Combat Items

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This page lists items that can be used during combat, grouped by function. Unless noted otherwise, combat items are consumed upon use.

The following skills and enchantments affect combat items:

• Ambidextrous Funkslinging allows the player to use two combat items per combat round.
• Deft Hands increases the damage dealt by combat items by 25%. If the player is currently a Disco Bandit, the first combat item used in a fight will always stagger the enemy.
• The V for Vivala mask increases the damage dealt by combat items by 50%.
• Mathematically Precise increases the damage dealt by combat items by 50%.
• Form of...Bird! prevents the use of combat items.

Restore HP

Item	HP Restored	Notes
Dreadsylvanian seed pod	All HP	Removes one negative status effect
scented massage oil	All HP	Semi-rare, staggers opponent for current round
soggy used band-aid	All HP	Stuns opponent for three rounds
big glob of skin	ca. half of missing HP
Rain-Doh indigo cup	20% of max HP	Staggers opponent for current round; can only be used once per combat; is not consumed on use
mer-kin healscroll	300 on land, all HP in The Ocean	Fully heals Mer-kin enemies
pixel energy tank	1000	Also restores 1000 MP
communications windchimes	250-300	Has several possible effects; only operates on The Battlefield while wearing War Hippy Fatigues
PADL Phone	250-300	Has several possible effects; only operates on The Battlefield while wearing Frat Warrior Fatigues
extra-strength red potion	190-210	Also gives 40 turns of Healthy Red Glow
red pixel potion	100-120
red potion	90-110	Also gives 20 turns of Healthy Red Glow
filthy poultice	80-120
gauze garter	80-120
cartoon heart	40-60	Also gives 10 turns of Healthy Red Glow
green pixel potion	40-60	Also 30-40MP
red plastic oyster egg	35-40
palm-frond fan	30-40	Also 30-40MP; restores 35-45 from inventory
Doc Galaktik's Homeopathic Elixir	18-20
magnolia blossom	15-30	Also 15-30 MP
cast	15-20
tube of herbal ointment	14-16
Doc Galaktik's Restorative Balm	13-15
pink-belly slapper	9-12	Delevels 8-10
Doc Galaktik's Ailment Ointment	8-10
forest tears	5-10

Lose HP

Item	Lost HP	Notes
blue shell	25	Damages player if player has more HP; drops 1-3 blue pixels and 1-3 white pixels
Drunkula's bell	20% maximum HP (cold)	Does cold damage to groups; not consumed on use.
flaregun	10-30 (physical) 10-30 (hot)	Sometimes Either physical or hot damage
imitation crab meat	20-25% of monster's attack	Damages the player when not underwater
live nautical mine	300-500	Damages the player for 300-500 above water; damages for 25% of damage done to monster when underwater.
Miniborg beeper	15-20	Does 20-25 damage to enemy; not consumed on use.
ovoid leather thing	40-50	Sometimes
scroll of ancient forbidden unspeakable evil	5-6 (elemental)	Will be of any of the five elemental damages
stone frisbee	40-50	Sometimes
toy deathbot	5 - (10% player's HP)	Does (25 + HP taken) damage; not consumed on use.

Restore MP

Item	MP	Notes
pixel energy tank	1000	Also restores 1000 HP
magical mystery juice	1.5*level + 4 to 6
high-pressure seltzer bottle	150-200
communications windchimes	150-200	Has several possible effects; only operates on The Battlefield while wearing War Hippy Fatigues
PADL Phone	150-200	Has several possible effects; only operates on The Battlefield while wearing Frat Warrior Fatigues
New Cloaca-Cola	140-160
Tom's of the Spanish Main Toothpaste	100-150	Only when used against a toothy pirate
fancy blue potion	90-110	Also gives 40 turns of Healthy Blue Glow
blue pixel potion	50-80
unrefined Mountain Stream syrup	50-60
bottle of Monsieur Bubble	45-65
banana spritzer	40-100
blue potion	40-60	Also gives 20 turns of Healthy Blue Glow
blue plastic oyster egg	35-50
palm-frond fan	30-40	Also 30-40 HP; restores 35-45 from inventory
green pixel potion	30-40	Also 40-60 HP
Knob Goblin superseltzer	25-29
gold star	20-30	Also gives 10 turns of Healthy Blue Glow
surgical tape	20-30	Also delevels by 5-8. KOLHS only.
magnolia blossom	15-30	Also 15-30 HP
Cloaca-Cola	10-14
Dyspepsi-Cola	10-14
Knob Goblin seltzer	8-12
Mountain Stream soda	6-9

Meat

Item	Meat	Notes
black plastic oyster egg	300-400
golden ring	500	When used against a gaudy pirate
Goodfella contract	-3*familiar weight	Only with Penguin Goodfella as active familiar
meat vortex	1 to monster's meat drop	Against monsters that drop meat
Rain-Doh orange agent	-10 to -50	Does (20 + meat taken) damage
toy mercenary	-5 to -10	Does (25 + meat taken) damage

Effect

Item	Effect	Duration	Notes
antique hand mirror	Bad Luck	7	Instantly kills The Guy Made Of Bees
chocolate frosted sugar bomb	Sugar Rush	10	Does 200-300 damage and delevels by 20
ghost protocol	Spectral	1	Effect only lasts 3 combat rounds
Gnomitronic Hyperspatial Demodulizer	Super-Charged, Super-Mega-Charged, Super-Mega-Ultra-Charged, or Super-Mega-Ultra-Hyper-Charged	5	Not consumed; grants an effect if it lands the final blow on monster; effect is based upon monster's level
memory of an AG base pair	Memory of Speed	1
memory of an AT base pair	Memory of Aggressiveness	1
memory of a CA base pair	Memory of Strength	1
memory of a CG base pair	Memory of Smarts	1
memory of a CT base pair	Memory of Attractiveness	1
memory of a GT base pair	Memory of Resilience	1
odor extractor	On the Trail	40	Not usable against certain monsters
spectral jelly	Spectral	1	Effect only lasts 3 combat rounds
The Big Book of Pirate Insults	Embarrassed	1	Sometimes gives the effect when used on a pirate
yellow plastic oyster egg	Egg-headedness, Egg-cellent Vocabulary, or Egg-stra Arm	20

Damage

Item	Damage	Notes
rickety old unicycle	5905-9051	Is also an accessory
Coily™	3000-8000	Acts after 1-3 rounds; is also a ranged weapon
crusty hula hoop	2074-5973	Is also an accessory
red wagon	2019-5875	Is also an off-hand item
big red button	????
lawn dart	1000-5000	Acts after 1-3 rounds; is also a weapon
old school flying disc	1000-5000	Acts after 1-3 rounds; is also a shield
Mer-kin killscroll	1500-2000	Only works against Mer-kin enemies
sharpened hubcap	400-600	Chance to instantly kill a monster
New Age hurting crystal	500
ballpark hot daub	450-500	Delevels by 75
The Bomb	400-500	Instantly kills non-boss enemies
4:20 bomb	400-500	Instantly kills Hippies
bobcat grenade	400-500	Instantly kills beasts
boozebomb	400-500	Instantly kills Orcs
box of hammers	400-500	Instantly kills Constructs
holy bomb, batman	400-500	Instantly kills Undead
skull with a fuse in it	406?
noxious gas grenade	200-300 100-120 Poison	Poison damage recurs, decreasing 50% every round
live nautical mine	312-532	Underwater only; also damages player for 25% of damage done to monster.
pool torpedo	251-349	Underwater only; sometimes not consumed on use
smoking grass	250-300	Delevels by 50
Sparking El Vibrato drone	250-300
Frosty's iceball	200-300	Can be used up to three times a day, lost on third use.
chocolate frosted sugar bomb	200-300	Delevels by 20; grants Sugar Rush (10 adventures)
lewd playing card	100-150 100-150
poltergeist-in-the-jar-o	200-250	Semi-rare
unstable laser battery	200-250	Staggers
fireball	200-250
groupie lipstick	150-250
facehugging alien	100-300	Acts after 3 rounds
imitation crab meat	150-235	underwater only
Zombo's empty eye	150-200	May only be used every 50 adventures, not consumed upon usage, also delevels.
communications windchimes	150-200	Has several possible effects; only operates on The Battlefield while wearing War Hippy Fatigues
PADL Phone	128-177	Has several possible effects; only operates on The Battlefield while wearing Frat Warrior Fatigues
rainbow bomb	20-30 20-30 20-30 20-30 20-30 20-30	Does an estimated total of 120-180 in physical and prismatic damage.
spangly unitard	100-250	Delevels 10-20
death blossom	20-30 20-30 20-30 20-30 20-30	Prismatic Damage; does a total of 100-150 damage
floorboard cruft	100-120	Stuns for 2 rounds and delevels 18-20
petrified wood	50-60 50-60
killing feather	100-120
round blue bomb	90-110
macrame net	90-100	Staggers, delevels 8-10
superamplified boom box	90-100	Staggers, delevels 8-10
sausage bomb	80-120	Stuns for 2 rounds and delevels 15-20
fetid feather	80-120
flaming feather	80-120
flirtatious feather	80-120
frightful feather	80-120
frozen feather	80-120
big boom	80-120	Staggers
book of matches	40-50
pixel cross	80-100	Deals an additional 80-100 damage the following round. Deals increased damage against Vanya's Creature
ovoid leather thing	80-100	Can sometimes damage player for 40-50HP instead
stone frisbee	80-100	Can sometimes damage player for 40-50HP instead
shuriken salad	25-35 25-35 25-35
exploding hacky-sack	75-100
tequila grenade	75-100
chipotle wasabi cilantro aioli	30-40 8-10 8-10 8-10 8-10 8-10	Does an estimated total of 70-90 in physical and prismatic damage.
fire of unknown origin	35-45 35-45
patchouli oil bomb	65-80	When used on a frat soldier, causes an additional 50-80 damage
molotov cocktail cocktail	65-80	When used on a hippy, causes an additional 50-80 damage
throwing fork	20-30 20-30 20-30	Performs three separate physical attacks
droopy doll eye	60-80
brick of sand	60-80	Stuns for 2 rounds
beer bomb	55-75
water pipe bomb	55-75
underwater slingshot	50-100	Underwater only; 70% chance to not be consumed on use; 20% to do 300-500 damage instead
painted turtle	10-20 10-20 10-20 10-20 10-20	Prismatic Damage; does a total of 50-100 damage; Does not work on Frosty or Hodgman
half-empty carton of milk	50-100
star throwing star	50-75
throwing spoon	50-60	Delevels by 13-15
sake bomb	50-60	Delevels by 5
ferret bait	50-60	Delevels by 5
rocky raccoon	50-60
Cloaca grenade	50-60	Reduces Monster's Attack by 2
Dyspepsi grenade	50-60	Reduces Monster's Attack by 2
pixel holy water	50-60	Does 240-290 to Vanya's Creature
bottle of alcohol	45-65
chunk of hot iron	40-80
NG	40-70
vial of holy water	40-60
grouchy restless spirit	40-45
lavender plastic oyster egg	35-50
mauve plastic oyster egg	35-50
puce plastic oyster egg	35-50
monomolecular yo-yo	35-45
illegal firecracker	15-20 + 15-20	KOLHS only
razor-tipped yo-yo	35-45
Rain-Doh orange agent	30-70	Takes 10-50 meat; is not spent when used
dictionary	30-60	Only works against bad spelling monsters, is not spent when used
facsimile dictionary	30-60	Only works against bad spelling monsters, is not spent when used
Battlie Light Saver	30-50	Staggers
plastic cup of beer	30-40
plastic cup of flat beer	30-40	+15% item drop bonus at end of combat
photoprotoneutron torpedo	30-40	Sometimes does 40-50 damage instead
black spot	32-40
yo-yo	30-40
ancient spice	30-40	Delevels by 5-6
toy soldier	30-35	Uses a bottle of tequila from inventory
toy mercenary	30-35	Uses 5-10 Meat
fat bottom quark	25-40
duskwalker syringe	25-40	Obtains bubblin' crude from Oil Peak monsters
great big capacitor	25-34	Staggers
dangerous jerkcicle	20-40	Has special effects on bosses in The Glacier of Jerks
miniature boiler	20-40	Deals 200-400 damage to group enemies
pencil kunai	20-30
wood screw	20-30	KOLHS only.
nugget of sodium	11-20 + 12-18	KOLHS only.
scroll of ancient forbidden unspeakable evil	20-30	Always causes 5-6 points of random elemental self-damage; selects elemental weakness, doing 40-60 damage to elemental monsters; instantly kills physically resistant monsters
jar of swamp gas	20-30	Stuns 2-4 rounds
boulder	20-30
frigid ninja stars	20-25
tree-eating kite	20-25	Does damage only sometimes, is not spent if damage is done
plot hole	20-25	Delevels by 3-5; staggers 50% of the time
chlorine crystal	20-39	KOLHS only.
Miniborg Destroy-O-Bot	10-15 10-15	Also delevels 3-5. Is not spent when used.
Miniborg beeper	20-25	Damages user for 15-20 HP. Is not spent when used.
miniborg laser	15-20	Is not spent when used.
miniborg stomper	15-20	Is not spent when used.
naughty paper shuriken	15-20	Is not spent when used Cannot be used in hardcore Increases pants drops by 50%
stick of dynamite	15-20
yo	15-20
carton of rotten eggs	12-15	Also delevels 8-10; can be reused 8-10 times
Way More Tears™ pepper spray	12-15	Also delevels 8-10; can be reused 8-10 times
Rain-Doh blue balls	10-20	Stuns for 2 rounds; is not spent when used; usable once per combat
clumsiness bark	11-19	Staggers; used against bosses in The Clumsiness Grove
mariachi G-string	10-15
onion shurikens	10-15
Gnomitronic Hyperspatial Demodulizer	6-15	Not consumed when used; can grant effects when it scores the final blow against a monster
soup turtle	6-10
bag of airline peanuts	6-10
baseball	6-8
leftovers of indeterminate origin	5-6
sonar-in-a-biscuit	5-7
terrible poem	5-6
hair spray	3-4
Knob Goblin firecracker	2-4
razor-sharp can lid	2-3
seal tooth	1	Is not spent when used
spices	1	Is not spent when used

Damage (scales to stats)

Item	Damage	Notes
cursed cannonball	Special +Special	Total damage roughly equal to your buffed Muscle
cursed voodoo skull	Special +Special	Total damage roughly equal to your buffed Mysticality
cursed dirty joke scroll	Special +Special	Total damage roughly equal to your buffed Moxie
divine blowout	Moxie	Does buffed Moxie in damage; awards Moxie substats (see item page for formula)
divine can of silly string	Myst	Does buffed Mysticality in damage; awards Mysticality substats (see item page for formula)
divine noisemaker	Muscle	Does buffed Muscle in damage; awards Muscle substats (see item page for formula)
grody jug	Myst	Does buffed Mysticality in damage; makes target stench-aligned for the duration of combat.
hot ashes	Highest	Does highest buffed stat in damage.
love song of vague ambiguity	Muscle	Does buffed Muscle in damage; restores HP based on damage done
love song of smoldering passion	Myst	Does buffed Mysticality in damage; restores MP based on damage done
love song of icy revenge	Moxie	Does buffed Moxie in damage; gives familiar XP based on damage done
love song of sugary cuteness	Muscle	Does buffed Muscle in damage; awards Muscle substats based on damage done
love song of disturbing obsession	Myst	Does buffed Mysticality in damage; awards Mysticality substats based on damage done
love song of naughty innuendo	Moxie	Does buffed Moxie in damage; awards Moxie substats based on damage done
shard of double-ice	Highest	Does cold damage equal to highest buffed stat; makes target cold-aligned for the duration of combat
The Six-Pack of Pain	Muscle	Does buffed Muscle in damage
special clip: boneburners	Special +Special	Total damage roughly equal to 6x your buffed Moxie; requires mercenary pistol or mercenary rifle
special clip: graveburpers	Special +Special	Total damage roughly equal to 6x your buffed Moxie; requires mercenary pistol or rifle
special clip: splatterers	Special +Special	Total damage roughly equal to 6x your buffed Moxie; requires mercenary pistol or rifle

Damage (tied to another mechanic)

Item	Damage	Notes
Bohemian rhapsody	3-60	apparently 3-5 × <level>, capped at 60
candy kneecapping stick	10-20	Additionally deals Y.7-.75 damage, where Y is the number of turns of Sugar Rush remaining, and removes the effect.
d12	Special	Damage is Xd12, where X is <level>+1 capped at 30. Damage can be physical or a random element
d20	Special	Damage is 1d20 × <level>
d6	1-216	Damage is equal to the cube of 1d6; rolling a 1 deals 1 damage, 2 deals 8 damage, 3 deals 27, 4 deals 64, 5 deals 125, and 6 deals 216.
d8	Xd8 (+Xd8) (+Xd8) (+Xd8) (+Xd8)	X is (<level>+1)/3 and indicates the number of dice rolled
gift items with a gift-a-pult equipped	Special	A gift-a-pult allows gift items to be used as combat items. Items do physical damage that generally scales to their cost and/or rarity.
Goodfella contract	Special	With a Penguin Goodfella as your active familiar, costs Meat and deals 2 to 4 times the familiar's weight in tuned elemental damage.
red button	Special	Damage done is 2 + 1d3 for each red button in inventory. At least one and up to 10-20% of the buttons used are consumed.
rogue swarmer	Special	Damage done is floor(50 + 10 * X0.7), where X is the number of rogue swarmers in inventory. Sometimes is not spent when used
samurai turtle	5-10	Uses ninja stars from the player's inventory for up 200-300 damage; 5-7 uses before being consumed
shrinking powder	50% enemy HP	Semi-rare. Halves enemy HP.
slime stack	Special	Deals 10% to 20% of the monster's current HP, with a minimum range of about 40-50. Also delevels by floor(10%).
toy deathbot	30-special	Upper limit is floor(10%*your HP) + 25. You lose 5 HP to floor(10%*your HP) when used.

Passive Damage

The following items initiate Passive Damage. Each one acts every round unless otherwise noted.

Item	Damage per round	Notes
pufferfish spine	Special	Damage increases as an exponential function of combat rounds elapsed and number of spines used.
candycaine powder	Special	Damage increases as an exponential function of combat rounds elapsed and number of pouches of candycaine powder used.
pogs	Special	Each of the eleven pogs does damage or delevels and acts in all subsequent rounds. Their effects are altered if certain other pogs are used in the same combat.
pulled orange taffy	150-250	Underwater only
noxious gas grenade	100-120 (Poison)	Poison damage recurs, decreasing 50% every round. Additionally deals 200-300 damage on initial use.
handful of bees	80-99
ear poison	80-99(?) (Poison)	Staggers opponent. Poison damage recurs, decreasing by 50% every round.
broken BRICKO brick	50-100	Damage stacks with each additional brick used. Against a BRICKO monster, each brick deals 500-1000 damage. Only deals damage if the monster acts.
adder	30-40 (Poison)	Poison damage recurs, decreasing 50% every round.
sawblade fragment	Special	Passive damage starts at 20-30 and is reduced by 5-10 each round. Additionally deals 100-150 damage on initial use.
paint bomb	5-10 (+5-10) (+5-10) (+5-10) (+5-10)
pygmy blowgun	20-30 (Poison)	Poison damage recurs, decreasing 50% every round. Does up to 38-56 total damage.
clutch of dodecapede eggs	20-25 (Poison)	Poison damage recurs, decreasing 50% every round. Also delevels 10-12.
jagged scrap metal	18-32	Deals 20-30 damage on initial use. Passive damage is approximately equal to the initial damage caused, with a variance of plus or minus two points.
molten scrap metal	Special	Item deals 20-30 damage and causes three rounds of diminishing burning damage.
jigsaw blade	18-22	Additionally deals 10-20 damage on initial use
brass gear	15-20	Additionally deals 20-30 damage on initial use
can of sterno	10-20	Additionally deals 15-30 damage on initial use
hedgeturtle	5-10	Additionally deals 30-60 damage on initial use
Colon Annihilation Hot Sauce	6-8
hand grenegg	6-8
possessed tomato	6-8
blue raspberry troll doll	3-5	Not consumed on use
cinnamon troll doll	3-5	Not consumed on use
grape troll doll	3-5	Not consumed on use

Deleveling

Item	-ML	Notes
crayon shavings	30%	Reduces monster attack and defense by approximately 30%, calculated separately
slime stack	10%	Reduces monster attack and defense by floor(10%). Also deals damage.
CSA obedience grenade	5%	Reduces monster attack and defense by 5%; stuns for 3 rounds
licorice garrote	Special	Delevels by 10+X, where X is the square root of turns of Sugar Rush remaining. Removes Sugar Rush effect.
sea lasso	Special	Power determined by player's lasso skill; sometimes not consumed on use; underwater only
Mer-kin mouthsoap	254-295?
The Six-Pack of Pain	100-120	Does buffed Muscle in damage
crude voodoo doll	10-100	Attempts to equalize monster to your stats. See page for details.
sea cowbell	70-80	Delevels 150-200 underwater, 70-80 on dry land
ballpark hot daub	75	Deals 450-500
broken glass grenade	50	Also deals damage
smoking grass	50	Deals 250-300 damage
unnatural gas	40-50
Zombo's empty eye	30-50	May only be used every 50 adventures, not consumed upon usage, also deals 150-200 damage.
d4	1-40
bronzed locust	20-30
golden ring	20-30
Great Wolf's lice	20-30	Delevels beasts by 30%; not consumed on use
HOA citation pad	20-30	Delevels dudes by 30%; not consumed on use
ink bladder	20-30	When used in non-underwater zones
Mayor Ghost's scissors	20-30	Delevels undead by 30%; not consumed on use
spooky sap	20-30
chocolate frosted sugar bomb	20	Also does 200-300 damage and grants Sugar Rush
floorboard cruft	18-20	Deals 100-120 damage. Stuns for 2 rounds.
pacification grenade	18-20	Has a special effect on angry cavebugbears
d10	15-20
depantsing bomb	15-20
sausage bomb	15-20	Deals 80-120 damage and stuns for 2 rounds
Ye Olde Medieval Insult	15-20	Staggers
spangly unitard	10-20	Deals 100-250 damage
quantum nanopolymer spider web	18-19
chaos butterfly	+/- 17
throwing spoon	13-15	Deals 50-60 damage
Russian Ice	13-15
angry inch	12-15	KOLHS only
divine cracker	10-15	May "pick-pocket" monster as well
carton of rotten eggs	8-10	Also deals 12-15 damage; can be reused 8-10 times
Way More Tears™ pepper spray	8-10	Also deals 12-15 damage; can be reused 8-10 times
killing jar	?-5-12-?	Staggers
wumpus-hair net	7-15	Staggers
ornate picture frame	10-15?	Also, staggers
kite	12	May stagger
clutch of dodecapede eggs	10-12	Also deals 20-25 poison damage
mylar scout drone	10-12	Staggers (75% of the time)
powdered organs	10-12	Special message when used against Ed the Undying
blob of wood glue	9-11	Staggers
surgical tape	5-8	Also heals 20-30 HP. KOLHS only.
palm-frond net	8-12	Staggers
bowling ball	7-11
jar full of wind	8-10	Staggers; used against bosses in The Maelstrom of Lovers
macrame net	8-10	Staggers; 90-100 damage
pink-belly slapper	8-10	Also heals 9-12 HP
superamplified boom box	8-10	Staggers
black pepper	7-10
croquet hedgehog	5-10	Also delevels by 5-10 in every subsequent round; also does damage if the player wields a flamingo mallet.
handful of sand	5-10
handful of sawdust	4-10
possessed top	6-8
Tom's of the Spanish Main Toothpaste	6-8
oily boid	5-8	Staggers or obtains a woim
off-white plastic oyster egg	7	May stagger
inkwell	4-7	May stagger
Space Tours Tripple	4-7
barbed-wire fence	1-7	May stagger
top	6
ferret bait	5	45-60 damage
sake bomb	5	45-60 damage
wussiness potion	5	May stagger
fancy bath salts	4-5
roofie	4-5	May stagger
Miniborg Destroy-O-Bot	3-5	Is not spent when used
miniborg strangler	3-5	Is not spent when used
patchouli incense stick	3-5	May stagger
plot hole	3-5	May stagger; 20-25 damage
grass clippings	3-5
vial of patchouli oil	4	May stagger
Knob Goblin stink bomb	3	May stagger
spider web	3	May stagger
gob of wet hair	2-3	Staggers
shaving cream	2-3	May stagger
30669 scroll	1-3
33398 scroll	1-3
334 scroll	1-3
64067 scroll	1-3
668 scroll	1-3
8-ball	1-3
Cloaca grenade	2	50-60 damage Reduces MA only
disease	2	May stagger
Dyspepsi grenade	2	50-60 damage Reduces MA only

Stagger

A stagger prevents enemies from acting for the current round only and may have a less than 100% chance of working. For items that prevent enemy action over multiple rounds, see the Stun section below.

Item	Rounds
barbed-wire fence	1 (50%)
Battlie Light Saver	1 (100%)
big boom	1 (100%)
brass abacus	1 (100%)
clumsiness bark	1 (100%)
disease	1 (50%)
dwarf bread	1 (100%)
gob of wet hair	1 (100%)
GOTO	1 (50-75%)
great big capacitor	1 (100%)
gyroscope	1 (100%)
inkwell	1 (50%)
jar full of wind	1 (100%)
kite	1 (50%)
Knob Goblin stink bomb	1 (50%)
macrame net	1 (100%)
mylar scout drone	1 (75%)
off-white plastic oyster egg	1 (50%)
ornate picture frame	1 (100%)
palm-frond net	1 (100%)
patchouli incense stick	1 (50%)
plot hole	1 (50%)
procrastination potion	1 (50%)
quantum nanopolymer spider web	1 (100%)
Rain-Doh indigo cup	1 (100%)
really sticky spider web	1 (50%)
really really sticky spider web	1 (50%)
roofie	1 (50%)
scented massage oil	1 (100%)
shard of double-ice	1 (100%)
shaving cream	1 (50%)
spider web	1 (50%)
superamplified boom box	1 (100%)
tongue depressor	1 (100%)
tropical orchid	1 (50%)
unstable laser battery	1 (100%)
vial of patchouli oil	1 (50%)
wumpus-hair net	1 (100%)
wussiness potion	1 (50%)
Ye Olde Medieval Insult	1 (100%)

Stun

Item	Rounds
anemone nematocyst	1-4 (1-2 on land; 3-4 in sea)
banana peel	2
black BRICKO brick	2-5
brick of sand	2
Chinese curse words	3
chloroform rag	3-4
clingfilm tangle	2-3
CSA obedience grenade	3
d6	2
finger cuffs	2-3
floorboard cruft	2
twisted piece of wire	2
gas balloon	3-4
jar of swamp gas	2-3
naughty paper shuriken	3
opium grenade	2-3
oversized snowflake	5
paperclip sproinger	2
pixel stopwatch	5
Rain-Doh blue balls	5
sausage bomb	2
sealhide snare	2-3
soggy used band-aid	3
The Lost Comb	3
very large caltrop	5-6

Random Effects

Item	Effects
Dungeons of Doom potions	Effects are randomized per player per ascension
flaregun	One of the following: 10-30 damage 10-30 +10-30 damage Deals 10-30 +10-30 to the player During the Mysterious Island Quest, does nothing during combat
spooky alphabet block	If five or more blocks are found in inventory, randomly one of the following: Delevels Stuns for 2-3 rounds Deals spooky damage Deals spooky damage over 2-3 rounds Deals spooky damage and heals you If four blocks are found, staggers. Else, has no effect.
pencil stub	One of the following: Deals 50% of monster's current HP in physical damage 10-20 prismatic damage Delevel 30-40 Restore HP 50-60 Restore MP 30-40
pool of liquid metal	One of the following: 10-20 damage Stagger Restore HP 20-30 Restore MP 15-25
robotronic egg	One of the following: 62-80 damage Restore HP 67-85 Lose HP 15-20 Delevel 10-13 Stagger Obtain a deactivated RoboGoose
spectre scepter	One of the following: 6-10 damage 8-10 Hot Damage Delevel 1-3 Restore HP 4-5 Not consumed on use
stuffed alien blob	Emulates another random combat item
stuffed doppelshifter	Emulates another random combat item
stuffed gray blob	Emulates another random combat item

Run Away

Main article: Run Away

• ball
• bargain flash powder
• buckyball
• fancy dress ball
• fish-oil smoke bomb
• giant eraser (KOLHS only)
• glob of Blank-Out
• GOTO
• green smoke bomb — 90% success rate; no adventure loss if successful
• Mer-kin pinkslip
• peppermint parasol
• short writ of habeas corpus
• tattered scrap of paper — 50% success rate; no adventure loss if successful
• T.U.R.D.S. Key
• Winifred's whistle
• wumpus-hair bolo

Run Away and Remove Monster

Main article: Banishing

• Artist's Butterknife of Regret, Artist's Cookie Cutter of Loneliness, Artist's Crème Brulée Torch of Fury, Artist's Spatula of Despair, Artist's Whisk of Misery (removes monsters from A Grocery Bag)
• classy monkey (Class Act only)
• cocktail napkin — (Against clingy pirates only) no adventure loss; removes monster from the zone for about 20 adventures.
• crystal skull
• dirty stinkbomb (KOLHS only)
• deathchucks (KOLHS only)
• divine champagne popper — no adventure loss; removes monster from the zone for 5 adventures.
• Harold's bell — no adventure loss; removes monster from the zone for 20 adventures.
• pulled indigo taffy (underwater only)

Instant Kill

Main article: Insta-kill

• 4:20 bomb (against Hippies)
• antique hand mirror (against The Guy Made Of Bees)
• bobcat grenade (against beasts)
• The Bomb
• boozebomb against Orcs)
• box of hammers (against Constructs)
• drone self-destruct chip (against liquid metal bugbear)
• holy bomb, batman (against Undead)
• mime eraser (against cheerless mime functionary in The Cheerless Spire (Level 1)
• molybdenum magnet (against certain gremlins in The Junkyard)
• Plus-sized phylactery (against the Gargantulihc)
• quantum nanopolymer spider web (against bugbear scientist)
• scroll of ancient forbidden unspeakable evil (against physically-resistant monsters)
• sharpened hubcap (25% chance of instant kill)
• world's most dangerous birdhouse (KOLHS only)

Disintegration

Main article: Yellow ray strategy

• pulled yellow taffy (underwater only)
• pumpkin bomb
• unbearable light
• yellowcake bomb (KOLHS only)

Tower Monsters

• barbed-wire fence (against the Enraged Cow)
• baseball (against the Beer Batter)
• black pepper (against the giant fried egg)
• bronzed locust (against the malevolent crop circle)
• hair spray (against the Ice Cube)
• chaos butterfly (against the Tyrannosaurus Tex)
• disease (against the Vicious Easel)
• fancy bath salts (against the fancy bath slug)
• frigid ninja stars (against the Flaming Samurai)
• inkwell (against the darkness)
• knob Goblin firecracker (against the concert pianist)
• leftovers of indeterminate origin (against the Bronze Chef)
• mariachi G-string (against El Diablo)
• meat vortex (against the Big Meat Golem)
• NG (against the Giant Desktop Globe)
• photoprotoneutron torpedo (against the Electron Submarine)
• powdered organs (against the possessed pipe-organ)
• plot hole (against the best-selling novelist)
• razor-sharp can lid (against the Fickle Finger of F8)
• sonar-in-a-biscuit (against the Bowling Cricket)
• spider web (against the Pretty Fly)
• stick of dynamite (against the collapsed mineshaft golem)
• tropical orchid (against the giant bee)

Copying

Main article: Copying

• 4-d camera
• alpine watercolor set
• crappy camera (only works 50% of the time)
• crayon shavings (Bugbear Invasion monsters only)
• portable photocopier
• pulled green taffy (underwater only)
• Rain-Doh black box (reusable)
• Spooky Putty sheet (reusable)
• sticky clay homunculus (KOLHS only)
• unfinished ice sculpture

Other

• anti-anti-antidote — Removes poison effects from the player.
• bottle of Gü-Gone — Used only in the sauceror's version of the Secret Tropical Island Volcano Lair.
• caret — Causes the next attack in the current combat to be a critical hit.
• dinged-up triangle — Summons a hobo underling.
• DNA extraction syringe — Used to obtain samples for the Little Geneticist DNA-Splicing Lab.
• El Vibrato punchcards can be used in A Shimmering Portal to command various constructs. The commands are detailed in the El Vibrato Island guide.
• jam band flyers and rock band flyers — When used successfully, enemy's next attack always hits.
• software glitch — Transforms current monster into a bugged bugbear, grants 1 adventure on first use each day.
• strange goggles — Quest item used in The Suspicious-Looking Guy's Shady Past.
• The Big Book of Pirate Insults and Massive Manual of Marauder Mockery - When used against a non-pirate, enemy's next attack always hits.
• tiny goth giant — Applies Gothy styling to combat text.
• tongue depressor — Displays monster's stats.

Not Consumed

See Reusable Combat Items for a list of combat items that are not consumed on use.

Before February 15th, 2012, all combat items (except the naughty paper shuriken, which is a Mr. Store item) were destroyed when blocked by The Bonerdagon, your shadow, or the first/second form of The Naughty Sorceress.

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