Weapons (by power): Difference between revisions

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imported>Bagatelle
the weapons tables are the fun ones T.T
imported>Bagatelle
new weapons
Line 191: Line 191:
|2-handed spear
|2-handed spear
| 
| 
|-
|[[halibut]]
|200
|85 Mus
|2-handed fish
|
*+100 {{element|Stench}}
*+100 {{element|Sleaze}}
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] <font color="red">-10%</font>
|-
|-
|[[Hodgman's whackin' stick]]
|[[Hodgman's whackin' stick]]
Line 459: Line 468:
*[[Monster Level|Successful hit weakens opponent]]
*[[Monster Level|Successful hit weakens opponent]]
*[[Monster Level]] <font color="red">-10</font>
*[[Monster Level]] <font color="red">-10</font>
|-
|[[charming flute]]
|170
|70 Mox
|2-handed flute
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +8
*+20 [[Bonus Weapon Damage]] vs. Snakes
|-
|-
|[[denim axe]]
|[[denim axe]]
Line 537: Line 554:
*3x [[Critical Hit Chance]]
*3x [[Critical Hit Chance]]
*[[HP Increasers|Maximum HP]] +30
*[[HP Increasers|Maximum HP]] +30
|-
|[[jungle drum]]
|160
|65 Mox
|2-handed drum
|
*+10 {{element|Spooky}}
*So-So {{element|Spooky|Resistance}}
*[[Combat Initiative]] <font color="red">-20%</font>
|-
|-
|[[pointed stick]]
|[[pointed stick]]
Line 566: Line 592:
*2x [[Critical Hit Chance]]
*2x [[Critical Hit Chance]]
*[[Combat Initiative]] <font color="red">-10%</font>
*[[Combat Initiative]] <font color="red">-10%</font>
|-
|[[magilaser blastercannon]]
|155
|62 Mox
|2-handed laser cannon
|
*[[Bonus Ranged Damage]] +15
*+5 {{element|Hot}}
|-
|-
|[[automatic catapult]]
|[[automatic catapult]]
Line 700: Line 734:
|1-handed sword
|1-handed sword
| +2 [[Stat Gains from Fights]] (Myst substat only)
| +2 [[Stat Gains from Fights]] (Myst substat only)
|-
|[[world's smallest violin]]
|150
|60 Mox
|1-handed violin
|
*[[Bonus Ranged Damage]] +5
*+5% [[Meat from Monsters]
*+5 to [[Monster Level]]
|-
|[[a butt tuba]
|145
|57 Mox
|2-handed horn
| +15 {{element|Sleaze}}
|-
|-
|[[batblade]]
|[[batblade]]
Line 713: Line 762:
| +2% [[Meat from Monsters]]
| +2% [[Meat from Monsters]]
|-
|-
|[[gatorskin umbrella]]
|[[armgun]]
|140
|140
|100 Mus
|55 Mox
|1-handed umbrella
|2-handed machine gun
|
|
*Serious {{element|Stench|Resistance}}
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage]] + 10
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +15
*2x [[Critical Hit Chance]]
|-
|-
|[[ridiculously huge sword]]
|[[black kettle drum]]
|140
|55 Mox
|2-handed drum
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +5
*[[HP Increasers|Maximum HP]] +30
*[[MP Increasers|Maximum MP]] +30
|-
|[[gatorskin umbrella]]
|140
|100 Mus
|1-handed umbrella
|
*Serious {{element|Stench|Resistance}}
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +15
|-
|[[ridiculously huge sword]]
|140
|140
|55 Mus
|55 Mus
Line 760: Line 826:
*+10 Damage to {{element|Hot|Spells}}
*+10 Damage to {{element|Hot|Spells}}
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +5
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +5
|-
|[[rave whistle]]
|135
|52 Mox
|1-handed whistle
|
*[[HP Increasers|Maximum HP]] +10
*+10 [[Monster Level]]
|-
|-
|[[Spirit Precipice]]
|[[Spirit Precipice]]
Line 781: Line 855:
|1-handed knife
|1-handed knife
|[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +5
|[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +5
|-
|[[4-dimensional guitar]]
|130
|50 Mox
|2-handed guitar
|
*[[Bonus Ranged Damage]] +7
*3x [[Critical Hit Chance]]
|-
|-
|[[hot cross bow]]
|[[hot cross bow]]
Line 935: Line 1,017:
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +7
*[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +7
*[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +7
*[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +7
|-
|[[ocarina of space]]
|120
|45 Mox
|2-handed flute
|
*All Attributes +4
*[[Bonus Ranged Damage]] +5
*+2 [[Stat Gains from Fights]]
|-
|-
|[[potato pistol]]
|[[potato pistol]]
Line 989: Line 1,080:
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +5
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +5
|-
|-
|[[chrome staff]]
|[[bone flute]]
|110
|40 Mox
|2-handed flute
| +11 {{element|Spooky}}
|-
|[[chrome staff]]
|110
|110
|40 Mus
|40 Mus
Line 1,192: Line 1,289:
*Boost based on Grimace [[moons#Grimacite Equipment|darkness]]
*Boost based on Grimace [[moons#Grimacite Equipment|darkness]]
*Cannot equip in [[Hardcore]]
*Cannot equip in [[Hardcore]]
|-
|[[plastic guitar]]
|100
|35 Mox
|2-handed guitar
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +5
*[[Combat Initiative]] +15%
|-
|-
|[[prehistoric spear]]
|[[prehistoric spear]]
Line 1,411: Line 1,516:
*Part of the [[Yendorian Finery]]
*Part of the [[Yendorian Finery]]
*2x [[Critical Hit Chance]]
*2x [[Critical Hit Chance]]
|-
|[[magic whistle]]
|85
|27 Mox
|1-handed whistle
|
*+4 [[Monster Level]]
*+1 [[Familiar Weight]]
|-
|-
|[[7-Foot Dwarven mattock]]
|[[7-Foot Dwarven mattock]]
Line 1,476: Line 1,589:
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +3
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage|Weapon Damage]] +3
*+3 {{element|Spooky}}
*+3 {{element|Spooky}}
|-
|[[frigid hankyu|frigid hankyū]]
|80
|25 Mox
|2-handed bow
|
*+6 {{element|Cold}}
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +2
|-
|-
|[[frozen nunchaku]]
|[[frozen nunchaku]]
Line 1,587: Line 1,708:
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +2
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +2
*[[MP Restorers|Regenerate]] 2-4 MP per Adventure
*[[MP Restorers|Regenerate]] 2-4 MP per Adventure
|-
|[[ultimate ultimate frisbee]]
|75
|22 Mox
|1-handed frisbee
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +2
*[[Bonus Ranged Damage]] +4
|-
|-
|[[wiffle-flail]]
|[[wiffle-flail]]
Line 1,596: Line 1,725:
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +2
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +2
*[[Combat Initiative]] +20%
*[[Combat Initiative]] +20%
|-
|[[double-barreled sling]]
|70
|20 Mox
|1-handed sling
|
*+5 {{element|Sleaze}}
*Slight {{element|Cold|Resistance}}
|-
|-
|[[25-meat staff]]
|[[25-meat staff]]
Line 1,621: Line 1,758:
*+3 {{element|Cold}}
*+3 {{element|Cold}}
|-
|-
|[[homoerotic frat-paddle]]
|[[hippy bongo]]
|70
|20 Mox
|1-handed drum
| +5 {{element|Stench}}
|-
|[[homoerotic frat-paddle]]
|70
|70
|20 Mus
|20 Mus
Line 1,652: Line 1,795:
|2-handed sword
|2-handed sword
|A [[:Category:Custom Items|custom item]] given to [[PhilANThropiSt]]
|A [[:Category:Custom Items|custom item]] given to [[PhilANThropiSt]]
|-
|[[finger cymbals]]
|65
|17 Mox
|1-handed cymbals
|[[MP Increasers|Maximum MP]] +20
|-
|-
|[[grease gun]]
|[[grease gun]]
Line 1,787: Line 1,936:
|3-handed spear
|3-handed spear
|[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +3
|[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +3
|-
|[[knob bugle]]
|60
|15 Mox
|1-handed horn
|[[Monster Level|Delevels]] on hit
|-
|-
|[[Knob Goblin elite polearm]]
|[[Knob Goblin elite polearm]]
Line 1,854: Line 2,009:
|2-handed axe
|2-handed axe
|[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +3
|[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +3
|-
|[[boxing glove on a spring]]
|55
|12 Mox
|1-handed club
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +3
*[[Bonus Weapon Damage]] +4
*[[Combat Initiative]] +10%
|-
|[[infernal fife]]
|55
|12 Mox
|2-handed flute
| +7 {{element|Hot}}
|-
|-
|[[poutine pole]]
|[[poutine pole]]
Line 1,944: Line 2,114:
*Enables the casting of 10-turn TT buffs (all classes)
*Enables the casting of 10-turn TT buffs (all classes)
*Bonus for [[Turtle Tamer|TT]]s only
*Bonus for [[Turtle Tamer|TT]]s only
|-
|[[office-supply crossbow]]
|50
|10 Mox
|2-handed crossbow
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +3
*[[Bonus Ranged Damage]] +3
|-
|-
|[[Pasta of Peril]]
|[[Pasta of Peril]]
Line 1,962: Line 2,140:
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +3
*[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +3
*+3 {{element|Stench}}
*+3 {{element|Stench}}
|-
|[[pixel boomerang]]
|50
|10 Mox
|1-handed boomerang
| +5% [[Items from Monsters]]
|-
|-
|[[pixel sword]]
|[[pixel sword]]
Line 1,980: Line 2,164:
*Enables the casting of 10-turn AT buffs (all classes)
*Enables the casting of 10-turn AT buffs (all classes)
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
*Bonus for [[Accordion Thief|AT]]s only
|-
|[[tambourine]]
|50
|10 Mox
|1-handed drum
|
*[[HP Increasers|Maximum HP]] +20
*[[MP Increasers|Maximum MP]] +20
|-
|-
|[[Unionize The Elves sign]]
|[[Unionize The Elves sign]]
Line 2,027: Line 2,219:
*+5 {{element|Stench}}
*+5 {{element|Stench}}
*[[Monster Level]] +10
*[[Monster Level]] +10
|-
|[[half-sized guitar]]
|40
|5 Mox
|2-handed guitar
|
*[[Moxie Modifiers|Moxie]] +2
*[[Bonus Ranged Damage]] +4
|-
|-
|[[pool cue]]
|[[pool cue]]
Line 2,069: Line 2,269:
|1-handed sword
|1-handed sword
|[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +2
|[[Muscle Modifiers|Muscle]] +2
|-
|[[big bass drum]]
|35
|2 Mox
|2-handed drum
|
*[[HP Increasers|Maximum HP]] +20
*[[Damage Absorption]] +8
|-
|-
|[[Dr. Hobo's scalpel]]
|[[Dr. Hobo's scalpel]]
Line 2,095: Line 2,303:
|1-handed utensil
|1-handed utensil
|[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +5
|[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +5
|-
|[[pocket theremin]]
|35
|2 Mox
|2-handed theremin
| +4 {{element|Spooky}}
|-
|-
|[[spooky staff]]
|[[spooky staff]]
Line 2,111: Line 2,325:
*[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +10
*[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +10
*[[Monster Level]] +5
*[[Monster Level]] +5
|-
|[[bone rattle]]
|30
|None
|1-handed rattle
| +4 {{element|Spooky}}
|-
|-
|[[cardboard katana]]
|[[cardboard katana]]
Line 2,182: Line 2,402:
*+3 {{element|Cold}}
*+3 {{element|Cold}}
*+3 {{element|Sleaze}}
*+3 {{element|Sleaze}}
|-
|[[out-of-tune biwa]]
|30
|None
|2-handed guitar
|[[Bonus Ranged Damage]] +2
|-
|-
|[[parasitic claw]]
|[[parasitic claw]]
Line 2,256: Line 2,482:
|1-handed wand
|1-handed wand
|&nbsp;
|&nbsp;
|-
|[[cheap plastic blowgun]]
|25
|None
|1-handed blowgun
|50% chance of poisoning opponent.
|-
|-
|[[eggbeater]]
|[[eggbeater]]
Line 2,313: Line 2,545:
|1-handed utensil
|1-handed utensil
|[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +1
|[[Bonus Spell Damage|Spell Damage]] +1
|-
|[[dented harmonica]]
|20
|None
|1-handed horn
|[[Mysticality Modifiers|Mysticality]] +1
|-
|-
|[[dishrag]]
|[[dishrag]]

Revision as of 01:58, 30 March 2009

[ Return to Game Mechanics ]

Weapons are things adventurers use to hurt monsters, rocks, grass, small children, air, each other, and whatever else happens to get in their line of fire.

As a general rule, weapons having a Moxie requirement are ranged weapons, using Moxie to calculate Hit Chance, and weapons having a Muscle requirement are melee weapons, using Muscle to calculate hit chance. Weapons with a Mysticality requirement are Mysticality weapons, which also use Muscle to calculate hit chance, but generally give Bonus Spell Damage.

In terms of weapon types, all weapons of the following types are ranged:

  • accordion
  • autopult
  • banjo
  • bong
  • boomerang
  • bow
  • can
  • catapult
  • crossbow
  • disco ball
  • euphemisms
  • guitar
  • gun
  • heavy blowgun
  • pistol
  • radio
  • rifle
  • sack
  • sitar
  • slingshot
  • superball
  • throwing spear
  • yo-yo
  • yoyo

Chefstaves, utensils, and saucepans are Mysticality weapons, as is the special Periodical Paintbrush. All other items are generally melee weapons, although there are exceptions; for example, the lucky ball-and-chain is a ranged flail, the can of maces is a ranged club, and the heavy metal thunderrr guitarrr is a ranged axe.

If you're clumsy, you may fumble your weapon on some part of your body. Not only does this hurt, it allows your opponent to get a free hit on you. Which also hurts. And let's face it: everyone's a little clumsy.

Name Power Req Weapon
Type 		Notes
7-inch discus 200 85 Mox 1-handed boomerang
antique spear 200 85 Mus 1-handed polearm
Bigger Bugfinder Blade 200 85 Mus 2-handed sword
  • All Attributes +11
  • Awarded to people who find major bugs or a lot of bugs
Brimstone Bludgeon 200 30 Mus 1-handed club
Chester's bag of candy 200 200 Mox 2-handed ranged weapon
  • +30 Sleaze Damage
  • Moxie +10%
  • Bonus for DBs only
  • Part of the Tawdry Tramp Togs
cursed cutlass 200 85 Mus 1-handed sword
decaying wooden oar 200 85 Mus 2-handed club  
El Vibrato energy spear 200 200 Mus 2-handed spear
fetus-smashing club 200 85 Mus 2-handed club A custom item given to Bashy
fish bazooka 200 85 2-handed bazooka
fish scimitar 200 85 1-handed sword
fish stick 200 85 2-handed staff
flamin' bindle 200 200 Mus 2-handed polearm
freezin' bindle 200 200 Mus 2-handed polearm
Frosty's arm 200 200 Mus 1-handed staff
Frosty's nailbat 200 200 Mus 2-handed club
Frosty's snowball sack 200 200 Mox 1-handed sack +50 Cold Damage
giant fishhook 200 85 Mox 2-handed spear  
halibut 200 85 Mus 2-handed fish
Hodgman's whackin' stick 200 200 Mus 1-handed club
  • All Attributes +20%
  • On Critical: Insanity!
Mer-kin hookspear 200 85 Mus 1-handed spear
Mer-kin mining pick 200 85 Mus 2-handed axe
Mjolnir Jr. 200 85 Mys 1-handed utensil A custom item given to Thor the Mighty
non-stick pugil stick 200 85 Mus 2-handed club
octopus's spade 200 85 Mus 1-handed knife
Ol' Scratch's infernal pitchfork 200 200 Mus 2-handed polearm
PVC staff 200 85 Mus 2-handed staff
rusty speargun 200 85 Mox 1-handed pistol
sleazy bindle 200 200 Mus 2-handed polearm
stinkin' bindle 200 200 Mus 2-handed polearm
spooky bindle 200 200 Mus 2-handed polearm
teflon spatula 200 85 Mys 1-handed utensil
velcro broadsword 200 85 Mus 1-handed sword
velcro paddle ball 200 85 Mox 1-handed flail
Zim Merman's guitar 200 85 Mox 2-handed guitar Ranged Damage +20
Zombo's shoulder blade 200 200 Mus 2-handed sword
duct tape sword 195 82 Mus 1-handed sword
beer-a-pult 190 80 Mox 3-handed catapult
beer bong 190 80 Mox 1-handed bong
cast-iron legacy paddle 190 80 Mus 2-handed club
fire poi 190 80 Mox 2-handed flail
giant driftwood sculpture 190 80 Mus 2-handed flail
massive sitar 190 80 Mox 2-handed sitar
Bugfinder Blade 180 75 Mus 2-handed sword
  • All Attributes +7
  • Awarded to people who find a few bugs
didgeridooka 180 75 Mox 2-handed heavy blowgun Moxie +9
goatskin umbrella 180 75 Mus 1-handed umbrella +15 Stench Damage
plexiglass pike pike 180 75 Mus 2-handed spear
war tongs 180 75 Mys 1-handed utensil
lead pipe 175 72 Mus 1-handed club
perforated battle paddle 175 72 Mus 2-handed club Weapon Damage +10
toy ray gun 175 72 Mox 1-handed pistol
Drowsy Sword 171 66 Mus 2-handed sword
charming flute 170 70 Mox 2-handed flute
denim axe 170 70 Mus 2-handed axe
giant foam finger 170 70 Mus 1-handed club Damage Reduction: +3
happiness 165 67 Mox 1-handed pistol +12 Hot Damage
Maxwell's Silver Hammer 165 67 Mus 1-handed club
pygmy spear 165 67 Mus 1-handed spear Muscle +7
star crossbow 165 67 Mox 2-handed crossbow Moxie +8
star staff 165 67 Mus 2-handed staff Mysticality +8
star sword 165 67 Mus 2-handed sword Muscle +8
arse-shooting crossbow 160 65 Mox 2-handed crossbow
black sword 160 65 Mus 1-handed sword
giant cactus quill 160 65 Mus 1-handed spear
jungle drum 160 65 Mox 2-handed drum
pointed stick 160 65 Mus 1-handed spear
yohohoyo 160 65 Mox 1-handed yoyo
giant discarded plastic fork 155 62 Mus 3-handed staff
magilaser blastercannon 155 62 Mox 2-handed laser cannon
automatic catapult 150 60 Mox 2-handed autopult  
bill bec-de-bardiche glaive-guisarme 150 60 Mus 2-handed polearm?  
bugbear-smiting sword 150 60 Mus 2-handed sword
C.B.F.G. 150 60 Mox 2-handed rifle
C. H. U. M. knife 150 175 Mus 1-handed knife +30 Stench Damage
club of the five seasons 150 60 Mus 1-handed club
drywall axe 150 60 Mus 2-handed axe
  • All Attributes +2
  • All Attributes +3%
giant needle 150 60 Mus 2-handed spear Monster Level +5
grassy cutlass 150 60 Mus 1-handed sword Weapon Damage +11
Grimacite gat 150 40 Mox 1-handed gun
heteroerotic frat-paddle 150 60 Mus 1-handed club A custom item given to Mr Skullhead
immense cyborg hand 150 60 Mus 1-handed club
Radio Free Foil 150 60 Mus 2-handed sword
rainbow crossbow 150 60 Mox 1-handed crossbow
star spatula 150 60 Mys 1-handed utensil Spell Damage +15
vibrating cyborg knife 150 55 Mus 1-handed sword
witty rapier 150 60 Mus 1-handed sword +2 Stat Gains from Fights (Myst substat only)
world's smallest violin 150 60 Mox 1-handed violin
[[a butt tuba] 145 57 Mox 2-handed horn +15 Sleaze Damage
batblade 145 57 Mus 1-handed knife Weapon Damage +15
acoustic guitarrr 140 55 Mox 2-handed guitar +2% Meat from Monsters
armgun 140 55 Mox 2-handed machine gun
black kettle drum 140 55 Mox 2-handed drum
gatorskin umbrella 140 100 Mus 1-handed umbrella
ridiculously huge sword 140 55 Mus 3-handed sword
broken sword 135 52 Mus 1-handed sword Slight Spooky Resistance
carob cannon 135 45 Mox 2-handed crossbow
hairy staff 135 45 Mus 2-handed staff
ram-battering staff 135 52 Mus 2-handed staff
rave whistle 135 52 Mox 1-handed whistle
Spirit Precipice 135 45 Mus 2-handed sword
star boomerang 135 52 Mox 1-handed boomerang Moxie +5
star stiletto 135 52 Mus 1-handed knife Muscle +5
4-dimensional guitar 130 50 Mox 2-handed guitar
hot cross bow 130 45 Mox 2-handed crossbow
lucky ball-and-chain 130 50 Mox 2-handed flail  
sword behind inappropriate prepositions 130 45 Mus 2-handed sword
titanium assault umbrella 130 50 Mus 1-handed umbrella Slight Resistance to All Elements
crazy bastard sword 125 25 Mus 1-handed sword
curmudgel 125 47 Mus 1-handed club
ga-ga radio 125 47 Mox 2-handed radio
Grimacite glaive 125 47 Mus 2-handed polearm
meatspout staff 125 45 Mus 2-handed staff
pitchfork 125 47 Mus 1-handed spear Weapon Damage +9
projectile icemaker 125 45 Mox 2-handed crossbow
shuddersword 125 45 Mus 2-handed sword
smoldering staff 125 45 Mus 2-handed staff
asbestos sword 120 45 Mus 2-handed sword
buffalo blade 120 45 Mus 2-handed sword
chrome crossbow 120 45 Mox 2-handed crossbow
giant cheesestick 120 45 Mus 2-handed staff
heavy metal thunderrr guitarrr 120 45 Mox 2-handed axe Weapon Damage +11
linoleum staff 120 45 Mus 2-handed staff
ocarina of space 120 45 Mox 2-handed flute
potato pistol 120 45 Mox 1-handed pistol
silver shrimp fork 120 45 Mys 1-handed utensil
two-handed depthsword 120 45 Mus 2-handed sword  
lupine sword 115 42 Mus 1-handed sword
ram stick 115 42 Mus 2-handed staff Moxie +5
serpentine sword 115 42 Mus 1-handed sword
asbestos crossbow 110 40 Mox 2-handed crossbow
bone flute 110 40 Mox 2-handed flute +11 Spooky Damage
chrome staff 110 40 Mus 2-handed staff
iron pasta spoon 110 40 Mys 1-handed utensil Spell Damage +10
linoleum sword 110 40 Mus 2-handed sword
sack of doorknobs 110 40 Mox 2-handed sack  
asbestos staff 100 35 Mus 2-handed staff
bamboo bokuto 100 35 Mus 1-handed sword  
big stirring stick 100 35 Mus 2-handed staff
bottle-rocket crossbow 100 None 1-handed crossbow
bounty-hunting rifle 100 25 Mox 2-handed rifle
bow staff 100 35 Mus 2-handed staff
can of fake snow 100 35 Mox 1-handed can
chrome sword 100 35 Mus 2-handed sword
Crimbo sword 100 35 Mus 2-handed sword
depleted Grimacite hammer 100 35 Mus 2-handed club
duck-on-a-string 100 35 Mus 1-handed flail
elven whittling knife 100 35 Mus 1-handed knife Does extra damage on criticals
flaming juggler's balls 100 None 1-handed euphemisms
goulauncher 100 35 Mox 2-handed crossbow
haiku katana 100 None 1-handed sword
ice sickle 100 None 1-handed knife
linoleum crossbow 100 35 Mox 2-handed crossbow
Mafia violin case 100 35 Mus 1-handed club
origami riding crop 100 None 1-handed crop
oversized pizza cutter 100 35 Mys 1-handed utensil Spell Damage +13
Periodical Paintbrush 100 None 1-handed artsything
  • A prize item given to winners of the first calendar art contest
  • All Attributes +0-25%
  • Boost based on Grimace darkness
  • Cannot equip in Hardcore
plastic guitar 100 35 Mox 2-handed guitar
prehistoric spear 100 35 Mox 1-handed throwing spear 2x Critical Hit Chance
ridiculously overelaborate ninja weapon 100 35 Mus 3-handed ...weapon
roboduck-on-a-string 100 35 Mus 1-handed flail
scratch 'n' sniff crossbow 100 None 1-handed crossbow
  • Actual power can vary with player level
  • Enchantments can be added with stickers
scratch 'n' sniff sword 100 None 1-handed sword
  • Actual power can vary with player level
  • Enchantments can be added with stickers
soylent staff 100 35 Mus 2-handed staff
spiked femur 100 35 Mus 1-handed club +6 Spooky Damage
Spooky Putty ball 100 None 1-handed superball
Super Magic Power Sword X 100 35 Mus 1-handed sword
time sword 100 35 Mus 1-handed sword
Tropical Crimbo Sword 100 35 Mus 1-handed sword
vampire duck-on-a-string 100 35 Mus 1-handed flail
17-alarm Saucepan 90 15 Mys 1-handed saucepan
Cerebral Crossbow 90 30 Mox 1-handed crossbow
Chelonian Morningstar 90 15 Mus 1-handed flail
depleted Grimacite kneecapping stick 90 30 Mus 1-handed club +ceil(Grimace darkness/2)% Critical Hit Chance
Greek Pasta of Peril 90 15 Mys 1-handed utensil
Hammer of Smiting 90 15 Mus 1-handed club
huge spoon 90 30 Mys 1-handed utensil Spell Damage +10
icy-hot katana 90 30 Mus 2-handed sword
kneecapping stick 90 30 Mus 1-handed club 3x Critical Hit Chance
ninja mop 90 30 Mus 2-handed polearm Weapon Damage +5
Shagadelic Disco Banjo 90 15 Mox 2-handed banjo
Squeezebox of the Ages 90 15 Mox 2-handed accordion
stainless steel shillelagh 90 30 Mus 1-handed club
vorpal blade 90 30 Mus 1-handed sword
magic whistle 85 27 Mox 1-handed whistle
7-Foot Dwarven mattock 80 25 Mus 2-handed axe
bubble bauble bow 80 25 Mox 2-handed bow
clockwork crossbow 80 25 Mox 1-handed crossbow
clockwork staff 80 25 Mys 2-handed staff
clockwork sword 80 25 Mus 2-handed sword
Crimbo ukelele 80 20 Mox 2-handed guitar +10% Items from Monsters
crowbarrr 80 25 Mus 2-handed staff Combat Initiative +15%
flypaper staff 80 25 Mus 2-handed staff
frigid hankyū 80 25 Mox 2-handed bow
frozen nunchaku 80 25 Mus 2-handed flail
grass blade 80 25 Mus 1-handed sword
Knob Goblin melon baller 80 25 Mys 1-handed utensil Spell Damage +8
lead yo-yo 80 25 Mox 1-handed yo-yo  
rib of the Bonerdagon 80 25 Mus 2-handed staff
rusty grave robbing shovel 80 25 Mus 2-handed polearm
savory crossbow 80 25 Mox 2-handed crossbow Moxie +4
savory staff 80 25 Mus 2-handed staff Mysticality +4
savory sword 80 25 Mus 1-handed sword Muscle +4
spooky bicycle chain 80 25 Mus 1-handed flail
wholeberd 80 25 Mus 2-handed polearm Weapon Damage +6
can cannon 75 22 Mox 2-handed crossbow
chopsticks 75 23 Mys 1-handed utensil
squeaky staff 75 22 Mus 2-handed staff
sword of static 75 22 Mus 1-handed sword
ultimate ultimate frisbee 75 22 Mox 1-handed frisbee
wiffle-flail 75 22 Mus 2-handed flail
double-barreled sling 70 20 Mox 1-handed sling
25-meat staff 70 20 Mus 2-handed staff  
flaming cardboard sword 70 20 Mus 1-handed sword
Frost™ brand sword 70 20 Mus 1-handed sword
hippy bongo 70 20 Mox 1-handed drum +5 Stench Damage
homoerotic frat-paddle 70 20 Mus 1-handed club
Kentucky-fried meat crossbow 70 20 Mox 2-handed crossbow Moxie +5
Kentucky-fried meat staff 70 20 Mus 2-handed staff Mysticality +5
Kentucky-fried meat sword 70 20 Mus 2-handed sword Muscle +5
Totally Gay Claymore 69 19 Mus 2-handed sword A custom item given to PhilANThropiSt
finger cymbals 65 17 Mox 1-handed cymbals Maximum MP +20
grease gun 65 17 Mox 1-handed pistol
repeating crossbow 65 17 Mox 2-handed crossbow
bubblewrap crossbow 60 15 Mox 2-handed crossbow
bubblewrap staff 60 15 Mus 2-handed staff
bubblewrap sword 60 15 Mus 1-handed sword
cardboard crossbow 60 15 Mox 2-handed crossbow
cardboard staff 60 15 Mus 2-handed staff
cardboard sword 60 15 Mus 1-handed sword
dense meat crossbow 60 15 Mox 2-handed crossbow Moxie +3
dense meat staff 60 15 Mus 2-handed staff Mysticality +3
dense meat sword 60 15 Mus 2-handed sword Muscle +3
diamond-studded cane 60 15 Mus 1-handed club
eXtreme meat crossbow 60 15 Mox 2-handed crossbow Moxie +7
eXtreme meat staff 60 15 Mus 2-handed staff Mysticality +7
eXtreme meat sword 60 15 Mus 2-handed sword Muscle +7
filthy pestle 60 15 Mys 1-handed utensil Spell Damage +7
flaming crutch 60 15 Mus 1-handed club +3 Hot Damage
glistening staff 60 15 Mus 2-handed staff
Gnollish autoplunger 60 15 Mus 3-handed spear Mysticality +3
knob bugle 60 15 Mox 1-handed horn Delevels on hit
Knob Goblin elite polearm 60 15 Mus 2-handed polearm
muculent machete 60 15 Mus 1-handed sword
ratarang 60 15 Mox 1-handed boomerang
sabre teeth 60 15 Mus 1-handed knife Weapon Damage +4
slightly peevedbow 60 15 Mox 2-handed bow  
styrofoam crossbow 60 15 Mox 2-handed crossbow
styrofoam staff 60 15 Mus 2-handed staff
styrofoam sword 60 15 Mus 1-handed sword
wooden axe 60 15 Mus 2-handed axe Muscle +3
boxing glove on a spring 55 12 Mox 1-handed club
infernal fife 55 12 Mox 2-handed flute +7 Hot Damage
poutine pole 55 12 Mus 2-handed staff
5-Alarm Saucepan 50 10 Mys 1-handed saucepan
balloon sword 50 10 Mus 1-handed sword
Bjorn's Hammer 50 10 Mus 1-handed club
can of maces 50 10 Mox 1-handed club
Disco Banjo 50 10 Mox 2-handed banjo
dripping meat crossbow 50 10 Mox 2-handed crossbow Moxie +2
dripping meat staff 50 10 Mus 2-handed staff Mysticality +2
dripping meat sword 50 10 Mus 1-handed sword Muscle +2
glow-in-the-dark dart gun 50 None 1-handed pistol
Mace of the Tortoise 50 10 Mus 1-handed mace
office-supply crossbow 50 10 Mox 2-handed crossbow
Pasta of Peril 50 10 Mys 1-handed utensil
pestoblade 50 10 Mus 1-handed sword
pixel boomerang 50 10 Mox 1-handed boomerang +5% Items from Monsters
pixel sword 50 10 Mus 1-handed sword
Rock and Roll Legend 50 10 Mox 2-handed accordion
tambourine 50 10 Mox 1-handed drum
Unionize The Elves sign 50 10 Mus 1-handed club
worm-riding hooks 50 None 2-handed club  
basic meat spork 45 7 Mys 1-handed utensil
curdflinger 45 7 Mox 1-handed crossbow
calavera concertina 40 5 Mox 2-handed accordion
  • Moxie +3
  • Enables the casting of 7-turn AT buffs (all classes)
dreadlock whip 40 5 Mus 1-handed whip
half-sized guitar 40 5 Mox 2-handed guitar
pool cue 40 None 2-handed staff Moxie +3
rubber axe 40 5 Mus 2-handed axe +2 Sleaze Damage
starchy crossbow 40 5 Mox 1-handed crossbow Moxie +3
starchy staff 40 5 Mus 2-handed staff Mysticality +3
starchy sword 40 5 Mus 1-handed sword Muscle +3
suede shortsword 40 5 Mus 1-handed sword  
white sword 40 5 Mus 1-handed sword Muscle +2
big bass drum 35 2 Mox 2-handed drum
Dr. Hobo's scalpel 35 2 Mus 1-handed knife
Gnollish flyswatter 35 2 Mus 1-handed club  
Gnollish plunger 35 2 Mus 1-handed spear  
jack flapper 35 2 Mys 1-handed utensil Spell Damage +5
pocket theremin 35 2 Mox 2-handed theremin +4 Spooky Damage
spooky staff 35 2 Mus 2-handed staff
bat whip 30 None 1-handed whip
bone rattle 30 None 1-handed rattle +4 Spooky Damage
cardboard katana 30 None 1-handed sword
cardboard wakizashi 30 None 1-handed sword
cheap plastic bottle opener 30 None 1-handed utensil +2 Sleaze Damage
Cloaca-Cola-issue combat knife 30 None 1-handed knife Restore 0-2 MP on successful hit
grave robbing shovel 30 None 2-handed polearm
halfberd 30 None 1-handed polearm Weapon Damage +2
huge mirror shard 30 None 1-handed knife Weapon Damage +5
Knob Goblin spatula 30 None 1-handed utensil Spell Damage +4
little paper umbrella 30 None 1-handed umbrella Spell Damage +1
obsidian dagger 30 10 Mus 1-handed knife
out-of-tune biwa 30 None 2-handed guitar Bonus Ranged Damage +2
parasitic claw 30 None 1-handed club
portable corkscrew 30 None 1-handed utensil
rattail whip 30 None 1-handed whip
shiny butcherknife 30 None 1-handed utensil Spell Damage +5
skeleton bone 30 None 1-handed club +1 Spooky Damage
spooky stick 30 None 2-handed staff +2 Spooky Damage
spork 30 None 1-handed utensil Muscle +2
tail o' nine cats 30 None 1-handed whip
third-hand nunchaku 30 7 Mus 2-handed flail Weapon Damage +3
trusty torch 30 None 1-handed club +3 Hot Damage
Wand of Nagamar 30 None 1-handed wand  
cheap plastic blowgun 25 None 1-handed blowgun 50% chance of poisoning opponent.
eggbeater 25 None 1-handed utensil Spell Damage +2
Gnollish slotted spoon 25 None 1-handed utensil Spell Damage +3
palm-frond whip 25 None 1-handed whip
stone banjo 25 None 2-handed banjo Moxie +1
wooden stakes 25 None 2-handed spear Weapon Damage +1
basic meat crossbow 20 5 Mox 2-handed crossbow Moxie +1
basic meat staff 20 5 Mus 2-handed staff Mysticality +1
basic meat sword 20 5 Mus 2-handed sword Muscle +1
corn holder 20 None 1-handed utensil Spell Damage +1
dented harmonica 20 None 1-handed horn Mysticality +1
dishrag 20 None 1-handed whip +3 Stench Damage
gnauga hide whip 20 None 1-handed whip
Gnollish pie server 20 None 1-handed utensil Spell Damage +3
hippo whip 20 None 1-handed whip Monster Level +10
Knob Goblin tongs 20 None 1-handed utensil Spell Damage +2
penguin whip 20 None 1-handed whip +3% Meat from Monsters
scorpion whip 20 None 1-handed whip
slingshot 20 None 2-handed slingshot  
sweet ninja sword 20 None 1-handed sword  
tiny ninja sword 20 None 1-handed sword Moxie +1
yak whip 20 None 1-handed whip Successful hit weakens opponent
asparagus knife 15 None 1-handed knife +1 Stench Damage
Knob Goblin scimitar 15 None 1-handed sword Muscle +1
bar whip 10 None 1-handed whip +2 to Familiar Weight
big stick 10 None 2-handed staff  
bucket of anniversary lard 10 None 1-handed flail All Attributes +1
chisel 10 None 1-handed knife  
clown hammer 10 None 1-handed club Squeaky!
clown whip 10 None 1-handed whip So-So Sleaze Resistance
cool whip 10 None 1-handed whip  
costume sword 10 None 1-handed sword
demon whip 10 None 1-handed whip
disco ball 10 None 1-handed disco ball  
KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat 10 None 2-handed club
pasta spoon 10 None 1-handed utensil  
saucepan 10 None 1-handed saucepan Enables the casting of 5-turn Sauceror buffs (all classes)
seal-clubbing club 10 None 1-handed club  
Spooky Putty snake 10 None 1-handed chefstaff
Staff of Blood and Pudding 10 15 Mys 1-handed chefstaff
Staff of the Black Kettle 10 75 Mys 1-handed chefstaff
Staff of the Deepest Freeze 10 200 Mys 1-handed chefstaff
Staff of the Grand Flambé 10 125 Mys 1-handed chefstaff
Staff of the Greasefire 10 20 Mys 1-handed chefstaff
Staff of the Grease Trap 10 125 Mys 1-handed chefstaff
Staff of the Kitchen Floor 10 125 Mys 1-handed chefstaff
Staff of the Midnight Snack 10 15 Mys 1-handed chefstaff
Staff of the Short Order Cook 10 15 Mys 1-handed chefstaff
Staff of the Teapot Tempest 10 25 Mys 1-handed chefstaff
Staff of the Walk-In Freezer 10 125 Mys 1-handed chefstaff
Staff of the Well-Tempered Cauldron 10 125 Mys 1-handed chefstaff
stolen accordion 10 None 2-handed accordion Enables the casting of 5-turn AT buffs (all classes)
tiny plastic sword 10 None 1-handed sword Moxie +1
white whip 10 None 1-handed whip +1 Stat Gains from Fights


Equipment Lists
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Weapons (Melee | Mysticality | Ranged | One-Handed | Two-handed / Three-handed)
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