detuned radio is unusable)
• Little Canadia:
  [Mus: +5 fam wt | Mys: +5 adv/day from food | Mox: +1 clover/day]
  • Chez Snootée food is available (regardless of G-ness)
  • Free logging axe
  • Bonus ML available
• The Gnomish Gnomad Camp:
  [Mus: +20% meat | Mys: +5 adv/day from booze | Mox: +10% items]
  • Gnomish Micromicrobrewery booze is available (regardless of G-ness), though you'd need to purchase a bus pass first
  • Bonus ML available, though again you need Desert access first

Class Selection

Muscle Classes

Muscle-based (melee) combat remains viable, allowing victory without using any skills "Free" guild access (as usual) LOV Eardigan (+25% mus exp, from The Tunnel of L.O.V.E.) still functions, though you'll probably prefer the makeshift garbage shirt during most of your scaling fights The VIP Fortune Teller muscle buff (+100% mus, +5 mus subs) still functions The Libram summons resolution: be stronger (+2 mus subs) still functions The mus beach head (+50% mus, +25% wdmg) still functions Ben-Gal™ Balm (+15% mus) still functions Rage of the Reindeer (+10% mus, +10 wdmg) still functions Seal Clubber This class is the most recommended choice for this challenge path for low-perm players, with Lunge Smack and Tongue of the Walrus being acquirable early on Infernal Seals can be summoned (via their figurines) normally Lunge Smack (1 MP) and LTS (8 MP) auto-hit if wielding a club Day 1 New-You correspondence is ABC (+50% items & +100% meat, OR 1-shot Duplicate) Turtle Tamer No natural combat skills! Blessings remain available for their base bonus, but the combat skill effects they give can't be used Turtle Taming still occurs, but very few of the turtles are still functional: gummi turtle (found in Kitchen, Billiards, Library, and some other low-level indoor zones) gives 15 turns of Gummi-Grin (+1 mus subs) cigar box turtle (found in Copperhead, Zeppelin, Wine Cellar/Laundry Room, the 4 Hidden City buildings, and some other high-level indoor zones) gives 15 turns of Colorful Gratitude (+5 pris dmg) programmable turtle (found in the same high-level indoor zones as above) gives 15 turns of Spiro Gyro (+2 res all) tortoboggan (found in The eXtreme Slope) is an accessory (+20% init) Barrel of Laughs (from the shrine to the Barrel god) can provide up to +10 turns/day Day 2 New-You correspondence is ABC (+50% items & +100% meat, OR 1-shot Duplicate)

Mysticality Classes

If the guild is opened, magical mystery juice still functions The Lathed weeping willow wand (+25 mys, +5 mys subs) still functions, as does its Barrage of Tears skill FantasyRealm Mage's Hat (+15 mys) still functions Fourth of May Cosplay Saber still lets you (melee) attack using your mysticality, although none of its enchantments function Inscrutable Gaze (+10% mys exp) still functions The VIP Fortune Teller myst buff (+100% mys, +5 mys subs) still functions The Arrrbor Day handful of Laughing Willow bark (+100% mys) still functions glittery mascara (+15% mys) still functions MMM (+10 mys) still functions Pastamancer Entangling Noodles is a multi-round stun The +item, +meat, and +init Pasta Thralls still function (but not the stat equalizer ones) Sauceror The only outlet for soul sauce is the large but costly deleveler Soul Finger 3x reagent potions, but the only functional one is milk of magnesium

Moxie Classes

Moxie-based (ranged) combat remains viable, allowing victory without using any skills. Pickpocket still functions! The LOV Earrings (+25% mox exp, from The Tunnel of L.O.V.E.) still functions The Lathed beechwood blowgun (+25 mox, +5 mox subs) still functions, though its Poison Dart skill does not FantasyRealm Rogue's Mask (+15 mox) still functions Knowing Smile (+1 mox subs) still functions Goldentongue (+100% mox) still functions, if you are lucky enough to be able to find it via your KGB Madrigal (+10 mox) still functions Disco Bandit ? Accordion Thief Doesn't have to purchase a toy accordion (but can't steal anything better than stolen accordion) Beer Barrel Polka (from the shrine to the Barrel god) can provide up to +10 turns/day. The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder is usable if you can reach level 15, but that is nontrivial even with access to lots of scaling monsters

Quest Progression

• [General] Quest-relevant equipment still functions in that capacity, regardless of G-ness. This includes: logging hatchet/loadstone, amulet of extreme plot significance/mohawk wig/titanium assault umbrella, antique machete, unstable fulminate, UV-resistant compass
• When trying to beat the Billiards ghost at pool, neither the pool cue nor the hand chalk function, so having maxed your lifetime pool skill is particularly important here
• To unlock The Hidden Temple, you will have to talk to "Dakota" Fanning (since you can't use the Spooky Temple map) once you've reached 35 mainstat (~lvl 6.5). This means that, instead of tracking down the Spooky Forest noncom 4x, you will need to fetch:
  • pellet of plant food: Found in The Haunted Conservatory after 10 delay (not pre-burnable)
  • heavy-duty bendy straw: Dropped by the third Fallen Archfiend you fight, found in the Dark Heart (so delay adventuring here until after speaking to Fanning)
  • sewing kit: Sold for a fat loot token in the Vending Machine, or pullable. Note that since the kit is untradeable and tokens are unpullable, you will need to pre-purchase a kit before ascending, if you want to be able to pull one from Hagnk's.
• [Level 4] To open the Bat Hole zones, you cannot use sonar-in-a-biscuit, and so must fight 3 Screambats
• [Level 5] To open Cobb's Knob, using the map causes you to lose all your HP and get Beaten Up
• [Level 7] To track your progress in The Cyrpt (since you can't use your Evilometer) you may check your Quest Log
  • Since evil eye is unusable, The Defiled Nook will take the full 25+1 turns, barring assistance from gravy boat (pulled), Nightmare Fuel (via SongBoom), and/or Lovebugs
• [Level 9] To build the Orc Chasm bridge, logging hatchet / loadstone still provide extra lumber / fasteners, but keepsake boxen are unusable
  • To create the jar of oil necessary to complete Twin Peak (lest you be forced to spend 50 turns burning the place down), you must use crude oil congealer (sold for 3 Gs) to combine your 12 bubblin' crude
  • To use the clues at A-boo Peak, you must use A-Boo glue (sold for 1 G each)
    Consider spending all 3 of your starting Gs on the congealer on your first G-Lover ascension, and then buy glue with Gs earned in subsequent runs
• [Level 10] To unlock the Beanstalk, click on the coffee grounds in The Nearby Plains
• [Level 11] To find the Black Market, you cannot use the Blackbird (or Crow), but you can still paste one together to get the bonus zone progression
  • To unlock The Hidden City, you cannot use stone wool, so you'll have to either wish (directly, not pocket) for Stone-Faced (twice) or grind out the noncoms naturally
    • You cannot use a book of matches to find The Hidden Tavern, which means no Bowls of Scorpions for drunk pygmies, and no Cursed Punch to boost your curse level
  • To clear the Mob of Protesters, note that neither the lynyrd musk nor the lynyrd snare are usable
    • To get through The Palindome, since you cannot use the disposable instant camera, you will have to fight 9 dudes (Bob Racecars, Racecar Bobs, and Drab Bards) in order to get a photograph
      • Using both "I Love Me, Vol. I" and "2 Love Me, Vol. 2" cause you to lose all your HP and get Beaten Up.
  • You can still create and throw the wine bomb
  • You cannot use the drum machine to gain 30% desert exploration, so there is no need to collect worm-riding manual pages, meaning hydration is unnecessary (especially since most of the debuffs don't function)
• [Level 12] War Sidequests:
  • You cannot use rock band flyers or jam band flyers, so you cannot Advertise for the Mysterious Island Arena
  • You cannot use chaos butterfly to speed up Defowl the Farm

Mr. Store Items

The functionality of many Mr. Store items have been impacted by the dependence on Gs, rendering some especially important, while some others become greatly inhibited as a result.

Note that this list only includes items that are in standard at the time when this challenge was restricted as such.

IOTMs

The Snojo - The free daily fights still function as usual, and the Training belt, training helmet and training legwarmers equipment drops remain usable. However, the consumables are not. Of the combat skills (which can be purchased from the mall), Shattering Punch remains usable, but Snokebomb does not. LT&T telegraph office deed - your cowboy boots provide no enchantments and Cowboy Kick cannot be used. Bow-Legged Swagger (which can be purchased from the mall) remains usable. Witchess Set - Jumping horseradish is edible, but its effect does not function. Greek fire is useless. Intergnat - Provides item drops, MP restoration, demon summoning components (which can be sold for meat) and a buff that decreases combat frequency via Rational Thought. While the Internet Meme Shop can be accessed via /go meme, only the gallon of milk and daily dungeon malware are usable. Summoning the Intergnat demon can prove useful; ratchet, machete, cigarette lighter, and star chart are all helpful (especially when Space Jellyfish can't find an astronomer for you) Source Terminal - Only Digitize and Damage.enh function in this path, greatly limiting its overall effectiveness. However, the lack of Olfaction as well as the limited sources of banishing make Digitize even more valuable than usual, and the extra prismatic damage can help with the Tavern, the Lair, or hitting things in general. Hacked gibson can be consumed in softcore, but being unable to use Extract means no hardcore availability. Detective school application - Hardboiled egg is edible, but its effect does not function. Shoe gum is another option for -com%, and enchantments on any given badge still works as usual. Protonic accelerator pack - Is equippable, but as it has no 'G's, none of its enchantments function. In fights, its anti-ghost functions are usable as usual: gives bonus stats for busting ghosts with Trap Ghost, and drops psychokinetic energy blobs which work in path for MP restoration. Many special ghost items contain 'G's, and are useful in Hardcore, such as ghostly reins being available by mid/late day 2, viable to save for day 3. Time-Spinner - This IotM does not function at all in this challenge path. Trick-or-Treating Tot - Can be used for HP/MP restoration. However, only the li'l knight costume and li'l ghost costume apply their effects, neither of which are particularly accessible or helpful. Thanksgarden - Due to the cornucopia not being usable, it is of no use in a hardcore ascension. Gravy boat and stuffing fluffer remain usable, and can be pulled in a softcore ascension. Gingerbread City - No Sweet Synthesis means that the candy acquired here is substantially less useful. Space Jellyfish - This IotM does not function at all in this challenge path. The Tunnel of L.O.V.E. - Of the LOV Equipment, the LOV Eardigan and LOV Earrings remain functional. Of the LOV effects, Open Heart Surgery and Wandering Eye Surgery remain functional for boosting Familiar Weight and Item Drops respectively. LOV Enamorang is among the more useful of gift shop items, and the free fights don't hurt either. Robortender - This IotM does not function at all in this challenge path. Spacegate - None of the ascension-relevant are buffs are usable, limiting its usefulness in this challenge path. Disintegrate (which can be purchased from the mall) remains usable, and is the only Standard-legal yellow ray in this path. New-You Club Membership Form - Only Adapt to Change Eventually and Always be Collecting can be used. Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase - Most of its buffs are useless, although Goldentongue and The Living Hitpoints work. Toggling between briefcase +adv, +ML, and -com% enchantments is the best use of this item. Asdon Martin - As all of its effects revolve around driving, it remains almost completely usable in this path. In particular, it offers one of the few ways of reliably manipulating Combat Frequency. Of the combat applications, the Asdon Martin: Bean Bag Cannon stagger and Asdon Martin: Spring-Loaded Front Bumper banish both function normally, while the Asdon Martin: Missile Launcher disintegrate does not. Though you find Food and Booze without a G to be too unpalatable to consume, your car remains way less picky and will be easier to keep above 'E' than usual. Meteor Lore - None of its skills, nor item drops, are usable in this path. Its occasional meat, item and substat bonuses still function, though. genie bottle - Wishes remain usable, allowing for fights on demand as well as the possibility of acquiring helpful buffs and effects. In fact, some effects can only be acquired through wishes in this path, such as Ode to Booze and Stone-Faced. The dragon scale mail also functions normally, providing quality of life and elemental resistance for some particular tasks. Beware that pocket wishes are not usable! XO Skeleton - This IotM does not function at all in this challenge path. Portable pantogram - Completely unchanged, because every version of the pants are still treated as pantogram pants. Mumming trunk - Completely unchanged, conveying some useful item, meat and substat bonuses where they may be lacking otherwise. Intergnat is notable for being both an animal that bites (+4 muscle substat and stagger) and an eyed creature that flies (+4 mysticality and always get the jump), making it a great target given its suggested extensive use frequency. January's Garbage Tote - Some of the most powerful items, the broken champagne bottle and the makeshift garbage shirt are usable. Tall Grass - Only the Egnaro berry, Glum berry and the Razor fang function in this challenge path. The Razor fang, in particular, provides +10 weight and a stagger, but the randomness of what you get makes this unreliable even with up to 4 attempts per day via fertilizer. FantasyRealm - The FantasyRealm Mage's Hat, FantasyRealm Rogue's Mask are usable. Expert Corner-Cutter (which can be purchased from the mall) is helpful for saving turns when cooking / mixing high-level items. Noteworthy for making milk, the Knob cake, the wine bomb and possible advanced cocktails. God Lobster - Provides a great variety of functionality, and given that all of its items and effects revolve around the God Lobster, they remain fully functional in this challenge path (with the exception of the Dish of Clarified Butter, not that it has much utility anyway). SongBoom™ BoomBox - Completely functional in G-Lover. In particular, Nightmare Fuel is important for extra Evilometer beeps and speeding up the otherwise 25-turn Defiled Nook. Additional fuel is still good for the rest of The Cyrpt. Food Vibrations helps with acquiring important food items such as the glass of goat's milk and wet stew components, while its associated Special Seasoning may allow players to push for daycount. Finally, Total Eclipse of Your Meat and the associated Gathered Meat-Clip gives a cash-strapped day 1 some more breathing room. Cat Burglar - Full-weight Fairychaun (meat bonus is twice as good as Scepter Lobster) that can grab items from monsters you have fought recently, like if the Time-Spinner had a baby with the XO Skeleton. Helpful for monsters that only have one relevant drop (Burly Sidekick for mohawk wig or a wished banshee librarian for killing jar), or just in general as an extra pseudo-YR. For example, Exterminate the Filthworm Infestation subquest can be done in only 4 turns by using 3 heists to obtain each scent gland after each fight (hatchling, drone, royal) and then fighting the queen. Bastille Battalion control rig - Completely functional in G-Lover. Can be used daily for a powerful accessory of your choice, a 100 turn buff (Bastille Braggadocio is best for the meat and initiative bonuses) and 250 bonus substats to an attribute of your choosing. Clan VIP Lounge key - It still remains effective, but some of the more recent furniture additions have lost some of their effectiveness. Given that many healing abilities such as Disco Power Nap and Cannelloni Cocoon are not usable, the Hot Tub becomes more valuable for early-game restoration as a result. Unfortunately, none of the Clan Floundry items contain Gs, rendering the floundry useless for this path. Their item-producing uses (e.g. drain spit) do not function either. Madame Zatara’s Relationship Fortune Teller retains some functionality, as its Familiar, Muscle and Mysticality buffs are usable, as are any of the Genie Garments outfit pieces. Additionally, three of its skills remain useful: Get Big, Gallapagosian Mating Call and Inscrutable Gaze. These can be purchased from the mall. Rockin' Robin - This IotY does not function at all in this challenge path. Optimistic Candle - This IotY does not function at all in this challenge path. Garbage Fire - Although the burning newspaper is still usable to provide some decent equipment (all of which are usable due to being burning), none of the consumables are usable. KoL Con 13 snowglobe - Although unreliable, you may get lucky and get some good food/booze, which can be hard to come by in hardcore. The minor substat bonuses don't hurt either, especially since there aren’t many good choices for off-hand items. Potted tea tree - While the path is under Standard restrictions, tea is not usable, but autoselling the tea from shaking is good for 90 Meat per day.

Familiar Options

Some of the most valuable familiars for this challenge path include:

• Intergnat (fairy): Does a lot, but also requires that you use it a lot:
  • Sometimes drops demon summoning components, ultimately enabling the use of the Preternatural Greed (+100% meat) at the Nuns
    • Alternatively/additionally, there is a run-specific demon whose name these enemies will also eventually reveal, which when summoned will yield (at exactly level 11) tomb ratchet + antique machete + cigarette lighter, or (at exactly level 12) a star chart
  • Drops BACON after combat, which can be spent to buy either gallon of milk (awesome-quality size-15 food that comes with a minor but lengthy debuff) or daily dungeon malware (yields an extra fat loot token/day if used in the DD)
  • Sometimes lets you gain 10 turns of a -5% CF buff
• Jumpsuited Hound Dog (1.25x-weight fairy): Potentially the strongest available fairy (acts as 1.25x weight), with the mixed blessing of +(WT/6)% CF (maxed to +5% at 30 lbs)
• Slimeling (fairy): Extra chance to steal equipment (particularly good in the Airship), and can generate massive amounts of MP
• Gelatinous Cubeling (fairy): Speeds up the Daily Dungeon
• Garbage Fire (fairy whelp): Drops burning newspaper after 5+30X turns
• Cat Burglar (fairychaun): Heists are a great fallback option for missed drops
• Grimstone Golem (fairychaun): Drops a grimstone mask after 40-50 combats
• Grim Brother (volleychaun): Drops (useable) spleensies
• Artistic Goth Kid (volley): Burns delay with free black crayon fights; crayon shavings still work
• Baby Bugged Bugbear: +20 ML with the (free at the Cake-Shaped Arena) bugged balaclava equipped
• Disgeist - If you are having trouble decreasing combat frequency, this familiar can be of use.
• God Lobster: 3 free fights/day, each followed by a boon: some bonus experience, the next tier of familiar equipment, or a 33-turn buff. Buffs are determined by the current tier:
  • (Tier 0) Wisdom of the God Lobster: regen 40 MP/adv
  • (Tier 2) Silence of the God Lobster: -5% CF
  • (Tier 3) Color of the God Lobster: +5% CF
• Pair of Stomping Boots: Free runaways, but cannot stomp
• Magic Dragonfish and Sludgepuppy: Useful for towerkilling

Familiars available under Summer 2018 Standard restrictions

#	Familiar	Type	Full Effect	Availability	Notes
3	Levitating Potato	Combat	Blocks attacks	Created / Mall
4	Angry Goat	Combat	Attacks enemies	Created / Mall
9	Howling Balloon Monkey	Combat	Attacks enemies, restores MP	Created / Mall	Only acts when weight is at least 11 lb.
11	Grue	Combat	Attacks enemies, restores MP	Strange leaflet	Does not act if the moons are too bright.
14	Ghuol Whelp	Combat	Restores HP/MP after combat	Created / Mall
15	Baby Gravy Fairy	Items	Increases item drops	Created / Mall
18	Hovering Sombrero	Stats	Increases stat gains from fights based on the monster's ML.	Created / Mall
19	Ghost Pickle on a Stick	Combat	Attacks & delevels enemies	Created / Mall
21	Whirling Maple Leaf	Combat	Attacks, restores MP after combat	Created / Mall
32	Clockwork Grapefruit	Combat	Attacks enemies	Created / Mall
33	MagiMechTech MicroMechaMech	Combat	Attacks enemies	Created / Mall
34	Flaming Gravy Fairy	Items + Combat	Increases item drops, attacks enemies	Created / Untradable	Possible reward from Summon a Mushroom Familiar.
35	Frozen Gravy Fairy	Items + Combat	Increases item drops, attacks enemies	Created / Untradable	Possible reward from Summon a Mushroom Familiar.
36	Stinky Gravy Fairy	Items + Combat	Increases item drops, attacks enemies	Created / Untradable	Possible reward from Summon a Mushroom Familiar.
37	Spooky Gravy Fairy	Items + Combat	Increases item drops, attacks enemies	Created / Untradable	Acquired from mushroom farming.
49	Sleazy Gravy Fairy	Items + Combat	Increases item drops, attacks enemies	Created / Untradable	Acquired from mushroom farming.
51	Wind-up Chattering Teeth	Combat	Attacks enemies	Created / Mall	A gift item.
60	Origami Towel Crane	Combat	Blocks attacks, absorbs damage	Created / Mall
69	Jumpsuited Hound Dog	Items + Special	Increases item drops, increases combat frequency	Created / Untradable	Must be purchased from the Bounty Hunter Hunter for 100 filthy lucre.
71	Ragamuffin Imp	Combat	Attacks enemies	Created / Untradable	Acquired from the Summoning Chamber
81	El Vibrato Megadone	Combat	Varied combat functionality depending on programming	Created / Untradable	Acquired from El Vibrato Island, and requires El Vibrato punchcards to tune its functionality. Does nothing otherwise.
86	Pet Cheezling	Combat	Restores HP/MP after combat	Created / Untradable	Reward from Me and My Nemesis More effective when used by a Sauceror.
104	Magic Dragonfish	Special	Increases spell damage	Created / Mall	Can breathe underwater. More effective underwater.
106	Midget Clownfish	Combat	Attacks enemies, restores MP	Created / Mall	Can breathe underwater. More effective underwater.
108	Grinning Turtle	Stats	Increases stat gains from fights	Created / Mall
112	Slimeling	Items + Special	Increases item drops (especially equipment), restores MP when fed	Untradable	Acquired from the Slimetube. Slime stack drop is not usable.
116	Grouper Groupie	Items	Increases item drops	Created / Mall	Can breathe underwater.
142	Smiling Rat	Stats	Increases stat gains from fights	Created / Mall
163	Hovering Skull	Stats + Combat	Increases stat gains from fights, attacks enemies	Created / Untradable	Obtainable from a Zombie Slayer ascension.
171	Gelatinous Cubeling	Items + Combat + Special	Increases item drops, delevels enemies, drops items after combat	Created / Mall	Drops items that reduce adventure cost in the Daily dungeon. Some miscellaneous item drops are not usable in this path.
175	Mechanical Songbird	Items	Increases item drops	Created / Mall	More effective in Dreadsylvania.
180	Miniature Sword & Martini Guy	Stats + Combat	Increases stat gains from monsters, attacks enemies	Untradable	Acquired from an anniversary gift box after playing for 11 years.
203	Intergnat	Items + Special	Increases item drops, drops BACON and provides greatly varied functionality	Mr. Store	Functionality is somewhat limited in this challenge path; most Internet Meme Shop items are not usable.
203	Software Bug	Nothing	Does nothing	Created / Mall
206	Trick-or-Treating Tot	Combat + Special	Restores HP/MP after combat, wears costumes for additional benefits	Mr. Store	Functionality is severely limited in this challenge path; only two mediocre costumes are usable.
214	Garbage Fire	Items + Combat + Special	Increases item drops, restores HP/MP after combat, drops various items	Mr. Store	Functionality is somewhat limited in this challenge path; only its burning newspaper drop is usable.
262	Disgeist	Special	Decreases Combat Frequency	Created / Mall
266	God Lobster	Stats + Special	Increases stat gains from monsters, provides free fights and other potential abilities	Mr. Store	Fully functional in this challenge path, except for the Dish of Clarified Butter.
267	Cat Burglar	Items + Meat + Special	Increases meat drops, item drops, and can grab items from defeated monsters	Mr. Store	Fully functional in this challenge path.

Functional Sources of Specific Enchantments

Combat Frequency

-Combat: -10: latte lovers member's mug (offhand) (IOTM), with the upgrade found in The Haunted Library -5: Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase (acc) (IOTM), adjusted (for 1-3 clicks) to -CF -5: ring of conflict (acc) (Softcore pull) -5: pantogram pants (pants) (IOTM), set (1x/day) to -CF -X: Disgeist (familiar), X = weight/7.5 (-5% @ 35 lbs, max -10% @ 70 lbs) -10: Driving Stealthily (30 turns), by spending 37 fuel at your Asdon Martin (IOTM) workshed -5: Dark Horse chosen from the Horsery (Promo) - 500 meat to swap after the first/day -5: Strung-Up Quartet ballroom song -5: Rational Thought (10 turns), via using an Intergnat (IOTM) to find a "WITH SCIENCE!" monster and casting the no-itemdrop instakill skill -5: Gummed Shoes (50 turns), by using shoe gum, purchased for 10 cop dollars at the Precinct Materiel Division (IOTM) -5: Silence of the God Lobster (33 turns), by requesting a boon from fighting your God Lobster (IOTM) while it's wearing its twice-upgraded equipment +Combat: +10: latte lovers member's mug (offhand) (IOTM), with the upgrade found in The Dark Heart of the Woods +5: pantogram pants (pants) (IOTM), set (1x/day) to +CF +5: Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase (acc) (IOTM), adjusted (for 1-3 clicks) to +CF +X: Jumpsuited Hound Dog (fam), X = weight/6 (max +5% @ 30 lbs); also a 1.25x fairy +10: Driving Obnoxiously (30 turns), by spending 37 fuel at your Asdon Martin (IOTM) workshed +5: Color of the God Lobster (33 turns), by requesting a boon from fighting your God Lobster (IOTM) while it's wearing its thrice-upgraded equipment

Monster Level

+25: LOV Eardigan (shirt), obtained in The Tunnel of L.O.V.E. (IOTM) +25: tinsel tights (pants), folded from January's Garbage Tote (IOTM) +15: frigid-ass club (2h weap), crafted by smithing a bad-ass club (obtained from using the 35% drop ingot from the hellseal summonable via the Smacketeria's armored figurine) with a frost-rimed seal hide (35% drop obtained by defeating a cold hellseal, summonable via the figurine found in the Goatlet) +6: Cargo Cultist Shorts (acc) (IOTM) +25: Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase (acc) (IOTM), adjusted (for 1-3 clicks) to +ML +25: training belt (acc), obtained from the Snojo (IOTM) after 11 fights on Muscle mode +20: whittled owl figurine (acc), obtained by whittling 10 sticks of firewood at your Distant Woods Getaway Campsite (IOTM) +30: hockey stick of furious angry rage (acc) (UR) +11: numberwang (acc) (Softcore pull), untradeable, obtained by multi-using 169 dubious peppermints, the (tradeable) Halloween candy corresponding to the Wumpus-Hair Wardrobe +10: badge of authority (acc), a 5% drop from Big Wheelin' Twins at Twin Peak +20: bugged balaclava (fam eq), equipped on the Baby Bugged Bugbear (IOTM) +X: Monster Aggravation Devices, toggeable at will, up to +10 for Gnomads or +11 for Canadia (Knoll signs cannot use the detuned radio) +10: Drescher's Annoying Noise (10 turns) +25: Driving Recklessly (30 turns), by spending 37 fuel at your Asdon Martin (IOTM) workshed +30: Planting a Rabid Dogwood (outdoor), War Lily (indoor), or Blustery Puffball (underground) via the Florist friar (IOTM) +20: Lapdog (50 turns), by swimming laps in the Clan VIP (IOTM) Swimming Pool +20: Grulched (10 turns), by using fustulent seal grulch, a 35% drop obtained (as a Seal Clubber) by defeating a stench hellseal, summonable via the figurine found in the non-verge Hippy Camp +10: Chill Out, Dog (30 turns), by eating a chilly dog (~12 adv/3 full) at the Clan VIP (IOTM) Hot Dog Stand

Item Drops

+100%: Gettin' the Goods (50 turns), from gaseous gravy (size 1 spleensie), sold for 1 G at G-Mart +20X%: Thanksgetting (20X turns), via eating green bean casserole, baked stuffing, thanksgiving turkey, and/or warm gravy (size 2 awesome quality foods, pull) --> +40%: Thanksgot (converted on rollover) +75%: Let's Go Shopping! (20 turns), via wishing (IOTM) +50%: Clyde's Blessing (20 turns), via The Legendary Beat (reusable, 1x/day, pull), acquired through The Quest for the Legendary Beat (antique record album content) +50%: Wandering Eye Surgery (50 turns), obtained in The Tunnel of L.O.V.E. (IOTM) +50%: Always be Collecting (50 turns), from the Daily Affirmation, either pulled or received as correspondence (IOTM) on day 1 as a SC or on day 2 as a TT +50%: Driving Observantly (30 turns), by spending 37 fuel at your Asdon Martin (IOTM) workshed +50%: Sucrose-Colored Glasses (10 turns), from pair of candy glasses (pull) +50%: Double Negavision (50 turns), from nega-mushroom wine (size 2 awesome quality booze, pull) +40%: Sour Grapes (40 turns), from non-aged vinegar (size 2 awesome quality booze, pull) +30%: Finding Stuff (20 turns), from the Cargo Cultist Shorts (IOTM) +25%: Video Game Hot Dog (50 turns), from eating a video games hot dog from the VIP Hot Dog Stand (IOTM) +25%: Heightened Senses (20 turns), from airborne mutagen, dropped by monsters in The Secret Government Laboratory on Conspiracy Island (IOTM zone) once the 0-0Z-E protocol has been activated +25%: Dance of the Sugar Fairy (20 turns), from sugar fairy, created by using a possessed sugar cube, dropped by the Sundae in the Diner on SBB (IOTM zone) +25%: Wet and Greedy (100 turns), from goblin water (pull) +25%: High-Falutin' (30 turns), from high-end ginger wine (size 2 epic quality booze, untradeable, pull), Gingerbread City content +25%: Negavision (50 turns), from nega-mushroom (size 2 awesome quality food, pull) +20%: Eagle Eyes (20 turns), from eagle feather, dropped by eagle (@ 15%) in the Mob +20%: The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder, by either pulling a recording (20 turns) or casting it (though this requires you be a lvl 15+ AT)

Meat Drops

+90%: Passives: Nimble Fingers (+20%), 5-D Earning Potential (+20%), Thrift and Grift (+10%), Thief Among the Honorable (+10%), Expert Panhandling (+10%), Gnefarious Pickpocketing (+10%), Budget Conscious (+10%) +40%: latte lovers member's mug (offhand) (IOTM), with the upgrade found in The Black Forest +50%: LOV Earrings (acc), obtained in The Tunnel of L.O.V.E. (IOTM) +30%: gold detective badge (acc), the final detective (IOTM) upgrade Leprechaun-type familiars (all IOTM/IOTYs): Ghost of Crimbo Commerce, Cat Burglar, Grimstone Golem, Jitterbug, Chauvinist Pig, Dramatic Hedgehog, Bloovian Groose Leprechaun-type familiars with hands (also all IOTM/IOTYs): Grim Brother, Angry Jung Man, Casagnova Gnome, Cymbal-Playing Monkey, Dancing Frog, Golden Monkey, Knob Goblin Organ Grinder Not a Leprechaun, but has familiar equipment that acts as a 10-lb Leprechaun (= +60.9%): Pet Cheezling +15%, or +30% for familiars with hands: mumming trunk (IOTM) +40X%: Thanksgetting (20X turns), via pulling and eating green bean casserole, baked stuffing, thanksgiving turkey, and/or warm gravy --> +80%: Thanksgot (converted on rollover) +150%: Let's Go Shopping! (20 turns), via wishing (IOTM) +100%: Preternatural Greed (30 turns), via demon summoning, the parts for which can be dropped by an Intergnat (IOTM) +100%: Always be Collecting (50 turns), from the Daily Affirmation, either pulled or received as correspondence (IOTM) on day 1 as a SC or on day 2 as a TT +60%: Good Things Are Coming, You Can Smell It (40 turns), from the Smoldering Clover™ candle, either pulled or received as correspondence (IOTM) +50%: Driving Observantly (30 turns), by spending 37 fuel at your Asdon Martin (IOTM) workshed +50%: The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder, by either pulling a recording (20 turns) or casting it (though this requires you be a lvl 15+ AT) +50%: Boxing Day Glow (100 turns), from body spradium (size-1 spleensie, untradeable), acquired from your Boxing Daycare (IOTM) +50%: Egg-stortionary Tactics (20 turns), from black paisley/polka-dot/striped oyster eggs (size-1 spleensies) +50%: Big Meat Big Prizes (20 turns), from Meat-inflating powder, dropped by Burgers in the Diner on SBB (IOTM zone) +50%: Heightened Senses (20 turns), from airborne mutagen, dropped by monsters in The Secret Government Laboratory on Conspiracy Island (IOTM zone) once the 0-0Z-E protocol has been activated +50%: High-Falutin' (30 turns), from high-end ginger wine (size 2 epic quality booze, untradeable, pull), Gingerbread City content +30%: SongBoom™ BoomBox (IOTM) set to "Total Eclipse of Your Meat" Also, use Sing Along to add 25 to the monster's base meat drop +25%: Traditional Eating (40 turns), from campfire hot dog, created from 1 stick of firewood at Your Campsite Away From Your Campsite (IOTM) +25%: Video Game Hot Dog (50 turns), from eating a video games hot dog from the VIP Hot Dog Stand (IOTM) +25%: Bastille Braggadocio (100 turns), the moxie buff from Bastille Battalion (IOTM)

Blech House variables

Weapon Damage (Percent), for the muscle path: +100%: Song of the North (10 turns), from the Dreadsylvania SC/AT cross-class skill +100%: Pretending to Pretend (30 turns), from one of the Castle GF noncoms +50%: Billiards Belligerence (10 turns), from the VIP Pool Table (IOTM) +50%: Feeling Punchy (10 turns), from the Punching Potion, dropped when the SongBoom™ BoomBox (IOTM) is set to "These Fists Were Made for Punchin" +50%: Boxing Day Breakfast (50 turns), from glass of raw eggs (size 1 epic quality food, untradeable), acquired from your Boxing Daycare (IOTM) +25%: Lack of Body-Building (50 turns), from combing a beach head with Beach Comb (IOTM) +15%: Sweet and Green (10 turns), from sugar lime, dropped sometimes by Sugar Fruit Fairy (IOTM) Spell Damage (Percent), for the myst path: +100%: Song of Sauce (10 turns), from the Dreadsylvania Sa/AT cross-class skill +100%: Nothing Is Impossible (30 turns), from one of the Castle GF noncoms +100%: Night of the Nachos (20 turns), from nachos of the night (size 2 decent quality food) +50%: Boxing Day Breakfast (50 turns), from glass of raw eggs (size 1 epic quality food, untradeable), acquired from your Boxing Daycare (IOTM) Sleaze Resistance, for the mox path: [TO DO]

Softcore Pulls

While most pulls that work for softcore speed ascension strategies remain viable, there are some particular pulls that are ideal to cover some of G-Lover's deficits.

• blessed rustproof +2 gray dragon scale mail: If you do not have a genie bottle, this shirt can be pulled to provide quality of life and elemental resistance for some particular tasks.
• bomb of unknown origin: Removes 10 zeppelin protesters without killing the one you are fighting. Cranking ML allows multiples to be used in a single fight, removing many from the zone.
  • Alternatively, consider pulling lynyrd gear. The fastest possible Red Zepplin involves using 4 clovers while wearing three pieces of gear with the musky effect. This takes a lot of pulls, though.
• crude oil congealer: Unlike other G-Mart items, this one is not a quest item. If collected and stored during previous runs, it can be pulled to save your Gs for other uses.
• gallon of milk: If you do not have an Intergnat, this 15-fullness awesome beverage can be consumed to fill your stomach with a single pull. The associated debuff, while bothersome, is manageable.
• government-issued eyeshade: If you have trouble getting your Pool Skill high enough to finish The Haunted Billiards Room, consider pulling this, as it adds 5 Pool Skill and gives a flat 25 extra damage against ghosts, making the A-boo Peak and the Haunted Billiards Room easier to deal with.
• gravy boat : As the cornucopia cannot be used, this hat can be pulled to speed up the Undefile the Cyrpt Quest.
• hacked gibson: As Extract cannot be used, these can be pulled as one of the best drinks available for this path.
• mafia middle finger ring: An accessory that allows you to Show them your ring, a 60 turn banish (which does not take an adventure) that can be used once per day. Helps in varying locations, such as the Junkyard.
• Numberwang: An accessory that gives +11 monster level, which can help with levelling as well as areas such as the Oil Peak. Also gives HP/MP regeneration, maximum HP/MP, combat initiative, and 5 rollover adventures.
• ring of conflict: An accessory that reduces combat frequency by 5%, which can help if you are unable to reach -25% otherwise.
• stuffing fluffer: As the cornucopia cannot be used, this can be pulled and used to speed up the Mysterious Island Quest in quantities up to 28.

Miscellaneous Modern (circa 2021) Advice

• Clovers still function normally, but cannot be disassembled / reassembled, so you must closet them to preserve them.
• Fortune cookies cannot be consumed, but semirares may still be predicted via drinking Lucky Lindys (from the Clan VIP Speakeasy) or forced via eating optimal dogs (from the Clan VIP Hot Dog Stand) or popping Sunday pills (from the Pill Keeper).
• Transcendent Olfaction is not available. The only functional pseudo-sniff is the very weak Gallapagosian Mating Call (which adds a single extra copy to the zone and does 'not' suppress normal queue rejection).
• There are very few banishers available: the Asdon Martin's bumper, KGB's dart, familiar scrapbook's Show Your Boring Familiar Pictures, and poppers from the Divine libram, as well as the 1/day banishers from the Softcore equipment pulls V mask, stinky cheese, and mafia middle finger ring.
• Due to the general lack of monster control, predictions from the miniature crystal ball (which still functions) may be more crucial than usual.
• Your Mystical Bookshelf can be used to summon from Tomes, Librams, and Grimoires, even if the skill name doesn't contain a G.
• The best available yellow ray is the permable 150-MP skill Disintegrate, which has a 100-turn cooldown. There are also two Tome derivative combat items with 150-turn cooldowns, Golden Light (from The Smith's Tome) and unbearable light (from Tome of Clip Art).
• Ode to Booze can only be reliably obtained by wishing, each use gives you up to 20 more adventures.
• All daily dungeon skillbooks work as usual: Walberg's Dim Bulb, Singer's Faithful Ocelot and Drescher's Annoying Noise. Given the limited sources of +item drops as well as +ML, the latter two are more important than usual.
• All Dreadsylvania songs work as usual: Song of the North, Song of Slowness, Song of Starch, Song of Bravado, and Song of Sauce.
• Although both the spaghetti breakfast and the Cold One can be summoned, only the spaghetti breakfast can be consumed in this path.
• Regarding demon summoning, the Preternatural Greed buff still functions to speed up the Nun sidequest, and is more important than usual.

Ascension Strategy
Rankings:	HC Skills - HC Familiars - HC IotMs
General:	Class selection - Familiar usage - Lucky adventures
Paths:	BHY - Fist - AoB - BI - ZS - AoJ - BIG! - KOLHS - CA2 - AoSP - SS - HR - Picky - Ed - Random - AoWoL - Source - NA - GN - LtA - L.A.R. - PF - G-Lover - DD
Additional Paths:	DG - 2CRS - KoE - PotP - LKS - GG - Y,Robot - QT - WF - GY - JM - FotD
IotMs:	Tomes - Faxing - Copying - YR - Garden - Correspondent - Workshed - Tea party - Florist