G-Lover/Strategy

This guide will provide some additional information to aid with a G-Lover ascension.

Astral Consumables & Equipment

Astral options are greatly limited in this challenge path. Of the two consumables, only the astral hot dog remains usable. Between equipment, choices are limited to the astral bludgeon, astral longbow and astral ring. The weapons are two-handed, so if they're used, a KoL Con 13 snowglobe can't be equipped, which probably leaves the ring as the only decent choice, if only for quality of life. If you try to take G-less astral consumables or astral pets, you'll get a warning before you re-enter the Kingdom for a G-Lover run.

Moon Sign

Slightly different tradeoffs are available in this path. Note that you cannot tune to a 2nd moon sign.

• Knoll sign: (Mus: +20% wdmg; Mys: +20% sdmg; Mox: +20% init & +20 max HP/MP)
  • Easy bitchin' meatcar Desert access, and instant Untinker access
  • Easy access to cooking supplies, and breadcar fuel (other signs' usual alternative of all-purpose flower is unusable)
  • (detuned radio is unusable)
• Little Canadia: (Mus: +5 fam wt; Mys: +5 adv/day from food; Mox: +1 clover/day)
  • Chez Snootée food is available (regardless of G-ness)
  • Free logging axe
  • Bonus ML available
• The Gnomish Gnomad Camp: (Mus: +20% meat; Mys: +5 adv/day from booze; Mox: +10% items)
  • Gnomish Micromicrobrewery booze is available (regardless of G-ness), though you'd need to purchase a bus pass first
  • Bonus ML available, though again you need Desert access first

Classes

• Only active skills are subject to the G limitation. You still have your passive skills, even if you don't love them.

Muscle Classes

• Muscle-based combat remains viable, allowing victory without using any skills.
• The LOV Eardigan (from The Tunnel of L.O.V.E.) still functions.
• Madame Zatara’s Relationship Fortune Teller daily Muscle buff remains usable with a VIP Key.

Seal Clubber

• Powerful active skills remain available in this path. This class is the most recommended choice for this challenge path, especially for low-perm players.
• A seal clubber wielding a club and using a smack will always hit.
• Class-specific - Infernal Seals can be summoned daily due to all figurines being usable, allowing for some free fights and substats.
• Relevant active skills
  • Lunge Smack lets SC automatically hit with clubs (such as your starter weapon, or other clubs available) for the low low cost of 1 MP.
  • Tongue of the Walrus is one of the only two healing skills for this path. And can remove negative effects, not that most of the effects it can remove have Gs anyway.
  • Lunging Thrust-Smack is a smack, costs 8MP. For seal clubbers wielding a club it auto hits, if not wielding a club it increases hit chance as if you had +30% mus. SC also get triple their buffed weapon damage (including strength bonus and elemental damage). For other classes it only triples the weapon's base damage.
  • Rage of the Reindeer buffs mus +10% and weapon damage +10 at the cost of 1 MP/adv

Turtle Tamer

• Doesn't have any active combat skills during this path. Relying entirely on permed skills or basic attacks.
• Blessings remain available for their base bonus, but the combat skill effects they give can't be used. Other classes cannot benefit from them in this path since other classes get Disdain instead of Blessing.
• Class-specific - While Turtle Taming still works, very few turtles or effects contain Gs.
• Barrel of Laughs (from the shrine to the Barrel god) can provide up to +10 turns/day.
• Relevant active skills:
  • Ghostly Shell gives +80 Damage Absorption buff for 6 MP whose duration is based on your totem quality. Useful for all classes, but other classes will need to pull a quality totem from hangk, otherwise they will be stuck with 5 turn duration by getting a basic turtle totem from chewing gum on a string
• Relevant passive skills:
  • Amphibian Sympathy gives a passive +5 to Familiar Weight. Useful for all classes. If you use a fairy type familiar it adds roughly 10% Item Drops.
  • Tao of the Terrapin: Doubles Power of hats and pants for the purpose of Damage Absorption, which is significant for survival.

Mysticality Classes

• The weeping willow wand (from Your SpinMaster™ lathe) still functions.
• Madame Zatara’s Relationship Fortune Teller daily Mysticality buff remains usable with a VIP Key.
• FantasyRealm Mage's Hat still functions.

Pastamancer

• Spaghetti Spear (level 0, 0MP, 8 damage hardcap) is the only damage dealing spell they have. They must rely on permed skills from other classes, or on weapon attacks using their sub par moxie (ranged) or muscle (melee).
• Retain easy access to a stun; is the only class that does so.
• Lasagna Bandages is one of the only two healing skills that work in this path.
• Class-specific - Most Pasta Thralls can be summoned and used, but the important Muscle equalizing and Moxie equalizing ones are not, which is particularly painful due to the lack of attack spells.
• Relevant active skills: Spaghetti Spear, Entangling Noodles, Lasagna Bandages, Springy Fusilli, Bind Angel Hair Wisp, Bind Spaghetti Elemental, Bind Lasagmbie, Spirit of Garlic, Spirit of Bacon Grease, Bind Spice Ghost

Sauceror

• Saucegeyser is the only attack spell available. Very powerful, but very expensive at 24 MP a use. The absence of both Soul Food and Curse of Weaksauce makes fueling this strategy costly. Having access to magical mystery juice helps somewhat.
• Class-specific - The only way to use soul sauce is through Soul Finger, only useful to weaken monsters.
• Relevant active skills: Icy Glare, Advanced Saucecrafting, Soul Finger, Saucegeyser, Blood Sugar Sauce Magic
• Note that the only basic reagent potion that is usable is the Milk of magnesium.

Moxie Classes

• Moxie-based combat remains viable, allowing victory without using any skills.
• The LOV Earrings (from The Tunnel of L.O.V.E.) still function.
• The beechwood blowgun (from Your SpinMaster™ lathe) still functions, though its Poison Dart skill does not.
• FantasyRealm Rogue's Mask still functions.
• Pickpocket remains usable.

Disco Bandit

• Class-specific - Due to having only once disco dance, Disco Momentum is of little use.
• Relevant active skills: Disco Dance II: Electric Boogaloo, Advanced Cocktailcrafting, Tango of Terror

• While having both Advanced Cocktailcrafting and Superhuman Cocktailcrafting will help to some degree, viable cocktails are limited to the following:
  • Advanced Cocktails (require a mixer): fruity girl swill (swill + LPU), horizontal tango ((soda water + wine) + LPU), rockin' wagon ((olive + vodka) + MIC), and SGEEA martini (rockin' wagon + SGEEA)
  • Improved Mixed Drinks (require 2 uses of Nash Crosby's Still): vodka gibson (olive⁺ + vodka⁺), gibson (olive⁺ + gin⁺), and gin and tonic (soda water⁺ + gin⁺)
  • Superhuman Cocktails (require both a mixer and the Still): Gordon Bennett ((orange⁺ + wine⁺) + LPU), gimlet ((soda water⁺ + gin⁺) + LPU), and tangarita ((grapefruit⁺ + tequila⁺) + MIC)

Accordion Thief

• Very few accordion songs remain usable. Their usual advantages are diminished as a result.
• Class-specific - Steal Accordion is not usable.
• Beer Barrel Polka (from the shrine to the Barrel god) can provide up to +10 turns/day.
• The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder is technically usable if you can reach level 15, but moxie class leveling may be too poor for this to be feasible.
• Relevant active skills: The Moxious Madrigal, Magical Mojomuscular Melody, Suspicious Gaze, Knowing Smile, Dirge of Dreadfulness

Quest Progression

• You cannot use the Spooky Temple map, so you'll have to talk to "Dakota" Fanning in order to unlock The Hidden Temple. This means spending a fat loot token on a sewing kit (fat loot tokens are 1/day without IOTMs or pulls, plan accordingly). You will also have to spend turns in The Haunted Conservatory. Finally, you'll have to fight at least 3 Fallen Archfiends to acquire the heavy-duty bendy straw, either before closing the Friar's gate, or afterwards in the Pandamonium Slums (very swingy, try to avoid doing this).
  • You cannot get the heavy-duty bendy straw before speaking to Dakota Fanning. It is recommended that you delay adventuring in The Dark Heart of the Woods until that point (mainstat 35).
• Neither the pool cue nor the handful of hand chalk are usable, which may delay acquisition of the library key unless compensated for beforehand (via optimal drunkenness, lifetime pool skill and practice).

Level 4

• You cannot use the sonar-in-a-biscuit; you must fight 3 Screambats.

Level 5

• Note that using the Cobb's Knob map will cause you to lose all of your hit points and get Beaten Up.
• The Knob Goblin Elite Guard Uniform route is less appealing, for the Dispensary is only good for Knob Goblin seltzer and Knob Goblin pet-buffing spray.
  • While the Knob Goblin nasal spray and Knob Goblin eyedrops are technically usable, the buffs they provide do not contain Gs.

Level 7

• Although you cannot use the evilometer to determine quest progression, correct information is still available in the Quest Log.
• You cannot use evil eyes, which means that The Defiled Nook will take the full 26 turns.
  • This can be cut in half with a gravy boat equipped (must be pulled), while Nightmare Fuel from the SongBoom™ BoomBox significantly speeds up the quest as well.

Level 9

• Smut orc keepsake boxes are unusable, but loadstone still provides extra fasteners (logging hatchet also works as normal).
• You must use crude oil congealer in order to make a jar of oil, which requires 3 Gs.
  • Otherwise, the only other option is to spend 50 adventures in Twin Peak in order to burn it down.
• You must use A-Boo glue in order to make A-Boo clues usable, which require 1 G each.
  • Otherwise, you need to fight up 49 ghosts in A-boo Peak to complete this location.

Consider spending all 3 of your starting Gs on the congealer on your first G-Lover ascension, and then buy glue with Gs earned in subsequent runs.

Level 10

• Since the enchanted bean is not usable directly, you must click on the coffee grounds in The Nearby Plains to reach The Penultimate Fantasy Airship.
• The amulet of extreme plot significance, mohawk wig and titanium assault umbrella continue to function for their respective castle shortcuts.

Level 11

• You cannot use the Reassembled Blackbird familiar, but you can still paste one and have it give extra exploration.
• You cannot use stone wool, so you'll have to adventure to encounter noncombats in The Hidden Temple.
  • Alternatively, if you have a genie bottle, you can wish for the Stone-Faced effect, which will send you to Fitting In as it normally does.
• The antique machete still works as normal for skipping dense liana fights.
• You cannot use a book of matches to find The Hidden Tavern, which means no Bowls of Scorpions for drunk pygmies nor Cursed Punch to boost your curse level. You will have to find three pygmy shamans instead.
• Neither the lynyrd musk nor the lynyrd snare are usable, which will slow down the process of clearing A Mob of Zeppelin Protesters somewhat.
• You cannot use the disposable instant camera. You must fight 9 dudes (Bob Racecar, Racecar Bob, or Drab Bard) in order to get a photograph.
• Note that using both "I Love Me, Vol. I" and "2 Love Me, Vol. 2" will cause you to lose all of your hit points and get Beaten Up.
• You can still create and throw the wine bomb, Dramatic™ range has a G and the unstable fulminate charges up normally.
• You cannot use the drum machine to gain 30% desert exploration, but the UV-resistant compass functions as normal.
• Since there is no need to collect worm-riding manual pages, it is possible to adventure in The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert without being hydrated.
  • Due to how the path works, several of the debuffs normally obtained will not function. Of the ones that do, Barking Dogs and Tenuous Grip on Reality will likely need to be dealt with, but Prestidigysfunction can be safely ignored.

Level 12

• You cannot use rock band flyers or jam band flyers, so you cannot Advertise for the Mysterious Island Arena.
• You cannot use chaos butterfly to speed up Defowl the Farm.
• Although the other 4 war sidequests work normally, beware that your item and meat drop bonuses are significantly reduced.

Naughty Sorceress' Lair

• For fighting your shadow, you should use gauze garters primarily. You can finish it off using 5 picked up during the island war, or fewer depending on other allowed healing items and your ability to survive extra rounds of this fight. Plan accordingly! You will run into significant problems otherwise, especially in hardcore. Red pixel potions and filthy poultices both do not work, and plaid bandages cannot be crafted. The only real alternatives are green pixel potions (only viable with funkslinging, and you will still need 8 of them) and scented massage oil (unreliably acquirable semi-rare).
  • Doc Galaktik sells healing items with his glorious name, but not his Ailment Ointment. What he does sell is only good for a final bit of plinking.

Mr. Store Items

The functionality of many Mr. Store items have been impacted by the dependence on Gs, rendering some especially important, while some others become greatly inhibited as a result.

Note that this list only includes items that are in standard at the time when this challenge was restricted as such.

• The Snojo - The free daily fights still function as usual, and the Training belt, training helmet and training legwarmers equipment drops remain usable. However, the consumables are not.
  • Of the combat skills (which can be purchased from the mall), Shattering Punch remains usable, but Snokebomb does not.
• LT&T telegraph office deed - your cowboy boots provide no enchantments and Cowboy Kick cannot be used.
  • Bow-Legged Swagger (which can be purchased from the mall) remains usable.
• Witchess Set - Jumping horseradish is edible, but its effect does not function. Greek fire is useless.
• Intergnat - Provides item drops, MP restoration, demon summoning components (which can be sold for meat) and a buff that decreases combat frequency via Rational Thought. While the Internet Meme Shop can be accessed via /go meme, only the gallon of milk and daily dungeon malware are usable. Summoning the Intergnat demon can prove useful; ratchet, machete, cigarette lighter, and star chart are all helpful (especially when Space Jellyfish can't find an astronomer for you)
• Source Terminal - Only Digitize and Damage.enh function in this path, greatly limiting its overall effectiveness. However, the lack of Olfaction as well as the limited sources of banishing make Digitize even more valuable than usual, and the extra prismatic damage can help with the Tavern, the Lair, or hitting things in general.
  • Hacked gibson can be consumed in softcore, but being unable to use Extract means no hardcore availability.
• Detective school application - Hardboiled egg is edible, but its effect does not function. Shoe gum is another option for -com%, and enchantments on any given badge still works as usual.
• Protonic accelerator pack - Is equippable, but as it has no 'G's, none of its enchantments function. In fights, its anti-ghost functions are usable as usual: gives bonus stats for busting ghosts with Trap Ghost, and drops psychokinetic energy blobs which work in path for MP restoration. Many special ghost items contain 'G's, and are useful in Hardcore, such as ghostly reins being available by mid/late day 2, viable to save for day 3.
• Time-Spinner - This IotM does not function at all in this challenge path.
• Trick-or-Treating Tot - Can be used for HP/MP restoration. However, only the li'l knight costume and li'l ghost costume apply their effects, neither of which are particularly accessible or helpful.
• Thanksgarden - Due to the cornucopia not being usable, it is of no use in a hardcore ascension.
  • Gravy boat and stuffing fluffer remain usable, and can be pulled in a softcore ascension.
• Gingerbread City - No Sweet Synthesis means that the candy acquired here is substantially less useful.
• Space Jellyfish - This IotM does not function at all in this challenge path.
• The Tunnel of L.O.V.E. - Of the LOV Equipment, the LOV Eardigan and LOV Earrings remain functional. Of the LOV effects, Open Heart Surgery and Wandering Eye Surgery remain functional for boosting Familiar Weight and Item Drops respectively. LOV Enamorang is among the more useful of gift shop items, and the free fights don't hurt either.
• Robortender - This IotM does not function at all in this challenge path.
• Spacegate - None of the ascension-relevant are buffs are usable, limiting its usefulness in this challenge path.
  • Disintegrate (which can be purchased from the mall) remains usable, and is the only Standard-legal yellow ray in this path.
• New-You Club Membership Form - Only Adapt to Change Eventually and Always be Collecting can be used.
• Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase - Most of its buffs are useless, although Goldentongue and The Living Hitpoints work. Toggling between briefcase +adv, +ML, and -com% enchantments is the best use of this item.
• Asdon Martin - As all of its effects revolve around driving, it remains almost completely usable in this path. In particular, it offers one of the few ways of reliably manipulating Combat Frequency.
  • Of the combat applications, the Asdon Martin: Bean Bag Cannon stagger and Asdon Martin: Spring-Loaded Front Bumper banish both function normally, while the Asdon Martin: Missile Launcher disintegrate does not.
  • Though you find Food and Booze without a G to be too unpalatable to consume, your car remains way less picky and will be easier to keep above 'E' than usual.
• Meteor Lore - None of its skills, nor item drops, are usable in this path. Its occasional meat, item and substat bonuses still function, though.
• genie bottle - Wishes remain usable, allowing for fights on demand as well as the possibility of acquiring helpful buffs and effects. In fact, some effects can only be acquired through wishes in this path, such as Ode to Booze and Stone-Faced. The dragon scale mail also functions normally, providing quality of life and elemental resistance for some particular tasks.
  • Beware that pocket wishes are not usable!
• XO Skeleton - This IotM does not function at all in this challenge path.
• Portable pantogram - Completely unchanged, because every version of the pants are still treated as pantogram pants.
• Mumming trunk - Completely unchanged, conveying some useful item, meat and substat bonuses where they may be lacking otherwise.
  • Intergnat is notable for being both an animal that bites (+4 muscle substat and stagger) and an eyed creature that flies (+4 mysticality and always get the jump), making it a great target given its suggested extensive use frequency.
• January's Garbage Tote - Some of the most powerful items, the broken champagne bottle and the makeshift garbage shirt are usable.
• Tall Grass - Only the Egnaro berry, Glum berry and the Razor fang function in this challenge path. The Razor fang, in particular, provides +10 weight and a stagger, but the randomness of what you get makes this unreliable even with up to 4 attempts per day via fertilizer.
• FantasyRealm - The FantasyRealm Mage's Hat, FantasyRealm Rogue's Mask are usable.
  • Expert Corner-Cutter (which can be purchased from the mall) is helpful for saving turns when cooking / mixing high-level items. Noteworthy for making milk, the Knob cake, the wine bomb and possible advanced cocktails.
• God Lobster - Provides a great variety of functionality, and given that all of its items and effects revolve around the God Lobster, they remain fully functional in this challenge path (with the exception of the Dish of Clarified Butter, not that it has much utility anyway).
• SongBoom™ BoomBox - Completely functional in G-Lover. In particular, Nightmare Fuel is important for extra Evilometer beeps and speeding up the otherwise 25-turn Defiled Nook. Additional fuel is still good for the rest of The Cyrpt. Food Vibrations helps with acquiring important food items such as the glass of goat's milk and wet stew components, while its associated Special Seasoning may allow players to push for daycount. Finally, Total Eclipse of Your Meat and the associated Gathered Meat-Clip gives a cash-strapped day 1 some more breathing room.
• Cat Burglar - Full-weight Fairychaun (meat bonus is twice as good as Scepter Lobster) that can grab items from monsters you have fought recently, like if the Time-Spinner had a baby with the XO Skeleton. Helpful for monsters that only have one relevant drop (Burly Sidekick for mohawk wig or a wished banshee librarian for killing jar), or just in general as an extra pseudo-YR.
  • For example, Exterminate the Filthworm Infestation subquest can be done in only 4 turns by using 3 heists to obtain each scent gland after each fight (hatchling, drone, royal) and then fighting the queen.
• Bastille Battalion control rig - Completely functional in G-Lover. Can be used daily for a powerful accessory of your choice, a 100 turn buff (Bastille Braggadocio is best for the meat and initiative bonuses) and 250 bonus substats to an attribute of your choosing.

• Clan VIP Lounge key - It still remains effective, but some of the more recent furniture additions have lost some of their effectiveness.
  • Given that many healing abilities such as Disco Power Nap and Cannelloni Cocoon are not usable, the Hot Tub becomes more valuable for early-game restoration as a result.
  • Unfortunately, none of the Clan Floundry items contain Gs, rendering the floundry useless for this path. Their item-producing uses (e.g. drain spit) do not function either.
  • Madame Zatara’s Relationship Fortune Teller retains some functionality, as its Familiar, Muscle and Mysticality buffs are usable, as are any of the Genie Garments outfit pieces.
  • Additionally, three of its skills remain useful: Get Big, Gallapagosian Mating Call and Inscrutable Gaze. These can be purchased from the mall.
• Rockin' Robin - This IotY does not function at all in this challenge path.
• Optimistic Candle - This IotY does not function at all in this challenge path.
• Garbage Fire - Although the burning newspaper is still usable to provide some decent equipment (all of which are usable due to being burning), none of the consumables are usable.
• KoL Con 13 snowglobe - Although unreliable, you may get lucky and get some good food/booze, which can be hard to come by in hardcore. The minor substat bonuses don't hurt either, especially since there aren’t many good choices for off-hand items.
• Potted tea tree - While the path is under Standard restrictions, tea is not usable, but autoselling the tea from shaking is good for 90 Meat per day.

Familiars

The most valuable familiars for this challenge path are likely as followed. Note that even if the familiar contains a 'G', its functionality may be limited depending on the effects / items it provides.

• Jumpsuited Hound Dog - Provides the most substantial item drop bonus available to a familiar in this path, as well a source of increased combat frequency that might be otherwise difficult to acquire.
• Slimeling - Between item drops, equipment pickpocketing and MP restoration, it is a useful, well-rounded familiar. Note that the slime stack cannot be used in this path.
• Gelatinous Cubeling - All of its drops that speed up the Daily Dungeon are fully functional in this path.
• Intergnat - The Internet Meme Shop can be accessed via /go meme. However, your choices are limited to the gallon of milk and daily dungeon malware, yet both of which are valuable in speed ascension regardless. The Intergnat also provides item drops, MP restoration, demon summoning components and a buff that decreases combat frequency via Rational Thought., making it a solid choice for most of the ascension.
• Disgeist - If you are having trouble decreasing combat frequency, this familiar can be of use.
• God Lobster - Provides a great variety of functionality, and given that all of its items and effects revolve around the God Lobster, they remain fully functional in this challenge path (with the exception of the Dish of Clarified Butter, not that it has much utility anyway).
• Cat Burglar - In particular, it is the only full-weight leprechaun-type familiar available for this path. The heist mechanic is also useful in many areas.

Post-season:

• Artistic Goth Kid - Burns delay with free black crayon fights; crayon shavings still work
• Baby Bugged Bugbear - With the bugged balaclava, provides another valuable source of +ML
• Pair of Stomping Boots - Free runaways, but cannot stomp
• Grim Brother - Volleychaun that drops (useable) spleen items
• Grimstone Golem - Fairychaun that drops a grimstone mask after 40-50 combats

List of available familiars

Note that this list only includes familiars that are in standard at the time when this challenge path was restricted as such.

#	Familiar	Type	Full Effect	Availability	Notes
3	Levitating Potato	Combat	Blocks attacks	Created / Mall
4	Angry Goat	Combat	Attacks enemies	Created / Mall
9	Howling Balloon Monkey	Combat	Attacks enemies, restores MP	Created / Mall	Only acts when weight is at least 11 lb.
11	Grue	Combat	Attacks enemies, restores MP	Strange leaflet	Does not act if the moons are too bright.
14	Ghuol Whelp	Combat	Restores HP/MP after combat	Created / Mall
15	Baby Gravy Fairy	Items	Increases item drops	Created / Mall
18	Hovering Sombrero	Stats	Increases stat gains from fights based on the monster's ML.	Created / Mall
19	Ghost Pickle on a Stick	Combat	Attacks & delevels enemies	Created / Mall
21	Whirling Maple Leaf	Combat	Attacks, restores MP after combat	Created / Mall
32	Clockwork Grapefruit	Combat	Attacks enemies	Created / Mall
33	MagiMechTech MicroMechaMech	Combat	Attacks enemies	Created / Mall
34	Flaming Gravy Fairy	Items + Combat	Increases item drops, attacks enemies	Created / Untradable	Possible reward from Summon a Mushroom Familiar.
35	Frozen Gravy Fairy	Items + Combat	Increases item drops, attacks enemies	Created / Untradable	Possible reward from Summon a Mushroom Familiar.
36	Stinky Gravy Fairy	Items + Combat	Increases item drops, attacks enemies	Created / Untradable	Possible reward from Summon a Mushroom Familiar.
37	Spooky Gravy Fairy	Items + Combat	Increases item drops, attacks enemies	Created / Untradable	Acquired from mushroom farming.
49	Sleazy Gravy Fairy	Items + Combat	Increases item drops, attacks enemies	Created / Untradable	Acquired from mushroom farming.
51	Wind-up Chattering Teeth	Combat	Attacks enemies	Created / Mall	A gift item.
60	Origami Towel Crane	Combat	Blocks attacks, absorbs damage	Created / Mall
69	Jumpsuited Hound Dog	Items + Special	Increases item drops, increases combat frequency	Created / Untradable	Must be purchased from the Bounty Hunter Hunter for 100 filthy lucre.
71	Ragamuffin Imp	Combat	Attacks enemies	Created / Untradable	Acquired from the Summoning Chamber
81	El Vibrato Megadone	Combat	Varied combat functionality depending on programming	Created / Untradable	Acquired from El Vibrato Island, and requires El Vibrato punchcards to tune its functionality. Does nothing otherwise.
86	Pet Cheezling	Combat	Restores HP/MP after combat	Created / Untradable	Reward from Me and My Nemesis More effective when used by a Sauceror.
104	Magic Dragonfish	Special	Increases spell damage	Created / Mall	Can breathe underwater. More effective underwater.
106	Midget Clownfish	Combat	Attacks enemies, restores MP	Created / Mall	Can breathe underwater. More effective underwater.
108	Grinning Turtle	Stats	Increases stat gains from fights	Created / Mall
112	Slimeling	Items + Special	Increases item drops (especially equipment), restores MP when fed	Untradable	Acquired from the Slimetube. Slime stack drop is not usable.
116	Grouper Groupie	Items	Increases item drops	Created / Mall	Can breathe underwater.
142	Smiling Rat	Stats	Increases stat gains from fights	Created / Mall
163	Hovering Skull	Stats + Combat	Increases stat gains from fights, attacks enemies	Created / Untradable	Obtainable from a Zombie Slayer ascension.
171	Gelatinous Cubeling	Items + Combat + Special	Increases item drops, delevels enemies, drops items after combat	Created / Mall	Drops items that reduce adventure cost in the Daily dungeon. Some miscellaneous item drops are not usable in this path.
175	Mechanical Songbird	Items	Increases item drops	Created / Mall	More effective in Dreadsylvania.
180	Miniature Sword & Martini Guy	Stats + Combat	Increases stat gains from monsters, attacks enemies	Untradable	Acquired from an anniversary gift box after playing for 11 years.
203	Intergnat	Items + Special	Increases item drops, drops BACON and provides greatly varied functionality	Mr. Store	Functionality is somewhat limited in this challenge path; most Internet Meme Shop items are not usable.
203	Software Bug	Nothing	Does nothing	Created / Mall
206	Trick-or-Treating Tot	Combat + Special	Restores HP/MP after combat, wears costumes for additional benefits	Mr. Store	Functionality is severely limited in this challenge path; only two mediocre costumes are usable.
214	Garbage Fire	Items + Combat + Special	Increases item drops, restores HP/MP after combat, drops various items	Mr. Store	Functionality is somewhat limited in this challenge path; only its burning newspaper drop is usable.
262	Disgeist	Special	Decreases Combat Frequency	Created / Mall
266	God Lobster	Stats + Special	Increases stat gains from monsters, provides free fights and other potential abilities	Mr. Store	Fully functional in this challenge path, except for the Dish of Clarified Butter.
267	Cat Burglar	Items + Meat + Special	Increases meat drops, item drops, and can grab items from defeated monsters	Mr. Store	Fully functional in this challenge path.

Softcore Pulls

While most pulls that work for softcore speed ascension strategies remain viable, there are some particular pulls that are ideal to cover some of G-Lover's deficits.

• blessed rustproof +2 gray dragon scale mail: If you do not have a genie bottle, this shirt can be pulled to provide quality of life and elemental resistance for some particular tasks.
• bomb of unknown origin: Removes 10 zeppelin protesters without killing the one you are fighting. Cranking ML allows multiples to be used in a single fight, removing many from the zone.
  • Alternatively, consider pulling lynyrd gear. The fastest possible Red Zepplin involves using 4 clovers while wearing three pieces of gear with the musky effect. This takes a lot of pulls, though.
• crude oil congealer: Unlike other G-Mart items, this one is not a quest item. If collected and stored during previous runs, it can be pulled to save your Gs for other uses.
• gallon of milk: If you do not have an Intergnat, this 15-fullness awesome beverage can be consumed to fill your stomach with a single pull. The associated debuff, while bothersome, is manageable.
• government-issued eyeshade: If you have trouble getting your Pool Skill high enough to finish The Haunted Billiards Room, consider pulling this, as it adds 5 Pool Skill and gives a flat 25 extra damage against ghosts, making the A-boo Peak and the Haunted Billiards Room easier to deal with.
• gravy boat : As the cornucopia cannot be used, this hat can be pulled to speed up the Undefile the Cyrpt Quest.
• hacked gibson: As Extract cannot be used, these can be pulled as one of the best drinks available for this path.
• mafia middle finger ring: An accessory that allows you to Show them your ring, a 60 turn banish (which does not take an adventure) that can be used once per day. Helps in varying locations, such as the Junkyard.
• Numberwang: An accessory that gives +11 monster level, which can help with levelling as well as areas such as the Oil Peak. Also gives HP/MP regeneration, maximum HP/MP, combat initiative, and 5 rollover adventures.
• ring of conflict: An accessory that reduces combat frequency by 5%, which can help if you are unable to reach -25% otherwise.
• stuffing fluffer: As the cornucopia cannot be used, this can be pulled and used to speed up the Mysterious Island Quest in quantities up to 28.

Miscellaneous Modern (circa 2021) Advice

• Clovers still function normally, but cannot be disassembled / reassembled, so you must closet them to preserve them.
• Fortune cookies cannot be consumed, but semirares may still be predicted via drinking Lucky Lindys (from the Clan VIP Speakeasy) or forced via eating optimal dogs (from the Clan VIP Hot Dog Stand) or popping Sunday pills (from the Pill Keeper).
• Transcendent Olfaction is not available. The only functional pseudo-sniff is the very weak Gallapagosian Mating Call (which adds a single extra copy to the zone and does 'not' suppress normal queue rejection).
• There are very few banishers available: the Asdon Martin's bumper, KGB's dart, familiar scrapbook's Show Your Boring Familiar Pictures, and poppers from the Divine libram, as well as the 1/day banishers from the Softcore equipment pulls V mask, stinky cheese, and mafia middle finger ring.
• Due to the general lack of monster control, predictions from the miniature crystal ball (which still functions) may be more crucial than usual.
• Your Mystical Bookshelf can be used to summon from Tomes, Librams, and Grimoires, even if the skill name doesn't contain a G.
• The best available yellow ray is the permable 150-MP skill Disintegrate, which has a 100-turn cooldown. There are also two Tome derivative combat items with 150-turn cooldowns, Golden Light (from The Smith's Tome) and unbearable light (from Tome of Clip Art).
• Ode to Booze can only be reliably obtained by wishing, each use gives you up to 20 more adventures.
• All daily dungeon skillbooks work as usual: Walberg's Dim Bulb, Singer's Faithful Ocelot and Drescher's Annoying Noise. Given the limited sources of +item drops as well as +ML, the latter two are more important than usual.
• All Dreadsylvania songs work as usual: Song of the North, Song of Slowness, Song of Starch, Song of Bravado, and Song of Sauce.
• Although both the spaghetti breakfast and the Cold One can be summoned, only the spaghetti breakfast can be consumed in this path.
• Regarding demon summoning, the Preternatural Greed buff still functions to speed up the Nun sidequest, and is more important than usual.

Combat Frequency

-Combat:

• -10: latte lovers member's mug (offhand) (IOTM), with the upgrade found in The Haunted Library
• -5: Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase (acc) (IOTM), adjusted (for 1-3 clicks) to -CF
• -5: ring of conflict (acc) (Softcore pull)
• -5: pantogram pants (pants) (IOTM), set (1x/day) to -CF
• -X: Disgeist (familiar), X = weight/7.5 (-5% @ 35 lbs, max -10% @ 70 lbs)
• -10: Driving Stealthily (30 turns), by spending 37 fuel at your Asdon Martin (IOTM) workshed
• -5: Dark Horse chosen from the Horsery (Promo) - 500 meat to swap after the first/day
• -5: Strung-Up Quartet ballroom song
• -5: Rational Thought (10 turns), via using an Intergnat (IOTM) to find a "WITH SCIENCE!" monster and casting the no-itemdrop instakill skill
• -5: Gummed Shoes (50 turns), by using shoe gum, purchased for 10 cop dollars at the Precinct Materiel Division (IOTM)
• -5: Silence of the God Lobster (33 turns), by requesting a boon from fighting your God Lobster (IOTM) while it's wearing its twice-upgraded equipment

+Combat:

• +10: latte lovers member's mug (offhand) (IOTM), with the upgrade found in The Dark Heart of the Woods
• +5: pantogram pants (pants) (IOTM), set (1x/day) to +CF
• +5: Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase (acc) (IOTM), adjusted (for 1-3 clicks) to +CF
• +X: Jumpsuited Hound Dog (fam), X = weight/6 (max +5% @ 30 lbs); also a 1.25x fairy
• +10: Driving Obnoxiously (30 turns), by spending 37 fuel at your Asdon Martin (IOTM) workshed
• +5: Color of the God Lobster (33 turns), by requesting a boon from fighting your God Lobster (IOTM) while it's wearing its thrice-upgraded equipment

Monster Level

Although many ways to get Monster Level are unavailable, there are still a few ways to hit 82 for a wine bomb or 100 for Oil Peak, although doing so is essentially restricted to IOTMs only.

• +25: LOV Eardigan (shirt), obtained in The Tunnel of L.O.V.E. (IOTM)
• +25: tinsel tights (pants), folded from January's Garbage Tote (IOTM)
• +15: frigid-ass club (2h weap), crafted by smithing a bad-ass club (obtained from using the 35% drop ingot from the hellseal summonable via the Smacketeria's armored figurine) with a frost-rimed seal hide (35% drop obtained by defeating a cold hellseal, summonable via the figurine found in the Goatlet)
• +6: Cargo Cultist Shorts (acc) (IOTM)
• +25: Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase (acc) (IOTM), adjusted (for 1-3 clicks) to +ML
• +25: training belt (acc), obtained from the Snojo (IOTM) after 11 fights on Muscle mode
• +20: whittled owl figurine (acc), obtained by whittling 10 sticks of firewood at your Distant Woods Getaway Campsite (IOTM)
• +30: hockey stick of furious angry rage (acc) (UR)
• +11: numberwang (acc) (Softcore pull), untradeable, obtained by multi-using 169 dubious peppermints, the (tradeable) Halloween candy corresponding to the Wumpus-Hair Wardrobe
• +10: badge of authority (acc), a 5% drop from Big Wheelin' Twins at Twin Peak
• +20: bugged balaclava (fam eq), equipped on the Baby Bugged Bugbear (IOTM)
• +X: Monster Aggravation Devices, toggeable at will, up to +10 for Gnomads or +11 for Canadia (Knoll signs cannot use the detuned radio)
• +10: Drescher's Annoying Noise (10 turns)
• +25: Driving Recklessly (30 turns), by spending 37 fuel at your Asdon Martin (IOTM) workshed
• +30: Planting a Rabid Dogwood (outdoor), War Lily (indoor), or Blustery Puffball (underground) via the Florist friar (IOTM)
• +20: Lapdog (50 turns), by swimming laps in the Clan VIP (IOTM) Swimming Pool
• +20: Grulched (10 turns), by using fustulent seal grulch, a 35% drop obtained (as a Seal Clubber) by defeating a stench hellseal, summonable via the figurine found in the non-verge Hippy Camp
• +10: Chill Out, Dog (30 turns), by eating a chilly dog (~12 adv/3 full) at the Clan VIP (IOTM) Hot Dog Stand

Items

• +100%: Gettin' the Goods (50 turns), from gaseous gravy (size 1 spleensie), sold for 1 G at G-Mart
• +20X%: Thanksgetting (20X turns), via eating green bean casserole, baked stuffing, thanksgiving turkey, and/or warm gravy (size 2 awesome quality foods, pull)
  • --> +40%: Thanksgot (converted on rollover)
• +75%: Let's Go Shopping! (20 turns), via wishing (IOTM)
• +50%: Clyde's Blessing (20 turns), via The Legendary Beat (reusable, 1x/day, pull), acquired through The Quest for the Legendary Beat (antique record album content)
• +50%: Wandering Eye Surgery (50 turns), obtained in The Tunnel of L.O.V.E. (IOTM)
• +50%: Always be Collecting (50 turns), from the Daily Affirmation, either pulled or received as correspondence (IOTM) on day 1 as a SC or on day 2 as a TT
• +50%: Driving Observantly (30 turns), by spending 37 fuel at your Asdon Martin (IOTM) workshed
• +50%: Sucrose-Colored Glasses (10 turns), from pair of candy glasses (pull)
• +50%: Double Negavision (50 turns), from nega-mushroom wine (size 2 awesome quality booze, pull)
• +40%: Sour Grapes (40 turns), from non-aged vinegar (size 2 awesome quality booze, pull)
• +30%: Finding Stuff (20 turns), from the Cargo Cultist Shorts (IOTM)
• +25%: Video Game Hot Dog (50 turns), from eating a video games hot dog from the VIP Hot Dog Stand (IOTM)
• +25%: Heightened Senses (20 turns), from airborne mutagen, dropped by monsters in The Secret Government Laboratory on Conspiracy Island (IOTM zone) once the 0-0Z-E protocol has been activated
• +25%: Dance of the Sugar Fairy (20 turns), from sugar fairy, created by using a possessed sugar cube, dropped by the Sundae in the Diner on SBB (IOTM zone)
• +25%: Wet and Greedy (100 turns), from goblin water (pull)
• +25%: High-Falutin' (30 turns), from high-end ginger wine (size 2 epic quality booze, untradeable, pull), Gingerbread City content
• +25%: Negavision (50 turns), from nega-mushroom (size 2 awesome quality food, pull)
• +20%: Eagle Eyes (20 turns), from eagle feather, dropped by eagle (@ 15%) in the Mob
• +20%: The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder, by either pulling a recording (20 turns) or casting it (though this requires you be a lvl 15+ AT)

Meat

For doing the Nuns quest:

• +90%: Passives: Nimble Fingers (+20%), 5-D Earning Potential (+20%), Thrift and Grift (+10%), Thief Among the Honorable (+10%), Expert Panhandling (+10%), Gnefarious Pickpocketing (+10%), Budget Conscious (+10%)
• +40%: latte lovers member's mug (offhand) (IOTM), with the upgrade found in The Black Forest
• +50%: LOV Earrings (acc), obtained in The Tunnel of L.O.V.E. (IOTM)
• +30%: gold detective badge (acc), the final detective (IOTM) upgrade
• Leprechaun-type familiars (all IOTM/IOTYs): Ghost of Crimbo Commerce, Cat Burglar, Grimstone Golem, Jitterbug, Chauvinist Pig, Dramatic Hedgehog, Bloovian Groose
  • Leprechaun-type familiars with hands (also all IOTM/IOTYs): Grim Brother, Angry Jung Man, Casagnova Gnome, Cymbal-Playing Monkey, Dancing Frog, Golden Monkey, Knob Goblin Organ Grinder
  • Not a Leprechaun, but has familiar equipment that acts as a 10-lb Leprechaun (= +60.9%): Pet Cheezling
• +15%, or +30% for familiars with hands: mumming trunk (IOTM)
• +40X%: Thanksgetting (20X turns), via pulling and eating green bean casserole, baked stuffing, thanksgiving turkey, and/or warm gravy
  • --> +80%: Thanksgot (converted on rollover)
• +150%: Let's Go Shopping! (20 turns), via wishing (IOTM)
• +100%: Preternatural Greed (30 turns), via demon summoning, the parts for which can be dropped by an Intergnat (IOTM)
• +100%: Always be Collecting (50 turns), from the Daily Affirmation, either pulled or received as correspondence (IOTM) on day 1 as a SC or on day 2 as a TT
• +60%: Good Things Are Coming, You Can Smell It (40 turns), from the Smoldering Clover™ candle, either pulled or received as correspondence (IOTM)
• +50%: Driving Observantly (30 turns), by spending 37 fuel at your Asdon Martin (IOTM) workshed
• +50%: The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder, by either pulling a recording (20 turns) or casting it (though this requires you be a lvl 15+ AT)
• +50%: Boxing Day Glow (100 turns), from body spradium (size-1 spleensie, untradeable), acquired from your Boxing Daycare (IOTM)
• +50%: Egg-stortionary Tactics (20 turns), from black paisley/polka-dot/striped oyster eggs (size-1 spleensies)
• +50%: Big Meat Big Prizes (20 turns), from Meat-inflating powder, dropped by Burgers in the Diner on SBB (IOTM zone)
• +50%: Heightened Senses (20 turns), from airborne mutagen, dropped by monsters in The Secret Government Laboratory on Conspiracy Island (IOTM zone) once the 0-0Z-E protocol has been activated
• +50%: High-Falutin' (30 turns), from high-end ginger wine (size 2 epic quality booze, untradeable, pull), Gingerbread City content
• +30%: SongBoom™ BoomBox (IOTM) set to "Total Eclipse of Your Meat"
  • Also, use Sing Along to add 25 to the monster's base meat drop
• +25%: Traditional Eating (40 turns), from campfire hot dog, created from 1 stick of firewood at Your Campsite Away From Your Campsite (IOTM)
• +25%: Video Game Hot Dog (50 turns), from eating a video games hot dog from the VIP Hot Dog Stand (IOTM)
• +25%: Bastille Braggadocio (100 turns), the moxie buff from Bastille Battalion (IOTM)

Bonus Weapon Damage (Percent)

For the Blech House muscle path:

• +100%: Song of the North (10 turns), from the Dreadsylvania SC/AT cross-class skill
• +100%: Pretending to Pretend (30 turns), from one of the Castle GF noncoms
• +50%: Billiards Belligerence (10 turns), from the VIP Pool Table (IOTM)
• +50%: Feeling Punchy (10 turns), from the Punching Potion, dropped when the SongBoom™ BoomBox (IOTM) is set to "These Fists Were Made for Punchin"
• +50%: Boxing Day Breakfast (50 turns), from glass of raw eggs (size 1 epic quality food, untradeable), acquired from your Boxing Daycare (IOTM)
• +25%: Lack of Body-Building (50 turns), from combing a beach head with Beach Comb (IOTM)
• +15%: Sweet and Green (10 turns), from sugar lime, dropped sometimes by Sugar Fruit Fairy (IOTM)

Bonus Spell Damage (Percent)

For the Blech House myst path:

• +100%: Song of Sauce (10 turns), from the Dreadsylvania Sa/AT cross-class skill
• +100%: Nothing Is Impossible (30 turns), from one of the Castle GF noncoms
• +100%: Night of the Nachos (20 turns), from nachos of the night (size 2 decent quality food)
• +50%: Boxing Day Breakfast (50 turns), from glass of raw eggs (size 1 epic quality food, untradeable), acquired from your Boxing Daycare (IOTM)

Ascension Strategy
Rankings:	HC Skills - HC Familiars - HC IotMs
General:	Class selection - Familiar usage - Lucky adventures
Paths:	BHY - Fist - AoB - BI - ZS - AoJ - BIG! - KOLHS - CA2 - AoSP - SS - HR - Picky - Ed - Random - AoWoL - Source - NA - GN - LtA - L.A.R. - PF - G-Lover - DD
Additional Paths:	DG - 2CRS - KoE - PotP - LKS - GG - Y,Robot - QT - WF - GY - JM - FotD
IotMs:	Tomes - Faxing - Copying - YR - Garden - Correspondent - Workshed - Tea party - Florist