G-Lover/Strategy
This guide will provide some additional information to aid with a G-Lover ascension.
Valhalla Options
Astral consumables: Hot dogs or AEDs
Astral equipment:
- astral bludgeon (2H club): +25% mus, +15% crit, +20 wdmg
- astral longbow (2H weap): +25% mox, +30% meat, +20 rdmg
- astral ring (acc): +25% mys, +20 sdmg, regen 4-6 MP
Moon Sign Selection
Slightly different tradeoffs are available in this path. Note that you cannot tune to a 2nd moon sign.
- Knoll signs:
- Easy bitchin' meatcar Desert access, and instant Untinker access
- Easy access to cooking supplies, and breadcar fuel (other signs' usual alternative of all-purpose flower is unusable)
- (detuned radio is unusable)
- Canadia signs:
- Chez Snootée food is available (regardless of G-ness)
- Free logging axe
- Bonus ML available
- Platypus: +mus exp, +5 fam wt, "Big Smile" gives +5 fam exp/fight
- Opossum: +mys exp, +5 adv/day from food
- Marmot: +mox exp, +1 res all
- Gnome signs:
- Gnomish Micromicrobrewery booze is available (regardless of G-ness), though you'd need to purchase a bus pass first
- Bonus ML available, though again you need Desert access first
- Wombat: +mus exp, +20% meat
- Blender: +mys exp, +5 adv/day from booze, "Big Smile" gives +50% booze
- Packrat: +mox exp, +10% items, "Big Smile" gives +50% meat
Class Selection
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Turngen
Turngen can be a struggle, and is worth considering beforehand in order to pick the most appropriate moon sign, and (for softcore) prepare some untradeable/gift pulls
- Food options:
- Chez provides a solid baseline for anyone in a Canadia moon sign (and the food of the day is always edible, regardless of name)
- 3 astral hot dogs (size-3, epic if eaten at lvl 8+) are probably better than AEDs
- spaghetti breakfast yields ~ (LVL+1)/2 advs (capped at level 11's 6 advs)
- VIP hot dogs are edible 1x/day (reqs VIP key)
- Witchess Knight (reqs a way to summon it) that drops jumping horseradish (size-1 epic) and makes a good Digitize target (reqs Source Terminal)
- Pulls (softcore): gallon of milk (size-15 awesome, comes with a mild debuff), roasted vegetable of Jarlsberg (size-2 epic, +item buff works!, untradeable so must be created before ascending)
- Booze options:
- VIP speakeasy provides a solid baseline (all are drinkable, regardless of name), but requires a VIP key
- tiny stillsuit can be drank from (though the buff won't work), potentially providing an alternative baseline for non-VIP players
- For folks with neither VIP nor stillsuit, The Gnomish Micromicrobrewery is an option (the booze of the day is always edible, regardless of name)
- ice bartender (reqs a way to summon/find it) drops perfect ice cube @ 30%, which can be mixed (with gin) into a perfect negroni (size-3 epic); industrial fire extinguisher and/or Cat Burglar can be used to grab extra copies of the ice cube
- Winter Garden can create one Ice Island Long Tea (size-4 epic) per day
- Pulls (softcore): hacked gibson (size-4 epic), Wrecked Generator (size-5 epic, untradeable so must be acquired before ascending)
- Either:
- With the Smith's Tome, each tome summons effectively creates 2 handful of Smithereens (1 directly, 1 via smashing), each of which can be cooked/mixed into epic size-2 food/booze
- Precious Gs can be spent on epic size-2 food/booze
- Other:
- milk of magnesium
- +5 turns/day from either the Opossum (Canadia) or Blender (gnome) moon sign
- June cleaver's +5 adv noncom
- Special Seasoning (reqs SongBoom)
- magical sausages (reqs Kramco)
- Ode to Booze (not castable; reqs Cargo Cultist Shorts or genie bottle, for 20 turns' worth)
- Pulls (softcore): etched hourglass, numberwang, mafia thumb ring, grim fairy tale
Quest Progression
- [General] Quest-relevant equipment still functions in that capacity, regardless of G-ness. This includes: logging hatchet/loadstone, amulet of extreme plot significance/mohawk wig/titanium assault umbrella, antique machete, unstable fulminate, UV-resistant compass
- [Spookyraven] When trying to beat the Billiards ghost at pool, neither the pool cue nor the hand chalk function, so having maxed your lifetime pool skill is particularly important here
- In the Bedroom you only need track down 1 ornate nightstand (since the disposable instant camera is unusable)
- To unlock The Hidden Temple, you will have to talk to "Dakota" Fanning (since you can't use the Spooky Temple map) once you've reached 35 mainstat (~lvl 6.5). This means that, instead of tracking down the Spooky Forest noncom 4x, you will need to fetch:
- pellet of plant food: Found in The Haunted Conservatory after 10 delay (not pre-burnable)
- heavy-duty bendy straw: Dropped by the third Fallen Archfiend you fight, found in the Dark Heart (so delay adventuring here until after speaking to Fanning)
- sewing kit: Sold for a fat loot token in the Vending Machine, or pullable. Note that since the kit is untradeable and tokens are unpullable, you will need to pre-purchase a kit before ascending, if you want to be able to pull one from Hagnk's.
- [Level 4] To open the Bat Hole zones, you cannot use sonar-in-a-biscuit, and so must fight 3 Screambats (or 2, with the use of the IFE)
- [Level 5] To open Cobb's Knob, using the map causes you to lose all your HP and get Beaten Up
- [Level 7] To track your progress in The Cyrpt (since you can't use your Evilometer) you may check your Quest Log
- Since evil eye is unusable, The Defiled Nook will take the full 25+1 turns, barring assistance from gravy boat (pulled), Nightmare Fuel (via SongBoom), IFE, Lovebugs, and/or solid gold rosary (grimstone content)
- [Level 9] To build the Orc Chasm bridge, logging hatchet / loadstone still provide extra lumber / fasteners, but keepsake boxen are unusable
- To create the jar of oil necessary to complete Twin Peak (lest you be forced to spend 50 turns burning the place down), you must use crude oil congealer (sold for 3 Gs) to combine your 12 bubblin' crude
- To use the clues at A-boo Peak, you must use A-Boo glue (sold for 1 G each); Cartography also effectively serves as a free clue
Consider spending all 3 of your starting Gs on the congealer on your first G-Lover ascension, and then buy glue with Gs earned in subsequent runs
- [Level 10] To unlock the Beanstalk, click on the coffee grounds in The Nearby Plains
- [Level 11] To find the Black Market, you cannot use the Blackbird (or Crow) as your active familiar, but you can still paste one together to get the bonus zone progression
- To unlock The Hidden City, you cannot use stone wool, so you'll have to either wish (directly, not pocket) for Stone-Faced (twice!) or grind out the noncoms naturally
- You cannot use a book of matches to find The Hidden Tavern, which means no Bowls of Scorpions for drunk pygmies, and no Cursed Punch to boost your curse level
- To clear the Mob of Protesters, lynyrds are unfeasible (neither musk nor snare are usable). Dirty Pear (as a direct wish) still functions to speed the +sleaze route
- To get through The Palindome, since you cannot use the disposable instant camera, you will have to fight 9 dudes (Bob Racecars, Racecar Bobs, and Drab Bards) in order to get a photograph
- Using both "I Love Me, Vol. I" and "2 Love Me, Vol. 2" cause you to lose all your HP and get Beaten Up.
- To get through The Palindome, since you cannot use the disposable instant camera, you will have to fight 9 dudes (Bob Racecars, Racecar Bobs, and Drab Bards) in order to get a photograph
- You can still create and throw the wine bomb
- You cannot use the drum machine to gain 30% desert exploration, so there is no need to collect worm-riding manual pages, meaning hydration is unnecessary (especially since most of the debuffs don't function)
- To unlock The Hidden City, you cannot use stone wool, so you'll have to either wish (directly, not pocket) for Stone-Faced (twice!) or grind out the noncoms naturally
- [Level 12] War Sidequests:
- You cannot use rock band flyers or jam band flyers, so you cannot Advertise for the Mysterious Island Arena
- You cannot use chaos butterfly to speed up Defowl the Farm
- [Tower] Off-class stat test: Surprisingly difficult to max, but a high G-9 potion (conditional 15% drop from government scientist) buff can go a long way
Notable exceptions to the G restriction
- Skills: Passive skills function normally (though Mafia may not recognize this; consider acquiring a talking spade to check your modifiers). Tome/Libram/Grimoire skills are castable via the Mystical Bookshelf page.
- Consumption: Food/booze that never enters your inventory often skips past the G-filter and can be consumed regardless of its stated name. E.g., everything in Chez's/Micromicrobrewery (including the random dailies), everything in the VIP Hot Dog Stand/Speakeasy, and tiny stillsuit's distillate.
- Using items: inv_use.php calls are blocked for non-G items. combat lover's locket instead calls inventory.php?reminisce=1, so its reminisces still function.
- Equipment: Hardcoded (basically meaning "unique") enchantment effects still function, regardless of item name. This includes the survival knife (from the MayDay™ contract)
- Workshed: Asdon Martin was the shed in Standard when this path was current, and its combat skills and buffs are almost all G-friendly, but the workshed update (which automatically uninstalls your shed on ascension) rendered it useless, since the Asdon Martin keyfob cannot be used.
Advice Circa 2023
- Workshed: Little Geneticist DNA-Splicing Lab is the only IOTM shed that remains usable currently.
- Monster summoning: combat lover's locket (via /reminisce), genie bottle (directly; pocket wishes are unusable), and Chateau's picture. Cargo Cultist Shorts also contains a limited selection of monsters. No additional softcore options.
- Copying: enamorang (from the L.O.V.E. tunnel) makes 1 wandering copy; Digitize (reqs Source Terminal) makes many. Enamorang is pullable, but is a gift item and so cannot be trivially mall-purchased.
- Lucky Adventures: AEDs (size-5 spleen, from the valhalla deli) are the only non-IOTM source, but require you to forgo hot dogs. VIP members have access to both the Hot Dog Stand's optimal dog and the VIP Speakeasy's Lucky Lindy (which is now size-6). And Sunday pills (reqs the Pill Keeper) cost 3 spleen. No additional softcore options.
- Banishers: HC is limited to KGB's dart (3x/day), Divine libram's popper (rare summons, 5-turn duration), and (if you collect 100 scraps) familiar scrapbook's Show Your Boring Familiar Pictures. In softcore, there are reusable 1x/day banishers on the equipment pulls mafia middle finger ring, V mask, and stinky cheese.
- (Pseudo)Sniffs: miniature crystal ball is very powerful and still functions as normal. Gallapagosian Mating Call (+1 copy to zone; lacks Olfaction's rejection-suppression) functions but is very weak.
- YRs: Disintegrate (150 MP, 100-turn cooldown) and two Tome derivative combat items with 150-turn cooldowns, Golden Light (from The Smith's Tome) and unbearable light (from Tome of Clip Art).
- Other item-acquisition tools: Feel Nostalgic (reqs emotion chip), Cat Burglar heists, Goose dupes, industrial fire extinguisher's Polar Vortex, and broken champagne bottle (reqs garbage tote)
Mr. Store Items (At Time Of Standard)
The functionality of many Mr. Store items have been impacted by the dependence on Gs, rendering some especially important, while some others become greatly inhibited as a result.
Note that this list only includes items that are in standard at the time when this challenge was restricted as such.
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Familiar Options
Some of the most valuable familiars for this challenge path include:
- Intergnat (fairy): Does a lot, but also requires that you use it a lot:
- Sometimes drops demon summoning components, ultimately enabling the use of the Preternatural Greed (+100% meat) at the Nuns
- Alternatively/additionally, there is a run-specific demon whose name these enemies will also eventually reveal, which when summoned will yield (at exactly level 11) tomb ratchet + antique machete + cigarette lighter, or (at exactly level 12) a star chart
- Drops BACON after combat, which can be spent to buy either gallon of milk (awesome-quality size-15 food that comes with a minor but lengthy debuff) or daily dungeon malware (yields an extra fat loot token/day if used in the DD)
- Sometimes lets you gain 10 turns of a -5% CF buff
- Sometimes drops demon summoning components, ultimately enabling the use of the Preternatural Greed (+100% meat) at the Nuns
- Jumpsuited Hound Dog (1.25x-weight fairy): Potentially the strongest available fairy (acts as 1.25x weight), with the mixed blessing of +(WT/6)% CF (maxed to +5% at 30 lbs)
- Slimeling (fairy): Extra chance to steal equipment (particularly good in the Airship), and can generate massive amounts of MP
- Gelatinous Cubeling (fairy): Speeds up the Daily Dungeon
- Garbage Fire (fairy whelp): Drops burning newspaper after 5+30X turns
- Cat Burglar (fairychaun): Heists are a great fallback option for missed drops
- Grimstone Golem (fairychaun): Drops a grimstone mask after 40-50 combats
- Grim Brother (volleychaun): Drops (useable) spleensies
- Artistic Goth Kid (volley): Burns delay with free black crayon fights; crayon shavings still work
- Baby Bugged Bugbear: +20 ML with the (free at the Cake-Shaped Arena) bugged balaclava equipped
- Disgeist - If you are having trouble decreasing combat frequency, this familiar can be of use.
- God Lobster: 3 free fights/day, each followed by a boon: some bonus experience, the next tier of familiar equipment, or a 33-turn buff. Buffs are determined by the current tier:
- (Tier 0) Wisdom of the God Lobster: regen 40 MP/adv
- (Tier 2) Silence of the God Lobster: -5% CF
- (Tier 3) Color of the God Lobster: +5% CF
- Pair of Stomping Boots: Free runaways, but cannot stomp
- Magic Dragonfish and Sludgepuppy: Useful for towerkilling
# | Familiar | Type | Full Effect | Availability | Notes |
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3 | ![]() |
Combat | Blocks attacks | Created / Mall | |
4 | ![]() |
Combat | Attacks enemies | Created / Mall | |
9 | ![]() |
Combat | Attacks enemies, restores MP | Created / Mall | Only acts when weight is at least 11 lb. |
11 | ![]() |
Combat | Attacks enemies, restores MP | Strange leaflet | Does not act if the moons are too bright. |
14 | ![]() |
Combat | Restores HP/MP after combat | Created / Mall | |
15 | ![]() |
Items | Increases item drops | Created / Mall | |
18 | ![]() |
Stats | Increases stat gains from fights based on the monster's ML. | Created / Mall | |
19 | ![]() |
Combat | Attacks & delevels enemies | Created / Mall | |
21 | ![]() |
Combat | Attacks, restores MP after combat | Created / Mall | |
32 | ![]() |
Combat | Attacks enemies | Created / Mall | |
33 | ![]() |
Combat | Attacks enemies | Created / Mall | |
34 | ![]() |
Items + Combat | Increases item drops, attacks enemies | Created / Untradable | Possible reward from Summon a Mushroom Familiar. |
35 | ![]() |
Items + Combat | Increases item drops, attacks enemies | Created / Untradable | Possible reward from Summon a Mushroom Familiar. |
36 | ![]() |
Items + Combat | Increases item drops, attacks enemies | Created / Untradable | Possible reward from Summon a Mushroom Familiar. |
37 | ![]() |
Items + Combat | Increases item drops, attacks enemies | Created / Untradable | Acquired from mushroom farming. |
49 | ![]() |
Items + Combat | Increases item drops, attacks enemies | Created / Untradable | Acquired from mushroom farming. |
51 | ![]() |
Combat | Attacks enemies | Created / Mall | A gift item. |
60 | ![]() |
Combat | Blocks attacks, absorbs damage | Created / Mall | |
69 | ![]() |
Items + Special | Increases item drops, increases combat frequency | Created / Untradable | Must be purchased from the Bounty Hunter Hunter for 100 filthy lucre. |
71 | ![]() |
Combat | Attacks enemies | Created / Untradable | Acquired from the Summoning Chamber |
81 | ![]() |
Combat | Varied combat functionality depending on programming | Created / Untradable | Acquired from El Vibrato Island, and requires El Vibrato punchcards to tune its functionality. Does nothing otherwise. |
86 | ![]() |
Combat | Restores HP/MP after combat | Created / Untradable |
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104 | ![]() |
Special | Increases spell damage | Created / Mall |
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106 | ![]() |
Combat | Attacks enemies, restores MP | Created / Mall |
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108 | ![]() |
Stats | Increases stat gains from fights | Created / Mall | |
112 | ![]() |
Items + Special | Increases item drops (especially equipment), restores MP when fed | Untradable |
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116 | ![]() |
Items | Increases item drops | Created / Mall | Can breathe underwater. |
142 | ![]() |
Stats | Increases stat gains from fights | Created / Mall | |
163 | ![]() |
Stats + Combat | Increases stat gains from fights, attacks enemies | Created / Untradable | Obtainable from a Zombie Slayer ascension. |
171 | ![]() |
Items + Combat + Special | Increases item drops, delevels enemies, drops items after combat | Created / Mall |
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175 | ![]() |
Items | Increases item drops | Created / Mall | More effective in Dreadsylvania. |
180 | ![]() |
Stats + Combat | Increases stat gains from monsters, attacks enemies | Untradable | Acquired from an anniversary gift box after playing for 11 years. |
203 | ![]() |
Items + Special | Increases item drops, drops BACON and provides greatly varied functionality | Mr. Store | Functionality is somewhat limited in this challenge path; most Internet Meme Shop items are not usable. |
203 | ![]() |
Nothing | Does nothing | Created / Mall | |
206 | ![]() |
Combat + Special | Restores HP/MP after combat, wears costumes for additional benefits | Mr. Store | Functionality is severely limited in this challenge path; only two mediocre costumes are usable. |
214 | ![]() |
Items + Combat + Special | Increases item drops, restores HP/MP after combat, drops various items | Mr. Store | Functionality is somewhat limited in this challenge path; only its burning newspaper drop is usable. |
262 | ![]() |
Special | Decreases Combat Frequency | Created / Mall | |
266 | ![]() |
Stats + Special | Increases stat gains from monsters, provides free fights and other potential abilities | Mr. Store | Fully functional in this challenge path, except for the Dish of Clarified Butter. |
267 | ![]() |
Items + Meat + Special | Increases meat drops, item drops, and can grab items from defeated monsters | Mr. Store | Fully functional in this challenge path. |
Functional Sources of Specific Enchantments
-Combat:
+Combat:
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Weapon Damage (Percent), for the muscle path:
Spell Damage (Percent), for the myst path:
Sleaze Resistance, for the mox path:
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Softcore Pulls
While most pulls that work for softcore speed ascension strategies remain viable, there are some particular pulls that are ideal to cover some of G-Lover's deficits.
- blessed rustproof +2 gray dragon scale mail: If you do not have a genie bottle, this shirt can be pulled to provide quality of life and elemental resistance for some particular tasks.
- bomb of unknown origin: Removes 10 zeppelin protesters without killing the one you are fighting. Cranking ML allows multiples to be used in a single fight, removing many from the zone.
- Alternatively, consider pulling lynyrd gear. The fastest possible Red Zepplin involves using 4 clovers while wearing three pieces of gear with the musky effect. This takes a lot of pulls, though.
- crude oil congealer: Unlike other G-Mart items, this one is not a quest item. If collected and stored during previous runs, it can be pulled to save your Gs for other uses.
- gallon of milk: If you do not have an Intergnat, this 15-fullness awesome beverage can be consumed to fill your stomach with a single pull. The associated debuff, while bothersome, is manageable.
- government-issued eyeshade: If you have trouble getting your Pool Skill high enough to finish The Haunted Billiards Room, consider pulling this, as it adds 5 Pool Skill and gives a flat 25 extra damage against ghosts, making the A-boo Peak and the Haunted Billiards Room easier to deal with.
- gravy boat : As the cornucopia cannot be used, this hat can be pulled to speed up the Undefile the Cyrpt Quest.
- hacked gibson: As Extract cannot be used, these can be pulled as one of the best drinks available for this path.
- mafia middle finger ring: An accessory that allows you to Show them your ring, a 60 turn banish (which does not take an adventure) that can be used once per day. Helps in varying locations, such as the Junkyard.
- Numberwang: An accessory that gives +11 monster level, which can help with levelling as well as areas such as the Oil Peak. Also gives HP/MP regeneration, maximum HP/MP, combat initiative, and 5 rollover adventures.
- ring of conflict: An accessory that reduces combat frequency by 5%, which can help if you are unable to reach -25% otherwise.
- stuffing fluffer: As the cornucopia cannot be used, this can be pulled and used to speed up the Mysterious Island Quest in quantities up to 28.
Ascension Strategy | |
Rankings: | HC Skills - HC Familiars - HC IotMs |
General: | Class selection - Familiar usage - Lucky adventures |
Paths: | BHY - Fist - AoB - BI - ZS - AoJ - BIG! - KOLHS - CA2 - AoSP - SS - HR - Picky - Ed - Random - AoWoL - Source - NA - GN - LtA - L.A.R. - PF - G-Lover - DD |
Additional Paths: | DG - 2CRS - KoE - PotP - LKS - GG - Y,Robot - QT - WF - GY - JM - FotD |
IotMs: | Tomes - Faxing - Copying - YR - Garden - Correspondent - Workshed - Tea party - Florist |