Melee weapons

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Melee weapons, in contrast to ranged weapons, use Muscle to determine Hit Chance. Also, melee weapons cannot be dual-wielded with ranged weapons.

Name	Power	Req	Weapon Type	Notes
antique spear	200	85 Mus	1-handed polearm	Part of the Antique Arms And Armor Combat Initiative -30% Successful hit weakens opponent. Pulverizes into useless powder Can break in combat
Bigger Bugfinder Blade	200	85 Mus	2-handed sword	All Attributes +11 Awarded to people who find major bugs or a lot of bugs
brand new key	200	85 Mus	1-handed knife	Muscle +5% Weapon Damage +20
Brimstone Bludgeon	200	30 Mus	1-handed club	Muscle +50% Mysticality -20% Weapon Damage +30 Seal Clubber's Bad Moon reward
cursed cutlass	200	85 Mus	1-handed sword	Part of the Cursed Zombie Pirate Costume Muscle +15
decaying wooden oar	200	85 Mus	2-handed club
El Vibrato energy spear	200	200 Mus	2-handed spear	Part of the El Vibrato Relics Can be charged with various effects
fetus-smashing club	200	85 Mus	2-handed club	A custom item given to Bashy
fish scimitar	200	85 Mus	1-handed sword	Muscle +5% Weapon Damage +10%
fish stick	200	85 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +5% Spell Damage +15%
Flail of the Seven Aspects	200	60 Mus	1-handed flail	Part of the Legendary Regalia of the Chelonian Overlord Muscle +15 Never Fumble Handle Doubles as a Turtling Rod Special Attack: Turtle of Seven Tails Enables casting of 20-turn Turtle Tamer buffs Turtle Tamer's Ultimate Legendary Epic Weapon
flamin' bindle	200	200 Mus	2-handed polearm	+10% Items from Monsters +25 Hot Damage Does extra Hot Damage on Critical Hit
freezin' bindle	200	200 Mus	2-handed polearm	+10% Items from Monsters +25 Cold Damage Does extra Cold Damage on Critical Hit
Frosty's arm	200	200 Mus	1-handed staff	Weapon Damage +30 +30 Cold Damage
Frosty's nailbat	200	200 Mus	2-handed club	Part of the Hyperborean Hobo Habiliments Muscle +30% +3% Critical Hit Chance +30 Cold Damage Bonus for Seal Clubbers only
halibut	200	85 Mus	2-handed fish	+100 Stench Damage +100 Sleaze Damage Moxie -10%
Hodgman's whackin' stick	200	200 Mus	1-handed club	All Attributes +20% On Critical: Insanity!
lawn dart	200	200 Mus	1-handed club	Muscle +15% Weapon Damage +20% Maximum HP +300 Can also be used as a combat item
Mer-kin hookspear	200	85 Mus	1-handed spear	Combat Initiative +20% Weapon Damage +40 Extracts Meat on Critical Hit
Mer-kin digpick	200	85 Mus	2-handed axe	Weapon Damage +30 Allows for mining in the Anemone Mine
non-stick pugil stick	200	85 Mus	2-handed club	Muscle +10% Weapon Damage +10% On Critical: Stuns Opponent
octopus's spade	200	85 Mus	1-handed knife	+5% Items from Monsters Combat Initiative +10% Weapon Damage +15
Ol' Scratch's infernal pitchfork	200	200 Mus	2-handed polearm	+40 Hot Damage +2% Critical Hit Chance
pernicious cudgel	200	150 Mus	1-handed club	Slime Hates It +30 Sleaze Damage +2% Critical Hit Chance
PVC staff	200	85 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +15% +10% Items from Monsters +60 Damage to Cold Spells
rusty piece of rebar	200	85 Mus	1-handed club	Weapon Damage +25 3x Critical Hit Chance
skate blade	200	85 Mus	1-handed knife	Moxie +5% Successful hit weakens opponent.
skate board	200	85 Mus	2-handed club	All Attributes +10% Damage Reduction: 10
sleazy bindle	200	200 Mus	2-handed polearm	+10% Items from Monsters +25 Sleaze Damage Does extra Sleaze Damage on Critical Hit
Sledgehammer of the Vælkyr	200	60 Mus	1-handed club	Part of the Legendary Regalia of the Seal Crusher Muscle +23 4x Critical Hit Chance +20% Physical Damage Special Attack: Bashing Slam Smash Seal Clubber's Ultimate Legendary Epic Weapon
slime-covered club	200	200 Mus	1-handed club	+50 Damage against slimes Weapon Damage +25 3x Critical Hit Chance
slime-covered shovel	200	200 Mus	2-handed polearm	+100 Damage against slimes Weapon Damage +60 Combat Initiative -10%
stinkin' bindle	200	200 Mus	2-handed polearm	+10% Items from Monsters +25 Stench Damage Does extra Stench Damage on Critical Hit
spooky bindle	200	200 Mus	2-handed polearm	+10% Items from Monsters +25 Spooky Damage Does extra Spooky Damage on Critical Hit
Uncle Hobo's highest bough	200	200 Mus	1-handed club	Muscle +15% Regenerate 15-30 HP per Adventure Regenerate 15-30 MP per Adventure
Underworld truncheon	200	150 Mus	2-handed club	+10 Muscle Stat(s) Per Fight Weapon Damage +20% Muscle +10%
velcro broadsword	200	85 Mus	1-handed sword	Muscle +5% Regenerate 6-12 MP per Adventure +20% Hat/Pants Items from Monsters
villainous scythe	200	150 Mus	2-handed polearm	Slime Hates It x2 +30% Weapon Damage +4% Critical Hit Chance Part of the Grimy Reaper's Vestments
Zombo's shoulder blade	200	200 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +30% Weapon Damage +30%
duct tape sword	195	82 Mus	1-handed sword	Part of the Tapered Threads Damage Absorption +40 +5% Items from Monsters
cast-iron legacy paddle	190	80 Mus	2-handed club	Muscle +15 Weapon Damage +10
giant driftwood sculpture	190	80 Mus	2-handed flail	Moxie +8 Weapon Damage +15
Bugfinder Blade	180	75 Mus	2-handed sword	All Attributes +7 Awarded to people who find a few bugs
goatskin umbrella	180	75 Mus	1-handed umbrella	+15 Stench Damage
plexiglass pikestaff	180	75 Mus	2-handed club	Weapon Damage +25 +10 Extra PvP Fights Muscle +30% Seal Clubber's Hardcore Oxygenarian reward
lead pipe	175	72 Mus	1-handed club	Muscle +6 Mysticality +6
perforated battle paddle	175	72 Mus	2-handed club	Weapon Damage +10
Drowsy Sword	171	66 Mus	2-handed sword	Successful hit weakens opponent. Monster Level -10
denim axe	170	70 Mus	2-handed axe	Muscle +10 Weapon Damage +10
giant foam finger	170	70 Mus	1-handed club	Damage Reduction: +3
dwarvish war mattock	165	67 Mus	1-handed axe	Part of the Dwarvish War Uniform Reveals opponent HP
Maxwell's Silver Hammer	165	67 Mus	1-handed club	Mysticality +10 Weapon Damage +10
pygmy spear	165	67 Mus	1-handed spear	Muscle +7
star staff	165	67 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +8
star sword	165	67 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +8
black sword	160	65 Mus	1-handed sword	Part of the Black Armaments 3x Critical Hit Chance Weapon Damage +7
creepy-ass club	160	65 Mus	2-handed club	Weapon Damage +25 Monster Level +15 +15 Sleaze Damage Bonus for Seal Clubbers only (Also lose 10 HP in combat)
cyber-mattock	160	65 Mus	2-handed axe	+5% Items from Monsters +10% Meat from Monsters May break in combat
evil-ass club	160	65 Mus	2-handed club	Weapon Damage +25 Monster Level +15 +15 Spooky Damage Bonus for Seal Clubbers only (Also lose 10 HP in combat)
frigid-ass club	160	65 Mus	2-handed club	Weapon Damage +25 Monster Level +15 +15 Cold Damage Bonus for Seal Clubbers only (Also lose 10 HP in combat)
giant cactus quill	160	65 Mus	1-handed spear	3x Critical Hit Chance Maximum HP +30
hot-ass club	160	65 Mus	2-handed club	Weapon Damage +25 Monster Level +15 +15 Hot Damage Bonus for Seal Clubbers only (Also lose 10 HP in combat)
nasty-ass club	160	65 Mus	2-handed club	Weapon Damage +25 Monster Level +15 +15 Stench Damage Bonus for Seal Clubbers only (Also lose 10 HP in combat)
pointed stick	160	65 Mus	1-handed spear	2x Critical Hit Chance Weapon Damage +10
trout fang	160	65 Mus	1-handed knife	Weapon Damage +15 25% chance of poisoning opponent
giant discarded plastic fork	155	62 Mus	3-handed staff	Part of the Glad Bag Glad Rags 2x Critical Hit Chance Combat Initiative -10%
bill bec-de-bardiche glaive-guisarme	150	60 Mus	2-handed polearm?
bugbear-smiting sword	150	60 Mus	2-handed sword	A custom item given to Spazworrier Weapon Damage +10 Muscle +10
C.H.U.M. knife	150	175 Mus	1-handed knife	+30 Stench Damage
club of the five seasons	150	60 Mus	1-handed club	+5 Spooky Damage +5 Stench Damage +5 Hot Damage +5 Cold Damage +5 Sleaze Damage
drywall axe	150	60 Mus	2-handed axe	All Attributes +2 All Attributes +3%
giant needle	150	60 Mus	2-handed spear	Monster Level +5
grassy cutlass	150	60 Mus	1-handed sword	Weapon Damage +11
heavy leather-bound tome	150	60 Mus	1-handed club	Successful hit weakens opponent.
heteroerotic frat-paddle	150	60 Mus	1-handed club	A custom item given to Mr Skullhead
immense cyborg hand	150	60 Mus	1-handed club	Weapon Damage +5 +3 Spooky Damage +3 Stench Damage +3 Hot Damage +3 Cold Damage +3 Sleaze Damage
pipe wrench	150	60 Mus	1-handed club	Weapon Damage +8
Radio Free Foil	150	60 Mus	2-handed sword	Part of the Radio Free Regalia Intrinsic Effect: Shiny Happy Weapon: Muscle +20
vibrating cyborg knife	150	55 Mus	1-handed sword	Weapon Damage +20 3x Fumble Chance
witty rapier	150	60 Mus	1-handed sword	+2 Mysticality Stat(s) Per Fight
batblade	145	57 Mus	1-handed knife	Weapon Damage +15
crowbar	140	55 Mus	1-handed club	Combat Initiative +25%
frozen seal spine	140	55 Mus	1-handed club	+20 Cold Damage Regenerate 5-10 HP and MP per Adventure Bonus for Seal Clubbers only
gatorskin umbrella	140	100 Mus	1-handed umbrella	Serious Stench Resistance Weapon Damage +15
ridiculously huge sword	140	55 Mus	3-handed sword	Weapon Damage +12 Muscle +4
broken sword	135	52 Mus	1-handed sword	Slight Spooky Resistance
hairy staff	135	45 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7 Spell Damage +7 Regenerate 5-7 MP per Adventure
ram-battering staff	135	52 Mus	2-handed staff	+10 Damage to Hot Spells Moxie +5
Spirit Precipice	135	45 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +7 Mysticality +5 5x Critical Hit Chance
star stiletto	135	52 Mus	1-handed knife	Muscle +5
bad-ass club	130	50 Mus	2-handed club	Weapon Damage+15 Monster Level +10 Bonus for Seal Clubbers only
sword behind inappropriate prepositions	130	45 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +7 +5 Extra Rollover Adventures
titanium assault umbrella	130	50 Mus	1-handed umbrella	Slight Resistance to All Elements
crazy bastard sword	125	25 Mus	1-handed sword	An ultra-rare item +7 Extra PvP Fights Weapon Damage +15 +2% Critical Hit Chance
curmudgel	125	47 Mus	1-handed club	Monster Level +8 Weapon Damage +10
Grimacite glaive	125	47 Mus	2-handed polearm	A prize from The Raffle House Weapon Damage +15 Muscle +0-50% based on Grimace darkness
meatspout staff	125	45 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7 +3 Extra Rollover Adventures +15% Meat from Monsters
pitchfork	125	47 Mus	1-handed spear	Weapon Damage +9
shuddersword	125	45 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +7 Spell Damage +7 +5 Spooky Damage
smoldering staff	125	45 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7 Moxie +5 +11 Damage to Stench Spells
asbestos sword	120	45 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +7 Mysticality +5
buffalo blade	120	45 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +5 +3 Hot Damage +2 Sleaze Damage
giant cheesestick	120	45 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +5 +11 Damage to Sleaze Spells
lawnmower blade	120	45 Mus	2-handed sword	Weapon Damage +15
linoleum staff	120	45 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7 Spell Damage +7
Ruby Rod	120	40 Mus	1-handed rod	Quest item
two-handed depthsword	120	45 Mus	2-handed sword
old school Mafia knicke½æ	117	41 Mys	1-handed sword	Ranged Damage +27
lupine sword	115	42 Mus	1-handed sword	+9 Spooky Damage +9 additional Spooky Damage if a snarling wolf shield is equipped
ram stick	115	42 Mus	2-handed staff	Moxie +5
serpentine sword	115	42 Mus	1-handed sword	Monster Level +10 Monster Level +10 more if wielded with a snake shield
chrome staff	110	40 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7 +3 Extra Rollover Adventures
linoleum sword	110	40 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +7 Spell Damage +7
machetito	110	40 Mus	1-handed sword	Weapon Damage +9
mannequin leg	110	40 Mus	1-handed club	+20 Sleaze Damage Moxie +5 Bonus for Seal Clubbers only
asbestos staff	100	35 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7 Moxie +5
bamboo bokuto	100	35 Mus	1-handed sword
big stirring stick	100	35 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +5 Spell Damage +5
bow staff	100	35 Mus	2-handed staff	Part of the Bow Tux Mysticality +5 Weapon Damage +3
chrome sword	100	35 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +7 +3 Extra Rollover Adventures
Crimbomination Contraption	100	None	2-handed club
Crimbo sword	100	35 Mus	2-handed sword	Part of the Crimbo Duds Weapon Damage +5
depleted Grimacite hammer	100	35 Mus	2-handed club	Monster Level +0-25 based on Grimace darkness Required for depleted Grimacite smithing
duck-on-a-string	100	35 Mus	1-handed flail	Weapon Damage +5 +5% Items from Monsters
elven whittling knife	100	35 Mus	1-handed knife	On Critical: Whittles enemy down
giant candy cane	100	None	2-handed staff	+40% Candy Drops from Monsters
haiku katana	100	None	1-handed sword	Muscle +15% Weapon Damage +50% +1% Critical Hit Chance Allows use of The 17 Cuts, Falling Leaf Whirlwind, Spring Raindrop Attack, Summer Siesta, Winter's Bite Technique in combat Cannot equip in Hardcore
ice sickle	100	None	1-handed knife	Monster Level +15 +5 Cold Damage Cannot equip in Hardcore
infernal toilet brush	100	35 Mus	1-handed club	+20 Stench Damage Maximum HP +20 Maximum MP +20 Bonus for Seal Clubbers only
Mafia violin case	100	35 Mus	1-handed club	Prize from the Penguin Mafia Mystery Raffle Muscle +20 Weapon Damage +30
origami riding crop	100	None	1-handed crop	+10 Sleaze Damage Combat Initiative +15% Cannot equip in Hardcore Has a chat effect
ridiculously overelaborate ninja weapon	100	35 Mus	3-handed ...weapon	3x Critical Hit Chance 3x Fumble Chance
roboduck-on-a-string	100	35 Mus	1-handed flail	Weapon Damage +5 +5% Items from Monsters
scratch 'n' sniff sword	100	None	1-handed sword	Actual power can vary with player level Enchantments can be added with stickers
soylent staff	100	35 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +4 Spell Damage +10
spiked femur	100	35 Mus	1-handed club	+6 Spooky Damage
stinky cheese sword	100	None	1-handed sword	Stench Damage based on number of adventures stunk up May not be equipped in Hardcore
sugar shank	100	None	1-handed knife	Weapon Damage +50% On Critical: Cause Opponent to Bleed Breaks after 30 combats
sugar shillelagh	100	None	2-handed club	Weapon Damage +50% Breaks after 30 combats
Super Magic Power Sword X	100	35 Mus	1-handed sword	Muscle +4 Combat Initiative +20% 2x Critical Hit Chance
time sword	100	35 Mus	1-handed sword	Part of the Time Trappings +3 Extra Rollover Adventures
Tropical Crimbo Sword	100	35 Mus	1-handed sword	Part of the Tropical Crimbo Duds Weapon Damage +5
vampire duck-on-a-string	100	35 Mus	1-handed flail	Weapon Damage +5 +5% Items from Monsters
Chelonian Morningstar	90	15 Mus	1-handed flail	Muscle +11 Never Fumble Turtle Tamer's Legendary Epic Weapon Enables the casting of 15-turn Turtle Tamer buffs Bonus for Turtle Tamers only
depleted Grimacite kneecapping stick	90	30 Mus	1-handed club	+0-3% Critical Hit Chance based on Grimace darkness
Hammer of Smiting	90	15 Mus	1-handed club	Muscle +16 3x Critical Hit Chance Seal Clubber's Legendary Epic Weapon Bonus for Seal Clubbers only
icy-hot katana	90	30 Mus	2-handed sword	Part of the Hot and Cold Running Ninja Suit +3 Hot Damage +3 Cold Damage
kneecapping stick	90	30 Mus	1-handed club	3x Critical Hit Chance
ninja mop	90	30 Mus	2-handed polearm	Weapon Damage +5
stainless steel shillelagh	90	30 Mus	1-handed club	Weapon Damage +20 4x Critical Hit Chance Muscle +15% Seal Clubber's Hardcore reward
vorpal blade	90	30 Mus	1-handed sword	Part of the Yendorian Finery 2x Critical Hit Chance
ancient stone fist	85	27 Mus	1-handed club	Damage Reduction: 2 Maximum HP+20
7-Foot Dwarven mattock	80	25 Mus	2-handed axe	Part of the Mining Gear Successful hit weakens opponent.
clockwork sword	80	25 Mus	2-handed sword	Weapon Damage +10 3x Critical Hit Chance Restore 3-24 HP on Critical Hit
corrupt club of corrupt corruption	80	25 Mus	1-handed club	Weapon Damage+9 Bonus for Seal Clubbers only (Also lose 5 HP in combat)
crowbarrr	80	25 Mus	2-handed staff	Combat Initiative +15%
flypaper staff	80	25 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3 Weapon Damage +3 +3 Spooky Damage
frozen nunchaku	80	25 Mus	2-handed flail	Weapon Damage +3 +3 Cold Damage
goblin hunting spear	80	25 Mus	2-handed spear	Weapon Damage +5 +15 Damage vs. Jungle Beasts
grass blade	80	25 Mus	1-handed sword	Part of the Grass Guise Weapon Damage +5
rib of the Bonerdagon	80	25 Mus	2-handed staff	Muscle +5 Mysticality +5 Spell Damage +15
rusty grave robbing shovel	80	25 Mus	2-handed polearm	+5 Spooky Damage Combat Initiative -10%
savory staff	80	25 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +4
savory sword	80	25 Mus	1-handed sword	Muscle +4
severed flipper	80	25 Mus	1-handed club	Muscle+5 Weapon Damage +5 Bonus for Seal Clubbers only
spooky bicycle chain	80	25 Mus	1-handed flail	+5 Spooky Damage 2x Critical Hit Chance
wholeberd	80	25 Mus	2-handed polearm	Weapon Damage +6
elephant stinger	75	22 Mus	2-handed spear	Muscle +3 50% chance of poisoning opponent.
logging hatchet	75	22 Mus	1-handed axe	Weapon Damage +5 Improves lumber drops at The Smut Orc Logging Camp when equipped
pixel morning star	75	22 Mus	1-handed whip	All Attributes +5
squeaky staff	75	22 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3 Monster Level +6
sword of static	75	22 Mus	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 Moxie +2 Regenerate 2-4 MP per Adventure
wiffle-flail	75	22 Mus	2-handed flail	Mysticality +3 Muscle +2 Combat Initiative +20%
25-meat staff	70	20 Mus	2-handed staff
flaming cardboard sword	70	20 Mus	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 Weapon Damage +3 +3 Hot Damage
flamingo mallet	70	20 Mus	2-handed club	Monster Level +4 +5% Meat from Monsters
Frost™ brand sword	70	20 Mus	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 Monster Level +3 +3 Cold Damage
homoerotic frat-paddle	70	20 Mus	1-handed club	Part of the Frat Boy Ensemble +4 Sleaze Damage
Kentucky-fried meat staff	70	20 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +5
Kentucky-fried meat sword	70	20 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +5
Totally Gay Claymore	69	19 Mus	2-handed sword	A custom item given to PhilANThropiSt
BRICKO sword	60	None	2-handed club	Part of the BRICKOfig Outfit Weapon Damage +6
bubblewrap staff	60	15 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3 Muscle +2
bubblewrap sword	60	15 Mus	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 Moxie +2
cardboard staff	60	15 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3 Weapon Damage +3
cardboard sword	60	15 Mus	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 Weapon Damage +3
dense meat staff	60	15 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3
dense meat sword	60	15 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +3
diamond-studded cane	60	15 Mus	1-handed club	Moxie +5 Bonus for Disco Bandits only
eXtreme meat staff	60	15 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +7
eXtreme meat sword	60	15 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +7
flaming crutch	60	15 Mus	1-handed club	+3 Hot Damage
glistening staff	60	15 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +2 +3 Sleaze Damage
Gnollish autoplunger	60	15 Mus	3-handed spear	Mysticality +3
Knob Goblin elite polearm	60	15 Mus	2-handed polearm	Part of the Knob Goblin Elite Guard Uniform Weapon Damage +3
muculent machete	60	15 Mus	1-handed sword	Muscle +2 +5% Meat from Monsters
pair of bolt cutters	60	15 Mus	2-handed club	Successful hit weakens opponent.
sabre teeth	60	15 Mus	1-handed knife	Weapon Damage +4
styrofoam staff	60	15 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3 Monster Level +3
styrofoam sword	60	15 Mus	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 Monster Level +3
wooden axe	60	15 Mus	2-handed axe	Muscle +3
poutine pole	55	12 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3 +3 Sleaze Damage
astral bludgeon	50	None	2-handed club	Muscle +25% Weapon Damage +20 3x Critical Hit Chance
astral mace	50	None	1-handed club	Muscle +25% Weapon Damage +20 +5 Extra PvP Fights
Ax of L'rose	50	None	2-handed axe
balloon sword	50	10 Mus	1-handed sword	Never Fumble Weapon Damage -2
blammer	50	None	1-handed club	3x Critical Hit Chance Successful hit weakens opponent.
Blunt icepick	50	None	1-handed club	+15 Cold Damage
Bjorn's Hammer	50	10 Mus	1-handed club	Muscle +10 Seal Clubber's Epic Weapon Bonus for Seal Clubbers only
clock-cleaning hammer	50	None	1-handed club	+20 Weapon Damage
dripping meat staff	50	10 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +2
dripping meat sword	50	10 Mus	1-handed sword	Muscle +2
fluorescent lightbulb	50	None	1-handed club	Maximum MP +30
Hammerus	50	None	1-handed club	+15 Spooky Damage
inflatable baseball bat	50	None	2-handed club	Weapon Damage +30 Bonus decreases with each use
Knob Goblin deluxe scimitar	50	10 Mus	1-handed sword	Muscle +5
Mace of the Tortoise	50	10 Mus	1-handed mace	Muscle +7 Turtle Tamer's Epic Weapon Enables the casting of 10-turn Turtle Tamer buffs (all classes) Bonus for Turtle Tamers only
pestoblade	50	10 Mus	1-handed sword	Muscle +3 +3 Stench Damage
pixel chain whip	50	10 Mus	1-handed whip	All Attributes +4
pixel sword	50	10 Mus	1-handed sword	Part of the 8-Bit Finery Combat Initiative +15%
poison pen	50	None	1-handed knife	75% chance of poisoning opponent
pottery club	50	None	1-handed club	+5 Hot Damage
sucker tachi	50	None	1-handed sword	Part of the Sucker Samurai Suit Weapon Damage +10
turtleslinger	50	10 Mus	1-handed slingshot	Muscle+7 Bonus for Turtle Tamers only No longer in game
Unionize The Elves sign	50	10 Mus	1-handed club	Successful hit weakens opponent. No longer drops
worm-riding hooks	50	None	2-handed club
gnollish nunchaku	45	7 Mus	2-handed flail	Weapon Damage +4 Replaced by third-hand nunchaku in game
corrupt club of corruption	40	5 Mus	1-handed club	Weapon Damage+5 Bonus for Seal Clubbers only (Also lose 3 HP in combat)
dreadlock whip	40	5 Mus	1-handed whip	+5 Sleaze Damage +5 Stench Damage Monster Level +10
pool cue	40	None	2-handed staff	Moxie +3
rubber axe	40	5 Mus	2-handed axe	+2 Sleaze Damage
starchy staff	40	5 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +3
starchy sword	40	5 Mus	1-handed sword	Muscle +3
suede shortsword	40	5 Mus	1-handed sword
white sword	40	5 Mus	1-handed sword	Muscle +2
Dr. Hobo's scalpel	35	2 Mus	1-handed knife	Weapon Damage +3 +1 Stench Damage
Gnollish flyswatter	35	2 Mus	1-handed club
Gnollish plunger	35	2 Mus	1-handed spear
sealhide whip	35	2 Mus	1-handed whip	+25 Cold Damage
spooky staff	35	2 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +2 +2 Spooky Damage
bat whip	30	None	1-handed whip	Spell Damage +10 Monster Level +5
cardboard katana	30	None	1-handed sword	Weapon Damage +3 Weapon Damage +20 more if dual-wielded with a cardboard wakizashi
cardboard wakizashi	30	None	1-handed sword	Damage Reduction: +2 gives the cardboard katana 20 more Bonus Weapon Damage when dual-wielded
Cloaca-Cola-issue combat knife	30	None	1-handed knife	Restore 0-2 MP on successful hit
evil paper umbrella	30	None	1-handed umbrella	Monster Level +1
grave robbing shovel	30	None	2-handed polearm	+3 Spooky Damage Combat Initiative -10%
halfberd	30	None	1-handed polearm	Weapon Damage +2
huge mirror shard	30	None	1-handed knife	Weapon Damage +5
little paper umbrella	30	None	1-handed umbrella	Spell Damage +1
obsidian dagger	30	10 Mus	1-handed knife	+3 Spooky Damage +3 Stench Damage +3 Hot Damage +3 Cold Damage +3 Sleaze Damage
parasitic claw	30	None	1-handed club	Part of the Mutant Couture Bonus Weapon Damage +player level (capped at 15), or 2x player level with Yuletide Mutations
rattail whip	30	None	1-handed whip	Moxie +5 Monster Level +5
skeleton bone	30	None	1-handed club	+1 Spooky Damage
spooky stick	30	None	2-handed staff	+2 Spooky Damage
tail o' nine cats	30	None	1-handed whip	Combat Initiative +15% Monster Level +5
third-hand nunchaku	30	7 Mus	2-handed flail	Weapon Damage +3
trusty torch	30	None	1-handed club	+3 Hot Damage
Wand of Nagamar	30	None	1-handed wand
palm-frond whip	25	None	1-handed whip	Part of the Palmist Paraphernalia Weapon Damage +30 Can break in combat
wooden stakes	25	None	2-handed spear	Weapon Damage +1
basic meat staff	20	5 Mus	2-handed staff	Mysticality +1
basic meat sword	20	5 Mus	2-handed sword	Muscle +1
club of corruption	20	None	1-handed club	Weapon Damage+3 Bonus for Seal Clubbers only (Also lose 1 HP in combat)
dishrag	20	None	1-handed whip	+3 Stench Damage
fouet de tortue-dressage	20	None	1-handed whip	+10 to Familiar Weight +10 to Familiar Damage Available to Turtle Tamers only Quest Item
gnauga hide whip	20	None	1-handed whip	Part of the Gnauga Hides +3% Items from Monsters
hippo whip	20	None	1-handed whip	Monster Level +10
penguin whip	20	None	1-handed whip	+3% Meat from Monsters
scorpion whip	20	None	1-handed whip	Weapon Damage +13 50% chance of poisoning enemy on hit
sweet ninja sword	20	None	1-handed sword
tiny ninja sword	20	None	1-handed sword	Moxie +1
yak whip	20	None	1-handed whip	Successful hit weakens opponent.
asparagus knife	15	None	1-handed knife	+1 Stench Damage
Knob Goblin scimitar	15	None	1-handed sword	Muscle +1
soup-chucks	15	None	2-handed flail	+2 Hot Damage
wumpus-hair whip	15	None	1-handed whip	Part of the Wumpus-Hair Wardrobe +2 Spooky Damage +2 Stench Damage +2 Hot Damage +2 Cold Damage +2 Sleaze Damage
bar whip	10	None	1-handed whip	+2 to Familiar Weight
big stick	10	None	2-handed staff
bucket of anniversary lard	10	None	1-handed flail	All Attributes +1
can-you-dig-it?	10	None	1-handed spade	+ ???
candy knuckles	10	None	1-handed knuckles	Weapon Damage +25 Breaks after 31 combats
chisel	10	None	1-handed knife
clown hammer	10	None	1-handed club	Squeaky!
clown whip	10	None	1-handed whip	So-So Sleaze Resistance
cool whip	10	None	1-handed whip
costume sword	10	None	1-handed sword	Weapon Damage -10 Combat Initiative +30%
demon whip	10	None	1-handed whip	+3 Hot Damage +3 Sleaze Damage +3 Stench Damage
KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat	10	None	2-handed club	Maximum HP +10 Maximum MP +10 Regenerate 1-3 HP per Adventure Regenerate 1-3 MP per Adventure Cannot equip in Hardcore
live wire	10	None	1-handed whip	Weapon Damage +3 Regenerate 2-3 MP per Adventure
pixel whip	10	None	1-handed whip	All Attributes +3
seal-clubbing club	10	None	1-handed club
stuffed crazy bastard sword	10	None	1-handed sword
tiny plastic sword	10	None	1-handed sword	Moxie +1
turtle totem	10	None	1-handed totem
white whip	10	None	1-handed whip	+1 Stat(s) Per Fight

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